Seeing that I had lost control of my emotions, Han Xiao immediately hugged my shoulders gently.
“All this will pass! Although… although I don’t know what exactly happened, Xiachun… I’ll stand by you!”
“Han Xiao, don’t you despise me?”
I choked up and asked, “I really didn’t know… this was not what I wanted… I feel so defeated and dirty! The pharmacy staff said that my life is over… It will become a stain that I can’t erase… What should I do?!”
Seeing how sad I was, Han Xiao’s eyes reddened and she said, “Xiachun, don’t let your imagination run wild… Don’t worry, no matter what happens, I believe you…”
***
An ectopic pregnancy is a woman’s worst nightmare.
I was young and had no idea what an ectopic pregnancy was. And I had no idea that this sort of pregnancy could not be aborted with drugs, and could be life threatening if done so.
At that time, because of my shame, I didn’t dare to go to the hospital. In my mind, doctors were incomparably sacred. I couldn’t imagine being examined in the consultation room, or the sort of Impression that the doctor would form of me.
Hence, perhaps with that kind of opportunity, I could have avoided this much damage.
However, at that time, I was lost and didn’t have someone who could guide me and lead me out of this foggy swamp.
Han Xiao brought me home. Her parents treated me to dinner warmly. After dinner, Han Xiao encouraged them to go for a walk, so that I had a chance.
She pushed me into the bathroom and urged, “Hurry up and take your medicine! Before my parents come back!”
“Will there be a lot of blood?” I asked worriedly.
“It will bleed, but the pharmacy staff said that if it’s used properly, there won’t be any danger.”
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Han Xiao hesitated for a moment before saying, “Actually, it’d be best if we went to the hospital to have it done under the guidance of the doctor. However, I don’t think you’d want to go!”
“I’m not going to the hospital!”
I started shaking as soon as I heard the word “hospital”.
Han Xiao immediately consoled me, “It’s alright, Xiachun. Don’t be so sensitive. You’re not a criminal. It’s not as though I’d take you to the hospital by force!”
I glanced at her feeling ever so grateful. “Thank you, Han Xiao!”
She nodded and shut the door considerately.
I sat down on the toilet seat in the bathroom and opened the medicine box. Then, after a quick glance at the instructions, I swallowed the medicine in warm water.
Initially, there was no reaction. Ten minutes later, just as I started worrying if the medicine would work and stood up to leave, I felt a sharp pain in my belly!
This pain was different from the pain that I would experience during my period. It felt as though something was tugging within me and trying to uproot a part of me!
My legs gave way and I collapsed to the ground clutching my abdomen. The pain made me break out in cold sweat.
I had used a sanitary napkin in advance, but the surging blood made it seem like my pants were about to be soaked!
I was both embarrassed and at a loss for what to do next. My head was numb from the pain!
I looked down and saw drops of fresh blood dripping onto the ground.. I was worried that I would dirty Han Xiao’s bathroom, so I hurriedly rummaged through the drawers for toilet paper and frantically wiped the blood away.
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