Chapter 3: It Wasn’t Me

“You know, you could have chosen anyone else on this entire planet. You still can,” I murmured to myself. At least that was how it looked.

 

But you’re so perfect…

 

It had gone on like this for months. Almost a year. It was hard to figure out at first, and I thought I was going crazy, but no, that wasn’t the case. No one else seemed to notice what was going on except for the occasional questioning. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, tell anyone that would listen. I wanted to get it off my chest, but he wouldn’t let me.

 

No one would believe you anyway…

 

That was probably true. If I could tell someone, I would probably be locked away in some far-out institution and drugged beyond recognition. Though, I don’t think he would allow that to happen to me. To us. He seemed attached to me, and often said I was perfect, just right, his. I didn’t want any of this, but there were some perks. Even if I hated to admit it.

 

It started off with small stuff. I noticed myself smiling at people, which was something I just didn’t do. I started having urges to go out to bars and clubs. I was more of a hermit. I enjoyed staying home away from people, reading books, and playing video games. I stood up straighter, as if I had gained the confidence that I lacked all through middle school and high school. I would wonder what was going on with me. I wasn’t consciously making these changes. I wasn’t reading some self-help book that would encourage me to become a better me. I had just started to do these things. Then one day, it happened.

 

I was standing at the bar inside of a sketchy nightclub, bobbing my head to the sound of music. I hadn’t even started to drink yet. A man walked up to me and looked at me in a way that made my skin crawl. He was attractive, don’t get me wrong, but I just didn’t like the way he looked at me.

 

“Let’s dance!” He said as he reached out and took my hands in his. I wanted to yank my hands away, I wanted to tell him to buzz off. Instead, I pulled him close to me.

 

“How about we skip all of that and go back to my place?” I smiled, showing my teeth, and my eyes focused on his. I tried to pull my hands away, to push this man back. I tried to say something, anything. My body just would not respond to me. I watched in horror as the man grabbed my face and leaned in to kiss me. I tried again to pull away and that was when I heard it.

 

Don’t ruin this for me, kid.

 

It was a raspy voice, loud in my head. I couldn’t think. I was standing there, making out with this stranger, with no control over my body, and a voice in my head telling me not to ruin this. That night was literally the worse night of my life. I wanted to cry, but the tears did not come. The entire time, I fought mentally, trying to move, trying to speak. The voice would only taunt me, or tell me to shut up and sleep. I was confused, horrified. There I was, having sex with a complete stranger, when the most I had ever done with anyone had been holding hands. I knew this voice was the cause of this. I don’t know if it had been me, or if the voice had somehow done it, but everything went black and quiet for the rest of the night. Suddenly, I could see again. I was no longer in the void.

 

Now, are you gonna cooperate with me, kid?

 

“Who is there?” I asked. I glanced around. I was in my bed, in my bedroom. It looked like I was alone, but the voice had been clear as day. I looked down at my naked body, partially covered with the sheets. “What do you want with me?”

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I just wanna live. We can do that together, the easy way or the hard way. I can make things good for you, if you just go along with what I say. Don’t fight me, it’s a lost cause.

 

“What do you mean a lost cause? Who are you?” I flung the sheets off me and stood up. I walked out of my bedroom, down the hallway, and into the living room.

 

Hehe, you’re not going to find me in there…

 

I frowned and looked around again, rushing off into the bathroom. There was no one in my apartment. I was alone, and this voice was in my head. I had to have gone crazy, right?

 

You’re not crazy, the voice answered my thoughts. Name’s Atticus, at least that’s what you’ll call me. Listen, kid. There’s no fighting this.

 

I looked into the mirror over the sink. I stared at my reflection. There was no way this was happening, right?

 

Wrong.

 

I gripped my head in my hands. Tears formed and began to roll down my cheeks as I sobbed silently. It could hear my thoughts, take over my body and my voice. It could make me do things, and it could send me back into that void, where it was black and cold. I hated that part the most. I never wanted to go back there again.

 

If you play your cards right, you can have a nice life with me.

 

“W…What are you?”

 

I’m a demon.

 

That was how I found out I was possessed.

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