Chapter 23: Volume 1 - CH 5.3

He drove back into the unfinished multi-story building, noting absently that the Essex had started to make an odd noise. The moment he had arrived in front of the building, he had been struck by the uncanny silence that now surrounded it – a massive difference from how it had been before.

The men who had been still standing when he left earlier now lay sprawled on the ground. The barrier drawn onto the floor was gone without a trace. Only the signs of destruction remained…no, there were more now. Seymour suspected that the remaining men had tried and failed to stop Lumi regenerating. Something had struck the ground with great force, resulting in cracks that seemed to have rippled out from the point of impact like a spiderweb. The barrier that had been drawn in holy water had probably collapsed because of them.

And in the middle of it all stood Lumi Spike. Her clothes were a mess after having been shredded to pieces by bullets, but there was not a single injury visible on her body. Her beauty, all the more striking in contrast with the destruction that surrounded her, seared itself into Seymour’s mind, painting her as the personification of horror itself.

“…….Everything okay?”

“They’re not dead.”

Even though he was asking after her, she answered for the men around her instead. She hadn’t killed them. She hadn’t felt threatened enough to do so. Seymour briefly wondered what it would take to push her to that point, but quickly put it out of his mind. For now the threat of her being attacked again had passed, and that was all that mattered to Seymour.

“This and that happened, and apparently the Murder Inc wanted to kill you.”

“Yes. I thoroughly experienced that with my own body.”

“I got rid of the tool that’s apparently necessary to kill you just now.”

“I see.” Lumi agreed, not even a fraction of concern present in her tone.

He was a little shocked at her indifference, but upon realizing what he was feeling, Seymour smiled bitterly, asking himself if he had really believed he’d be able to receive some words of gratitude or even a kiss from her this late in the game.

He thrust his hands into his pockets, and shook his head.

“I don’t know how things work for you people, but wouldn’t it be better to leave this city?”

“………Leave?”

“Yep, leave. Now that you’re being targeted by the Murder Inc., it’ll be impossible to live in peace in this city, won’t it? Wouldn’t it be smarter to run away for now and start over somewhere new?” Seymour asked as he put a cigarette in his mouth.

Probably because he’d done so many things he wasn’t used to doing, a terrible fatigue settled over him. Noticing that his fingers were trembling, he gave up on lighting the cigarette for the moment. As a man he didn’t want to show her the uncool appearance of him trying and failing to light a match because of his shaking hands.

Thus he simply lifted his gaze. Lumi’s eyes were clouded with what was clearly a mix of feelings as she stared at him. This startled Seymour somewhat. He had assumed that he was nothing more than a mob character for her, and wouldn’t have thought it weird even if she had disappeared in the short moment he took his eyes off her.

Lumi’s hand tugged at what remained of her sleeves for a moment. That movement also added to his vague sense of discomfort.

“Mr. Seymour, are you────” Her voice was shaking terribly. “Mr. Seymour, are you going to come with me?”

“Huh?”

“With me────”

Seymour tilted his head in confusion.

“Why?”

The question was extremely simple and because of that, it just slipped out of his mouth.

“I mean, I’m a courier for this city. Sure, it looks like the pandemonium this time will probably have some consequences, but well, I’ll manage one way or the other. So I’ll remain here.”

“────”

“It’s okay. I’m sure someone like you can survive anywhere by herself. Just like you’ve always done up until now.” Seymour mentioned it as a parting gift.

A monster that had always been alone would be able to survive alone in the future just as well. He was certain that this fact would become a comfort to her when she left this city. Leaving aside the question of whether she actually wanted to be comforted in the first place.

However, Lumi ended up casting her eyes down in response.

“………y.”

“Did you say something?”

“……………………w-why?”

It was at that moment that Seymour, whose mind had been clouded by fatigue and the exhilaration of the chase, registered Lumi’s abnormal state. Though, it was far too late for anything.

Why was Lumi here? Did she wait for Seymour? This fact, that he had not even realized that he should have questioned, let alone understand the full implications behind, hit him with all the force of a truck.

“Why, why, why, why?”

Lumi vanished into thin air.

“────────WHY!?”

Immediately following that, a force slammed into Seymour. A fierce heat welled up within him, and Seymour broke into a violent coughing fit.

Lumi was right in front of his eyes. Even though he should be able to see all of her, her right hand was missing. No, that was wrong, it was within his visual field.

Her right arm was stretched out towards Seymour’s chest, however the hand at the end of it wasn’t visible. After all, it was deeply embedded in Seymour’s chest. Lumi’s right hand had pierced through Seymour’s chest.

“Eh?” He muttered, coughing.

Large amounts of blood spilled out of his mouth, and his body swayed giddily.

But, Seymour didn’t collapse. Lumi had stuck her right hand into his body, and was holding something within him, supporting his body’s weight as a result.

The thing she held in a vice-grip pulsed. It was his heart.

“Why…are you saying something like that?”

Her anguished face was a breath away from his. Tears had welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment.

It’s me who wants to cry here.

The white-hot pain of her holding his heart with her bare hand consumed his mind. He coughed and more blood came pouring out of his mouth, splashing all over Lumi. Her hair, face, and body became bright red.

Seeing the blood on Lumi brought up a memory. At the same time, Seymour finally realized the true nature of the uncomfortable feeling plaguing him.

“Why…are you…saying something like that?”

Pain colored Lumi’s eyes. Her body was not injured in any way, and as such, she shouldn’t be feeling any pain. And yet, she was on the verge of crying, her face cramped up as if she were deeply hurt. There was something deep down in her eyes.

Empathy.

Something Lumi Spike the monster wasn’t supposed to possess. Even though she was a monster precisely because of the fact that she didn’t think of humans as people, she was definitely grieving over Seymour’s current ailing state right now.

Seymour’s blood ran down her face into her eyes. It mixed with the tears in her eyes, until she couldn’t hold them back anymore and they ran down her face in fat rivulets.

“D-Despite d-doing this t-to me!”

A pained scream tore its way out of her throat.

Despite the all-consuming pain, his brain recalled a single remark. A throwaway aphorism from the tobacconist girl.

『People create stories by connecting facts』

Have I ever considered what kind of facts I allow others to see?

Lumi’s crimson figure flashed through his mind. A girl who had been created by the world and had made a living as a hitman without any family to support her, unable to and never relying on anyone. Any relationships she would have built would doubtlessly require her to hide the truth of her nature, and the Murder Inc., the only ones who knew she was a vampire, was an organization capable of discarding her at a moment’s notice.

She was a being that existed all by herself in this world. And yet, they had splashed the paint that day. The red paint, which exploded in the garage instead of a bomb, ended up becoming a connection between Seymour and Lumi. 2 Dollars and 42 cents had poured down on two souls who were all alone in the world.

Seymour had accepted her being a vampire. He had built their relationship on this acceptance. On top of knowing that Lumi Spike was a vampire, he chose to spend time with her, and also her vampiric nature.

For Seymour, that was purely out of desperation, recklessness, and a fairly suicidal mindset, but that wasn’t what Lumi saw. All she knew was that Seymour Road had extended a helping hand to a monster that couldn’t build any real relationships. He had ended up assuring Lumi Spike the monster that she had a right to live.

Those were the facts she knew.

And so she had created her own story using that as its starting point.

Seymour recalled her repeated murders that slowly drifted further and further away from the goals of Murder Inc. Now, with everything he knew, he could also think of a reason for that. He suspected that his death had been part of the Murder Inc.’s greater plan. That the only reason he had been allowed to live on even after Isaac Nigel’s death had been because the information he still possessed was beneficial for the organization.

And thus Lumi had tried to do something about it. The objective of her repeated murders was to demonstrate his continued value for the organization. The more people she killed using Seymour’s information, the more valuable he’d become for the organization. Murder Inc. would be less and less inclined to kill Seymour Road.

Seymour assumed that had been her train of thought. It was a childish, simple weighing of losses and gains. And at its end rested her elimination by the organization.

As if she had wanted more of the warmth that had passed between them through their joined hands in the past, she’d seized his heart.

“E-Even though I-I could have remained a monster, if…if you hadn’t been there! Even though you taught me about humans!”

She had formed a relationship with a human. She had recognized that humans were not all that different from her. Seymour was sure that there was no way she could return to being no more than a monster after the day of the crimson shower.

In that case. The number of humans she’s killed so far must be in the hundreds, or even thousands. It’s got to be such a high number that keeping count of them wouldn’t even mean anything anymore. But, the instant she learned about humans and was thus released from her isolation, she was confronted with a sin she couldn’t atone for. Understanding that the countless beings she had previously crushed underfoot without a care had the same value as the stupid man in front of her was an unresolvable tragedy for Lumi Spike and a hilarious comedy for any outsider.

“What to do? I…having been in such a situation, even without knowing anything…what should I do?”

Maybe because his heart, which was still in her powerful grip, was approaching its limit, or maybe because he’d already lost too much blood; Seymour’s thinking gradually became duller, and his consciousness began to fade.

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Despite being on the verge of killing him, Lumi clung to Seymour who was on the verge of death. It was the manifestation of Lumi’s conflicting desire to save what she was killing with her own hands. It was a contradiction that was likely an integral part of Lumi Spike now that she’d been broken by Seymour.

“Killing is wrong…not killing is also wrong…I didn’t know a way out anymore…so I thought it’d be fine for me to get killed, and yet…!”

She had fallen straight into hell at the moment she understood humanity. Seymour understood that the weight of the sins she had unknowingly accumulated must have been so devastating that she even chose death over it. And yet, despite all that, she had had to kill more people. For the sake of rescuing Seymour Road from the clutches of Murder Inc., and at the same time, for the sake of being killed by Murder Inc. at the end of that road.

Seymour wondered how heavy her heart had become with each new murder, now that she was aware of the tremendous weight of her sins. And there was no doubt that it had been Seymour who had tossed her into that hell.

“Mr. Seymour, please…kill me. Please…allow me to kill you. Please, tell me what I should do. I…I am──────”

“──────” Seymour attempted to say something.

But, he couldn’t think of any words that would be appropriate here. And even if he tried to put his thoughts into words, he didn’t have the strength to voice them.

Blood trickled seemingly endless from the holes in his chest and beneath his nose. His body had already become unbearably cold. He didn’t think he had the energy to utter a single word before he lost consciousness. His heart had run out of strength.

Lumi propped up Seymour’s body just as his knees began to buckle.

“Mr. Seymour!”

Knowing that this kindness, which gave birth to the worry that caused her to care about him above all else, was the main reason she had been thrust into this hell, Seymour could only laugh helplessly.

What’s Lumi going to do if I die? Maybe she will simply stand here until the sun reaches this spot and follow me into death. Or maybe she’s going to pretend to be a monster once more, continuing to kill until she is killed in return. I can’t tell which it’ll be, but neither changes the fact that there is only hell awaiting her no matter which she chooses. What I truly regret is that not only is she stuck on a path that leads only to hell, I am on an equally inescapable path away from her after putting her there.

“────────Yeah.”

Even though he was in such a situation, Seymour believed her to be beautiful. Despite her crying, despite the blood coating her, and despite her being on the verge of breaking apart, none of it affected the impression he had formed of her from the first moment they had met: that she was a devastatingly beautiful girl.

What can I do to make her laugh?

The fact that this was the last thing he could think of caused him to laugh at himself instead.

I guess a man, who lives his life frivolously, will ultimately die frivolously. What should I do──────

“…………”

──────His heart thumped powerfully once.

Suddenly, an idea struck him. His heart wasn’t beating because of some wonderful, mysterious power, but simply because his idea had him questioning his own mind, trying to come up with a reason for why now of all times and the sheer ridiculousness of it all. And to a lesser extent out of embarrassment.

His heart thumped powerfully once more.

“…………Hey, Lumi.”

“Mr. Seymour!”

“Let’s abstain………from both………”

It was probably a good thing he was on the verge of death. Otherwise, his face would be bright red right now, he was certain. He was truly glad that all the blood that could have risen to his face had already spilled out through all his openings.

I have to somehow make sure that this kind-hearted, and above all else, beautiful monster girl, who’s bound to fall into hell and whom I broke, manages to survive one way or another. Even if she has committed atrocious crimes, she mustn’t die just because she has realized the weight of her sins. I must tell her that the path of her life was not just composed of sins, but also of other things.

That was Seymour’s responsibility, duty, and joy, or in other words, his fate. Seymour desperately spun his next words, not to die or kill, but solely for the sake of saving her.

“Lumi, let’s live together.”

“────”

‘It sounded almost like a confession.

He thought, and immediately dismissed the thought from his mind.

“I…love you.”

Those were simple, plain words of confessing one’s love.

“B-But, I have to kill in order to stay alive…”

“Killing is out. You’re not allowed to kill people.”

He could see fear beginning to take over in the depths of her eyes.

In order to truly commit to not killing people, you have to first think of the countless lives you’ve already extinguished.

Seymour saw that she understood and feared the gravity of that.

“Fi-…gures. Facing it, you see, will be absurdly tiresome. To the point that you won’t want to live on.”

“Then────”

“────But.”

He wondered if he was still capable of smiling.

“It’ll be tiresome, but you know, you’ll live on by facing your sins and bearing that burden, without dying and without killing. If you do, if you do all that────”

He wondered if he had enough energy to smile enough for her to accept his words of love.

“────I can stay with you. As long as you do that, I’ll be at your side.”

Seymour coughed violently after finishing his speech. He frantically tried to swallow down the blood that was trying to spill out of his mouth, but he had a feeling that it would just leave through his chest wound instead.

“As long as you stay with me, you’ll experience nice things.” He desperately fumbled for the right words within his muddy mind.

Words that would make Lumi Spike consider living on. Words that would convince her that living with Seymour Road would be a worthwhile endeavor for her.

“Hey, I’m quite the looker, don’t you think?”

“────”

“And, I have a place to call home.”

“────”

“I’m a good conversationalist, too.”

“────”

“I’m actually capable of doing house chores, too.”

The last line caused Lumi to laugh lightly. It sounded more like a convulsive sob as tears continued to stream out of her eyes without any sign of stopping, but Seymour was sure that she had laughed just now.

Lumi pouted, her face still a teary mess.

“M-Mr. Seymour, you’re just saying that, aren’t you? You’ve probably never even tried……!?”

“You sure? Then I’ll show you my awesome cleaning skills next time.”

Another coughing fit. However, he couldn’t tell if he’d coughed in order to hide his embarrassment or if it was his body rebelling against him.

“Look, I’ve also got my own car.”

“Yeah, that’s true……”

“I’m skilled at driving.”

“Well actually, it’s a rather rough way of driving………!”

“I’ve got many friends, too.”

“They’re all girls, though………!”

Also, he tried to think of more of his merits. Trying to prove his own value.

It’s not enough. I need something more striking to give her a reason to keep on living, to let me be at her side, and for Lumi Spike to believe that living on is the best option,’ he felt. But I think that’s it, I’m hollow. There’s no more to me that couldn’t be scooped out in two handfuls.

Seymour floundered, examining all kinds of aspects of himself. Finally he added just one last thing from within himself, from under the frankly ridiculous amount of layers of pretension that he had built up.

“Besides, I’m good at making hot chocolate.”

That was all he had to offer. It was everything of value to the man called Seymour Road, and he was sure it’d be enough. Having truly reached his limit, Seymour let go of his consciousness. Even as all his powers of thinking splintered and faded, he still continued staring at Lumi alone, and what he saw at the very end was her smile.

“────That’s very lovely.”

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