Chapter 93: What If I Wasn't?

Katie felt chills go down her spine a little while after she made it back to her quarters. Someone was discussing her, she could tell. Her money was on Sigmund and the duke.

It shouldn't have surprised her that he came back to the palace early considering he was the crown prince's right hand man but she had still been caught off guard. The way he looked at her sometimes! It was like he wanted to dissect her and remove her brain.

"What's wrong?" Al asked with a frown, noticing her grimace.

"I have a bad feeling about Duke Orla…I ran into him earlier," I admitted.

The quill he was holding snapped right in half. I had avoided mentioning my little encounter for this exact reason. Al thought of him as a love rival (ha, as if I had ever been interested in that guy!) but didn't realize how dangerous he truly was.

In the novel, when Sigmund got executed the duke managed to use clever words to prevent himself from meeting the same fate. It was as if he experienced no attachment to his supposed friend at all.

Someone as slippery as that who could abandon all his morals in a second…he couldn't be up to any good. He had always wanted me to come over to the crown prince's side but I also occasionally got the feeling he wanted me for himself.

Duke Orla believed in this society's rules and restrictions. If I had married him, not only would I have ended up having to help Sigmund, I would have been nothing more but a pretty bird in a cage meant to entertain people with my unique wit.

That sounded horrible to me. I didn't like all of the fakeness in this fictional country—it was why I had gone along with Al's ridiculous plan in the beginning. He was the realest person I had met here.

I had the horrible, sinking feeling that the duke wanted to get rid of Al so he could have me. I couldn't shake it. There was something in the back of his eyes on the rare occasions I bumped into him since getting married.

If it were true, his motivations to help Sigmund would have increased. He might even try taking matters into his own hands.

"I don't think we should visit Ayana for a while," I said quietly. "At least not until things are settled within the court and Franz and Mariela's baby is born."

Al eyed me shrewdly. "You mean until Franz becomes king, don't you? Who knows how long that would take? Why don't you tell me what has you worried. I know you wouldn't suggest this without a reason."

He knew me too well. How was I supposed to explain my suspicions? I wanted to wait until everything blew over after Sigmund's execution but at this point I wasn't even positive that was going to happen.

Everything in this novel world had been messed up by my arrival. The duke wasn't supposed to be obsessed with a woman. Marcy was supposed to marry Alpheus and live happily ever after, without him ever knowing the truth about his identity. Mariela wasn't supposed to get pregnant.

The one thing that absolutely could not get messed up was Franz becoming king. According to the story, the current king would die less than two weeks after the vote to let commoners into the court was passed.

Sigmund would take the throne and try to ignore the new law and do whatever he wanted. The people would revolt and in the ensuing chaos, he would get killed. Rosenia goes back to Rowenhilde, the duke goes back to his estate, and everybody lives happily ever after.

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I wanted to believe that this would still happen as long as we managed to get the resolution to pass in court. But as time went on I got progressively more worried.

I was the only one who knew what might be coming. If there was a revolt, we needed to be out of this castle before that happened. But Sigmund would likely try and trap the remaining members of the royal family here as soon as he was crowned.

Explaining what I knew about the future would be futile. At the very least I could tell my husband why I was worried about Duke Orla.

"I have a bad feeling that the duke is looking for any excuse to get you executed," I said, squeezing my eyes shut.

The words pained me to say. And the thought of not having the one person who felt like someone from my world and being left alone threatened to crush me. I could not lose Al. Since coming to the palace, he had been like my lifeline.

That only increased once I realized the extent of my feelings. I wanted to spend my life with him without anything getting in the way. I may be an unimportant side character but I want my happy ending, dang it!

I continued earnestly, grasping his hands between my own. "We need to be more careful! There are eyes everywhere in this place. If Sigmund found out who we were visiting or why…you would lose your head for sure. I can't continue living in this world if you leave me."

Tears formed in the corners of my eyes. I really couldn't. As much as I enjoyed talking to Mariela, once she was queen I would hardly be able to see her alone. If Al was gone and I had to spend the rest of my life wasting away in this palace with my sole purpose being the queen's friend I would go insane.

Al gathered me in his arms to comfort me the moment he saw my distress. But he was confused by my wording. "Can't continue living in this world?"

Ah, I had slipped up again. I meant that I couldn't carry on in this fantasyland without the one person who kept me grounded but it could also be construed as me being too depressed to stay alive if he were gone.

I was no Juliet Capulet, okay? I wouldn't kill myself over a man. If something happened to Al…heaven forbid…I would run away to another country and try to live as normal a life as possible as I originally planned. And be completely miserable without him.

I had already died once. The last thing I wanted to do was throw away my second chance at life.

"…you wouldn't understand," I said softly, burying my face in his shirt.

Al sighed. "You say the strangest things sometimes, Katie. I really don't understand you. It is almost as if you aren't from Annalaias at all."

My heart rate increased when he said that. Was this my chance to tell him the truth? That I understood his identity crisis because I had one of my own? I had planned on telling him eventually…why not now when I had an opening?

I took a deep breath before asking a question that could spell my doom. "What if I wasn't?"

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