Chapter 2: 1.1

1st Period: We are going to Tokyo

Tamo Agriculture and Forestry High School in Gifu Prefecture. This is the school I go to.

“Stealing vegetables is grounds for suspension. Stealing a cow will get you expelled.” These are real rules at this agricultural high school that is celebrating its 100th anniversary this year.

“Ugh… it’s been a terrible morning.”

After finishing our morning duties, we changed from our work uniforms to our school uniforms and headed to classroom 2A. I was miraculously still intact.

“Nooo, Gokuro-san Gokuro-san. Can’t you take a proper picture of Kosaku’s gallant figure with this digital camera. Look! Take a beautiful picture. Do it!”

This is Minori Nakazawa. She’s the country girl who handed me her T-shirt which made the bull chase me. If she were to get a cliché stereotype she’d be the ‘caring childhood friend’. She was from the same village as me. Our parents’ houses were next to each other, so she’s almost like a sister to me. That’s why she doesn’t have any reservations around me, and it drives me crazy. She even has a weird ‘kera kera’ laugh. She’s a demon.

“It’s true that the previous cultivation efforts were a success. The livestock guys said they will deliver the chicken and eggs to the dormitory later.”

This handsome boy in glasses is Kei Kamatori. The best stereotype for him would be the ‘reliable best friend’ if I had to pick one. We’ve only known each other since we entered this school, but it feels like we’ve been best friends for a long time.

The 3 of us live together in a dormitory by the way. Oh, I almost forgot. My name is Kosaku Hata. I’m a nice boy and a natural leader, who also serves as the class representative and dormitory manager of 2-A!

“By the way. Have you both filled out the desired career questionnaire yet?”

“Ah, that’s right. I did it earlier today. I completed it but couldn’t hand it in.”

I turn away from my childhood friend who is not the brightest, and to my best friend to ask, “Kei, are you going to continue studying?”

“Hmm. I’m still considering it. I’m thinking of trying to get into the agricultural department at some university for the time being.”

Yeah. As expected of Kei. Even though this guy has the brains to get into any high school with ease, he chose this school because he wanted to be a farmer! It’s a completely different story with me. I entered agriculture school because my family has a ‘family farm’.

“Never mind me, what about you Kosaku?”

“I’m also going to continue my studies.”

“Oh.”

“Ehhh… You are going to try to get into a college…?”

“….What does that mean Minori? Are you saying that I shouldn’t go to college?”

“Not really…? Since it’s you, I’m wondering if you decided to go for some random reason like ‘My friends are going to college!’”

“No way! I chose my school with proper consideration for my future!”

“Ha! That’s a lie.”

“Fufufu. Well if you are going to be so cocky then I’ll show you some evidence…”

As I take the questionnaire out to show I say, “The school I want to go to is…here!”

<<First Choice>> Furikoshi Academy High School

“…I don’t think anyone has ever written a high school as their first choice of a post high school questionnaire…”

“What an idiot! You’re such a freaking idiot!”

“Hey! Don’t make fun of people’s dreams!”

I’m serious about this!

“Look! I’m collecting what I need for a transfer. I’ve even started studying for entrance exams!”

“…”

“W..what the heck are with those sympathetic looking eyes?! Don’t look at me! You two, stop looking at me like that…”

I lay my head on my desk and cry. I know! I know it’s impossible for me!

Kei takes pity on me and calls out to me. “Kosaku… You really like that idol don’t you? What was her name?”

“Yuka Kusakabe”

“Right! What’s so great about her?”

“HER BRIGHT EYES ARE CUTE, HER MOUTH THAT LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE DUCK, HER EYEBROWS ARE CUTE, SHE HAS A CAREFREE SMILE AND A GRACEFUL AURA…”

“O..OK. Enough … enough…”

“Well? Is that all?”

Are those the only things that have made me fall in love with Yuka-tan?

“B..but that’s not good right?! No matter how much Kei urges you, you can’t give up on Yuka-tan!”

“But I don’t think I want to…”

“What did you say you bastard?!”

“Hold on a second Kosaku! Kei is in trouble!”

“I’m the one in trouble!”

She’s ecstatic about my anguish of being caught between love and friendship!

“What’s wrong with you!? Instead of being a simp why don’t you think about your career path!”

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“If you are so mature about this you must have wrote something great on yours! Give me your questionnaire!”

“Naturally… I wrote it right here…”

Minori takes her questionnaire out of her shoe and flaps it under my nose. It’s annoying…

“Hmmm. Are you going to college? Are you looking for a job?”

“Uh? I.. I’ll get a job? Probably?”

“Oh. With what kind of company?”

“W..what kind of… um.. do you mean like a private company… or the service industry?”

…There’s something suspicious about this.

“Show me!”

“Ah! What are you doing?!”

I look at the questionnaire with Kei.

<<First Choice>> Bride (Heart)

“………..Well, being a wife is a full time job if you ask most women….”

“What an idiot! You’re a freaking idiot!”

“I’m not an idiot! This is permanent employment!”, Minori argued with a bright red face.

But no matter how you look at it, no matter how you think about it, no one but an idiot would make their 3 career choices ‘bride’, ‘wife’, and ‘house wife’.

“What the hell! It wouldn’t hurt anyone if I was a bride right?”

“The husband.”

“Ffffuuuu..”

Just then the classroom door bursts open, in walks a female student. She has huge breasts.

“Hey! You guys are way too noisy!”

She strides into the classroom with her chest bouncing and gives the three of us a look of contempt.

“Hmm… you know who was probably making a fuss? The leftover cultivation majors. They are noisy even this early in the morning…”

“HERE COMES BOOBS!”

“Who are you base vulgars calling boobs?!”

“Ah.. um. My mistake.”

Minori shook her head saying “Heh ☆”, and went out of her way to say it again.

“Here comes the m’lady!”

“Who’s m’lady? I’m a butterfly!”

This person is Kocho Yoshida-san. She’s has big breasts, is a landowner’s daughter, and is a student of class 2-A like us. She’s also in the production science department… although she has a different major.

Actually, in this production science department there is a ‘cultivation’ major to which we belong, and the completely different ‘livestock’ major. Yoshida-san is the top of the livestock majors. Her grades are always tops in both practical and written exams. She is a livestock high school prodigy. She’s won the top national award in the beef cattle division of the agriculture club livestock examination competition. (yes there is such a thing)

“For the most part you cultivation majors are insane! Even though it’s morning and time to read before homeroom, you guys are yelling without caring about anyone else in the room you are bothering. Shame on you, you base vulgars!”

“Shut up lady! We aren’t the only ones who are insane!”

I have to agree with Minori on that point. Yoshida-san is certainly an honor student also.

“Bringing a COW into a classroom is insane!”

“Wh..what?!”

…I can’t be denied that it is a bit out of place.

Yoshida-san had pulled the cow that had just escaped into the classroom. Apparently she was worried that it would run away again so she brought it to the classroom. Yeah. Insane.

“Shut up! Who says that cows can’t be brought into the classroom? Where in the school rules is that written?!”

“Such an obvious thing wouldn’t be written in the school rules! This is a classroom for humans! Let’s take this bastard back to the cattle barn!”

“What are you saying!?”

Yoshida-san gently petted the cow she had brought with her.

“Ageha here is not just a cow! It is an elite wagyu beef cow that is guaranteed to win first prize at the Autumn Fair. She is expected to become the prefecture’s higest-ranked ‘Hida Beef’! I wouldn’t hang out with people like you. Instead I’d feel honored to be able to take classes with Ageha! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Ageha (the cow) starts to ‘Moo’ in sync with Yoshida-san’s loud long laugh.

“Tsk… what is elite wagyu beef? A cow that’s dumb enough to escape it’s pen and beat up a human should be shipped out immediately. Anyways it’s about 30 yen for 100 grams of kudzu meat…”

“The winning bid for Ageha is expected to be over 16 million yen.”

“Hey poor people! Make room for the great Ageha!”

I quickly kick the surrounding desks to make space for Cow-sama. Of course right? The people of this classroom don’t even have the value of Ageha-sama’s manure.

Minori started strangling me.

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