Lucy took a moment to gather her thoughts together so she would know how best to put them to him. Maybe she should have told Sonia about it first and heard what Sonia thought so she would know if it made sense to suggest such a thing to Tom.
"Yes. I know you love kids. And I don't want to deprive you of having them. So I was thinking maybe you won't mind adopting a kid. There are so many kids out there without parents, in need of someone to take care of them. And I think you have what it takes," Lucy said, and Tom nodded thoughtfully.
"Okay. And then what?" he asked, making Lucy look at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean. What next after I adopt a kid or two? Are you going to marry me?" he asked, wanting to know if what she meant was that she would get married to him, but they would have to adopt kids. If that was what she wanted, the idea would be very well welcomed.
Lucy shook her head, "No. I'm not sure yet how I feel about that yet...."
"Alright. Let's see if I get what you mean. You still don't want to marry me, but you want me to adopt kids so I can be fine with just dating you, am I right?" he asked, and Lucy winced.
When he put it like that, it sounded somehow, "I..."
"Will you be the mother to the kids if I settle for an adoption?" Tom asked without letting her answer the first question, and Lucy's brows pulled together.
"Like be responsible for them?" Lucy asked, and judging by her tone, Tom could tell she didn't want that.
"Yes. Like taking care of them as a mother would. Of course, they would have nannies to cater to some of their physical needs, but they will need both parents to cater to their emotional needs. So will you be their mother?"
"Don't I need to be your wife to be their mother?" she asked carefully.
"You already made it clear you don't want to marry me...."
"I never said that... At least not that way," Lucy corrected, "If I ever want to get married, it would be you. I'm just not sure I'm cut out for it," Lucy said with a slight frown.
"Understood. As my girlfriend, will you be their mother?" Tom asked, and Lucy shook her head.
"Isn't that the same as having kids of my own and being responsible for them?" she asked, and Tom raised a brow.
"You don't want that too," Tom said with a nod. It wasn't a question. It was what it was. She didn't want to be responsible for any child.
"You don't want to marry me, and you don't want us to adopt the kids together either. In other words, you want me to opt for adoption, but you don't want to be a part of it. All you want is to remain my girlfriend, am I right?" Tom asked, trying not to sound annoyed, but Lucy could tell he was becoming upset.
"I just want things to remain the same between us. I don't want anything to change..."
"Do you have any idea how selfish that sounds?" Tom asked, cutting off whatever she wanted to say.
"Selfish? I'm only saying this for you..."
"For christ's sake, Lucy! Do you have anything against having a nice peaceful moment together? We are out here having a beautiful morning, and you decide to bring this up, knowing how sensitive the conversation is for the both of us, and you claim you're suggesting this for my sake?" Tom asked as he let her leg drop from his thigh and stood up.
He couldn't help feeling offended by the selfishness of her suggestion. He felt so offended because he was disappointed. For a moment, he had been hopeful that she had changed her mind and was going to say they could get married but adopt kids.
"I didn't mean to ruin the moment. I thought the suggestion would work best for us..."
"How does this work for me? Does it make any sense to you that I adopt a child, and then I'm in a separate relationship with my girlfriend, who doesn't want to be involved in the child's life? I can see how well it works for you, but how does it work for me? Last time I checked, I said I wanted a family, not just a child. If all I wanted were a child, I would have over a dozen kids from different women running around the house already!" Tom said angrily, trying hard not to raise his voice.
"You know what? Maybe I should bring my own suggestion. How about I get someone to have my baby instead? Since we are talking about what works best for me, we should consider this too," Tom said, and Lucy's heart skipped a beat.
"Your baby?" Lucy asked as she rose.
"Yes. Doesn't that sound like a good idea? I could get someone. Anyone. To have a child for me. Maybe if I like her enough, I could marry her. We don't have to worry about you being my wife or the child's mother then, do we? That way, you get to remain my girlfriend for as long as is convenient for you, and I get to have a family. It's a win-win. I'm sure she won't mind me having a mistress. I will be sure to explain the situation to her..."
"How can you say such a thing?" Lucy asked in a hurt tone, her heart beating fast and aching at the thought of Tom being with another woman.
"What? Don't you like that suggestion? Of course, you don't. That is the same way I don't like your suggestion. You talked about this suggestion being borne out of compromise, yet I can't find what you're willing to give up for this. So far, you've only told me what you think I can do so we can be together, not what you're willing to do," Tom said, and as he turned to walk away from the balcony back to the bedroom, Lucy grabbed his hand.
He was right. This wasn't really a solution either. Somehow she had thought that he would be fine once he had his own kid and he wouldn't mind just being in a relationship with her.
"Please, don't leave. I'm sorry. I didn't give it as much thought as I thought I did," Lucy said apologetically, and Tom paused.
He observed her as different emotions flickered on her face, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. He tried to remember all the reasons he loved her, and he tried to remind himself that although he did not like her suggestion, she had not said it to annoy him but had only suggested it because she was trying to find a way for them to work.
"Jewel?" he called when he felt he was calm enough, and she met his gaze.
"Did anyone bring the issue up while I was away? Did someone pressure you into thinking about this again?" he asked calmly, and she sighed.
"It's not that. It's just that I was sort of worried about it..."
"Why? I haven't brought it up or asked you anything about that since we talked about it. Did I say or do anything to make you feel pressured?" Tom asked, and she shook her head.
"No. It's not you. It's me."
"From what I can see, you are not ready to change your mind on the subject, and I'm not forcing or urging you to do that either..."
"But what about you? I know you want..."
"Forget about what I want. We had an agreement. We agreed already to revisit the issue in a year. Let's stick to that. You don't have to worry about anything else," Tom said, and Lucy sighed.
"I'm sorry I ruined the mood."
Tom pulled her close and cupped her chin with his hands, "I don't know what's going on in your head, but I just want to be able to have a nice time with you without either of us worrying about anything else. So please do me a favor and not bring up this subject until the stipulated time. Unless, of course, you're bringing it up to tell me you've changed your mind," Tom said on a lighter note, but Lucy looked at him with worried eyes.
"You are not going to consider your suggestion, right?" she asked, and Tom sighed as he kissed the tip of her nose.
"No, I'm not. I'm sorry I said that. It's not an option. We will put our heads together and find a way to work things out so we are both fulfilled and happy. For now, don't worry about anything else, and let's focus on finding ways to spend more time together and be happy," Tom assured her as he raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckle.
There was no need to tell her right now that even if she failed to change her mind, he was not going to give up on her. He hoped she would be more open to it then or at least to the idea of parenting. He could settle for adoption later, as she had suggested, but if he was going to do that, he wanted her to be involved in the kid's life. She should be able to do that much for him. In a relationship, there had to be give and take on both sides.
"So what are we doing now? Going back to bed?" Lucy asked, and Tom shook his head.
"No. I want to do something else. There's something I've always wanted to do," Tom said, and Lucy raised a brow.
"What?"
"Let's go to the spa together. After the body treatment, I want to watch them take care of your hair and give you a makeover. Also, you can get your nails done. I noticed you need a pedicure," Tom suggested, and Lucy giggled in embarrassment as she looked down at her nails and feet.
"Yeah, I do need a manicure and pedicure. I haven't done that since I moved here. But don't you think you will get bored waiting for me to do all this?" Lucy asked, and Tom grinned.
"I can never get bored watching you. After that, we can go on a dinner date. What do you say?" Tom asked, and Lucy's eyes twinkled.
"There is something I would like to try too," Lucy said with a shy smile and Tom raised a brow.
"What's that?" he asked, and Lucy drew close to him.
"Sex in the car," Lucy whispered, and Tom chuckled.
"Before or after the spa session?" Tom asked with a silly grin, and Lucy giggled.
"Isn't it better in the dark? I mean, anyone could see us by the roadside during the day," Lucy said, and Tom chuckled.
"Leave that to me. Only make sure you're putting on a dress, and you don't wear undies," Tom said with a wink as he led a giggling Lucy back inside the bedroom so they could get ready to leave.
If there was one thing they both loved about their relationship, it was how quickly they resolved their conflicts and moved past them.