Chapter 21: 20: Oops

20: Oops

Honestly, Alpha’s rewards each night were really good for generating DP, and I’m certain they are getting better at it, because the DP I gain seems to be increasing. This may not be how I expected Alpha to assist me in gathering DP, but I can’t complain about the result. Unfortunately, between developing new monsters to help people with their problems, and Alpha’s “rewards” for me, I didn’t really have time to work on any of my other planned projects. Not that I’m complaining. If I have to choose between designing a new monster and enjoying Alpha’s rewards, I’ll probably choose the latter every time.

“Hey, Alpha? How come you’ve never made use of my dress? Does it not respond to you?”

“Oh… you don’t know? Um, your dress is dead.”

“Dead? How?”

After a short discussion of how exactly I’d summoned it, and what it looked like, we concluded the dress was probably dead from the start. Like a stillbirth. That actually makes me really sad. Why does it make me so sad? … I think it’s just the idea? The idea of giving birth and finding the baby is dead. It makes me so sad… I think I want a new dress. One that doesn’t make me sad to think about.

…

Anyway, after the egg that transforms into a desired sexdoll, and the cleaning slimes that feel like water (and need a container to hold themselves together), the next project is a farmer who wants help harvesting wheat.

Originally, I’d assumed I would have to spend lots of points on making a well designed monster for the task, but thinking on how I’d handled the desire for a specific love doll, I thought I could use a similarly vague summon. Except what I got wasn’t what I expected at all. Sure, it was an egg at the start, but it hatched right away and out came a foot tall lady with insect wings.

“How did I summon a fairy?”

“Good day, goddess. My name is Ren. When I spotted the job offering, I took it immediately, because this guy is just my type. Plus, any non-human magical being qualifies as a monster. Now, come-on old man, show me this farm of yours.”

“I’m not old! I’m only 33!”

“Maybe I should make some skin cream for you later, to improve your looks.”

The fairy then cajoled the farmer into leading her away as she rode on his head.

“... Alpha?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I like that outcome.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s a fairy! Fairies aren’t monsters! So what if it’s technically allowed, that just doesn’t seem right!”

“Do you prefer tentacles and slimes?”

“Definitely. That’s far more monstrous than a fairy. Fairies are more nature’s domain. I’m a god of monsters, not nature! I want unnatural things that don’t seem like they belong. Mind bending experiences that stretch what a person can accept is real.”

“Like a talking chair?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. Though I’m not quite sure how you’re doing it.”

“Hehe, I can do lots of things now!”

“Can you handle all these wishes for me?”

“No, that’s your job! You’re the god!”

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“Dang it. The entire reason I’d used a loose summons with few real requirements and no pre-defined result for the farmer was because I wanted to avoid having to do work.”

“And you saw plainly what happens when you do that.”

“I need to do it myself if I want it done right, huh?”

“Of course!”

I’m starting to wonder if I got an assistant, or a cheer-leader.

“A bit off-topic but, how did you make yourself so comfortable to sit in, Alpha?”

Alpha managed to become a seriously comfortable chair. The appearance reminds me of the big cushioned recliners I sometimes saw in my past life, but way more comfy. When I really relax, it’s almost like a hug.

“One of the stats for furniture is comfort. I put a lot of points into that.”

There’s a stat system for furniture? Alpha gets access to it when transforming into furniture? Huh.

“Now I just need some hot cocoa.” 

“I don’t know how to make that yet. Probably need to find the right location for it or something.”

“Yeah, a lot of the monster rules are weird. Pretty sure what plants can be produced is affected by the region.”

*sigh* What kind of monster do I want to summon for farmers, anyway? Maybe a gathering slime? Too bad sex with plants doesn’t count. Otherwise it’d be pretty easy to make a monster for harvesting from plants.

“Hey, Alpha?”

“Hmmm?”

“How does a fairy solve the farmer’s problem anyway?”

“Well, she said he was her type. So I guess she wants to fuck him.”

“... his dick is probably as big as her torso.”

“Maybe she has a thing for big insertions?”

“Did I just summon a girl-friend then?”

“Probably more like a wife. They’re gonna fuck, and then she helps out with farm work.”

“Can they even have kids?”

“I don’t see why not.”

… that’s really not what I was trying to do. Bah.

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