Chapter 72: Chapter 72

Deng Xi growled, ”Sun Fang…” as soon as Sun Fang accepted the incoming call. Tilting his head to the side, Sun Fang made a questioning humming noice in his throat and his cousin instantly growled, seemingly very frustrated, ”Ivy! You never told me what happened with Ivy! It’s been almost a week, Sun Fang! I’m your cousin!”

”Ivy’s fine,” Sun Fang unhurriedly reassured his cousin. ”Thank you for your help,” he added after a moment, when he’d only been met by the sound of heavy breathing.

”You’re so annoying,” Deng Xi muttered and Sun Fang narrowed his eyes. Before he could say anything, Deng Xi continued, ”When I help you like this, you’re supposed to let me know how things end, Sun Fang! I’m your stupid cousin so call me sometimes!”

”I’m talking to you right now, aren’t I?” Sun Fang said, moving his phone to the table and putting it on loudspeaker. He’d just been about to paint his fingernails lovely shade of silver when his cousin called, and he saw no reason why he couldn’t do it while on the phone. He was pretty good at multitasking, after all.

”I called you!” Deng Xi erupted, truly furious. His cousin’s breaths were heaving and he really seemed to be angry about this. Sun Fang opened the bottle of nail-polish and pulled out the brush.

”Yes, yes, I’ll call you more often,” he mumbled, placing his hand on the kitchen table and frowning as he concentrated. He was not the best at getting the nail-polish to go exactly where he wanted it, he would admit, and so he had to focus.

”Not good enough,” Deng Xi declared and harrumphed. He continued, ”I’m calling you every week from now, until you get so used to my calls that you’ll be calling me every week just out of reflex! You won’t be able to escape again, Sun Fang!”

Sun Fang’s lips twitched and he laughed softly, swearing, ”Shit,” when the trembling caused the polish to go out of bounds. Wanting to keep his multitasking a secret, he thusly said (while furiously trying to wipe off the paint before it dried with another nail), ”Your wicked plan will never work, cousin. I have far more self-control than you realize.”

Deng Xi just said, ”We’ll see about that.”

Sun Fang laughed again, and once more ruined his nails. Scowling, he asked, ”So how’s the baby and Mianmian?” He looked around for a piece of paper (there was too much paint for him to just scrape it off with his nails this time) and smiled when he found it. He used it to clean up the lines while Deng Xi instantly got to talking.

”…and you know that Mianmian really misses you,” Deng Xi finally stopped talking. 

Sun Fang said, ”I miss him, too, but I think a little distance is good for us right now.”

”Right, because you’re inn love with him,” Deng Xi said. Then, instantly, while Sun Fang sat frozen, his cousin swore, ”Fuck, I didn’t mean to say that.”

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Sun Fang licked his lips, placing the nail-polish brush back in the tiny bottle and squeezed out, ”You know?” He closed his eyes as he waited for his cousin’s judgment. Being in love with his cousin’s husband was really… really not something he should be.

Deng Xi’s voice was low as he said, ”I never met Mianmian while you were dating. And I never saw any pictures of him—you used to hoard them like a jealous dragon, remember. And you never, ever called him Mianmian around us, it was always Martin this and Martin that. But the way you spoke about him… you were so in love with him, Sun Fang, that I almost hated you for it. I wanted to love like that, too. I was young and I thought life was flashing me by, and I wanted to have an epic love story before it was too late.”

Sun Fang pressed a hand over his mouth and curled in on himself a little, pulling up his legs onto the chair. Deng Xi continued, ”But you broke up decades ago, and I forgot about it eventually. It was just one relationship among many, and though you never really loved like that again, I thought you’d moved on. I thought the intensity was because it’d been your first proper relationship and because you was so young.”

Deng stopped and took a deep breath, clearly audible even over the phone. He said, ”Mianmian and I started dating, and I fell in love. And it wasn’t the overwhelming love I remember you had, but it was… ah, I can’t really explain. And then I introduced my boyfriend to the family, and I saw your face. And I saw Mianmian’s face. And I thought; ah, so that’s how it is.”

”I’m sorry, I—”

”There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Deng Xi interrupted, sniffling a little. ”We can’t control our feelings. Mianmian loves me, I know. And he loves Casey. And he still loves you. Just like you still love him.”

”How can you…?” Sun Fang mumbled and took a deep breath. ”How can you just say that?”

”We’ve been walking around it on eggshells for years, Sun Fang. I shouldn’t have brought it up. But.” Deng Xi fell silent for a moment, then said, ”A’Fang, you’re my cousin. I love you. I don’t want you to be unhappy. I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy.”

Sun Fang laughed wetly, his eyes stinging. ”I have moved on. I am happy. I don’t need Mianmian to be happy. I just… love him, still.”

Deng Xi didn’t say anything to that. Sun Fang didn’t blame him. He didn’t know what to say now, either. For years and years, he’d nursed a love for Mianmian that would never return, thinking that they would never see each other again, and then he’d walked into his cousin’s home and Mianmian was just there. And maybe it knocked something loose in him, something he’d kept locked in his chest for decades. 

But. He wasn’t lying. Sun Fang didn’t need to have Mianmian to be happy.

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