Chapter 9: 2.2

The offer still loomed as Matsukura appeared to be eyeing me; this brought about a faint feeling of awkwardness.

At times like this, I wish I could learn voluntary telepathy. Unfortunately, such abilities are purely fictitious, so I'll settle for staring back at the person to assert dominance.

So I slightly turned my head to the left of me and gave Matsukura a glare that could have been comparable to a penance stare, which immediately caused him to cease his actions.

Within a few moments, Takawana picked up on what was occurring and asked, "Would that be fine with you, Yamaguri?"

"Uh..."

A different response is already formulating in my head.

"He appears to be hesitating, which is an obvious sign Takanawa."

It’s not like I can just come out and scream "NO," so I’m attempting to formulate the perfect way to reject their offer. Matsukura, to be specific; Takawana is fine, but because they are friends, they come as a package deal to my dismay.

I rubbed both my temples and let out a sigh. The situation wasn’t stressful or anything along those lines; it was more like annoying.

"Um sure, I guess?"

"Heh? Sure you guess? Before I befriend you, there’s a test that you need to pass first."

Test? What the heck is this—some sort of fantasy? Of course not; after all, this is real life. Unless those conspiracy theorists were right about this being a simulation, or as some would further call it, the matrix, it’s not the second one either, because I would have easily dodged all these situations as if I were Neo.

"Here you go again," complained Takanawa.

"What are you even speaking about?" I asked.

"This is my way of judging what type of person you are."

"Wouldn’t it be easier to just ask?"

"For some people, lying is as easy as breathing, so I prefer to rely on my own gut feeling," retorted Matsukura, who wiped his nose with his index finger.

"So I have the appearance of a liar?" I inquired in a joking manner.

Clearly not picking up on my witticisms, Matsukura pushed his glasses onto his nose bridge while speaking in a solemn manner.

"I’m going to ask you a question, and based on the answer, I’ll deem you friend worthy or not."

Is he Odin or something?

How did we go from him asking to be my friend to him attempting to see if I was a worthy person? This is quite a turn of events, but I’ll play along and see what this great, soul-baring inquiry is.

Takawana pulled on the collar of his shirt before he turned to Matsukura with a straight face. "Are you seriously going to ask that question right now?"

"I have no choice but to find out if he is an honorable person."

Now I’m very much interested in this question, so much so that I felt a little tingle in my body.

"Alright, well, ask away."

Matsukura inhaled a deep breath and turned to me in a dramatic fashion. Something that could have completed this scene would have been some equally dramatic Bollywood edits.

I waited with bated breath, bracing myself for the much-awaited question.

"So do you prefer ass or tits?"

“Eh?”

A brief look of confusion appeared on my face as I heard those seven words. Takawana sighed. "You actually asked him the question and mind you, I believe it’s a very stupid question.”

Not what one would expect in a supposedly tense situation such as this. I honestly expected him to say JK before bursting out into jolly laughter and then asking me the actual question, but no, it was none of that because his face was genuinely serious.

"This question has weeded out the good from the bad, so answer it, Yamaguri."

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I exhaled sharply through my nose.

Ass or tits? Derriere or bosoms? This is an age-old question that has been asked for hundreds of years, and the wrong answer surely meant a swift death or sometimes a prolonged demise via stoning or having you take a ride on the Spanish Donkey.

Visually speaking, bosoms are almost enchanting; a nice pair just automatically grabs your attention, but it’s hard to find a female with your preferred size. Even though I have a predilection for certain things grande, however, bosoms don’t fall into that category. The best way to describe my ideal one would be to picture a perfectly sized grapefruit.

Ass, on the other hand, is also eye-catching. Something about a nicely shaped derriere is aesthetically pleasing, especially in the right outfit. I’ve been like, "Wow, that’s a great ass" a couple of times before, and the same thing goes with tits.

However, people tend to leave out another major contender, known as the thighs.

My argument for this dark horse is: have you honestly ever just been squished in-between a girl's thighs? Using the thighs of an Amazonian woman as a lap pillow sounds comfortable, right? I don’t have a preference; it could be thick or slim thighs; I love them equally, so with all things considered, as a confident lawyer would say, I rest my case.

It took a few moments to deliberate on the offered options, but I was soon ready. Once the moment for the highly anticipated answer came, a couple of females stood near us, which made it even more difficult. They weren't from our class, but still, all it takes is one person to say something, and it spreads like wildfire, especially in an environment such as a high school and when said by a high school girl. As a result, rumors are extremely common. One must never underestimate a high school girl's social web.

"Well, I’m waiting." Matsukura impatiently remarked, clearly ignorant of the people standing near us.

I gave the females a sidelong glance while remaining silent, not wanting to risk these females hearing my answer because I'm sure just saying ass or tits will cause them to add two plus two and get twenty-four.

Unfortunately, Matsukura, who still refuses to read the situation, impatiently insists that I give my answer. My eyes met with Takanawa's, and he immediately understood everything as I expected him to; he looks like someone who has a bit of understanding after all. Takanawa then attempted to persuade his friend into dropping the question or at least waiting a bit more time for the answer.

"No, no. I want an answer right here and right now," insisted Matsukura, and mentally I was screaming at him to take a hint.

Personally, I considered three options: typing it on my phone or simply showing him the screen, but I was too lazy to pull out my device.

Whispering my answer, but I doubt he’d accept that. Matsukura appears to be the type to make you say something with your chest, especially in these scenarios.

Morse code with my eyes, but the issue with that is, do these people even know Morse code?

I closed my eyes and summoned the necessary energy; this was going to require expert maneuvering, like a driver reversing down a winding hill with no guard rails in the dead of night during a snowstorm with several passengers pleading with him to take it easy.

"To answer that question, it has to be personality."

I decided to completely go the safe route, which is equivalent to just remaining in the exact spot until safer conditions present themselves.

"This man is clearly a heretic, Takanawa!" exclaimed Matsukura, who threw both hands in the air, which caused the females to look in our direction before leaving. His sudden outburst scared them off, and right now would be the perfect time to reveal my true answer, but the damage was already done.

Takanawa, slightly embarrassed, apologized on behalf of his friend.

"Please ignore this idiot; he brands anyone who doesn’t go with the second option a heretic."

So Matsukura is a tits guy, I see. Not a terrible choice; I’ve heard those types of men can be considered extremists at times.

"It sounds like he wants to burn me at the stake."

"Burning him at the stake would be a start. Takawana I don’t think we should align ourselves with him."

Are we in Babylonia? How does one jump to that method of execution so quickly?

Takawana sighed. "I’m sorry once again, but I don’t mind being friends even if he acts a bit dramatic."

Matsukura paused and said, "So I’ve been betrayed."

I’m not quite sure what’s happening right now.

"A person’s preference doesn’t make him a bad person, and stop being dramatic."

Matsukura eyed me one last time before giving in.

"I suppose you’re right."

No, like, what the hell is really going on right now? Is this how friendships are supposed to be formed?

However, it’s already too late right now because I already dipped my toes into the water

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