Chapter 65: Chapter 65

The conversation with Sun Yi (although it was less of a conversation and more like Sun Fang just ranting) stuck in his memory. He hated it. It patently was not what he’d run away for—he was supposed to be done with the Sun Family. He was supposed to not think about them, to know nothing about them other than to laugh at their scandals. They were supposed to be out of his life—for good.

Never to return. Never to want to return. 

”Fuck,” he muttered into his hands, scowling. His hair was wild and loose, frizzy at the edges from all the times he’d ran his hands through it. He hated this, hated this, hated this. This was not what he wanted, this was what he had explicitly worked so hard to make sure it would never happen. Shit, he needed to stop taking Sun Yi’s calls, no matter his curiosity. He needed to block the damn brat on every single fucking social media in existence. He needed to blacklist the brat’s name on Stargazer, and Marcus’ too, for that matter.

He’d been lazy. He’d been happy, and he’d been free. And he’d thought that that would be enough to keep his mood up, to keep him happy. But—no. No, it wasn’t. Consistently exposing himself to things he knew would make unhappy was…

He felt Ivy sitting down next to him on the bed, and Sun Fang just drew his knees up closer to his chest. He curled his arm around them, hid his face in his knees, wondered how much work it’d take to move to another planet, one even further from the Sun Family’s territory. It would mean being further away from Mianmian and Casey and even Deng Xi but. But it would maybe be better for him.

Ah, fuck, it’d mean leaving Mo Cheng behind, too. And Poppy, his new friend Poppy, that was nice and sweet and happy. And. And. 

Fuck.

”I am going to hug you now,” Ivy said, sitting almost close enough to touch. It added, ”Please tap the bed three times in quick succession if you don’t want me to hug you.”

Sun Fang didn’t move. Ivy scooted closer and put it arms around Sun Fang, hugging him first loosely for a few minutes, until Sun Fang tipped over and landed half his body on Ivy. Ivy then quickly tightened the hug, it’s cold skin a shock to Sun Fang’s system. But the skin turned warm soon enough, as Ivy engaged the warm water to run through its facsimile of veins in order to warm up its whole body. It wasn’t usually something it did on Guillotine.

He closed his eyes. Didn’t say a word, ignored whatever his thoughts was doing, and stayed still. Ivy’s arms were tight around him, almost painfully so. Sun Fang felt like he could fall apart here, and Ivy would probably still be able to hold all his pieces together. (Maybe it could even hold them all long enough to glue him back together.)

”I should have blocked Sun Yi,” Sun Fang muttered into Ivy’s shoulder, wishing he had music. Loud, overwhelming music, to drown out all his feelings. He didn’t want to think about this, didn’t want to acknowledge its existence.

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”I can do so for you, if you want,” Ivy offered in a low, somber tone. It didn’t fit its usual voice, but then, it didn’t often feel like it was needed. 

Sun Fang sucked in a harsh breath, clenching his hands on the duvets and clinging to them. He tipped more of his weight onto Ivy, allowed himself to give the burden of keeping him in one piece to Ivy. He kept his eyes closed, forced his breathing to remain steady, ignored the irritated buzz in his ears and the pressure behind his eyes.

He sniffled, keeping his mouth shut. But yes, he wanted Ivy to block Sun Yi for him, so he nodded his head. Ivy said, ”It will be done. Do not worry about it anymore, Young Master.”

Sun Fang sniffled again. He tried to force the burning in his eyes to stop, tried to think of something that would interrupt it. But his mind was empty and his chest was heavy and his legs trembled and his stomach hurt. He pressed his face harder into Ivy’s neck, pressed as close to his butler as he could get, really. He wished… he wished for this all to just go away already.

”Do you want to watch a movie with me, Fang’er?” Ivy asked. Sun Fang stilled, his eyebrows furrowing, but his eyes remained closed and he continued to cling. Ivy continued, ”I have a cake in the fridge that you can snack on while we watch it, Xiao Fang. It’s very delicious, you enjoyed it a lot before.”

The burning in his eyes finally reached the limit, and something wet trailed down from his eyes. Ivy asked, ”A’Fang, will you allow me to pick you up and move you to the couch?”

After a moment, Sun Fang nodded against Ivy’s shoulder. He felt Ivy grip his thighs and pick him up, Sun Fang leaning toward Ivy and curling his arms around Ivy’s neck. He held on, pretending that nothing was happening, and was eventually placed carefully on the couch in the living room. Sun Fang finally opened his eyes, then, mutely watching Ivy turn on the TV and put on an old movie. 

Ivy pulled a blanket all the way up to his chin, despite the fact that it just slid back down because of gravity, and put a pillow on his lap. ”I will be right back, Fang’er,” Ivy said, patting him softly on the head. ”I will just get cake and fizzy soda for you. Do not worry about a thing.”

Sun Fang sniffled, rubbing his eyes, and nodded. Ivy smiled at him, patted him one more time, and left. Sun Fang could still hear it, could still track its progress through the apartment and into the kitchen, where the fridge and cupboards were instantly thrown open. Pulling the pillow to his chest and hugging it tightly, Sun Fang stared at the motionless TV screen and waited for Ivy to return.