Chapter 1: I Died Huh

"Where am I?" wondered Marcus as he looked out in this black misty space.

The room spread as far as the eye could see but there was nothing there. No stars, no landmarks, no ceiling, only a pitch black void with a wet floor and slight mist.

Marcus tried to think back on what happened and how he ended up in this strange place.

He remembered coming back from an manga shop with the latest vol's of some high school of the dead and High school dxd. It's not that he was just into ecchi manga he enjoyed a variety of different genres but school life and the supernatural were his favorite. In fact it was these tastes that lead him into having more than a couple a fights with his stupid parents.

They would pester him to get a job and a social life but Marcus had no interest in that at all. After all, seeing these beautiful illustrations, how could any regular girl compare. They would say mean things like "your 26 move out already and get a wife!" But he would always respond with "2d girls are life!"

All in all it would turn into a battle of attrition that he would always win because his parents were old so they didn't have the energy to fight his otaku fetishes. "Dont underestimate a neets love." He would say to himself. He knew his parents loved him but he couldn't understand why they couldn't just accept his life choices. So what if he still lived at home? So why didn't he have a girlfriend? So what if he was out of shape and fat? 

It wasn't like he was a criminal. He didn't impede other people's lives so why couldn't they mind their own business? 

As he continued to recall what happened he remembered after buying his new treasures he decided to go get a coffee on his way home. Then he remembered crossing at a red light only to hear a blaring horn and see two giant beaming lights.

Then it dawned on him "I died" he said gloomy.

"Nailed in one" said a voice 

Marcus looked around surprised by the response. He couldn't really see anything in the dark mist that surrounded.

"Who's there?" He asked slightly, frightened looking around.

"Up here" said the voice.

Marcus looked up to see an old man with a Gandalf gray beard sitting in some kinda fancy hover chair. The chair looked like a high tech gaming chair with multiple screens and buttons on the armrests.

"Who are you?" He was confused by the old man.

"I've got many names, some call me god others the devil, or the watcher, or maybe the monitor." he said shaking his head tiredly "But you can call me Po."

"OK Po so i'm guessing this is the afterlife right?" 

"That's correct."  

"That means I'm really dead right?"

"Dead as a doornail." He responded.

"So is this heaven or hell?" He asked.

"Neither" He responded flatly. "You could think of this as a sort of limbo."

"OK" he responded, kinda confused. "So why am I here exactly?"

"Well honestly because I don't know what to do with you." He said, stroking his beard. "As you know good souls go to heaven, bad ones to hell but I don't know where to place you."

"Wait, you're saying I'm not good enough for heaven! I'm not bad, I've never hurt or stolen or committed any kind of evil!" He said furious.

"True," the old man agreed. "That's why you're not going to hell but you're not exactly good either are you?" He asked with an eyebrow raised.

"What?" Marcus replied stunned.

"Well I mean think about it, you were 26 years old leeching off your poor old parents. You never hurt anyone but you never helped them either." He said sternly.

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Marcus was stunned and angry by the old man's comments mostly because he couldn't refute them without lying. " I'm dead and I'm still getting criticized." He said annoyed.

"So what now then?" he asked the annoying old man.

"Now you're gonna be reincarnated and get another chance to not live such a useless life." The old man responded with a chuckle.

"Hey! Manga and anime are not useless 2d girls are life! He responded furious by the old man's comment. 

"Uh huh." the old man responded " You tell yourself that often? That's probably why you died a virgin." He said with a laugh.

Marcus became red in the face at the remark either out of anger or embarrassment.

"You know for someone who wasted his life reading nothing but manga and watching nothing but anime, you would think you could've avoided the death by truck trope." he said rolling over laughing in his chair. 

"What kinda god are you?" He asked purple with anger.

"The honest kind stupid boy." He said, wiping tears from his eyes.

The old man's chair descended down toward him hovering just a foot away from him. As the chair came down to his level Marcus stood up and faced the man who was pressing buttons on his dashboard.

"Alright let's send you on your way." He said looking over the screens as his chair seemed to power up.

"Wait, don't I get a say in where I go?" He asked.

"Why would I care where you want to go?" The old man replied not stopping his fingers the whole time. "I just need to send you somewhere you won't die immediately, no offense but I don't want to see you again for a while." 

"Feelings mutual" Marcus responded.

"Don't worry, the world I'm sending you to is just like the one you came from except there are no shellfish." He said waving his hand dismissively as his chair powered up a magic circle appearing under his feet.

Marcus looked down at the circle mesmerized by its appearance and glow. He watched enough anime to know he was gonna be teleported any second.

"I'm setting you up in a good middle class household. Maybe this time don’t leech off their good will, and maybe try some salad from time to time." He said suppressing a laugh looking away while pointing at his round belly.

"That does it!" Marcus yelled, grabbing the old man by his robe and dragging him out of his chair.

The old man was too surprised to do anything while Marcus threw him into the magic circle.

"Wait!" was all the old man could shout before he dispersed in a beam of light.

"God, what an asshole." He calmed down after venting his anger. "So now what do I do?" He asked himself now that he was alone in this infinite empty space.

That's when he noticed the chair the old man was sitting in was still there. That's when Marcus got a terrifying idea.

"I guess I'm making the rules now huh." He said with a wide smile as he approached the god chair and evil plan forming in his mind.

 

 

  

 

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