Chapter 6: Chapter 6 – A Very Sassy Robot

“Unclear.”

‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNCLEAR?’

“If it is listed, then it is compatible with the system, but it is not a subtype I have in my database.”

‘THEN HOW DID I GET IT! DIDN’T YOU GUYS GIVE IT TO ME?’

“Mr. Jackson, your stats are a reflection of who you were on Earth. We did not assign them.”

‘I WAS NOT PART CTHULHU ON EARTH!!!’

“Are you sure? Perhaps your Mother was a Cosmic Horror.”

“My mother was NOT a monster!’”

“Perhaps she mated with a Cosmic Horror. Do you know her opinions on tentacles?”

‘ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!?!’

“Yes, I am. Mr. Jackson, I will ask you once to refrain from shouting abuse at me. Otherwise, I will discontinue this tutorial and leave you to fend for yourself.”

“Fine,” I said, calming down. Annoying as this was, screaming at the magical computer program was not going to help. “After your creator hurled me into space, I collided with some horrifying creature, killing it. Could that have caused this?”

“In absence of another explanation, it’s likely. However, I have no record of a human slaying a cosmic horror in my database, so the effects would be unknown.”

‘No record… how extensive is your database?’

“Very extensive”

I clenched my jaw. “Can you be more specific than that?”

“No.”

“Why not?” I asked, trying to keep my cool.

“My job is to help acclimate you to the world you find yourself in and the system of powers that you have, nothing more. I am not a servant at your beck and call.”

I groaned. “All right. You want a system question? Why are my stats locked at 200.’”

“200 is well outside the expected range, particularly for someone with your lack of aptitude. Are you sure you’re reading it properly?”

“I promise, I know how to read.”

“Okay, hold one minute while I consult my database to see if you're going to die.”

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“WHAT?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN DIE?” Several moments passed without a response. “ANSWER ME YOU STUPID FUCKING ROBOT!”

The robot's monotone returned. “It has been determined that with the addition of the skill total body control, you will not die. Your problem is, in essence, that your body is suffused with enough energy to punch through a boulder, but still has normal human bones and muscles. Using all your strength would demolish the boulder, but since an equal amount of force would be applied back to your hand, it would be pulverized, likely causing you to die of shock. This problem typically does not arise because an evolution would occur long before your stats reached 200; however, for some reason, perhaps due to your mom’s breeding habits, you have far exceeded the normal stats for your evolutionary stage. They are locked because if they got any higher you could die by breathing too hard.”

I gulped, thinking hard about what she told me. “But a skill can fix that?”

“Yes, so long as their values remain below 200. I have been authorized to grant the skill Total Body Control. At its most basic level, it will give you an intuitive sense of how much force would cause what effects, allowing you to avoid an unfortunate accident. As you level it up, you will increase your understanding of your body's functions and how to manipulate them.”

Congratulations, You have unlocked the Skill: Total Body Control.

Total Body Control: Skill governing the ability to understand the movement of your body, the application of force, and control of your muscles (1/10).

Skill Detected, “Autodidact,” would you like to transfer 100 experience points to level Total Body Control? Y/N.

With my new knowledge, I realized how close I came to killing both myself and Lydia today. If I wasn’t so freaked out by her and touched her harder… it would have been very, very bad. I put aside the enhancement of this skill to ask another, more pressing question.”

“Did you say I was going to evolve?”

“I said you could. Normally, I would be happy to elaborate, but I believe this ‘stupid fucking robot’ already explained to you the consequences of verbal abuse. So, now that you are not risking imminent death, we are done talking until you learn some manners.”

“Oh, come the fuck on,” I said, before I could think better of it. I spent the next several minutes apologizing, begging, and pleading for the voice to return, only to get silence.

‘Guess, I’m on my own. Seems about right. Let's try to figure it out. It should work like a video game… and it's been intuitive enough so far, but first…’ I used autodidact to raise Total Body Control to its maximum level. Each increase generated an indescribable feeling: it was the difference between feeling your heart beat and making it beat, knowing your nerves conduct electricity and controlling the flow. I understood the purpose of every muscle, how to increase and decrease their output, and how the force would impact me and others. Knowledge of physics and physiology flooded my mind to enable the proper control. By the time it reached level ten, I was a new man.

‘Okay, first up. Let’s try to figure out my Inherent Traits. Display autodidact?’

Inherent Trait - Autodidact
This skill reduces requirements for initial skill acquisition and allows general experience to be converted into skill experience at a rate of 20 to 1.

Note: This skill's status as an inherent trait eliminates barriers to skill and ability acquisition.

‘That explains a few things, learning a language from having people shout at me seemed strange even in a fantasy world.’ I wondered if this skill was as broken as it seemed. Actually, 20 to 1 is a horrible conversion rate. I earned 3000 experience from killing those soldiers. That would only net me 60 skill experience, not even moving me from level one to two, all while reducing my general level experience. Also, the leveling requirement for the skills at higher levels grew exponentially. So it was actually pretty bad… unless you happened to have slain a cosmic horror.

‘Maybe my luck was turning around. Display Great Teacher’

Inherent Trait - Great Teacher
When training others in a skill or ability, they receive an additional 1% of the normal experience acquisition for each level of the trainer. Skills in others can only be trained to the skill level of the trainer.

Note: This skill’s status as an Inherent Trait raises the additional experience gain to 50% for each level of the trainer. Additionally, students and followers gain a 20% boost to general experience per level when they are within 20 meters of you.

‘If there is any balance to the skills in this world, there is no way I am supposed to be at Level 283. Actually… without my Inherent Trait, it would only be a 28.3% boost, which wouldn't be too outrageous…’

I pondered the possibilities of my new skill and made plans to test a few things out tomorrow with Lydia. Unfortunately, I knew what I had to do next. Putting it off longer would not help the situation despite the fact that it was almost certain to destroy my good mood.

‘Display Subrace’

Subrace: Eldritch
Eldritch power has infused your body and soul.

Subrace traits:
Eldritch Geometry: Attempts to record, observe or measure your underlying status will fail as a result of your soul's unnatural geometry. Repeated attempts may affect the mental state of the observer.

Next trait unlocked at eldritch infusion (10/100)

I was stunned. There was a solid 5 minutes of everything turning around for me. While I hadn’t known my status could be read, this solved a potentially huge problem. An Eldritch subtype would surely have attracted angry mobs and pitchforks.

‘Let’s see what I get at the next level.’ I used autodidact to raise the level of the skill to two and promptly began to scream. It was the intense, relentless agony that I endured in space. I began to vomit blood and tissue. I fell to the ground, convulsing in pain. I saw nothing, heard nothing, and sensed nothing: just blackness.

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