Chapter 33: 33 31． backbone

When she woke up, she saw the worried faces of her parents.

Surprised and bewildered, she lifted herself up from her bed. She tilted her head inwardly, wondering when she had come home.

"Father ......?　Mother ......?

"Are you okay?　My angel, are you in pain?

"Dear, you must be scared.

Her father stroked her cheek to make sure she was okay, her mother hugged her, and she finally remembered what had happened before she fell asleep.

It's okay.

To be precise, she was fine. Perhaps it was the fact that I had cried so much, but now I could accept it as fact with a calmness that felt strange.

She smiled to reassure her parents, each of them showed relief, and Lydia felt a pang of apology for making them worry so much.

I'm sorry, father and mother. It's a good idea to take a look at the website and see if you can find anything that might help you.

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When she heard that the gardener's apprentice had fallen asleep, she was angry at first, but as time went on, her concern got the better of her. Thinking about it, she even felt guilty because he had fallen into the pond in an attempt to save her.

Normally, when it was time for me to go see him, my worry and guilt got the best of me and I begged Katrin to go see him. I was the one who pushed her, saying that a glance at his face would reassure her.

At the time, I didn't think anything like that would happen. I didn't want Katrin to suffer the consequences of my disregard for myself.

"No.

I'm not sure what to do, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it.

You'll have to get a lesson from the head maid.

When Ludia looks up, Gerald smiles with one eye closed.

I'm not sure what to do.

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I'm sorry.

Gerald smiled at his beloved daughter as she turned over in her mother's arms.

I didn't mean to scold you, Dear. ......

Why are you ......?

It is you who should be scolded. Even a father who loves his family as much as he does will not overlook this matter. Ludia looked questioningly at her father. The same color of his eyes narrowed softly.

He's already scolded you.

The same color eyes narrowed softly.

The gardener's apprentice boy she went to see blackmailed her the moment he saw her, and was the first to blame her if she survived. I was very surprised because I thought he was just worried about me and relieved that I was safe. I was embarrassed to realize that somewhere I had thought he was soft on me.

I didn't want to be spoiled, but now I realized that I had been spoiled by him.

I also realized that I had worried him enough to make him do so, by the strength of his hand and the trembling in his voice. She remembered the heat of his hands and squeezed them tightly together.

He squeezed her hands, remembering the heat of her grip.

Dia doesn't stop at remorse, does she?

"Yes .......

I decided not to make him sad again. She was determined not to let him grieve again, and she nodded her head in her mother's arms.

So, for now, let's just be happy that he is safe and sound.

A few days later, Roy, the first prince, came to visit Lydia as well.

He took her to one of the reception rooms, which had many glass doors on the wall facing the garden and colorful orchids peeking through them. The view of the garden from the room was like a painting, Roy said with a sparkling smile.

As usual, he sent Katrin, the maid who had finished preparing the tea, to go downstairs and pay her respects. As he sipped his hot tea, Roy smiled, his honey-colored eyes melting in the heat of the fireplace.

"Well, what can I do for you?　Miss Ludia.

I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that I'm not the only one.

You told me to use ...... before.

Yes.

Roy affirmed with a smile the conditions under which he had discussed the engagement. In exchange for restricting Ludia to her engagement, he offered her the right to take advantage of Roy and his fiancée's position.

I'll take advantage of you, then.

With a determination that would have been considered disrespectful, Lydia said, "You will be engaged to me.

"You mean you will marry me?

She nodded her head in confirmation of Roy's words.

Yes. At the moment, there is no one more suitable for me to marry than Roy.

"May I ask why?

Roy asked, not why they were getting engaged, but why they were making the decision.

I want to be able to protect the people I care about.

I don't want to cause anyone any grief. I don't want to make anyone sad. I want a future where at least those within my reach can smile.

That's why I want to know the world.

I don't want to know everything about the world, I want to know what the world around me is like so that I can know my own worth and figure out what to do with myself. As a mere duchess, she can only see a small world. The quickest way that Ludia could think of was to get engaged to Roy, a member of the royal family.

So she uses Roy. The restrictions that come with being related to royalty are also convenient for Lydia, who cannot protect herself on her own.

Roy blinked once at the determined look in Lydia's eyes, and then his face broke into a smile.

"Well, Miss Lydia is very dignified.

"Please don't talk like Zak. ......

Although he is using feminine language, the way Roy is saying it now is the way he would say it if he were being complimented on his coolness by a young apprentice gardener. Lydia's eyes are half-lidded, not feeling complimented. Roy was like him in a strange way.

Unlike him, however, he was quick to apologize.

Well, I guess we have a deal. I look forward to working with you, my fiancé.

Roy got up from his chair, walked over and held out his hand to Lydia.

Ludia stood up and shook his hand back.

I look forward to working with you. Sir Roy.

Oh, and," Roy added with a smile, "of course, you can beg either of us.

Of course, if either of you find someone to beg, we'll call off the engagement, so let's not hide anything about that.

"Okay, ......, but do you have someone in mind, Roy?

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.

I don't know yet.

"Yes?

I haven't met him yet.

It's a certainty that we will meet. Lydia tilted her head, unsure of where his certainty came from. Roy just smiled back at her and didn't seem to want to discuss the details.

Roy then offers a possibility.

"Maybe Miss Lydia will meet you first.

I'm .......

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Neither denial nor affirmation came out immediately, and Lydia was at a loss for words. What on earth caught in her throat?

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"Master Roy?

I'm sure you'll be able to understand that I'm not the only one who has a problem with this.

I didn't realize it until Roy told me. Both Ludia and Roy were talking about their fiancé without taking into account the possibility that he might fall in love with her.

Of course, there's no reason to dislike someone you have feelings for, but only as a friend.

That's what I thought.

It's funny when you realize that you want to be engaged to someone you'll never like. Ludia was filled with laughter and laughed along with him.

After laughing for a while, they looked at each other.

I like you, Roy.

"I like you too, Miss Lydia.

It's easy to tell each other, and easy to receive.

They are the kind of people you will never love, but also the kind of people you will never hate.

In a corner of her mind, Lydia thinks that she must have made a big decision. But with him as a co-conspirator, it doesn't seem like such a big deal.

Will I ever regret the decision I made that day?

I think about it and immediately shake my head.

I had a near certainty that I would be proud of it, but I would not regret it.

As the year drew to a close, Roy and Lydia's engagement was officially announced at the New Year's party.

A few days later, Lydia was strolling alone in the garden of her mansion. At the party, many people had made a fuss about the engagement, but when she was in the garden of her house, it was so quiet that it seemed like a lie.

The only sound in the winter garden was the short patter of Lydia's steps.

She followed a familiar and unusual path. Before she knew it, she was able to reach her destination by herself. Can we call this growth, Rydia thinks to herself.

He is the one who usually guides her, so she unknowingly hums a little song.

Then he put on the hood of his cloak and stepped through the hedge.

In the open field of vision, a fountain covered with Western ivy sat in a field of bright white sunlight. The ivy was not rooted directly in the fountain, but was entwined with a fence made of wood that circled the fountain.

The person who must have arranged the fountain in such a way as to take care of it was huddled beside the fountain, working.

"Huh?　Miss?

As I watched, a young apprentice gardener noticed me and looked up. He had dirt on his cheeks, probably from wiping sweat off his hands.

Ludia smiled at the dirt, which he probably hadn't noticed.

It's not ready yet.

He muttered, regretting that he couldn't show it to her in its finished state. She moved next to the apprentice gardener and looked at what he was working on.

"A rabbit?

There it was, a white rabbit with the white fur of a chrysanthemum and the red eyes of a benibenkei.

It would hold up better than a snow rabbit, right?

There was only one rabbit painted on the edge of the fountain for people to sit and look at, but he said it was not yet finished, so there might be more.

It's cute.

The apprentice gardener breathed a sigh of relief at Lydia's comment, perhaps unsure of his artistic ability.

He must have remembered that his father, Gerald, had even cast a spell on him last year when he was disappointed that the snow rabbit had melted. The fact that he remembered each and every little memory and his kindness filled my heart with warmth.

I'd like to show it to Flora when it's finished.

"Oh, yes!

When I told him that my sister would be happy to see it, he smiled and agreed. Now that he had an idea of what to do next, Ludia was looking forward to the near future.

When he was about to go back to work, she stopped him.

"Zak.

What is it?

The apprentice gardener turns his head and waits for the next word.

Inhaling a breath of cool air, Lydia said, "I don't need a dance partner anymore.

"I don't need a dance understudy anymore.

"What?

"I am engaged to Master Roy.

The air she inhaled made her feel as if her heart had been chilled. I was just telling him the truth.

The apprentice gardener's copper eyes rolled back in his head, and after a beat, he seemed to understand.

"Am I allowed to say congratulations?

Lydia laughed at the caring question. You're worried about what Lydia wants first? He's really putting himself first.

I don't know.

"What?

Because I like you, Roy, but I don't like you.

He's just like the prince in my favorite picture book. He's the best thing that ever happened to the Ernst family. It would be strange not to like him.

But there's nothing to be done about it, because the strange thing has actually happened.

The boy, an apprentice gardener, shows signs of thinking carefully.

"You don't mind, do you, ......?

When asked for final confirmation, Lydia smiled radiantly.

It's my decision.

"I see. You're a cool girl.

He received no compliments, good or bad, just his highest compliments. I see him smile quietly and feel a little more mature.

I'm not happy.

"I'm complimenting you.

I'm not complimenting you.

When I deliberately peeled it off, he gave me a proud smile. When he smiled at me like that, it made me want to be someone he could be proud of.

"Would you like to play one last song for me?

Ludia lifted her hand lightly, and the apprentice gardener knew exactly what to do, tucking his gloves into his pants pocket and taking her hand reverently.

"With pleasure.

They hummed the rhythm of a waltz and danced around the fountain.

Ludia straightened her back.

That was the first compliment he had given her.

No matter what the future holds, I will stand tall.

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