Chapter 329: 338

   “Um, yeah…” I nodded and gave the adjacent seat to the man.

     This was the first time I wasn’t bothered by a stranger using informal speech with me. My heart beat so loudly I pressed at my chest, worried the man would hear. I couldn’t even talk to him properly.

     However, the man, now sitting down, followed up with a gentle question, “What were you doing?”

     “I-I’m just… I felt frustrated, so I was…walking.” I tried my best to respond to the man’s interest. As I spoke, I found myself rambling and losing track of my words–mostly because I was preoccupied with looking at the man’s face. But… the man listened to me patiently, without losing interest or focus.

     Even after I finished talking, the man’s gaze did not drop from me. He stared at my eyes, my cheeks…even the hand that pressed to my chest.

     While the man scanned my body, bit by bit, I awkwardly straightened my posture. Then, suddenly, it occurred to me that I didn’t know who this man was nor why he was here.

     “E-Excuse me, but…”

     “Yeah.”

     “Who are you? This is… Moon Issak’s house.”

     I didn’t know how to describe the expression the man made at that moment. Cold ridicule, anger, desolation, and melancholy all passed through the man’s face, one after another. In the end, he merely smiled calmly.

     Then, with a slightly cracked voice, he replied, “My name is Seo Dawon. I… live nearby.”

     “Huh…? Really?”

     Upon hearing the man’s response, I looked around. I couldn’t see any other buildings adjacent to the wall we were leaning against, but a few upscale villas were visible just one block away.

     Even so, there was something strange about him entering Moon Issak’s yard–especially since it was surrounded by a high fence, but…

     ‘Criminal… He doesn’t look like someone who would commit crimes.’

     He didn’t look like a man who would do anything bad. Besides, if the man wanted to harm me, he would have had enough time to do that by now.

     So, I relaxed a little as I spoke with him. There were questions I wanted to ask him earlier–questions that were circling my brain. “For some reason, I feel like I’ve heard your name before…”

     “……”

     “But, how pretty. Your name, too…”

     The problem, though, was that I had voiced out loud my true feelings. It was only after I saw the man’s lips twitch that I realized what I had said; shame violently overtook me.

     “Ah!, No… I mean…”

     “Thank you.” Fortunately, the man named ‘Seo Dawon’ smiled softly without bringing attention to my foolish words.

     When I saw his smile, I felt strange–like tears were welling up in my eyes. So, I took a deep breath to calm myself. Seo Dawon, without saying a word, looked at me as I sniffled. It was as if he knew exactly how I felt.

     But, it would be weird for me to cry suddenly, so I started to say whatever I could; I needed to focus on another topic to shake off this gloomy mood. “T-There was something in my eyes…”

     “……”

     “Cough, cough… By the way, how old are you?”

     “I’m the same age as you.”

     “Ahhh…Huh? How do you know my age?”

     “I just guessed,” Seo Dawon laughed.

     I was momentarily dazed at that sight before laughing alongside him.

* * *

     I was completely unaware of the flow of time as I talked with Seo Dawon. In addition to his extremely good looks, the man had the ability to make people feel at ease.

     At certain times throughout the conversation, my tears poured out uncontrollably, even though I couldn’t understand why. However, Seo Dawon didn’t even point that out or soothe my sobs. He just kept watch over me, which allowed me to shake off my despondency and speak more without crying any further.

     Seo Dawon showed deep interest in my words; his thoughtful attitude comforted me.

     “Does your…left hand hurt a lot?” he asked.

     “It hurts a little when it rains, but it’s okay now.”

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     “This hand… Did Moon Issak do this?”

     “Yeah… But I’m relieved. He said he thought about making me unable to use my legs, but held it in.”

     “……”

     “And, I think he’s become a little more generous these days?”

     “……”

     “I-In any case, it’s all my fault…”

     As I continued talking, Seo Dawon’s expression grew somber, but I kept laughing because I liked the way he gently stroked my left hand.

     Seo Dawon’s hands were excessively cold, as if he had Raynaud’s, 1 but, excluding the temperature, holding hands with him felt really good. Seo Dawon seemed to be aware of my feelings, since he continued to hold my hand.

     Then, upon seeing my fingers twitching due to a muscle spasm, Seo Dawon encouraged me to try and move them one by one. However, because the fingers had been severed and reattached, it had become quite challenging to move each one independently. Especially my fourth finger–it had been severed multiple times and had almost no sensation left.

     After hearing that, Seo Dawon didn’t ask me to try and move them anymore. He simply lifted my hand and gently pressed his lips against my fourth finger before closing his mouth around it. I found it quite ticklish, but I didn’t ask him to stop.

     As he continued to press his lips against my finger, he asked slowly, “Anywhere else besides your fingers?”

     “Hm?”

     “Does anywhere else hurt?”

     “Nope. I’m alright.” I placed a hand near Seo Dawon’s eyes. His skin was white and nearly transparent under his eyes, but, somehow, it felt as if the man was shedding tears.

     Tracing my finger over his dry cheek, I leaned closer to Seo Dawon. When I kissed his cheek, he didn’t pull away.

     This was my first time kissing a man I had just met, yet I strangely felt no repulsion. Instead, my heart happily throbbed as if it had wanted to do this for a long time.

Creaaakk–

     However, the moment our eyes met, I could hear the sound of Moon Issak’s car entering through the now-open gate.

     In that instant, as soon as I heard the sound, I returned to my senses and quickly stood up from my seat. Overwhelmed by rising fear, I had no choice but to push Seo Dawon aside.

     Without holding me back, Seo Dawon loosened his gentle grip on my hand.

     “Ah, the ring…” I ran towards the mansion, leaving Seo Dawon behind me. When I reached the door, I remembered the ring Moon Issak had given me earlier–the very same ring I angrily threw out the window.

     The headlights of the car in the parking lot had already been turned off. It wouldn’t take Moon Issak more than five minutes to exit the lot. My hands trembled with fear as I looked between the  darkened garden and parking lot.

     It was then–

     “Are you searching for this?” Seo Dawon’s voice–I had completely forgotten about his presence–rang out, startling me. When I turned around, he was holding out a silver ring. Moon Issak’s gift.

     Seo Dawon approached my stiffened self and gently held my left hand. He then slowly placed the ring on the ring finger of my left hand. I looked down at the ring, unsure if my trembles were from fear or excitement.

     However, something was strange.

     The ring Moon Issak had given me during the day was a simple engagement ring made entirely of diamonds. However, the ring that Seo Dawon handed me had diamonds that exuded a reddish hue which slowly faded away.

     When the light disappeared, the ring looked exactly like the ring I had abandoned earlier. Seo Dawon briefly kissed my forehead–which was furrowed in confusion–and whispered in a lowered voice, as if he were playing a prank, “It’s gone–without a trace, right?” 2

     “Huh?”

     “Moon Issak won’t notice.”

     “Ah.” I realized that Seo Dawon had helped me, and some of my extreme tension released. Seo Dawon placed his cold hands on my trembling shoulders and rubbed them a little.

     I could finally take a deep breath and calm down. However, that wasn’t the end. As I heard the sounds of Moon Issak’s footsteps approaching on the gravel path, Seo Dawon, with a smile on his face, promised me, “I’ll visit your room next time. When I knock on the door, open it for me.”

     Then, he gave a brief kiss to my parted lips as I was about to respond. I closed my eyes for a moment and opened them again, but unfortunately, the ecstatic sensation had disappointingly vanished in that short period of time.

     Like a dream one would have in the middle of the night.

Footnotes

Raynaud’s disease causes some areas of the body — such as fingers and toes — to feel numb and cold in response to cold temperatures or stress. In Raynaud’s disease, smaller arteries (or capillaries) that supply blood to the skin narrow, limiting blood flow and therefore heat circulation. The original, 감쪽같지 (it’s like a persimmon), is a bit hard to explain. It refers to something that disappears without a trace–like a small trinket or a pencil etc. Like magic. The etymology of the saying comes from how prized dried persimmons were in Korean folklore and Korean history. Basically, dried persimmons were sweet and delicious and used as treats to stop a crying child from crying. When the dried persimmon was eaten quickly so that there was no trace of it left, people would say 감쪽같다. Therefore, when things have disappeared, someone would say “it’s like a persimmon–gone.” 

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