Natasha the Halve

Chapter 153: 125 – Natasha’s jokes are mid.


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Josalia nodded. “Please wait a moment.” She turned around and spoke with an attendant standing behind her.

They nodded and walked away.

I gave her a nod. “Thanks.”

“You have very interesting ideas,” Gordon told me. “When and how did you come up with that? A world in which violence is the way to rule... terrifying and fascinating.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Has literature not explored that before?”

He smiled. “Well, yes... but not to the level you mention. And I have to admit that I can't suspend my disbelief enough where I find interest in a world without Halves. Too... unrealistic for my taste.”

I hummed in thought. “Well,” I began and told him of a world where the ruling elite is deathly desperate to perpetuate their position of power, otherwise they'd be held accountable of the crimes their rotted beliefs have brought about. A world in which ignorance is a systematic weapon to control the masses. Where people are treated like cattle to be exploited at every possible chance. Where dreams die before they have the chance to even bud. A world in which, through lies and deceit, the populace is put against each other in pointless fights that serve no purpose other than to blame others for atrocities the ruling class push them to. A world where the price of life is so high most don't agree to it and choose not to live. A world in which hope is manufactured and artificial, plus sold at obscene prices.

I also told him of the good, despite being very little of it due to the ever consuming machine of greed poisoning culture and faith.

I failed, however, circling back to telling him of how people, despite not interacting with literature most of the time, have to suspend their disbelief in everyday life to simply not crumble under the pressure of reality and how disjointed it is, resulting in people becoming mentally ill. Where the very idea of a better society is called a utopia because the sea of horror that is life is drowning imagination and motivation, and how easy and comfortable riding the wave of profitable values is.

Gordon listened in silence, his expression turning darker the deeper into the rabbit hole I took him.

“So imagine,” I sighed. “You wake up in a lavish home and prepare to go to work while the children next door are starving to death, but you not only not do a single thing about it, you celebrate it because their starvation gives subjective value to your success. The status quo must be maintained, otherwise you foster ideas of the worst possible kind. Actively wanting others to be in a better position and doing something about it, leaving personal gain behind, is frowned upon because it's somehow the most horrible thing to want.”

“I... can't,” the King muttered, pity palpable on his voice. “I can't imagine it. That world is dead, Your Excellency.”

I smiled and nodded.

“Gordon,” Josalia chuckled, then gave me a smile. “Her Excellency is talking about a fictitious world.”

The man blinked and nodded, then smiled and chuckled. “Right,” he sighed.

“Right,” I muttered. I hope it doesn't exist anymore. I really do.

Right on cue, the attendant returned and bowed. “The stage is clear, Your Excellency, Your Majesties,” they informed us.

“Thank you,” I told the attendant and gave the monarchs a nod. I turned around and walked to the stage.

There was a single Tigea on it. He noticed me and spoke into a microphone-like cone. “Dear guests, Her Excellency Natasha Novak would like to say a few words.”

Everyone turned to the stage and stopped what they were doing.

I went up the three steps and stood in front of the 'mic'.

The Tigea gave me a respectful nod and left the stage.

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I looked at the people in the Hall and nodded a few times. “Farts, huh? It's crazy. When you hold one in, the worst of you comes out sometimes.”

The Nobles raised their eyebrows in surprise.

I heard a loud sigh from the right.

I looked over and saw Lapia covering her face.

Her shoulders were shaking, though, so that's a point for the funny.

I laughed and produced my piano on the stage. This is cool, I thought with a smile. With the cone in hand, I sat down on the stool and tested a few notes. “Sorry about the bad joke. You could say I had a bit of an angry moment earlier,” I began and looked people in the eye. “I'm sorry about that. I should have a better control of things, and I'm working towards it. I hope I didn't ruin anyone's experience.”

People walked to the stage with interested faces.

No chairs were pulled out.

“I was thinking of playing a bit of music to calm things down,” I continued. “You might want to take a seat, this will take a while.”

Josalia and Gordon walked over and stood at the front, and the other rulers soon showed up next to them.

I waited until people sat down. “Alright, then. Let's begin,” I said and started playing.

First, I went with Liebesleid, the Kreisler and Rachmaninoff one. Though a bit sad, it's one of my favorites. Easily in the top ten.

As I played, I saw faces become surprised. Considering I'm two and a half months old, it would be natural for me to not know how to play an instrument. Reality is different, however.

In the sea of faces, I found Hanna.

She was looking at me with narrowed eyes and a cheeky smirk which looked pretty cool with her tusks.

Will you find out on your own? I wondered. How long will it take? You're pretty capable, Hanna... but can you guess that I lived two lives before?

I continued playing while looking at the audience.

Bromisnar had his eyes closed and was nodding in 4's.

I'll trade him a few pieces for music of this world, I concluded. He has a great tenor voice... maybe I can think of a few operas he could sing.

I finished the piece and then moved to the next, Pavane pour une infante défunte by Ravel. I used to hear the piece to sleep when I was in school. It's incredibly calming when played as it should be, despite the original romanticism which which it was originally written.

And so, I spent a full hour playing the piano.

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