Chapter 140: Chapter 1 Rewrite: The Afterlife

This is the rewrite that I last talked about, and it's what I consider to be the far better version, as I took much more time to make it than the original. It is much longer than the original as well, so I'd like opinions on it, and whether or not I should start a new story than post to this one. So, I hope you enjoy this rewrite!

I opened my eyes to realize I was in a gray room, very much not my own. But I also realized I wasn't on my bed, nor did I recognize the empty space that I had appeared in. The same space seemed to go on for an eternity in all directions, just an empty, gray void. I did feel a surface under my back, which gave the impression of a physical ground existing,  but I couldn't tell what it was. Was it more void? But that would not explain why I felt a surface underneath me. Slight panic set in, as this void seemed like something I could remember, faintly, at least.

Did I die?

I sat up immediately, and looked in all directions that I could, and found that I had a body still.

That's weird, I have a body. I would have thought that in the endless void of an afterlife, I wouldn't have a physical body, but a spiritual, or metaphysical body.

Turing once more, I looked in all directions once more, and was met with something that Ihad not seen before. I found an androgynous, human figure clothed in a mix of flowing black and white cloth, wrapping around them as well as floating around them. The figure was sitting in a chair made of clouds, staring at me, which gave me the very obvious feeling that they were the one to bring me here. It took a couple seconds of staring at each other before the figure spoke: "Hello, my child."

The figure's voice made me comfortable as I turned towards them, still sitting on the floor. I also felt compelled to say something back.

"Hi… I'm dead… right?"

"Indeed, you are. This is my domain, of which I have brought you here."

Compelled once more, I asked something else in my mind.

"I assume you're a deity, right?"

"Yes, I am a Deity, but I am no simple god. I am culminated from fragments of multiple other deities by The One, and set as an entity known as  the Soul Director. I direct and control souls through their life to their end, as well as control how they incarnate. I will normally incarnate someone as a new being after their inevitable death, by which they will then live a new life separate from the previous life they had lived. To simplify what I am within the grand scale of all creation, I am the deity of life, death, and reincarnation."

"Uhm, oh, I'm compelled again ... okay, cool..... That would probably be a little more interesting if I had some concept of why I was here rather than… living? I guess?"

My brain was in the middle of processing this information, and I soon found more questions.

"Am I here to be personally incarnated? Are you going to get rid of my current personality and make me into another person? Am I really… dead? Is this how my life ends!?"

Before I could continue on my train of thought, I felt a wave of something come over me, and the heart rate that I could feel coming from my body slowed, with my thoughts slowly quieting down, until they were silent. Only after everything had gone silent, did I realize I was looking at the ground rather than at the figure. I did not know how long I had been going, nor how much time passed before I was compelled to look back up at the figure, who had a smile that gave off an odd feeling, one in which I could not put a finger on.

"Th-... Thank you… for that."

"It is of no concern, my child."

That odd feeling was still lingering. And it was only more emphasized by the figure shifting into a more angered pose, with a matching expression.

"I brought you here because I killed you. You did die."

I died? By their hands? Am I going to be forced to be entertainment for gods to watch? Or was my death just because they were bored? I squinted one of my eyes, thanks to the feeling I was getting, my face had contorted into half trying to get a read on the deity, and half feeling that same ominous feeling. I can't tell if they are evil or not! I mean, they totally could be, but I can't get any reading on them! Well, they are a combination of pieces of other deities, right? So what if that has something to do with it? Could it be that they are being influenced by those fragments? Do the other deities want something from me, using this entity as a puppet for their plans? What would their plans be anyways!? Am I supposed to fight one of them? Or all of them!? I mean, I guess I can? I don't have any reason not to, since I'm kinda dead, but…

Would that make this a fantasy isekai story then? I would have never thought of this being the way it happens to me of all ways for it to happen!

I was brought out of my thoughts once more by that wave of calm I had recently learned the feeling of. Having the same effects as the previous, I still had that ominous feeling come over me, and yet I was partially compelled to ask something.

"So why did you… kill me, of all people?"

A slight bit of annoyance became physically known to me, as that threatening feeling grew. "I killed you for multiple reasons, do not think I killed you for a reason such as myself being puppeteered by the deities I was created from. I would not do such a thing as the Soul Director who acts according to The One."

"You can hear my…" I was hit with a slight realization that a deity, any deity, should be able to, thanks to omniscience, hear the thoughts of whomever they choose. "... nevermind, forget that... Can I know the reasons why you killed me..?"

"Of course I shall inform you of them. However, I must tell you that these are all caused by your actions. Or the lack-thereof." The figure got visibly angrier. What did they mean, I was the cause? Did I do something, or not do something in my life that would be the cause of it? I don't remember doing anything that would cause a literal god to kill me, so what could they be?

They seemed to ignore my thoughts, as they immediately spoke to interrupt me from going any deeper down a rabbit hole of speculation.

"The first reason is, I personally created you as a passion project of mine. I made you specifically so that with the knowledge of ideas and concepts from the world around you in your mind, you could essentially create anything. I made you to, in essence, become a human deity for my entertainment, originally, at least."

"I was a passion project of a god? And I was supposed to become a deity? For your entertainment? I mean, it explains something, but not much other than my creative endeavors…" I spoke, not realizing that the words were coming out of my mouth.

"Indeed, you WERE supposed to become AKIN to a deity. And entertainment was indeed the original purpose of your existence. However, that brings me to the second reason as to why you have died."

They scowled slightly before continuing. "The second reason was a simple one. As compared to the rest of the other humans that existed around you, due to you being MY project, I had modified the world to purely allow you to have full autonomy. I gave you full control over your own existence, of your own fate, to the point that I did not have any control over you for your nineteen years of existence."

They were smiling at the end of that, which gave me the impression that they were happy about what they had done with me, according to them anyway. However, that smile was short-lived, as after a short pause, the smile disappeared, and there was an exasperated sigh. The figure stood up and walked to the side, away from the throne of clouds, looking into the abyss, as if there was a window looking to the outside.

"However, due to all of that, I had high expectations of you. I expected that perhaps you would have started a world-altering business, created a new country, perhaps even taken over the world. Perhaps those were hasty thoughts that I had, as I checked in several times throughout your life. At first, I was only concerned because I did not know how you would have developed, but I shook those feelings off for the reason of a human only developing throughout several years of time. And so, that feeling of concern was only short-lived, until the next time I checked in. That time gave way to more concern, as I then watched you much closer. Why you may ask? Because, even at a young age, you did not do as much as I was expecting. There was no taking in of more information to generate new ideas, no revolutionary new item of importance. That had caused me more than a fair share of my own anxiety that my creation had no options to live up to the greatness that it was supposed to become! But, against my own worries, I had made a decision to let you develop for several more years. And so, I left you to develop on your own, but that proved to be a mistake, as you did nothing, aside from conceptualize a plethora of items and objects by the time I had decided to bring you here."

They had stopped for a moment, turning their head towards me as I stared with concern for myself.

"I do have to congratulate you on the conceptualization of those objects, however! But I have only one problem that permeates throughout what I have been speaking to you for as the 'second reason'. Before I had killed you, I had worry of your growth over the lifespan you would have inevitably succumbed to. And so, I took my worries to The One, whom allowed me to see the future of my greatest creation: you. However, with the vision I was given of your future, I was brought to displeasure with what I had foreseen: nothing. Your future consisted of NOTHING. And so, to find if my troubles were unfounded, I asked The One if he could show me visions of all the possible futures, if I changed something, so as to not alter the hands off approach of your development. That was the cause of my exasperation, as within all of those visions, every possible minute change that I could have made, the changes that would have occurred had I not interfered, YOU DID NOTHING."

That menacing feeling I had felt for the entire time that I had been in front of this deity grew exponentially, and I learned what that feeling was: fear. Unbridled fear. Wincing from the venom dripping in those words, accompanied by trying to move and failing, I had a thought.

I fell asleep before I ended up here, but before that, I remember I told myself that I was going to start something. I guess I did push the starting point back to tomorrow…

"No, you were NEVER going to." The Soul Director turned their head around, and their body morphed until it was facing the same direction as their head, towards me. Following the unworldly and supernatural turn towards me, they immediately started stomping to approach me, shaking the surroundings like an earthquake with each step, surprising me, and causing my frozen body to instinctively try to back up, crawling backwards, but never physically moving. As they closed in, I froze once more, and panicked far more than I ever had in my life. A deity, of all things, was heading towards me, intimidating me, and it was working.

 "That leads me to reason number three, which is exactly what I have just spoken. I SAW YOU DO NOTHING. NOTHING! NOT EVEN GET A PROPER PARTNER TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH, OR EVEN WRITE A NOVEL! YOU SAY YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING THE NEXT DAY, BUT THAT WOULD HAVE ENDED AS A REPEAT OF THE PREVIOUS! WITH NOTHING BEING DONE IN YOUR LIFESPAN!"

While they were saying this, they arrived where I was frozen in place, and stood right over my legs, coming to a stop and causing the entire space that we were in to shake once more before calming down. They then used a hand and lifted my terrified face to look directly into my eyes, and I finally took in the raw power that a deity could exert with a single look.

What I saw in their eyes was what I could only describe as a true void. Pure black eyes acting as portals to nothingness. Within the void of their eyes, I could faintly make out figures wandering, like ghosts. The figures passed through each other, and I could faintly hear voices calling for anyone to appear as they all wandered, unable to interact with each other.

Is.. is that hell.. Why is it.. So dark.. Why are there so many people? Is that.. Where I'm going to end up?

With a wave of contemplation coming about, I was stopped once more with a wave of calm once again, however, it only worked to stop my thoughts from running amok, not get rid of my fear. But that brought me back to where I was, trapped by the one calling themselves my creator, with an aura of terror emanating off of them.

"You, as my personal project, were supposed to do great things in your original world, however, with no fate to follow, and complete autonomy over any and everything within your own life, you would have wasted your own life away. That is why I chose to kill you. Because I had created you, and yet you did not meet any expectations."

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Letting go of my face did not allow me to actually move, but I watched as they sauntered towards their throne of clouds, saying the words: "I will be sending you to a different world. You will be keeping your memories. I am only giving you this once chance to show me what you are capable of. If you do not live up to my expectations again, you will truly die. You have seen The Eternal Death, and that is where you will end up if you do nothing in this new world, becoming nothing but a husk of your current self, only able to wander through the infinite void for eternity, never meeting any other soul."

When they arrived at the throne and sat down, crossing a leg over the other, I could finally move, but I did nothing. The aura of terror had also subsided, and it seemed as though the Soul Director was letting me process everything that had been said.

I.. I did nothing with my life.. I mean, I didn't have many friends, and went through several friend groups, but I was the one who separated myself from them.. And all of the opportunities I had to either get a job or create something, I just let them slip through my fingers.. I put things off because I wanted to do them, but because I set myself up to just enjoy the entertainment that others had created, I left all my aspirations to just be given to me rather than done myself.. I played around plenty, had a bit of a social life, but.. Oh god.. My friends.. I just died, and they will only ever know that I died in my sleep.. And I never fulfilled any ideas or projects that I wanted to do with them!

In my unfrozen state, the entire time I spent thinking was accompanied by slowly bringing my legs in closer to hug them to my chest. I even let my head hang down, shrinking myself with the continuous thoughts that flowed through my head.

And my family! Oh my god! My family! All they know is that I died in my sleep as well! I can't even say sorry to them that I did nothing, or say goodbye to them either! I just up and died without explanation! I can't do anything to fix any previous mistakes, or even tell anyone that I'm going to be going to another world! I'm just losing them and everything I've ever known, all because I didn't do anything!

I was interrupted from going any further with my thoughts by that pleasant wave of serenity that I had learned very well. A realization hit when that wave rolled over me, I was crying. Tears had been going down my face as I was regretting my life decisions. It had felt like I was just scolded by my parents quite extensively.

"It is okay, my child."

I lifted my head and looked directly at the Soul Director, regally sitting in the clouds, eyes still watery. 

"..Is it?"

"It is okay, for you are not the only one at fault for this. I had a lapse in judgment when I set you in that world with no path or direction. I, as your creator, should have given you more than just life. I had the thought that you would have had more than enough knowledge to learn in that world, and while you had indeed learned a fraction of it, there was never the possibility of you learning all of human- or better yet, universal- knowledge within the timespan that you were allotted. I have made plenty of oversights with you, and yet, I would still like you to have full autonomy in your new world."

They let out a self-pitying chuckle, and had a small smile on their face while turning away slightly.

"How odd of me, I should be harder on you with this, and yet, I can still only see you as a child of mine. It is quite odd, is it not? I can surmise that I have been affected by the Zero Plane worlds, one of which you are from, or perhaps it is due to the whims of The One that I see you in such a way. However this had come about, I am satisfied with the current result."

"What now?"

My mind could only ask that question, as over the past period of time, I had been through an amount of emotional whiplash, going through multiple panic attacks from fear, calmed by the Soul Director, as well as mourned for my previous world. Even with the serene feeling currently being emitted by the newly nicknamed Director, I had been wrung dry of more emotion than I would have thought to be reincarnated.

"Oh, do not mind the ramblings of mine, my child. I am simply coming to terms with a piece of myself set by The One eons ago. As for why I am currently satisfied with this result, allow me to explain why."

Within a blink of an eye, I had disappeared from the spot I was curled up in a ball, and reappeared only a few steps away from the Director, sitting cross-legged. Before I could get out the question of what happened and why I magically moved, The Director themself, spoke.

"I have a feeling that I was set to pine for a parent-child relationship, and I am satisfied that I have taken a hold of such a relationship." They lifted one hand, put an elbow on the arm of the throne, and rested the side of their face upon their palm, smiling at me.

Those words gave me an awkward feeling. Is this what it feels like to be adopted?

My mental query wiped that smile off of their face, replaced with an expression that said 'did you really just say that'.

"As I am your original creator, I find that extremely rude. However, I am willing to forgive. But I am satisfied for other reasons, such as how you are at your current state. As my child, I can be proud of how you turned out."

That caused me to tilt my head in confusion. Didn't you kill me because you didn't like that I was never going to do anything in my old world?

"The true meaning of those words is that, despite every part of you that are not up to my expectations, there are aspects of you that I am proud of."

"Oh, that makes so much more sense."

Their smile came back once more, and the Director then went on to explain.

"In a world that had caused you so much trouble, such as anxieties and introversion, your will, while not for the right reasons, was indomitable. I had preferred it be used for much more important, world altering ways, but for the simple reasons of not giving in to what you would call 'peer pressure', I find you to be just as strong as intended."

That.. doesn't sound as good as you were wanting to make it out as. Just because I ended up with a strong will doesn't mean you should be particularly proud of that. Neither should I, for that matter.

"I also have a liking for your view on people. You saw many for what they truly were. As for interacting with other humans, when you did so, there was not a care for any aspects of them that the world around you would have paid attention to. No matter their skin color or looks, you had no judgment towards them. You judged the person for who they were based on their personality."

"Okay, that IS better than the last one.. But I'm stuck on being your child, even if my thoughts said otherwise." My thoughts slipped as actual words, once again slipping my mind that I was speaking my thoughts aloud.

They just gave me a parental smile, and for the first time I realized I was truly in the presence of my creator thanks to it. Of course, they were trying to compliment me, of all things, but my only answer as to why came out to be that deities themselves were powerful enough to do whatever they wanted, and I had no way of changing that fact. Plenty of information had been dumped on me aside from them trying to compliment me, and my response to them was "I.. uh.. I guess I'm your child? I mean, it's weird that I'm just now the child of a deity, but I don't have any way to disprove it, or go against it in the first place. And I heard a lot, how we both were at fault for how I ended up, and I remember something about reincarnating only once. There was something called the Zero.. something.. Like the Zero Plane or something similar.. As well as old worlds, new worlds, multiverses, and a few things that you do, or have access to, like the Eternal Death."

The Director did not change in expression, or react, which slightly worried me.

" I mean, it was a lot to take in. I've barely taken it all in, and I don't know anything about this reincarnation.. I would think that I know about how it'll go, but at this point, since learning about a single plane of existence and that my original world was in said plane, I can't really think I know everything anymore."

I had finished explaining myself to the best of my ability, and I finally got a reaction in the form of words.

"My child, even with all of your imperfections, I shall ensure you gain the knowledge you need. I want you to have fun in this new world, so allow me to inform you. Even with my wish for you to 'have fun', this world will not allow you to be idle, while you may have moments of rest, those moments will not last forever. Furthermore, the world will try to kill you, for the simple reason you are going to reincarnate as an already existing figure within it. You will be replacing their consciousness, becoming them, so to speak."

"I'm sorry, I'm going to be in a world where I could die much easier?"

"Even with a constant threat of death, I do hope it is an incentive to truly become what I had hoped for originally from you."

"Oh cool, just gonna ignore me now.."

The atmosphere suddenly changed, making a shiver go down my spine, and goosebumps formed all over my body. It did not help that the Director was now behind me, leaning down so that their mouth was next to my ear. A slight amount of fear emanated off of them, as they whispered directly in my ear.

"I must inform you of one other thing, when you die once more, I will judge whether or not you shall be sent to Eternal Death."

I had once again become frozen in place, but it was my own doing rather than due to any effect from the Director. That skin-crawling atmosphere was immediately gone, in a puff of smoke, as the Director let go of my shoulders and skipped back to the cloud throne with a barely visible smirk, returning to having one leg over the other, and an arm and hand supporting their leaning head.

"It is not as though I am hoping for you to die, but it is preferred that you do not die prematurely, so as to not run a higher chance of truly dying. I would also like for you, as my only child, to live, rather than causing me to start over with a replacement."

Wiggling my body slightly to unfreeze myself, I inquired "You're really pushing for me to become comfortable with you acting as my parent, aren't you?"

"I am the parent in our relationship, am I not?"

With I sigh, I resigned to my fate of being a child of a deity. But with a clap, I was brought back to attention.

"My child, I have enjoyed our interactions together, however, the other deities are pestering me for incarnated souls for their worlds. While I would have loved to have talked with you more, I cannot put this off any longer. So, I do hope you enjoy your new world!"

There was a cheerful expression on their face as they waved at me.

"Thank y-" I could only get partially through saying thank you to them for at least giving me a chance to redeem myself before they snapped their fingers. It caused me to fall asleep, and as if waking up from a dream, I immediately woke up.

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