New Life As An Ecchi Girl With A “Big Surprise”

Chapter 1: 1: After Death


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“Pardon?”

“I said, I want you to reincarnate me in a generic fantasy world with a game-like system as a voluptuous futanari succubus with big tits and irresistible smile.”

“Wh-wh… hah?” the blonde, scantily-clad goddess with full lips and giant tits appeared to be malfunctioning.

“You can’t do it?” the old man asked, disappointed. He thought the meaning of the goddess’s phrase “near-limitless possibilities for reincarnation” was pretty straightforward. The old man took a sip from the teacup the goddess offered him when he awoke in her garden, sitting at a round golden table, opposite of the goddess.

“I-I-I… What’s a futanari?” Luluna finally asked. Yes, the big-tittied goddess’s name was Luluna.

“You don’t know?” the old man, Simon, was legitimately surprised.

“Should I?”

“Everyone knows what’s a futanari!”

“They do?”

“Well, if they don’t know, they should!”

“Should they?” Luluna raised her eyebrow and took a sip from her porcelain cup. “I don’t know, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on something.”

“Oh, but you are,” Simon smiled imagining the busty goddess with a dick, fucking her twin sister, then spraying her load all over those gigantic cow tits.

“I don’t have a twin sister!” Luluna shouted slamming her teacup against the table, breaking it to pieces. Some of the tea sprayed on her pure white dress. It didn’t escape his attention that the goddesses’ cheeks were as red as a beetroot.

“That’s too bad,” Simon smiled, noting to himself that the goddess was capable of—at the very least—peeking into his imagination. But how could he control himself? Each time he looked at Luluna’s natural bosom, he wanted to titty-fuck her. To think that I died without experiencing something like that at least once! Holding her breasts tightly together… My hands would probably sink into her—

“Stop that!” Luluna waved both her hands in front of her. “That’s it! Clairvoyance, OFF!”

“Ok-ok, I’m sorry,” Simon chuckled.

“You have no shame!” Luluna frowned. “Every time it’s the same thing! So what that I have big breasts! Did you know that I finished top of my class in worldbuilding?”

“Alright, I get it! I really am sorry,” he apologized, sincerely worrying that he hurt the goddesses’ feelings.

It probably does get pretty annoying, if all of this blonde’s interactions with perverts like me end up with her seeing images of being ravaged in all kinds of degrading ways. Simon was also thankful that humans never developed any mind-reading abilities in his lifetime… Where were we? Oh, right!

“As I was trying to explain,” Simon continued. “A futanari is a sexy girl of legal, consent-giving age with a functioning dick!” he explained the obvious to a goddess that—honestly—should have known better. “Sometimes a futanari also has a pussy, sometimes just a dick. Usually, if a futanari has only a dick, then she also has balls, but if she has a pussy, then the dick is usually an extension of her clitoris. Though, of course, a futanari can also have all three: dick, balls, and pussy.”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” the goddess said weakly with disgust on her face.

True, she does look a little pale, but what does she have to be disgusted about? I think it’s pretty sexy for a smoking hot woman to have a dick to fuck another girl with and fill her up with semen, that—

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Simon smacked his fist against the palm of his old wrinkly hand. “Make sure to give me a skill that allows me to choose when my cum can impregnate the women I’m fucking!”

“A skill?”

“Yes, a skill!” Simon snapped back at the useless goddess. “Didn’t I mention a game-like system? You’re a goddess, aren’t you? How can you not know these things? Role-playing games with systems, skills, health points have been part of our world since the last century!”

“I… I’m sorry—I’ve just recently been promoted to this job,” Luluna apologized, all flustered. “And I haven’t gotten such a strange request yet.”

“How many people have you offered reincarnation to so far?” Simon asked out of curiosity.

“Only three,” Luluna lowered her head.

“And what did they choose?”

“Well,” Luluna looked away, stalling her answer. “One of them wanted to reincarnate as a talented actor that would become a star as a child.”

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“Boooring,” the old man rolled his dim eyes.

“The other one wished to be reincarnated within a family where he would have three younger and three older open-minded, perverted sisters…”

Simon whistled, impressed with his predecessor’s choice.

“And the third one?” he asked.

“He asked to be reincarnated as a hot nympho girl that was immune to STDs and had no gag reflex,” Luluna mumbled, lowering her head even lower.

“Well, obviously, my world must not have any STDs at all,” Simon said, grateful for the reminder.

“But why a girl with? And with a… A penis?” Luluna asked.

“Because girls are hot! And I want to be hot! But I also want to fuck other girls! And a lot of them! Petite ones, voluptuous ones, MILFs and their daughters, princesses and their sisters… If I see a hot girl with a nice ass, I want to bend her over and fuck her right there. And I want all of them to love it and beg for more!”

“Did… Did you never grow up?”

“I thought I grew up,” the old man said. “I thought that such depraved fantasies were beneath me. All my life I lied to myself.”

Luluna shook her head and then slapped her cheeks twice. To regain composure? To wake up?

“Listen, you were a brilliant researcher,” the goddess said, trying to redirect the conversation. “I mean, you found a cure for cancer! And you were a loyal husband! A father to three beautiful daughters. A man who was respected, who—”

“Regretted his life choices on his death bed,” Simon finished the goddess’s sentence properly. “I only did those things because it was the “right” thing to do. I didn’t cheat because it was the “right” thing to do. I wasted the best years of my life studying and working instead of partying and fucking hot chicks.”

“But your work was revolutionary!” the goddess kept pestering him, reminding the old man of his past life. “You saved hundreds of thousands of lives! Your name will be recorded in the annals of history! You will be remembered for—”

“I DIED REGRETTING MY LIFE!!” Simon shouted at the top of my lungs, letting out his repressed feelings. “Do you really think I cared about what I did for humanity when I was lying in my own shit, weak and in pain, realizing that I never once had a threesome!? Do you really think I care that some ungrateful imbeciles might stumble upon my name in Wikipedia a hundred years from now while my corpse rots away six feet under!? And that’s assuming they’ll finally start human trials now that I’m dead and can’t profit from my own research! By the time they’re done with it, my name most likely will be nowhere near the final product!

“I’m making a difference”, “I’ll be remembered for this”, “I’m a good family man”—It’s the kind of bullshit I used to tell myself during those long, lonely nights in the lab, while my colleagues were high on drugs, screwing barely legal teenagers!”

Simon spat to the side, into the lush grass, disgusted with himself. “I wasn’t honorable or a great man. I was a fraud! A coward who didn’t have the guts to tell his wife he wanted to leave her a long time ago! Eventually, I escaped into my work completely, comforting myself with fantasies of fame and glory. In the end, I was denied even that…”

Simon chuckled and realized that his eyes were wet.

“That is true—in the human world you will finally gain the recognition you deserve long after your death,” Luluna said somberly. “But here, in the higher realm, you are recognized for your work! Karma cares not for fame, glory, or intentions. Only hard work and the end result matter. And your soul has extraordinary potential for great things! Even though your memories will be erased, even though you might face countless hardships, souls like yours are needed for—”

“No! Please! Don’t send me back into that meat grinder!” Simon pleaded. “Losing my memories… Learning nothing from all of my regrets and suffering? Wouldn’t I end up making the same mistakes again?”

“No life is the same as another,” Luluna said. “But for a soul to achieve great things, sacrifices—”

“No!” Simon shouted. “I’ve sacrificed enough for one lifetime! Do you have any idea what I went through in the last years of my life? The crushing weight of soul-ripping regrets?”

“If it was so horrible, why not erase all those painful memories and start over?” Luluna asked.

“Have you ever had to lie to someone on their death bed by saying “I love you”?” Simon asked. “Just because you were too big of a coward to break their heart early enough to give them a chance to find someone who would have truly loved them?”

“I can’t say I have,” Luluna said quietly.

“I am the only one who knows. If you erase my memories, then it might as well never had happened. But it did! I know! And I don’t want to forget that! Even those horrible last years of my life, they were mine! No matter how painful… To forget everything… To erase everything... Erase me? When I finally know what I truly desire? For what? Another round of noble sacrifice? What was so noble about it? Call me selfish, evil, or a monster but I want none of it! If my work really was recognized here for something, I want to cash out that karma for all it’s worth and drown myself in wish-fulfillment and carnal pleasures!”

Luluna sighed and said, “While that is possible—I must warn you, if you choose to tarnish and debase your soul to such extents as you propose, we will not meet again.”

Simon took a deep breath and said, “I am who I am right now. And right now, finally, I choose to be true to myself!”

“Very well,” Luluna closed her eyes and waved her arm in a large arc. Bright, sparkly light followed her hand. “Let us see about this world you wish for…”

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