Lisa shook her head. “Alice said that in dual personalities, only one can exist. Otherwise, there will come a day when your spirit will be destroyed. Between the first and second personalities, only one can survive. If you can really return to the past, then the current you will disappear.”
Youyou was taken aback by this information! “The current me… will disappear?”
“Yes.”
“Well…” Youyou suddenly felt a little overwhelmed. “Will all my new memories disappear too?”
“It’s like you can’t remember everything that happened in the past, because in the past you had two personalities. One personality was very gentle and kind, the other personality was of a destructive nature. If you wanted something, you’d become ruthless and unscrupulous, you’d go for it at all costs.”
Youyou fell silent upon hearing this. He suddenly lowered his head to look at his hand, which was tightly clenched. Then, he relaxed his grip, and a sense of being alive came to him. However, Lisa said that if two personalities existed at the same time, they would reject each other. And ultimately, his spirit would be destroyed.
Did this mean he should now give this body up to the previous Youyou?
He couldn’t quite do it. Every personality is selfish.
He was not willing to leave this body because… there was something that he yearned for now. Although he did not say or express anything aloud, he really wanted to stay in this family and become a part of it. “Well…” Disappointed, he asked, “If I voluntarily withdraw from this body, will the previous Youyou return?”
“Maybe. But if he had disappeared… then maybe he won’t come back.”
Youyou was slightly shaken. He knew in his heart something that others did not know. He knew that the previous Youyou had not disappeared. Meaning, the first personality hadn’t disappeared from his body. It was still sealed deep down inside, along with the memories.
He often dreamed of that child. That boy was trapped in a cell, and he often saw him and would even speak with him.
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He had had countless dreams of him and a child traveling on the sea. He would be wearing a black shirt, and the other child, a white shirt. He kept running, and he had integrated him into his body. Then the other Youyou disappeared. He replaced him.
And now he understood, that child was the other personality.
He had no way of knowing. He only thought that the other child was the invader and his other self. He didn’t expect that the two personalities were two separate entities. Why? Why were two of him created? Why was he created and brought into this world, only to have to compete with another child for a body? He also wanted to exist. But how could he exist?
Youyou calmly asked, “Compared to me, they should like the previous Youyou more, right?”
Lisa looked at him in surprise but did not say anything.
“Daddy, Mommy, Little Yichen, and Yueyao. And even you, Lisa, right?”
“I…”
“Compared to me, you prefer the previous Youyou to come back, right?”
After a pause, he gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have teamed up with Gong Jie to bring me home. That’s because you also want to use my family to awaken my memories and restore the previous Youyou,
right?”
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