Chapter 84: Kouta unlocks his heart.

----Thursday Morning----

Ruru had given us our good morning call this morning.  It was soft and sweet, and the scent she had on her body was so familiar, so inviting… So I went to take her, but she refused me.

Ruru asked me to finish quickly with Shi-chan and see her in the living room.  She had something to discuss with me.  She said as much, and exited the room.  The surprising thing was, she was fully clothed for a change.

“Kouta?” Shi-chan finally says, wondering what my plan was for this morning.

You.  I definitely want to do it with you.  Yet the nagging feeling I had inside my head said Ruru’s talk was more important.

“I… should hear what Ruru wants to discuss with me.” I say non-emphatically.

Shi-chan gave me a wet kiss on my cheek and got up first, helping me rise out of the futon.  She didn’t appear disappointed at my choice.  I at least got the pleasure of dressing my Shi-chan and enjoying feeling her body up a bit to get me warmed up for the day.

In the living room was Ruru, smoking like a forest fire and looking at her phone nervously for some reason.  When I came out of the bedroom, she asked me to sit down next to her.

She began the coming tribulation with only a half apology.

“Kouta, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first.”

She touched the screen, and I was made to watch a video.  In it was a familiar space, a place which I recognized almost immediately as Onee-chan’s work studio.  

In the scene immediately was Onee-chan, and a woman.  Who that woman was there was little need to guess.  It was the convenience store clerk, Sato-san.

What they were doing?  Sato-san was helping herself to my Onee-chan’s privates, of course!

my Onee-chan’s…?

…

????

I began to feel something bubbling up inside my body just then.

As I watch the petite frame of Ruru slowly crawl like a thief in the night in between Sato’s slender unattractive legs, it didn’t matter that she was even there… I can’t see anyone but Onee-chan on the screen.

A certain memory returned to me.

I’m at home.  Mom is away, and Dad is at work.  I had just discovered what it meant to please myself a few days before.

It’s a little late at night.  I had gone to the toilet and headed back to my room, but Onee-chan’s door was open just a little.  So I peek inside.  She’s in a funny position, but I can see it.

Her… thing!  

She’s not able to see me, but I can see her.  I can see her fingers rubbing away at it, and she’s making all kinds of lewd sounds.  I felt it grow. It was telling me to touch it.   I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, I didn’t know there was shame in it yet.  So I did.  I let my son out and I rubbed it.  As noises echoed inside my Onee-chan’s room, I rubbed and I rubbed and I rubbed.  Then it came out.  I made a noise, and I swear I thought she heard it, so I quickly ran to my bedroom, and locked the door.

I was breathing heavily.

In my imagination, it was me… putting it inside… of Onee-chan.

It was crazy.

I swore to keep that thought locked up.

Over the next few years, reliably on Saturdays at night, the door to her room was always open just enough to peek.  And I never missed it.  Not once, unless by some chance Onee-chan wasn’t home.  I hated those weeks!  I had learned to find other materials by then to appease me, but… there was nothing else like it.

One day, I don’t remember when… maybe a couple years ago? The show stopped, and I soon forgot the thing I liked doing the most… imagining myself pleasing Onee-chan.  Making her feel good because she never showed a happy face anymore.

I wanted to give her it all this time.  But I had to move on, and that memory had to move on with it.

Soon after, I was given another face to imagine… that of Nakada-san.

Many many times did Nakada-san do it for me.  I had no problem letting it out twice… three times a day for her in my mind.

Yet, as I watched the video, I realized something.

I might never get to hold my Onee-chan again, and I had all this time I could have done what I secretly desired to.  Why was I so hung up on her being my blood sister?  It’s not like I didn’t read those kinds of manga.  Some were surely still under my mattress at my parent’s home.

I wasn’t thinking of anything, yet I was now doing it.

Ruru was watching me watch this video, and I pulled my son out, and started rubbing it to Sato and Ruru, and especially Kanae.

The video took a turn before I could come.

I saw Ruru climb onto Kanae’s face.

Did I even have a thought other than ‘yes!’ I don’t know.  I was ready to let it out to this video.  But, I was unable to do anything, because nothing was happening.  Kanae wasn’t doing anything to Ruru.  I could hear Ruru cry in frustration. ‘why???’

Why didn’t you, Kanae?

After some rude heartbreaking words from Ruru on the phone, the video ended.

I had my son in my hand, and I was staring at a screen with a green triangle, prompting me to watch it again.  I had dared to reach for it, but I froze as my finger went to push play.

…

“Ruru… why… were you at Kanae’s?”  It seemed like an unimportant question.  My job was half-done.  I hadn’t let anything out.  I really wanted to, but I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t.

Ruru takes a deep drag, and says that it’s the exact same reason as she points to my son who is waiting to continue.

Ah.

I think I understand now.  This is what she was going on about...

“Ruru…”

“Kouta.  I love you, and I am terribly sorry I did that.  It wasn’t supposed to have happened.  I was just going to visit Kanae.  I had no idea that woman was there.”  She says with her bottom lip trembling.

I stare at her.

She stares at me.

She moves over and reaches for my son.

Her hands are also small as her frame is.  She’s a real loli in body size, maybe she’s 4’9”, I haven’t measured properly, though it’s what it says on her identification.  It doesn’t matter.

She’s continuing where I left off.

She goes to use her mouth, but I stop her.

I pull her onto me, and sit her on top of it.

“Kouta-kun.  I’m dirty.  I just came back again tonight from there.  What you saw was a video from the night before.  I didn’t film last night.  Kana-chan returned my love last night…  do… do you want me to share it with you?”  

Share… Onee-chan’s love?

I’ve missed it.

I’m so mad at Kanae for what she’s done.  She almost lost me Shi-chan.  I would have…. 

I would have…

What would I have done if it happened?  If I walked in and saw it happening again? Shi-chan and my father...?

Would I have gotten violent?  Would I have found some way to forgive her, or was she right to be worried that I would throw her away?

I… don’t know.  My thoughts on it are wavering after having seen this video.

Do I want Kanae back?  She’s happy.  The look on her face was happiness, wasn’t it?  I didn’t try and even talk with her properly.  I didn’t yell at her and blame her after I was enraged.  I just abandoned her, and when she was gone, I thought, good riddance!

But, was that how I really felt?

It’s almost been a week.

My garden is full of holes, the soil is soft, and my flowers have been uprooted.

I have not tended to my garden, I have only tried to upright the flowers which seemed easily fixable.  Even then, only the one which hadn’t fallen did I even show care for.  

…

I am a horrible person.

…

I abandoned my Onee-chan, instead of correcting her behavior.

Ruru is sitting atop me.  I reach down and pull her panties to the side.

This is an impossible task.  She is wearing cotton pants.

I think she understands me, as she climbs off and strips her lower garments.  Then resumes her place atop me again.

My son easily slides inside of her.

I hold onto Ruru tightly as I go in and out.  

My mental state changes.

The video I just saw replays in my mind.

I can only feel Kanae atop me now.

I am finally putting it in her.

Yes.  I have crossed the line…

Onee-chan is kissing my neck and the scent of Onee-chan’s disgusting cigarette smoke is wafting around.  

I don’t even care.

I pound away.

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She-chan is watching?

That’s fine.  She’s my flower too, isn’t she?  Aren’t you happy, Shi-chan?  I’m finally together with you all…

I’m finally together with…

I grab hold of Ruru’s arms and hold her in place as I finish

I let it out, I let it out and out, and I even accidentally let out something long sealed away.

“Onee-chan... I’m coming… inside…” I say as I unleash a torrent of my warped desire inside her vessel.

As the white haze flooded my mind with a moment of bliss, it also knocked clarity back into my head.

I came in… Ruru?

Ruru and Shi-chan are staring at me.

What have I done?

…

Ruru who has her arms around my neck whispers in my ear. “Please fill up your Onee-chan lots more <3”

…

I wanted to throw her off of me.  What the hell happened? 

I won’t hurt Ruru though.  So I carefully lift her up. It doesn’t matter. I spill out of her enough to ruin my school pants.

…

Nakada-san has brought me another pair.

Did you know about it, Shiori?  Did you know she went to see Kanae?

Shi-chan kneels by me, and cleans my son off.  

What is with these two?  Why?  Why are they so adamant about returning Kanae to me?

I can’t understand it.  How can you forgive her so easily?

“Why?”  I cry.  Shi-chan hears me as she works her mouth on my son.

“Why??” I cry again, as Ruru is wiping up with a tissue paper.

“Why do I have to bring her back!?” I cry out again, fed up at my own hangups with her and what she did to Nakada-san.

“Because she’s part of our garden, Kouta-kun.”  Ruru says, while looking at me somberly.

“Un.” I hear vibrate through my son, whom Shi-chan has almost entirely finished cleaning with her mouth.

Shi-chan gets up, and takes the cigarette from Ruru, wiping her lips with the back of her hand before taking a puff.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“What can I do?” I say futilely.  “I can’t take her back without her being punished.  She has to know she can never do something like that again.”

“Shi-chan and I both agree with you there, Kouta.  We never said she didn’t have to be punished.  So punish her.  Do what you have to.  We’ll support you, okay?”

Shi-chan also agrees to it.

“But she’s got Sato-san.  What if she doesn’t want to return?”

“Kouta, I will bring her back.”  Shi-chan says.

“You?”

“Do you think I can’t?”

I shake my head.  If anyone can, it’s Shiori.

“Kouta.  Let’s go see her.” Shi-chan says.

“When? After school?”

“Un.  Or now.” She replies, suggesting we abandon going to school today. “Kouta.  Are you prepared?”

“I…  It’s incest… I…” I falter.

“Kouta.  Incest is okay.” I hear Shiori say casually.

I look at Shi-chan.

I look at Ruru.

Both nod affirmatively at me.

“I…”

“Kouta.  Even I have…” Shi-chan says, but doesn’t finish.

Eh?  You have? But… that means with Shiho-san…?

She nods.  She nods until I accept what she’s saying.

“Really?”

“It’s okay, Kouta.  If it terrifies you, we can move somewhere nobody knows you two.  We are prepared to do anything for you, for us, for the home we’ve made.”  Ruru adds.

I can’t believe it.

These two…

I just shake my head.

“Will you all be there… to support me?”

“Yes, Kouta-kun.”

“Un.”

…

I guess this is it.  I will tear her down so she doesn’t fuck it up again.  I will break her instead.  Then I will hammer her back into the uprooted hole she left.  I will tend my garden.  I will make it stronger than ever!

The only problem I see now, is Sato-san. She is the only obstacle, for now.  How shall I handle her?

“Kouta.  I will deal… with Sato-san.  Will you trust me?  Let me stray once?” She says it carefully to me, slowly, even though it hurts to hear it.

I see.

If Shi-chan does it with Kanae… and Sato-san.  She can break those two apart by reminding Kanae of what made her so crazy for Shi-chan in the first place.

“I will bring her home.” Shi-chan says adamantly.

…

“You don’t have to say yes, Kouta.  This is just the easiest way for us.  It might not be so for you.  If it’s too much, we can think of another…” Ruru reminds me.  It's ultimately my choice.

I cup Shi-chan’s chin with my hand.  “If Kouta allows it.  It’s not betrayal.  It’s what Kouta desires.”

…

It’s not betrayal if I allow it.   Yes.   This was what it was all about, wasn’t it.  I hadn't set the boundaries of that with Shi-chan up to this point.

…

“Don’t show me.  I will trust you to do what you need to.  I don’t want to see you with Sato-san.  Even if I don’t think it counts.  I… not you.  I just don’t want to know if it was with you Shiori.  Only Ruru and Kanae, do I want to see enjoy the taste of you.  Only our garden is allowed that pleasure.”

Shi-chan hugs me for a long time.

She then picks up her phone and types something out.

“Kouta.  I will return.  With Kanae.” She says confidently.

I nod.

“Ruru.  Go get this.”  She sends a message to Ruru’s phone.

Ruru opens her eyes wide.

Shi-chan nods.

They have made their plans, all that remains now, is to discipline a runaway.

I sit and unlock the sealed memories of my mind from years back.

I open my heart to the lust I had for my sister for years and years.

Tonight.  I will break my Onee-chan.

And I will fix everything!

(Secret 66: Kouta was upset with Ruru's actions. She would be punished for straying without permission soon after Kanae returned.)

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