Chapter 29: 29

Chapter 29

“Aaaaa!” A piercing headache stabbed so painfully that it felt as though it would split my head apart. Memories came rushing but they were blurred and flickering. I bit my lips and stumbled out of the bathroom. I knew that this was a part of the withdrawal symptoms but there was nothing I could do to fix it.

I had tried everything. When Kaichen was cooped up in his room, I had read the book and tried all kinds of experiments and mixtures. I had used my own knowledge and tried everything in the medical book. Nothing worked. The symptoms were all so diverse that I couldn’t make a proper cure. Unfortunately, I was running out of time. It wasn’t the same as when I was trapped in the time magic and could start over the next day when something went wrong with the medicine I made for Mickey.

There had been plenty of time, and I observed Mickey as a third party. And… as terrible as it sounded, I had a subject to experiment on who would be returned as he was the next day. I couldn’t experiment on my own body because I only had one. And it wouldn’t be returned to me. What if it made the symptoms worse?

I didn’t know it would be so frustrating to be unable to save myself. I felt guilty for using a small boy to experiment on. I was horrible!

“Aargh!” I felt dizzy and couldn’t stand upright. I fell on my knee. Cold sweat dripped from my forehead. I felt as though my pores were on fire. My vision blurred, and all I could see was Mickey’s miserable face and his convulsing body.

It’s just a hallucination, I told myself. It’s just a hallucination. Mickey is not here…. Holding onto that shred of rationality, I tried to recall the contents of the book. Hallucination was one of the symptoms associated with withdrawal from alcohol. Even though I knew all that, horrible memories and visions blurred my sight. I could not bear to see them. I could not stand hearing them scream. All the despair and resentment.

“—lia!” I shut my eyes. I thought that I heard someone calling me.

My whole body ached and itched. I felt as if bugs were gnawing on my skin. My lips were parched and dry. I bit my lips and scratched my skin. The pain didn’t go away. I kept seeing horrible things even with closed eyes. I wanted to gouge my eyes out. I was going to do just that, but I felt someone holding down my hands. I struggled and heard someone calling distantly, amidst all the screams and resentment ringing in my ears.

“Dalia!” A low voice called.

Dalia… Dalia… that is my name! I flinched as I heard the name from among the screams. I struggled to free myself to scratch my skin to soothe the burn, to tear my skin away. But something held down my arms. I could taste blood between my lips. It was so painful. Everything hurt. “Why are you stopping me?” I screamed and sobbed. I didn’t know whether I was saying it aloud or my mind was ringing again. “It’s so painful.”

“Dalia. Get a hold of yourself! Open your eyes.”

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Open my eyes? “I would see the horrible things again,” I screamed. I didn’t know if I was screaming in reality or only in my head. “I don’t want to see. I want to gouge my eyes out. Please.”

“Stop it. Calm down, Dalia.”

I don’t know who I was begging with, but I cried and begged. It must be in my mind. “I don’t want to die. Please,” I cried. “Please don’t let me die.”

“I’ll help you,” said the voice, “So, stop it now.” A warm, calm energy filled my heart.

I could feel my skin being soothed. The itching subsided. The headache disappeared. My eyes didn’t throb anymore. I felt that this was all unlikely. Is this another hallucination? But the screams in my mind had stopped. The voices, the despair, the visions, everything stopped.

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“Open your eyes, Dalia. It’s okay now.” The low voice sounded exhausted. It brought me back to my senses. My mind slowly cleared and all I could think was, Ah, this is crazy!

I should have expected this. Dalia’s alcoholism was very severe. I knew that the withdrawal symptoms would get worse. Hallucinations, impulsive behavior, irrational thinking were all symptoms that were normal in this case. I was not prepared for the horrible visions. The memories of experiencing those horrible things were something no one should be subjected to.

Alcoholism was more horrible than I expected. I had thought of asking Kaichen for help, but I didn’t have the courage to intrude upon him. I had tried to make the cure myself. I had avoided asking him. I opened my eyes slowly. Kaichen’s face came into view. He was holding me down, maybe thinking I would try to gouge out my eyes again.

“Teacher…,” I mumbled. Kaichen’s eyebrows twitched in annoyance but he didn’t tell me off like he usually did.

“I tried… I couldn’t make the cure. Can… you help?” I winced. “If you could… I would be grateful.” I tried to smile but only winced because of the pain in my mouth. I stammered but the words wouldn’t come out properly. Eventually, I let out a dry laugh and winced again.

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