Chapter 28: Epilogue

As we waited for our taxi outside of SFO, I looked over at Beam, who was already taking in all the sights.

"You know, there isn't much to see yet," I said with a chuckle.

"Shh! I need to savor the moment," he replied, closing his eyes and breathing in the California air.

I couldn't help but smile at Beam's enthusiasm, it was one of the things I liked about him. He always found joy in the little things and was able to make any situation an adventure. As we waited for our taxi to arrive, I took a moment to take in the scenery myself. The airport was bustling with people coming and going on their various travels, and it made me feel at ease that I had someone like Beam to share these experiences with. 

Once our taxi arrived, I had planned one stop before we started any of our activities in California. I knew this would be difficult for me, but it was important not only for me, but for Beam as well. I wanted him to meet someone special. 

I had always kept my past separate from my present life, but I knew that if Beam and I were going to build a future together, it was important for him to understand that this person was the reason why I met Beam in the first place. 

The drive was about 35 minutes and when we arrived at our destination, we could see that there were many people scattered throughout the lawn and hilltop. I asked the taxi driver if he could wait 30 minutes and he seemed to understand what was going on and said to take our time. 

I felt my nerves intensifying as we got closer and Beam must have sensed how quiet I was, because suddenly, I felt his hand locked in mine. "It's going to be okay," he said reassuringly. I gave a quick smile, just to let him know that I was okay. 

Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks and took a look down. "Beam, I want you to meet someone special," I said, my voice trembling. Beam inched closer and squatted to get a closer look. "Beam, this is James," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "James, this is Beam," I said, introducing them to one another.

We both were staring down at the gravestone that read: 

James Allen September 6, 1992 - November 23, 2024 A Beloved Son, Brother, & Husband

I was silent as I looked at James's gravestone. I couldn't help but feel tears starting to form as I looked down at it. I hadn't been here in what felt like an eternity. I was so lost in the pang of sadness when I heard Beam speak up. "It's nice to finally meet you, James. Tabi has told me a lot about you, and it seems like you loved her very much." 

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"Yes, he did," I said, my voice quietly. "He loved me very much."

Beam sat up and pulled me into a tight hug and I let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice muffled in his chest.

"For what?" he asked.

"For not coming here sooner, for not being able to move on."

"Shh, it's okay," he said, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "You don't have to be sorry. He will always hold a special place in your heart and that's okay. He was an important part of your life, and it's normal to grieve and remember him."

I pulled back and looked up at him. "Thank you," I said, my voice filled with appreciation. "For understanding and for being here with me."

"I will always be here for you," he said, and I knew that he meant it. 

I slowly pulled away from Beam, "I didn't even bring any flowers for him..." But before Beam could say anything, a thought occurred to me. "I actually do have something," I reached into the back pocket of my jeans and pulled out my phone. There it was, behind the phone case was a little yellow flower I had found on the ground during my first day in Thailand. I took the phone case off and grabbed it gently, making sure it wouldn't break in my fingers. I didn't have anything sticky on me that I could place it on, so instead I carefully stuck it under a prayer candle, ensuring that it would be visible to anyone who was close by.

As we stood there, I couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. I felt a sense of sadness and longing for the past, but also a sense of hope and excitement for the future. I knew that James would always hold a special place in my heart and that was okay. But now it was time for me to move forward and start a new chapter in my life.

Beam wrapped his arm around me, sensing my emotions. "Are you ready to go?" he asked softly. I looked up at him and smiled, nodding. I knew that with Beam by my side, I could face anything.

As we got back in the car, I couldn't help but feel grateful for his understanding and support. He knew that this was a difficult moment for me, but he was there to hold my hand and guide me through it. And now that we were leaving, I was ready to make these new memories with Beam and see what the future had in store for us.

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