Chapter 4: ☆ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴏᴜʀ ☆

★彡[ᴜʀᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴀɴɢᴇʟ]彡★

☾☉☉☉☽

In Cosmos Administration’s eleventh Communications Room, it’s dark. The ceiling lights are off, and inside, there is only the dim glow of technology. Anyone outside, passing by in the hallway, would think it was empty. But it isn’t: Cupid hasn’t left.

“Are you trying to show off?” Cupid questions, because most of the dots on the computer he’s observing are moving off-screen, which meant Saturn had won against another fleet at an unreasonably fast pace!

“Yeah! Are you impressed yet? Or should I try harder?”

“I’m very impressed. You’re incredible.”

They were scared off so easily! And Cupid should probably have been scared off too. He knows more than anyone what the Kraken Mare is like. Is it okay for someone to have that kind of power? To let someone play God? Cosmos Administration doesn’t care. Cupid does care, but he doesn’t mind if its Saturn!

…That’s a silly thought. Why should anyone get an exception?

“Please, go on. Tell me more!”

“I don’t think I should. God forbid you get an even bigger ego.”

Cupid’s having fun, which is a terrible idea, because at the end of the day, Saturn and Cupid will be separated forever, one brave enough to fight for a future in space, and the other bound to Earth by naïve hopefulness. Having fun is… really dumb! Saying “goodbye” will hurt a lot more this way, won’t it?

Oh well!

“What’d be wrong with that?”

“You’re already insufferable, imagine how much worse you’d be!”

Cupid smiles, soft. He feels like a fool for this— for helping Saturn, for enjoying their banter, for being attached…He really is head over heels! Isn’t that annoying? Being infatuated with someone who will never feel the same way back? Maybe! Cupid doesn’t mind, though. He has a big heart and he’s used to it being trampled on!

He tries very hard to like everyone and everything! But people tend to not like him back. (Which hurts! And they’re not sorry, but he forgives them anyways!)

To them, Cupid doesn’t feel human enough. (What does it mean to be a real human being?) He is something less than, something alien: a Uranian angel who’s fallen from humanity’s good graces. Why do you think he likes Saturn? They’re different! Saturn is one of few who can understand him in a way that matters.

Children of the stars, sons of space, they’re something else!

Cupid’s thoughts drift as the conversation lulls. There are so many things to think about! Like what the future has in store for him; he’s not sure what do when Cosmos Administration is gone. It’s difficult to imagine a life without it. But Cupid isn’t scared. He’s excited!

After a long pause of silence, Saturn speaks up: “Cupid.” His tone has shifted into something more serious. It’s very unlike him! “You don’t need to do this.”

Cupid bites his tongue. “But I want to.” There’s more that he can say, but he’d rather not!

“Why though?” The Kraken Mare is stationary in an endless void. It’s waiting for another foe. It’s remained in pristine condition: unnicked, unmarked. Can anyone touch it?

“Why am I helping you?”

“No, why do you want to help?”

“Well, it’s not like I have anything better to do.”

“You want to help cause you’re bored? I don’t buy that.” Saturn crosses his arms, shutting his eyes. “…It was a one-time thing, you know?”

“I know! I know,” Cupid insists. “I’m not after anything more if that’s what you’re thinking.” He isn’t! He’s not that selfish and he’s not that conniving. “I’m content with things staying exactly as they are, I promise.”

You promise?

Do you mean it?

 

✦✧✩✧✦

 

It’s dark. We cannot see anything, but we can feel our breathing, our pulses, tongue to tongue, skin to skin, limbs entangled. It’s hot—no, it’s comfortably warm, the opposite of those unbearable summers on Venus. Our bodies merge—we cannot tell where one starts or the other begins.

This is heaven (it’s hell, but it feels better than we ever imagined).

All we can hear are ourselves. All that there is is us.

For a moment, we relish in being less than—

—and oh, what a joy that is.

 

✦✧✩✧✦

 

This was to be expected. Cupid knew it would come; it’s his own fault for letting himself think otherwise. How foolish of him! A genuine imbecile.

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Cupid sinks in his chair, listening to the footsteps outside. To the click of the lock, to the twist of the doorknob, to the creak of the door as it opens.

“Oh,” Cupid says, stunned. “How… did you get in here?”

Caju shows off a silver key, twirling it around his finger, looking very pleased with himself. It’s cute! “I walked into Titan’s office and stole the key off his desk. You’d think he’d hide it better.” Caju sneers. He steps further inside, shutting the door behind him. “So! You’re smart. Guess why I’m here.”

“Did you come to see me?” Cupid jests, clasping his hands together. “Am I that special?”

Caju looks unamused. “I thought you were cleverer than that.”

Cupid regards Caju, tilting his head. “Did you want to talk to Saturn, too? I’m sorry. He just hung up on me and wouldn’t answer if you tried.” Caju tenses and Cupid smiles. “Are you jealous that I got to say goodbye and you didn’t?”

Caju flushes. “I’m gonna kill you.”

“Please don’t,” Cupid responds, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I’m too pretty to die.”

“Yeah, pretty obnoxious.” Caju huffs. He strides closer, staring Cupid down. “Move.”

Cupid obliges, standing up and getting out of the way. He lets Caju try—and fail—to contact Saturn. “I told you he wouldn’t answer,” Cupid mumbles. People are so easy to read! Saturn is so predictable!

Caju attempts again. And again.

“Ugh!” Caju yells, stomping his foot on the ground. “What an asshole!”

Cupid hums in agreement. “If it makes you feel any better,” he starts, plopping back into his chair, “his goodbye was abrupt and awful. You aren’t missing out.”

Cupid understood why Saturn had hung up—Saturn had explained it, after all: “I don’t want either of us getting used to this. And I think it’s better to cut each other off now rather than letting Pandora or Titan barge in and do it for us—don’t let them have the satisfaction.”

He knew going in that it wasn’t a good idea. He brought this upon himself. It was his idea to help Saturn and he knew it wouldn’t last. It was his own fault.

But it was too sudden. He didn’t want Saturn to leave him.

“Sorry,” Cupid says, wiping away the string of pearls falling from his eyes. He doesn’t want to cry. He sniffles, takes a breath, and he’s stopped. He has no shame in feeling sad, but this isn’t just that. It’s flying too close to the sun, ignoring the voice telling you “don’t” and suffering the consequences. He can’t cry over that! “He disappeared on you without a word. You’re probably more upset than I am, huh? You should be the one crying.”

“I’m not upset, I’m seething,” Caju corrects. “Don’t cry over someone who wouldn’t cry over you, or something like that. Saturn isn’t worth it. He doesn’t deserve your tears. He left everyone behind—isn’t that unforgivable? If I see his face again, I’m breaking his nose.”

Caju doesn’t mean that last part! Mostly.

He takes a seat to Cupid’s right. “I’m serious. He isn’t worth it.”

“I know. And you know he isn’t worth it, too, yet here we are anyways—getting sad and angry over him. It’s embarrassing.” He laughs. It’s somber.

Caju clicks his tongue. “Guess I’m a hypocrite.”

“You are,” Cupid says. “Would you have gone with him if he asked?”

“Of course I would’ve,” Caju says. He didn’t hesitate. “I’d call him stupid, but I would’ve.” Saturn should’ve asked. Saturn should’ve said something—anything. Caju’s infuriated! How dare Saturn forget him? Why didn’t he get a goodbye?

“I figured as much.” Cupid fidgets. “Actually, I’m surprised you like him that badly. I thought… you and Sao…?”

“That,” Caju hisses, flustered, “is none of your fucking business. Don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong, or you’ll get punched by someone like me.”

Cupid chuckles. “You’re right! I’m sorry.”

If they wanted to say anything more to one another, it was too late. The door, now unlocked, easily slams open, Pandora barging in. She glares: at Caju, then at Cupid, who isn’t used to the cold irritation she emanates. He’s never gotten on her bad side before!

“Did you think,” Pandora says, “that the world would accept you when you both look like that?”

It’s a rhetorical question, but neither is thinking of the answer Pandora wants them to. They’re thinking ‘no, and I don’t care what they think’ and ‘yes, and I hoped one day they would’. “It’s no wonder that humanity doesn’t support Cosmos Administration.” Pandora sighs, exasperated. “You two have been helping Saturn, haven’t you?”

“Guilty,” Cupid says.

“I just got here,” Caju says, and Pandora doesn’t believe him.

“You’re all a thorn in my side. Why are you like this?” She pinches the bridge of her noise. “Do I need to give you busy work to keep you out of trouble? I have an idea: what if I kill two birds with one stone?”

Cupid and Caju share a glance.

“Cupid, how about,” Pandora says, “you keep Sao company? Go with him to the colonies and assist him if he asks. It’ll be done faster with you there. I hope.” Cupid does not object. “And Caju,” Pandora continues, “I need you to go fetch Saturn.”

“I didn’t even do anything wrong! I’m not doing your damn busy work—”

“Oh, shut up,” Pandora snaps. “You always fought with Saturn anyways. Now that I’m giving you permission to beat the shit out of him, you won’t do it? What’s one more battle?”

Caju looks like he wants to mangle her.

“Good. Now that that’s sorted out…” Her glare intensifies. “Get to it.”

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