Chapter 13: Chapter 13: Of Distress

As she walked through the hallway, Sister Alejandra couldn’t help but feel the air grow colder and colder around her. Both of the Sister’s hands were restlessly rubbing together, trying to prompt some blood back into her freezing fingers, had it always been so cold?? Did the night really steal all warmth from the Chapel? Or was it the inclement wind mercilessly punching the building?

No. She knew that was not it, this was not merely a physical cold, there was something else turning her blood to ice: anxiety and fear.

Oh dear Saints, why is today such a hectic day??

First the chaotic morning, with yet another body to be dumped in the nearby river. Another poor, innocent child sacrificed by the Father and the other Sisters. Did Alejandra really understand a thing those people whispered about? Of course not, she was never allowed to even enter the so-called “Sanctum” in the basement. As the newest nun in the cloister, Father did not trust her enough to tell her about his “project”.

He didn’t even trust her to tell her about the bodies she had to carry! She learned that detail herself, by accident, and had to spend an entire afternoon demanding answers from the Father before being shown an official Indulgence from the main Church in Buda and being told to not ask questions, and simply do as she was told.

So she was only called in when they needed to move things around.

Because of course, as I am the biggest, that means I am the Chapel’s official mule, right!?

Alejandra resisted the urge to spit. She still hadn’t ridden herself of that bad habit.

The worst part of it all was how everyone else seemed to know, and Saints above did they talk about it. All the time, whenever they had some time away from the children, one could expect it as one expects the Sun to rise again: talk, talk, talk, complaint after complaint! Father instructed them to keep quiet about it, and yet they all had a lot to say about whatever the hell they were doing.

They complained about cleaning the room, they complained about staying up and awake, they complained about the noise, they complained about the lack of results!

Alejandra stopped her walking for a moment to grumble, let her anger stir and bubble inside like boiling water. 

They are not the ones having to carry bodies to the river! What in the Blazes do they need to complain about, even!?

It had been the same for the five years she had been around. Pick up “refuse”, throw away the “refuse”, pretend you don’t see a thing, carry heavy weight and listen to the others blabber. Was it the same in all other cloisters, or did she just have the bad luck to end in the single worst chapel in all of Jericho!?

Whenever they weren’t talking about how bad they had it, they were badmouthing others. Be it the children, each other, the Father or some problematic person at Gwynedd, they always had something bad to say about someone else. Honestly, every day that passed Alejandra felt more and more fed up with all these whining City Folk…

At least I can take it, but what about Ari…?

She wasn’t sure why, but there was something about the smallest nun in the Church that worried her. Maybe it was her sickly complexion, or the constant busy work Father pushed on her back, but Alejandra simply could not stop worrying about the woman. And yes, of course, she knew that this was all part of the duty of a Sister, that it was a “normal, sanctioned procedure”, and that Arianna was both an adult and her senior, so she definitely knew how to take care of herself.

But Saints forbid, she was so worried that this whole ordeal would ruin this girl! Ale could see it clear as day under the sleepy nun’s grumpy demeanor: a candid, caring heart and a stern sense of right and wrong, just waiting to be turned into cynical resentment with the passing of the years.

I refuse to allow that, no sir. I’ll kick anyone who even tries to let it happen.

And yet here she was, nervously walking the hallway because she heard a slap. 

Sure, none of the others really cared about a kid being smacked in this church, even Ale had to spank one of those little devils sometimes, but Arianna had never been prone to violence. She was probably the only nun in the chapel who had never once punished the kids, and a lot of people simply assumed it was because of a lack of moral fiber or laziness on the part of the small sister. But no, there was something more there…

Something that Alejandra was very keen on protecting.

Maybe it wasn’t her? Maybe it was the little devil! Yeah, maybe that girl smacked Ari!

Ale shook her head with a defeated sigh. No, there was no way Gabrielle attacked someone, she could barely stand up to look at someone in the eye! Sure, the strange girl had tantrums sometimes, hitting walls and tables in fits of emotion, but the few times she actually defended herself it was mostly shoves and screams.

The tall, strong woman stood right in front of the door to the Sacristy and took a deep breath. This had to be some sort of misunderstanding, but what if it wasn’t? What could she tell Arianna, then? She was in no place to chide others for hitting children, or disciplining them! Could she just ask her not to do it again? On what grounds!?

With another loud sigh, Alejandra slowly pulled the door open and closed her eyes tightly.

“Excuse me! Is everything okay over here!?”

There was silence for a moment. A very long moment. Were they not there at all? Had they already left without Ale noticing? The burly sister finally dared to open one eye.

Gabrielle and Arianna were right there, staring at Alejandra with confused and startled eyes. The bigger sister was quick to check the situation: Arianna was kneeling, there were no signs of swelling on either of their faces; Gabrielle’s hands were no longer bleeding, no signs of further violence, nothing. The three of them sighed in relief.

“Don’t just stay quiet there! You almost made my heart pop!” Now that she felt more confident, Alejandra had enough space to feel a bit annoyed. “Are you okay, you two?”

The redhead nodded softly, while Arianna got right back on her feet and let out a little yawn.

“Yep. Nothing to worry about, I was just making the girl feel a bit better.” Ari shrugged. “Sorry if we made you worry.”

“It’s fine, I just wanted to make sure nothing weird happened.” Alejandra let out a soft chuckle, while Gabrielle tilted her head to ask.

“Weird like what?”

Both nuns looked at her for a moment. After deep consideration, they both quietly decided to ignore the child’s question.

“I’ll go deliver this little troublemaker to her bed and I’ll be right back at the kitchen.” Assured Arianna, before feeling her head being patted by Alejandra’s big hand.

“Lemme take care of that, comrade. You go finish your food, it’s getting colder.” The big nun offered her a smile, trying not to think of the other sisters already looking at Ari’s plate with hungry eyes. “I’ll take Gabrielle to her bed, alright?”

Sleepy Arianna smiled brightly, jumping at the chance almost immediately and bowing her head without saying a thing, quickly running off to the hallway and back to the dining room.

Huh… she must have been hungry.

That sleepy nun was still a mystery to Alejandra, but she simply chose to shake her head and look down at Gabrielle. The little girl had been staring for a while now, she often did that! Not even blinking, the creep… all and all, Ale kinda liked the little devil. Reminded her of a calf she used to look after back on her family’s farm.   

She just wished the kid was a bit faster in the head.

“Alright, it’s just you and me kid. Let’s go take the longer route back, alright? I don’t want the others picking a fight with you again.”

The confusion in Gabrielle’s eyes seemed to grow, as she carefully held Alejandra’s sleeve and started following her to the other side of the Sacristy, back into the empty Main Hall. They needed to go into the West Hallway, if they wanted to avoid the kitchen altogether. For a while, none of them said a thing and simply advanced through the dark, but when Alejandra opened the West Door, she could hear Gabi’s voice mumbling.

“Why are you nice to me?”

That was a question the girl asked very often. Every time she didn’t hit the girl, or she simply chose to ignore a mistake of hers, Gabi asked the same question. And normally Ale had enough strength to simply ignore it, but tonight she was already feeling a bit upset. 

Alejandra and Arianna were pretty much the only ones in that church that didn’t follow on the line of abuse the other nuns had been putting Gabrielle through, but that didn’t really mean they were nice to her. Unable to really object to the enforcement of the Church Law, which authorized the punishment to all impure of blood and mind, both nuns usually just turned away or quietly tried to make the girl’s life a little easier.

She had only been around in this cloister for five years, and there still were some behaviors Alejandra couldn’t fully understand or object to, but this one—this one was definitely the one where she drew the line. The Saints were all true to themselves, and engaging in cruelty was simply beyond the nun’s heart.

I am doing the right thing, right? Then why do I feel guilty about it…?

“I am not nice to you, I’m just… I don’t know, I'm lazy.” Alejandra shook her head, trying to rationalize it. Of course. If she was truly nice, she would actually do things to protect this child. “Don’t get weird ideas.”

“But you are, though.” Gabrielle insisted. “You don’t hit me.”

“I do hit you! The other day I gave you a good spanking for letting those chickens escape”

“You did it softly.” Alejandra gulped at that, she had been caught. “And you also didn’t tell anyone about it.”

“...W-Well, I did fix it myself so, why even bother the other sisters?” The nun nervously looked up. “It’s basic consideration, honestly. Nothing to go home about.”

“Only you and Sister Arianna show that to me. You always save me.”

“C-Come on, Gabrielle… stop with that.”

I am not saving you from shit. I am just watching it happen…

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Alejandra felt each word of praise like a cold knife stabbing deeper into her heart. If she didn’t know better, she would totally accuse Gabrielle of being sarcastic there, but she knew that this girl meant every word. And that only made it sting even worse.

Like watching a little lamb dying off in the rack—you can’t really do anything but wish it’s painless.

And yet she felt so guilty she couldn’t do anything for it.

When they arrived at the door leading to the bedroom, Alejandra took a very slow breath in.

“Listen, Gabrielle… don’t go around telling others that we’re nice to you, okay? They may get the wrong idea.”

“Yes. I know. People will get angry if they know you’re helping a Witch.” The little girl nodded, apparently the thought had already gone through that odd head of hers. “I am sorry I caused you trouble.”

The sting was so harsh that it actually pushed the air right out Alejandra’s lungs.

“...Look…” Shakily, Alejandra tried to recover her cool. She failed. “...What we do really is just basic decency. Nothing special. People look after each other and, well, sometimes that means taking a stand for others. Ari and I haven’t taken a stand for you. We’re…”

“Afraid?”

“...Yes.” The woman spilled the beans. “Yes. We’re afraid. Things are odd and stupid, and people are odd and stupid too. It’s. It's all very complicated.” 

“It’s in the Prologues, that one must shun the wicked… I guess that’s just who I am.” Gabrielle’s voice betrayed a hint of defeat with those words. “I am sorry.”

“Oh Saints, stop apologizing to me damn it!”

Shaking her head again, and finding some resolve hidden deep within, Alejandra looked down at Gabrielle and stared into her eyes.

“You’re a good kid.” The woman said, pushing against the prejudices nested deep in her mind. “You just… were born under a bad star, or something. I don’t know, I am not a theologian!” She didn’t know why this kid, or any kid really, deserved to be treated as a walking disaster. “But, you’re a good kid. And even if I can’t like, actually take a stand for you right now… I will do what I can to make things a bit lighter. Okay?”

Gabrielle’s eyes grew glossy, tears starting to well over her cheeks.

Oh jeez, come on kid, don’t, you’ll make me cry too…!

“Maybe it’s because I am new here, or something. I don’t know, don’t ask me these heavy questions, okay!?” The woman dared to pat Gabrielle’s head, rubbing softly, just… a little sign of appreciation.

Odd, feels like there’s something hidden there…

Alejandra did not dare to question this much. Touching the girl was one thing, taking off the hood to reveal the devilish red hair was another thing entirely! Good intentions or not, that red hair was still unnerving to see.

So she just ignored it.

“I am nice to you because, damn it, someone has to. Okay!? Sometimes no one does anything, and stuff gets bad in the world because of it… so. Sometimes you just have to do it yourself. Someone has to do so. Okay!? And let's leave it at that.”

Gabrielle was crying, quietly as she always did. Clearing the tears from her face she simply nodded.

Alejandra took another deep breath, trying not to let emotion overtake her as well.

“Now get in and sleep, okay? Try to rest your head.”

—

Rain was pouring down outside. Gabrielle could hear it very clearly from her bed, right beside a window. All the other girls had already come in after a few minutes alone, they had all chattered and gossiped to their hearts’s content, and then fell deeply asleep without much effort. Always the same thing, really… but Gabi couldn’t join them that night. Her head was an absolute mess.

Hidden under the blankets, Gabrielle was trying so hard to come to terms with it all. And of course she had failed, for all these sorts of clashing ideas eluded her like running water through a fork. In her restlessness she had even forgotten to take off her habit for the night, but in hindsight that had been a blessing in disguise: Gabi was quick to remember the cookies she had hidden there when feeling up the cloth on her head.

With a sigh, Gabrielle just picked a piece of crumpled cookie and played with it between her fingers. She had failed in all she had promised herself to do that day: she didn’t get information on what a Demiurge is, she couldn’t tell Sister Arianna about the details of her own vision, and she couldn’t even enjoy her soup! At least she now understood a bit about the Genesis thing, but it felt so unimportant at this point…

Sister Arianna really didn’t want to tell me things… not the important ones.

The little girl nibbled on her cookie at a lazy, defeated pace—only to then shove the entire thing into her mouth once realizing how good it tasted! So sweet and crumbly, nothing at all like Surprise Bread or stale crackers. Her heart soared for a moment just by tasting it, to the point that she immediately picked up and devoured another.

Dumb Gabi, getting so happy from eating. Dumb pig, silly filly.

Gabrielle ignored the voice in her head, simply trying to enjoy her reward… her thoughts went to the caravan, and the many demihumans that were probably joining in at that very moment. All demis would do so, every single one in Jericho, and they would leave “somewhere better”. Better… Where could that “better place” ever be, anyway?

I hope they arrive there soon. Bohllin was just so excited…!

Good things happened to good people, so of course they would get to their new home soon. And they had treated her better than anyone before, they all had to be nice people, right? Either that or just saying things to get help. Then again, if her situation was law, and the right thing was to push her away for being a Witch, wouldn’t that mean that they are bad for treating her well?

They are Elves, demihumans! They don’t have to follow our rules, I think.

But where did that leave Alejandra and Arianna? 

Were they bad for going against Church Law? 

Sister Alejandra said they were not “doing” things, and laws are about what you “do”. So if you “don’t” do stuff, is that a law thing too? How does that even work!?

Gabrielle frowned and took another cookie. No thinking, no. She’d never get anywhere by thinking about complicated stuff, so better to just ignore it for now! 

Was it all pity, then? Did she have reasons to lie to her like that? People manipulate each other all the time, the Prologues always warned of those who honey their words.

No. Again, Gabrielle immediately pushed that notion far, far away. She preferred to believe that this was real, sincere. That someone out there actually cared about her—two people, if Sister Arianna felt the same. Maybe three, if Bohlin had been sincere!

Oh Saints, maybe more, if the people in the Caravan actually meant it too…!  

Gabrielle’s cheeks hurt a little bit. She was not used to smiling like this, or at all. Her hands trembled, clinging to the covers and pulling them a bit more. There were people out there, caring for her, people who liked her! Or, well, at least they didn’t actively hate her.

… But what if that was just a trick? Not on their part, but hers.

What if she had somehow managed to trick them? Make them forget that she was a Witch destined to make everyone’s lives Hell if she didn’t repent or ascend in time? And with the threat of “Genesis” getting closer, and whatever a Demiurge was… maybe this whole thing was what her visions were warning her about.

Maybe she was going to be the problem. Maybe she was going to fail so terribly one of these days, that everything burnt to the ground.

Gabrielle’s smile very slowly turned back to a frown, her breathing started to pick up and grow ragged, gasping for air.

N-No, no… come on, breathe slowly… not another tantrum, please…!

Her little body trembled and ached, forcing her to slowly curl into a ball. Her breathing only got worse and worse, to the point where she could only know one thing for sure: she needed to scream. She needed to howl and let it all out, or else she would asphyxiate for sure. But if she did it, the Father would arrive again and punish her for making so much noise. People would yell at her again.

Remembering this only made her pain get worse.

Please… Please! Help me…!

Unable to endure it any longer, Gabrielle took the deepest breath she had ever felt and closed her eyes.

But she couldn’t hear her own scream. It had been completely swallowed by something else. By light, coming from the window.

And the roar of a myriad of trumpets, blowing at once.

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