I stood there, catatonic, not wanting to believe what was happening. How did Hinata find me? Why did he come looking for me? Questions were racing through my mind when I felt the brush of a hand on my shoulder. Startled, I jumped up and swung myself around, turning on defense mode.
"Whoa! Easy Tabitha!" Hinata stepped back a bit, with his hands up.
"Don't come near me!" I was scared. I didn't know what he wanted with me.
"Tabitha, I'm not going to hurt you! You can relax-"
"I don't want to hear it! I-I don't understand-why-why are you here?"
"You left without any warning, so I thought something happened-"
"BULLSHIT! You're a liar Hinata!"
"Ōgoe o dasanaide kudasai!"
"I can do whatever I want! I-I just don't understand why you're here!" I was so angry, which caused tears to stream down my face, "You lied to me! You're a liar and a cheater!"
Hinata stayed quiet this time. I glanced up at him, and just from the expression alone, I could tell what I had said was registering with him. I really liked Hinata. Loved him? I'm not sure, but during my time of darkness in Tokyo he took that loneliness away and made me look forward to going out.
Hinata spoke up, "Tabitha, can we go somewhere to talk?" I didn't think it was necessary to talk, but before I could say that Hinata grabbed my hand, "Please?" The look on his face was one of an old lost soul. He seemed to have aged since the last time I saw him. Even in the darkness, his wrinkles stuck out more and his once well-put-together look, had now seemed a bit rugged.
I nodded my head as he continued to hold onto my hand and we began walking down the street. His grip was tight, as if he knew if he let go I would run away, which I probably would.
The walk was short, less than 5 minutes away we had found a restaurant that was still open this late at night. They welcomed us in and sat us in an area where there were no other people eating. I had no appetite to eat anything, so I only ordered water. Hinata glared at me, "Nanka tabeta kata ga ī to omou yo."
"I'm not hungry."
"Iji (o ) haranaide kudasai yo." Even though the waiter could not understand what Hinata and I were arguing about, I could tell we were making him uncomfortable.
"Fine." I quickly glanced at the menu and looked back up at the waiter, "Just the veggie spring rolls please." The waiter bolted off with our orders and me and Hinata were left alone once again.
I had so much I wanted to tell him, but at the same time I felt he didn't deserve to hear any of it. My blood was boiling, and yet, there was a part of me that had a soft spot for him. Maybe that was because Hinata had a way of making me feel like I was the only girl in the world, of course that was a lie, however it still didn't change the fact that's how I felt when I was around him. Despite that, I hated him, and he knew this, nevertheless I could feel his eyes gazing upon me as though we were the only two people in this restaurant.
After what felt like an eternity, I could not stay quiet any longer. I drew in a silent breath and demanded answers from him, "How did you find me?"
Hinata's mouth started to form a grin, like he had some secret he was about to share.
"Tabitha, I know a lot of people, and not to seem rude, but you're not very good at keeping a low profile..." He was trying to hold back laughter, which pissed me off more.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I'm trying my best to keep an indoor voice, except he's making this really difficult for me.
He was looking so proud of himself, like he was preparing for an audience to come out and cheer him on. I could tell he was taking his sweet time on answering my question and he knew this was getting under my skin. I did not want to show it was bothering me, but I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeves.
"Can you please just answer my question?"
"Oh Tabitha..." He paused, looking around the room and came in closer with a whisper, "You and your model boyfriend."
Breathe Tabitha, breathe! Don't show him any kind of emotion, "So? He's just a friend."
"Ha! I'm sure the photos would say otherwise because you guys sure look cute together. He's younger too, right?"
My face was burning hot and my hands were beginning to clamp up. I don't want Hinata to know how much I care for Beam, or even worse, I don't want Hinata to hurt him. I don't know what he's capable of and I don't want to find out.
"So you came all the way here just for some photos?" Hinata's grin went away as he didn't seem to enjoy that remark. Good, that's what I want... To get under his skin instead.
"Hinata, regardless of the photos that you may have seen. We're not together anymore and we'll never be. I have a life here now that I'm enjoying and I don't plan on leaving it anytime soon so I'm not sure what your purpose is for being-"
"MY PURPOSE!" Hinata slammed his hand down on the table. I've never seen this side of him before and it was making me frightened! My face must've looked startled because Hinata quickly gained his composure again, "I'm sorry Tabitha! I didn't mean to scare you! My purpose though... Is to get you back."
"Umm, what?"
"I love you." If my jaw could've dropped to the floor like in the cartoons, it probably would've because what the fuck is he talking about? Love?
"You don't love me Hina-"
"BUT I DO! After you left, I didn't know what to do with myself! By now you know I was in a loveless marriage and-and I left her so I could be with you..."
This was all so overwhelming and I began to feel like I was about to faint. I could see Hinata's lips still moving, but I could not hear a word he was saying. I want to be gone from this situation. Why did I have to put myself in this? And then I felt his hand grab onto mine. I yanked it back and shouted, "STOP IT! Are you fucking delusional?"
Hinata looked shocked, as if I were the crazy one. Has he lost his mind? This wasn't the Hinata I knew from before. I had admired him because of his confidence, but this was different, he's erratic. I couldn't take this insanity any longer. I stood up from my chair and rummaged through my purse.
"Where are you going Tabitha?"
"I can't talk to you when you're like this! You're not making any sense!" I managed to find some loose change and threw it down onto the table, "Here's for the food! I'm leaving!"
"DON'T LEAVE!"
I didn't want to make more of a scene than we already had been, however I wanted to get as far away from Hinata as quickly as I could, so I picked up a brisk pace to get out of that restaurant.
Once I reached outside of the restaurant I started running. I was honestly so scared of Hinata and what he might do. I never thought of him to ever harm me, but with the mindset he was in, I'm afraid that he just might do that.
I heard the cry of my name being called out from behind me, "TABITHA!"
Don't look back! Just keep running! I could hear from a distance the sound of footfall catching up to me. "Keep running Tabitha" is what I told myself, but it was no use. Hinata was much faster than me and before I knew it, his arms were locked around me from behind.
"GET OFF ME!" I shouted as loud as I could, except there was no one around to hear me.
"STOP RESISTING ME TABITHA!"
I pushed and shoved with the strength I had left to get out of Hinata's hold. There was even one point where I turned around and smacked him, but it did not seem to phase him.
The weather had been rather humid all day and during that time of struggle, I began to feel tiny raindrops on my face. I always thought that rain was a bad omen and I had wished it wasn't happening at this very moment.
Once my strength had left my body, I resorted to the next thing I could think of, words. I grabbed Hinata's face, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?"
The tiny droplets of rain began to form bigger and faster, which started to cause any other noise to cancel out. At this point, Hinata and I were shouting at each other.
"I LOVE YOU TABITHA!"
"NO! NO YOU DON'T!"
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BELIEVE ME?"
"YOU HAVE A FAMILY! THEY LOVE YOU! YOU NEED-NEED TO GO BACK!"
Hinata still had me locked in his arms and I still had my hands placed on his cheeks. He looked scared and confused, I couldn't tell from the rain, but it looked like he was crying.
Hinata lowered his voice, along with his eyes, "You don't love me?"
"I-I liked you Hinata... A lot, but-but I-"
"JUST SAY IT!"
"I LOVE SOMEONE ELSE!"
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I did not want him knowing this, but I had no other choice. I didn't want to lie to him because I'm not a liar like he is.
Hinata dropped me from his arms and I took a few steps back. He stood there, looking down at the puddle that was forming in front of us.
"It's that model boy, isn't it?"
"Does it matter?"
He looked up at me, his eyes were intense like he was about to lose control any second.
"Hinata! Regardless if I love someone else, you and I could never be. You're a liar and a cheat! I'm not even sure why your wife decided to stay with you as long as she-"
Hinata had rushed over so quickly that I did not have time to dodge his hand that came hurtling towards my face.
My left cheek began flaring up and I could feel the heat spreading throughout the entire side of my face. I held my hand up against it, as though holding my hand would help relieve the pain I was feeling. I was astonished. I had never been hit by someone of the opposite sex, especially someone who you thought would never hurt you.
"Don't you fucking dare talk about my family! You know nothing!"
I didn't even care anymore. He can belittle me and hit me all he wants, if this means he'll go away then I'll take it!
"Tabitha... I-I I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! You know I would never do anything to hurt-"
"Please stop..."
"... You! You were just saying some really awful things and-and my anger-"
My head was facing towards the ground and with the heavy sounds of rain pouring, I knew Hinata couldn't hear me repeating the words, "Please stop." I had felt mentally and physically drained. I wanted no part of this, but I didn't know how to force Hinata to leave me alone. Should I just go back to Japan with him? If I were to go back to Japan, I'm pretty sure his wife would end up killing me. I don't want Beam getting involved in any of this, so I'm not sure what I should even do. I'm at the point of giving up and caving in with whatever Hinata wants me to do...
All of a sudden, I heard someone shouting in the distance. Puzzled, I slowly picked my head up and swiveled it around. Hinata was still talking and he didn't seem to notice my confusion or hear the shouting. I heard the shouting again, only this time I could make out more clearly on what was being said, "Tabi!" That sounds like Beam! My heart was racing! I looked at Hinata, he heard the shouting too.
I wanted to run after him and let him know that I was right here, but I knew Hinata wouldn't let me go.
"Well, it seems like your boyfriend found you..." Hinata sounded pissed. As happy as I was that Beam was nearby, I also felt a sense of dread. As the shouting got closer from behind me, every step Beam took was almost like he was running to his death. I couldn't let that happen. I needed to get to him first before Hinata did anything.
Without thinking, I turned around and began sprinting towards the sound of Beam's voice. It was raining hard and there weren't many street lights to help me find Beam.
"BEAM!" I yelled as loud as I could!
"BEAM!"
"TABI?" He wasn't far away! I didn't know if Hinata was following after me, but I did not want to stop and find out.
"BEAM!" Where was he? I could hear him, except I couldn't see anything! I was still running, almost out of breath when all of a sudden a street lamp turned on in the distance. Standing underneath that street lamp was Beam. He glanced up at the sudden light and looked around at his surroundings.
As exhausted as I was from running, seeing Beam standing there so close to me, I began smiling to myself. I ran so fast towards him that I was afraid he would disappear at any moment.
Beam must've heard the splashing of water because he started looking in my direction, putting his hand over his eyes to get a better look. Before he could even register it was me, I leapt towards him with my arms wide open.
This all felt like a dream, for some reason it felt like I would never see Beam ever again and that first embrace almost didn't feel real. I was holding onto Beam so tight and sobbing into his chest. All the weight in my body became heavy and I couldn't hold myself up any longer. As I began letting go of Beam, he pulled me right back up and held me into his arms.
"Tabi!"
"I-I I'm so sorry Beam! I--"
"Shh... It's okay! I'm here! I-I thought something... Something terrible happened to you..." He pushed me away from his chest, still with both hands on my shoulders, he stared down at me, "Why didn't you pick up your phone Tabi? You had me worried to death! I waited at your apartment and-and you never showed up! I-I didn't know what happened-I was so scared!"
Before I could explain to him what happened, Beam gave me a bewildered stare, "What happened to your face?"
I quickly shot my hand up to cover the marking Hinata had left me.
"Tabi what happened to your face?" Beam has gotten mad at me before, but this sounded more like a concerned parent about to lecture their child. Before I could explain, another voice shot up from behind me, "Sorry, but I hate to interrupt!" That was Hinata!
Beam looked over to where the voice was coming from, "H̄ı̂ c̄hạn ch̀wy xarị dị̂ b̂āng?"
Then Beam spoke up again, but with more annoyance in his voice, "Nī̀ pĕn reụ̄̀xng s̄̀wn bukhkhl ch̀wy xxk pị d̂wy!"
Beam had no clue who this person was walking up to us and I didn't want Hinata to come any closer, so I shouted at him, "Hottoite!"
"Watashi ni anata no kareshi o shōkai shite kuremasen ka?"
Beam was still holding onto me when he looked down towards me, "Tabi, do you know him?"
"She does!" Hinata answered before I could.
"We were actually very close in Japan. I'm surprised she never mentioned me to you-"
"Kutabare!"
"Tabitha, you don't need to be so mean to me in front of your friend!" Hinata sounded so pleased that he was pissing me off.
"Anyways, where was I? Oh yes! I'm Hinata... Tabitha and I were very close when she was living in Japan. She worked for me and... Well, let's just say we became more than friends-"
"SHUT UP HINATA! JUST GO AWAY!" This is not how I wanted Beam to find out about why I left Japan, but I knew I needed to act quickly.
I turned over to look at Beam. His attention was still on Hinata with his nostrils flaring up.
"Beam, look at me! Don't listen to him!" I couldn't tell if Beam was angry at me, and that scared me a lot. I didn't want to lose him too.
Abruptly, Beam let go of me and started walking towards Hinata.
"Beam! Wait!" Hinata was going to hurt him if he got any closer. I tried holding him back, but it was no use. Beam was much stronger than me and didn't even flinch when I tried pulling his arm back towards me.
Beam walked straight up to Hinata. I did not notice before, but Beam was taller than Hinata by a few inches.
I stood about 6 feet away from where Beam and Hinata were. I didn't know what was going to happen until Beam spoke up, "I understand that you knew Tabi back in Japan and you guys were once dating, but you aren't anymore. Whatever happened between you both, it's over. I'm with her now and I plan on keeping it that way..." I couldn't help but smile at what Beam had said. Even in the most serious of situations, I had never felt so relieved.
"... Tabi rarely talks about her time in Japan, which I'm assuming is because of you. So I don't fucking care who you are, just leave her alone. If you care about her at all, you'll never see or talk to her again."
Beam did not wait for Hinata to respond, he simply turned his back on him and walked over to me. Without stopping, Beam grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me along behind him. I was in awe with how serious Beam could be. I knew he was the quiet goofy type, but this was a whole side to him I had never seen before and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I had no intention of looking back at Hinata, except there was a part of me that felt the urge to. While still being dragged along by Beam, I hesitantly turned my head around to look at the man I once knew. I was expecting to see Hinata bum rushing towards Beam, ready to kill him, instead Hinata stood there with his head down, looking defeated. My heart aches for him, even after the way he treated me, it still hurts inside to see him like that, nevertheless there was nothing I could do to cure his sadness. The further I and Beam walked, the smaller Hinata's figure became, and at some moment I wanted to believe he lifted his head up and caught my gaze, but it was hard to tell in the darkness.
Just then, I felt my arm being tugged on. I swiftly turned my head to find myself meeting Beam's glare. I didn't know if I was going to cry or smile, except before I could react, Beam drew me in closer to his side with his hand letting go of my arm and reaching out to hold my hand instead.
With a long drawn out sigh, Beam finally spoke up, "Tabi..."
"Y-yes?"
A tiny smile appeared on Beam's face, "Let's go home."
A wave of relief washed over me. I know Beam had a lot more questions and lectures for me, but I'm just happy I'm walking back with him. This time I didn't have that urge to turn around. I faced onward and reached my free hand up to my chest, there I felt the cold band lying across in the usual place it had always been.
I whispered, while gripping the ring, "... Thank you James..."
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