New Life As An Ecchi Girl With A “Big Surprise”

Chapter 570: 567: The Wall


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“Brittany…” Remi uttered quietly while looking at the blonde’s minced remains in disbelief at what just happened. Remi had no affection for the blonde, but even so this was just too sudden.

“Casually adding another one to your long list,” Samira said and lifted her arm, pointing the palm of her hand at Brittany’s remains. A red and black misty aura emerged from the mangled corpse and flew toward Samira’s hand.

“It was self-defense,” Mary shrugged while Samira absorbed the aura directly through the skin of her hand. “You’re the one that let that white rodent loose so take some responsibility yourself!”

Samira took her top hat and reached into its bottomless darkness once again.

“Fine! Bring it on!”  Mary shouted and got into a combat stance, summoning a fiery magical sword once again. “About time you got brought down a peg!”

Samira scoffed and made another pull out of her top hat. This time the head she pulled had no hair. Samira had to sink her nails into the scalp of the big, fat head to pull it out of the narrow opening.

Meanwhile, fiery wings appeared on Mary’s back and grew in size along with her sword as Mary prepared to strike down the next summon as soon as it was finished.

The head of the summon was squashed unnaturally as it came out of the hat; combined with the lifeless eyes it made for a ghastly sight. Slowly, it took shape as more and more of its body was pulled out of the bottomless hat. The size of the pulled naked body was preposterous; its fat layers already hit the ground before it even was half-way out.

“Oh… Gods…” Remi recognized this summon too. The only comfort was that since he appeared out of the Harbinger’s hat meant that he was no longer among the living. But that comfort paled in comparison to the horror of seeing her morbidly obese captain naked. “Captain Grizwald?”

Even on his side Grizwald was nearly as tall as he was wide, completely hiding Samira behind his body. As Grizwald struggled to get on his feet, Mary’s fiery wings grew bigger than her. Even her brightly burning sword was now unwieldly large.

“Mistress, be careful, his fat—”

“Fuck off, you fat fuck!” Mary screamed and swung her blade, unleashing a blazing storm in Grizwald’s general direction.

The flames lit everything in their path on fire and consumed Grizwald.

“Heh,” Mary managed a tired smile as she looked at the raging fire where Samira and her summon used to be. “That’s what you get for underestimating me, fucking bitch. Maybe I’ll pull you out of a hat someday.”

The fire wings on Mary’s back died out and her sword evaporated. Mary looked at Remi and said, “Get up. I’ll have to tell mother what happened here.”

Remi slowly stood up; her eyes fixed on Brittany’s bloody remains.

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“Don’t worry—I’ll get you another fuck toy at the palace,” Mary said. “Maybe Samira’s lackeys if they’re dumb enough to stick around after what happened. What did they know? Yes, I’ll enjoy watching you fuck the information out of those pieces of shit.”

“Don’t count on it,” Samira said.

“WHAT!?” Mary turned around and saw Samira walk from behind the giant wall of flesh that was Grizwald.

“Oh, no!” Remi gasped.

Grizwald’s body was completely unscathed by the fire, except for the fact that he no longer had a head. But just when Mary noticed that fact, Grizwald strained himself like he was a bout to make a dumb and his head popped back up where it used to be. Lifeless eyes, flat expression, but otherwise unharmed.

“His many layers of fat provide for an absolute defense,” Remi said. “His head is his only weak point. His offensive capabilities might not be as high as Captain Flavna’s, but he has never been defeated in combat.”

“If he came out of Samira’s shitty hat, that means he was defeated, because he’s dead!” Mary shouted.

“Hut be careful of his grease,” Remi warned Mary.

“His what?” Mary looked at Remi.

“Grease,” Remi repeated. “In the depths of his folds Grizwald secretes his fat and emulsifies it with sweat, creating a grease so potent that it paralyzes upon contact from sheer disgust.”

While Remi explained, Grizwald swiped his hand between his belly folds, pulled out a greasy lump, and instantly flung it at Mary with great speed.

“Huh—?” Mary looked just in time to catch Grizwald’s grease with her face.

“UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

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