Natasha the Halve

Chapter 165: 137 – She just like me fr.


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To muster up the courage to read the letter from my girlfriend's parent, I sang a stupid little song.

“Hail Mary full of grace, smack the bitch in the face. Take her gucci bag and the north face off her back. Jab her if she act,” I mumbled.

Sonya turned her head to me and let out a confused growl, then bumped my chest with her forehead.

“Yeah,” I chuckled, rubbing her chin. “Maybe robbing the mother of Jesus is not the best idea. Still, interesting that she has expensive clothes and accessories considering the canon lore.”

Pyotr joined Sonya in looking at me. He turned his head to the side and laughed like a seagull.

I looked at him, raised an eyebrow, and questioned, “Anyway, you said a Luzo tried to steal the letters?”

The Corvitex nodded. “Five!” he croaked. “I. Sleep. Luzo. Ambush.”

I nodded. “Where?”

“North. Small. Island.” he replied.

I pulled out a map of the world and showed it to him. “Show me,” I told him.

The bird pecked a spot in the middle of the sea between the three continents. “Around.”

“Huh,” I uttered. “And where is Miraztor?”

The bird turned his head and pecked the northern coast of Patuk.

“And Nilenna?” I probed.

He pecked the western coast of Makah, around the middle of the continent.

My eyebrows climbed my forehead in surprise. “You fly pretty fast,” I commented.

Pyotr nodded. “Sis. Made. Sure!”

I looked at the map and spent a few minutes calculating the distance. I bit my lips when I reached the answer. “You covered a bit over 100.000 kilometers in two weeks?”

The bird nodded. “One. Hundred. Four. Teen. Thousand. Seven. Hundred. Forty. Two.” he croaked and pecked Sonya's scales. “Six. Days. Total.”

“Holy shit...” I breathed, looking at the talking animal. “Wait... did you sleep and eat?”

Pyotr tilted his head. “Two. Hour. Sleep. Day. Hunt. Easy.”

This is turning to be way outside my understanding, I concluded and patted the bird. Birds that fly as fast as planes? Insane.

The Corvitex nuzzled against my hand.

I opened the letter from Yolin's mom and gave it a read.

'Natasha,

Welcome to Galeia.

I bet Yolin hasn't welcomed you properly. She's always been a free child.

What am I getting into. Of course you'd know. It's hard to miss, to be honest, and I figured it's one of the reasons you two hit it off.

I know it may not be my business, but try to get Her Divinity Danuva to teach her something if you can. This opportunity doesn't come often.

I know Halves don't have parents, and I hope I'm not imposing if I ask you to call me mom. You don't have to if you don't want to, though.

Take care of my daughter. I don't want to outlive her. With her choice of classes, however, the chances of her dying are pretty slim.

Yolin told me a little about you, and I can't wait to meet you. Come visit. I have three thousand years left to live, so no pressure.

The family welcomes you with open arms.

Hugs,

Bosin Makav.'

Well, I thought and stored the letter. I guess Yolin takes after her mother.

A smile formed on my face, though. Bosin seemed like a better mother than mine in every way.

It wasn't hard to be better than that bitch, to be completely honest.

I checked the other letters. Yolin's mom had written one for each girlfriend.

Rustling noises came from the tents followed by footsteps.

“Oh, Pyotr is back,” Alyssa yawned and walked to me.

I turned around and offered the letter. “From Yolin's mom.”

The Luzo arched an eyebrow and looked me in the eye. “Decided to talk?”

My left eyelid twitched and I shrugged. “I was angry last night.”

Her red eyes squinted. “Why?” she had the audacity to ask.

I took a deep breath, feeling the anger come back. “You acted like little shits with the game I came up with,” I explained. “It's okay if you don't understand, but the way you analyzed it and criticized it wasn't fun.”

She nodded, and her sleepiness faded away.

“Like,” I continued, shaking my head. “It's a game, it's not real. You don't have to dunk on it. When you tell me all that shit about good and evil and whatever, I listen. Even though I have proof that none of that shit has any meaning whatsofuckingever when shit gets real and you have to act.”

Alyssa's eyes widened a little in surprise.

Still, I continued. “I don't go Uhm, akshually morals are useless in the face of death and the only function they have is to be a detriment.” I ran a hair through my hair. “Laws?” I huffed. “What are they if not a threat of violence on the populace? Still, I listen to you when you explain them.”

Alyssa's mouth opened a little, but no sound came out.

“Why is a stupid fucking game eviscerated for it's unrealistic shit?” I asked her. “The entire point is to escape to another world for a moment and have fun.” I let out a long sigh. “And I know you didn't do it with malicious intentions to actively sabotage it, but when you ask 'Decided to talk?'... how do you think I feel?” I crossed my arms on my chest and stopped talking.

She slowly nodded, still looking me in the eye. “I'm sorry, Natasha,” she began. “I understand I made you feel bad.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Bad? No. Angry.”

Lapia came out of the tent and walked to us. She looked at me and nodded. “Me too, I'm sorry.”

“I'm not angry at you,” I sighed and explained. “It's just frustrating, and that makes me angry.”

The two nodded.

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“It's good that you tell us,” Alyssa pointed out. “I'd prefer you get angry than keep quiet and not talk about it.”

“True,” Lapia agreed.

The rest of my companions slowly came out of their tents, and by the look on their faces, they heard everything.

“I had fun,” Bonte spoke up with a shrug.

Thelea slapped his shoulder and shook her head in disapproval.

Elena, who was next to Pokora, knelt on the ground.

“Apologies, Your Excellency,” she exclaimed with an odd weight to her words.

I winced at that. “Anyway,” I sighed and opened my arms. “Come here.”

My two girlfriends stepped closer and hugged me.

Footsteps came from behind us.

“What did I miss?” Yolin wondered, having taken the last shift and returned just in time.

I turned my head to her. “Your mother wrote back.”

She nodded and walked to us, then joined the hug. “Good morning. Why do we have an audience?”

“Natasha lost her shit for a bit,” Pokora replied with a grin, a few meters away.

The Oni nodded. “And everyone's alive?” she joked.

I rolled my eyes and felt my bladder act up. “I need to go pee,” I whispered.

“Hanna is that way,” Yolin pointed south. “She said the same.”

I nodded and untangled from the hug. “I'll be right back.”

Alyssa and Lapia slapped my ass and laughed.

“You should get angry more often,” Lapia teased with a smirk.

I sighed and walked away.

After a minute or two of walking between trees, I heard liquid hitting the ground so I looked for the source.

The top of Hanna's head could be seen behind a bush a few meters to my right.

I walked to the other side of the bush and unfastened my pants, then whipped it out to pee. “Anything interesting happened?”

The Ork turned to me with wide eyes. “Your Excellency?!” She blurted out in a panic.

“My bad, were you in the zone?” I probed with a chuckle.

She looked down at her waist and then up at me. “The zone?” she repeated in confusion.

“When you pee and zone out,” I explained.

The Ork's cheeks turned darker and she nodded. “I think so, yes,” she replied. “I didn't hear you approach.”

I relaxed and let it flow out. “I see,” I sighed.

There was something odd about the situation.

In the middle of the forest, with a bush between us, Hanna was standing while peeing.

Then, it hit me.

“Sorry to ask,” I started. “Are you using one of those tools to pee while standing?”

Hanna's blushing cheeks turned even darker. “You could say that,” she muttered, but the shadow of a smile formed on her lips.

“Neat,” I praised. “Can I see it?.”

Her brown eyes met mine. “I don't think that's a good idea,” she politely replied with a tight smile.

Our pee flowed in the early morning. The heat formed small clouds that went off in the direction of the wind.

“Why not?” I insisted, curious about the tools women used in this world to pee while standing. “Come on, it's just seeing it. Can you show it to me... please?” I requested with puppy eyes.

Hanna frowned and looked down.

Her pee was slowly coming to a stop.

The Ork cleared her throat. “N-no,” she stammered out.

I nodded. “Fair,” I accepted her rejection. “I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

She tilted her head to the side and a tiny smile returned. “Uncomfortable?” she whispered to herself. “Not really.”

“It's okay,” I reassured her. “Using a tool to pee is perfectly normal, Hanna. I won't judge. I promise.”

“Don't mind it, Your Excellency,” she muttered, still looking down at her waist.

“Is it one of those disposable ones?” I probed. “If you don't mind me asking.”

The Ork bit her lips. “It's not disposable,” she replied with the same small smile.

I nodded. “You must take good care of it, then,” I hummed.

“I do,” she confirmed. “Does Your Excellency use the disposable ones?”

I tilted my head in confusion. “Ah,” I uttered, realizing her question. “No, I have a penis.”

Hanna's eyes widened to the absolute limit, her eyebrows almost fused with her hairline, and her mouth opened.

I was about to ask her if that made her uncomfortable, but the Ork used an arm to move the entire bush to the side.

Her eyes darted to my lower half, where I was holding my penis with one hand.

My curiosity won over the shock and surprise, and my eyes went for her crotch as well.

There, in her hand, around twenty centimeters long and four wide, was a blue penis.

My eyes widened to the limit as well. She's just like me! I thought and my mouth opened in shock.

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