Chapter 25: 4

“She’s Not There”

I prayed that the change in the city wasn’t just something my imagination brewed up. The blog entry I wrote spread like wildfire. Slowly but surely, we began to see more and more writings on the walls of Bristol, stating [We are Bristol], which made the writers of Queen Bear’s Revenge busy filling those with their graffiti. But not only did they put their graffiti everywhere, but they also aimed to create graffiti that the citizens could accept. Thus, each graffiti was made with love and affection like it would be their last.

In return, many of the writers commented. They said they never even considered who owned the walls they wrote on. But seeing the slogan [We are Bristol], they first understood that someone stood beyond the wall. And, I think the same could be said for the citizens. The owners of the walls uploaded pictures of the graffiti online, and some even had the writer and owner’s shoulder to shoulder as they took a selfie together. To them, graffiti could not have been some ordinary drawings on the wall. Unlike me, who had to learn it all. But through the invasion from London, the conception that Bristol and graffiti were one grew even stronger.

At first, Queen Bear’s Revenge only worked near the Bearpit, but their radius continued to grow. And during that time, Sugar and the gang didn’t go on the attack. Sweet Tooth resorting to aggressive methods to spread their turf was the worst-case scenario. However, there were no signs of that as of right now. I wanted to believe that this was thanks to the work of Queen Bear’s Revenge and the citizens, but it was most likely just because they were watching how the police would act.

The graffiti created by Sweet Tooth was slowly moving north from the Bristol Temple Meads station to the south, whereas the Queen Bear’s Revenge’s graffiti moved toward that from the north. And the collision point of those two happened to be the Bristol shopping quarter. It’s Bristol’s biggest shopping area that harbored several stores, as well as the shopping mall. And since the area was filled with security cameras, as well as guards, it was hard to write graffiti there. Soon enough, it ended up as the frontlines of this invasion.

Everyone knew that this city was in the middle of being invaded. The citizens supported the graffiti writers of Bristol, but they also feared the use of explosives or violent attacks. As a result of that, the atmosphere in the city grew dark, as fewer and fewer people stepped out onto the streets. My colleagues at university all voiced their worries, too, so I couldn’t tell them I was involved in this whole mess. But, I knew that we had to finish this situation as quickly as possible. However, there was one fact that we had to accept no matter what…Namely, that Sugar was a talented artist.

Just like a musician who aims to move the hearts of the people at a live concert, or a painter creating a work for the ages, an artist needs experience. And he was using this war to teach the city fear and terror. He used the city as a canvas…Or a wall in this case, as he told all the citizens, and this ability had to be respected. But even so, we had to beat Sugar. It wasn’t related to skill, either. Even if we created graffiti better than his, he will hardly change his mind about this. Maybe he’ll even destroy it through extreme measures. We can’t make him give up on Bristol with just that. That’s why we, as artists, have to overwrite Sugar.

His skill, his beliefs, his determination, everything. For that, Boudicia discussed how we could possibly beat him. One day we met at a cafe. The other day, we headed to the Bearpit. One day we met up at a random wall, and on another, we moved to my room. However, we never managed to reach some kind of conclusion. That being said, we also made some progress, at least. What’s important for graffiti is the context. Even if Boudicia ended up drawing highly-skilled graffiti, there was no point if it ended just with that. We have to make sure that Sugar admits defeat.

And for that, we had to find one of his graffiti to overwrite it. Boudicia and I agreed on that, too. The problem now was that Sugar hadn’t been writing since then. We walked around town, asking the people from Queen Bear’s Revenge to contact us if they found the graffiti. And yet, Sugar didn’t show himself. I figured out exactly what this would mean. Sugar said he was looking for someone. Maybe he managed to find that person.

“We really can’t find any of Sugar’s graffiti.”

“Yeah…”

We walked alongside the river. Since we searched through the area south of Bristol Bridge, we had no other option but to head west. We crossed the street at St Mary Redcliffe, then went across the Redcliffe Bascule Bridge, and yet we couldn’t find any graffiti from Sweet Tooth. The area around here was generally used as a storage and warehouse area since Bristol had begun to grow as a port city. Even now, we could see large cranes standing around, and using the various storehouses, the restaurants were now competing against each other.

In the distance, we could see a house in a rectangular shape, splattered with colors. It was actually one of the statues here in Bristol, called a Victorian Terrace House, an old building made of brick. Nobody knows who first colored it in such a bright color, but that was also very much like Bristol.

“I wonder what he’s up to.” Boudicia lowered her head, kicking along the stone pavement.

He did seem like he could be quite stubborn, and yet he often operated solely based on his own convenience and feelings. It was practically impossible to try and find out where exactly he would appear next. Once we crossed the Princess Street Bridge, she sat down on a random bench, resting her cheek on one hand as she crossed her legs. I sat down next to her. And only then did I realize how exhausted I was after all the walking.

Time had progressed to evening, as the sky was colored in a light blue and orange mix, reflected in the River Avon. For a while, Boudicia just stared at the water’s surface, only to finally mutter without confidence.

“Can I…win, I wonder?”

“…You’re not referring to skill, right?”

She nodded and then rubbed her eyes with her left hand.

“Right now, I can draw stuff on a similar level as before. It’s not that my technique isn’t good enough to win.”

She’s not wrong. At this stage, it’d be fair to say she’s reached a level that was close to perfection when it came to skill. Everything I’ve known from before she lost her right arm was the lion graffiti. However, If you look at the raw skill she possessed, she could create something far more complicated than that lion, even with her left hand. However, that wasn’t enough in order for her to win.

I’ve been thinking about it this whole time. What I could do in order to give her strength…And if I have the skill to find that burning flame shimmering in the darkness…then I want to give her the answer she needs. Just like she guided me all this time.

“Why did you decide to write graffiti even now, Boo-san?”

“Dunno,” she responded bluntly. “I can’t be like Lara. I do like Bristol, but I can’t just write for the sake of it. It doesn’t feel like…I can win against Sugar like that.”

A breeze passed us from the river, which shook her golden eyelashes. She blinked a few times as if to protect her eyes from the wind.

“I’m selfish, right? Maybe I really can only write for my own sake.”

“That’s not the case.”

“But, I just don’t get it…What do I want myself to draw?” Boudicia moved her heavy body toward the river, leaning against the fence.

I slowly stood next to her. Her expression looked lost, as she watched the water move. I felt worried that she might get carried away by the breeze, only to not be seen again.

“…At first, I couldn’t draw as I wanted, so drawing itself was just fun. And then, I saw Aeon with his crazy strokes, and Sugar was extremely good, too. I wanted to be like them. And improving was hella fun. I could overwrite all the writers I struggled against. But then, when I lost my arm, I thought of quitting…Yet, I ran into you…” Boudicia looked at me, as her blue eyes captured me.

And then, she closed her eyes as if she realized something.

“Maybe…I don’t want to write anymore.”

For a moment, I struggled to understand what she just said. She doesn’t want to…write anymore?

“Boo-san, what are you…”

“I’ve been thinking about it this entire time. What Sugar said, y’know. That everything needs to end. And that we should accept that. He’s right. Both Aeon and Peni almost got killed. We don’t even know if Lara will be able to ever write again. Everyone’s in tatters.” Boudicia kept looking down and spoke as if the dam had broken. “Nobody will protect us. The city council, the police…No allies to be found. As long as we’re writing graffiti, will things always be like this? Get punched, get kicked, bleed, and feel terror…Why do we still have to write despite that? What happens after we make Sugar give up and leave? And…”

She didn’t continue. Surely, that thought wasn’t just born right now. This doubt inside of her…Maybe it was something she held this entire time but decided to look away from it. Like a stone biting into the roots of a tall tree. And now, Boudicia is trying to face that. And of course, I knew what result would come from that.

“I just wanna quit it all.”

She made an expression I had never seen before. Even when she laughed, when she was stuck, when she was hurt, she always moved forward. Always looked ahead. When she was lost, she looked up and kept on running. But right now, the girl in front of me wasn’t the Ghost of Bristol who caused a miracle before. Instead, it was just an anxious girl who was scared of being hurt.

“Boo-san, we’re only getting started. We shouldn’t give up. It’s fine to not know where to go at times. For now, we have to focus on making Sugar give up and then…”

I wasn’t throwing empty words at her. This was all that I felt deep inside my heart. And yet, all the words I said were empty, fragile like bubbles that would break at the smallest touch.

“Stop saying all this irresponsible nonsense!”

“I’m not trying to be irresponsible. I just…”

I just want to be her strength. I was just looking for something that I could do. Because that’s as much as I can do.

“Then don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t go back to Japan.”

“That’s…”

“Stay in Bristol. Let’s…always stay together!”

It felt like someone had punched me in the head.

“…I knew that you were this type of guy. You’ll be gone, soon enough. You’ll go back to Japan and then play in your band with Nelina. It’s been decided that this is the life you’ll live. You decided that. And I’m no part of that. You’ll forget about me, as well as Bristol as a whole.”

“I will never forget you!”

“Then why aren’t you telling me anything?!”

Ah, I see. It’s not that she never said anything. She was thinking about it. And she waited for me…this whole time.

“It’s all gonna end. He’s right. And that’s why I can’t…!”

I finally understood the reason we can’t beat Sugar. It’s because he is right. People die, and everything will eventually. Everyone should be aware of that. And how could we call him wrong?

“You’re right.”

I felt like a heavy shower fell on my heart. This grew stronger as I was drenched and eventually washed away by the tidal wave.

“I’m a stranger. A passer-by. I can’t stay in Bristol forever. I’ve known that from the very start.”

“Yoshi, I…”

Boudicia looked at me like she’d realized her mistake. I knew I could pull back now. But, the water had begun to form a river, washing it all away.

“I’m not a citizen here in Bristol. I’m not a graffiti writer, either. I’m a Japanese student who came here to study abroad. I just looked away from my own problems and ran away. And since it felt comfortable here, I was under some spell that made me not see right.”

It felt like the world around me was breaking apart. Why…Why can I never grasp that small glimmer of hope? Nothing continues forever, so I just wanted to treasure this moment given to me. But just as Boudicia said, I was being irresponsible. And now that I had realized that, there was only one conclusion to draw.

“Boo-san, I want to save you. But, I can’t do anything. I have nothing. No answer, or even a question. I can’t do anything for you.”

She didn’t say a word. I couldn’t read any emotion from her expression. Or, it was probably because I couldn’t accept whatever feelings were stirring up deep inside of her. She just waited for the end to arrive.

“I always hesitated if I should tell you. The reason why you can’t beat Sugar…why you don’t want to write.”

In my heart, I was screaming. Please, stop. Don’t say another word. Don’t end it all right here. However, I couldn’t stop myself any longer. I took a deep breath, moving my lips and everything inside my mouth to create these words that cut through the silence.

“Right now, Boo-san…You have no soul.”

*

Boudicia disappeared. After I said those words, she stood up and ran away. Unable to chase after her, I just stood still like a rooted tree. I don’t even remember how I got home. All I knew was…that it was all over now. I was laying in my bed in my dorm, but inside my heart, I already felt like I had gotten home to Japan. Having lingering attachment, or not wanting to go home…What I felt was a bit different from that. Getting to know Boudicia, learning about graffiti, discovering all these things…and then working for the sake of this city…and now, I said my goodbyes to Boudicia.

I truly felt like I had finished everything there was for me to do here. It’s not that I don’t want to watch the end of all this fighting. But, there was nothing I could do. The rest simply relied on Boudicia. Sure, I have regrets. I keep thinking about why things had to end this way. But in the end…it’s all I could do. The moment I came to Bristol, my fate was sealed. In fact, meeting her was an irregular event. I grabbed the 94 spray can I had on my desk. Even a year after living here, I still don’t know how to properly throw this away. But…this was all the connection I have with Bristol.

I sighed and moved over to place the spray can on the desk when I saw something had fallen to the ground right ahead of me. It was a sticker. Since Boudicia showed me this before, I immediately understood what it was. Since writing a tag right then and there on a wall can be pretty dangerous, you can put your graffiti on a sticker like this to place them wherever. And it was even made with material that made it harder to pull off. However, written on this sticker wasn’t a tag or any graffiti, but a regular sentence—Light at the end of the tunnel.

I didn’t know what meaning this sticker held, but I stuffed it into my pocket nonetheless. Instead, a bad premonition crept down my spine. I immediately ran out of my dorm. It felt like it might start raining soon, but I didn’t have the composure to worry about that. Despite the iffy weather, the people in the Bearpit were cheerful. You could tell they were filled with hope, as they wrote their graffiti. Of course, living with the hope that, while they do this, Boudicia will deal with Sugar for them. And…it’s the hope I actively crushed with my actions.

I looked around the Bearpit to look for her when someone tapped me on the shoulder. Turning around, there stood JF. Seeing his energetic face, I just felt stronger guilt weighing down on me.

“Yo, Yoshi. Thanks to you, the graffiti is coming along great. We’ve got so many more supporters with the citizens. Now it’s up for the Ghost to…”

“I’m sorry, JF-san. Have you seen Boo-san?”

“No…? What’s up.”

“I can’t find her. And it’s all my fault.”

“Hey, hey, relax. What’s gotten into you?”

I seemingly didn’t realize how flustered and panicked I was. I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

“…Sorry, I was just panicking.”

“No worries. So, what’s up?”

“I can’t get in contact with Boo-san.”

Hearing my words, JF’s expression grew distorted.

“Hold on, that’s pretty bad, no? You don’t think they got their hands on the Ghost…”

“Um…I don’t think that’s the case. It’s just…some stuff happened…”

I blabbered over my own words, unsure how to explain myself to JF.

“If you can’t get in contact with her, then how’re you gonna know if she’s fine?!”

JF’s words made me gasp. Because of what happened yesterday, I assumed that it was my fault, but I can’t deny the possibility that Sugar may have found her.

“JF-san, there’s no tunnel in Bristol, right?”

“A tunnel?” JF was bewildered and returned the question.

“Yes, it might be related to where Boo-san went.”

“A tunnel…Well, Redcliffe is more like a cave. There is a tunnel below Temple Meads station, but…”

“Really?!”

“Let me finish first. That area’s not open to the public, and you can’t get inside there. Also, why do you think a tunnel’s related to the Ghost’s location?”

I took out the sticker and showed it to JF.

“The heck’s that?” He accepted this and gave it a closer look. “Well, the light beyond the tunnel is a popular saying. In a way, it refers to hope.”

“Hope…”

I envisioned a long tunnel with a bright light waiting at the end.

“Did the Ghost write this?”

“I’m not sure, but it was inside my room.”

“Hm…So she might have left this behind for you. I’m guessing the gang didn’t find her then. But that leaves the question of…”

“Where she went, you mean?”

“Yeah. Maybe…But, then again…”

JF seemed like he had an idea, but was unsure if he should say it.

“Please, JF-san. Tell me.”

I kept on pressing further. I needed any kind of hint right now. After all, Boudicia might be in danger right now.”

“I’ve got no proof or anything, so…”

“That’s good enough.”

“…There’s a famous tunnel that all of us writers know about.”

JF returned the sticker, which I accepted and put back into my pocket.

“A famous tunnel?”

“Yeah…It’s the Banksy Tunnel.”

I swallowed my breath. Banksy—The world-renowned artist who found his origin in Bristol. And this was the first time I had heard of a tunnel being named after him.

“It’s one of the few places where you’re legally allowed to write graffiti. I went there once, and the entire place is full of graffiti.”

Something didn’t sit right with me.

“But, wait. You said that the tunnel in Bristol was off-limits.”

“That’s right. That’s the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Banksy Tunnel isn’t in Bristol.”

The wind blew, moving from west to east.

“It’s in London.”

*

Of course, I had no proof that Boudicia really headed to this Banksy Tunnel in London. However, I was sure that finding a sticker like that in my room at a time like this must have some sort of meaning. If Boudicia really went to head for London, it must have happened early this morning. If I headed there right now, I might just be able to run into her. Needless to say, I might just be wasting my time with this, but I could not bring myself to sit still and wait. There are several methods to reach London from Bristol. The most prominent one would be to take the train at Temple Meads station. However, with Sweet Tooth’s graffiti everywhere, I would be walking right into hostile territory. For that, I opted to choose the long-distance bus.

I quickly checked the times on my phone and bought a ticket. Luckily, I found one that departed immediately. The Bristol Bus and Coach station was right to the west of Bristol. I looked for the bus in question and showed the driver my reservation. He gave it a dubious look, but then signaled me to come inside. The inside of the bus wasn’t too different from the long-distance ones I was used to in Japan. Thankfully, not many people headed for London on a regular weekday, allowing me to easily find a seat. I chose one in the back, far behind two women who were excited about the upcoming trip.

The seat gave in to my weight, allowing me to sink deep into it as it let out a faint creak. Immediately after, the bus driver got on the bus, with the doors closing. Then, I heard the sound of the engine revving up, as the bus started moving. Checking the time, it would take roughly three hours from here to Victoria station in London. I didn’t like that I had to wait all the time, but walking around the bus in anxiety wouldn’t let it arrive any quicker. And when I was on the bus, all I could do was wait.

I sighed. Lately, I’ve just been running around. And while my feelings were telling me things to speed up, my body told me to rest. Even now, the writers of Bristol were fighting against the invasion from London. Lara and Peni are hospitalized, and JF was giving orders to the writers in the Bearpit. But…what was Boudicia doing right now? I imagined her getting hurt by Sugar but quickly shook my head. It was like the air inside the bus was different, like I had entered a different world, making the passage of time feel slower.

Then, I remembered the sensation of her head resting on my lap when we watched that movie. If I had her by my side right now, I would probably be the happiest person in the whole world. But alas, I closed my eyes. Why did she go to London? Or, is she even in London right now? If she really went there alone, it must be because of what I said to her. That she has no soul. Of course, I had faintly felt this the whole time. However, there is always a time and place.

Something wasn’t right with me back then. I was just so shocked and bewildered that I didn’t know what I was saying…Well, excuses like that are pointless. But…if she really is at the Banksy Tunnel in London…What should I say to her? She said that she didn’t want to write anymore. So…should I respect those feelings? And…her words still were stuck inside my heart like a knife—Telling me to stay in Bristol. To stay with her. How should I respond to that? I wanted to think about it, but it felt like the inside of my mind was full of fog, not allowing me to proceed. On the contrary, it brought me to a standstill. Those three hours feel incredibly long…but far too short to find an answer to all of my problems.

I took out my headphones and connected them to my smartphone via Bluetooth, then started playing music. Right as I leaned against the seat, my phone vibrated. For a moment, I was filled with hope that it could be Boudicia, so I quickly looked at the phone screen, but it was a different name—Nelina. I quickly opened the message. And there, I saw two simple words.

‘You alive?’

I didn’t know why, but I burst out laughing. To think she would check up on me at a time like this.

‘Somewhat.’

I returned this one-word response when suddenly Nelina called me. I almost dropped my phone out of shock but managed to catch it at the last second. Talking with her always makes me feel nervous, so I took a deep breath and then accepted the call.

“Ah, Yoshi. Why aren’t you contacting Nelina? Normally, you should ask if she’s doing okay and if she got back home to Japan safely. Your lack of contact made Nelina worry if you died.”

I couldn’t help but flash a wry smile as she kept on rambling. Even if we haven’t talked in a while, it’s like she was never gone once.

“I shouldn’t have answered. I’ll hang up now.”

“Not my problem…But, something happened, right?”

“Huh? Why would you think that?”

“You’re so easy to read when it comes to that. You’re playing tough. But you can’t survive in this harsh world all by yourself.”

I cursed myself for not hanging up. How come she can always see right through my feelings?

“Nelina thought of contacting you because of the explosion she heard about in the news…but if there was nothing going on, you would just say something. So now, Nelina’s using this moment to snuggle up inside your heart and gain bonus points.”

“Should you really be saying that to the person in question?”

“Bleh, it’s you we’re talking about.”

Despite her poking fun at me, I could also feel my heart being grasped. We’ve been apart for a while now, and we rarely even talked during this whole time, and yet she understood me better than I did. I looked around inside the bus. The people ahead of me were still talking as much as before, and nobody was around me. Granted, it was pretty normal to see people talking inside the buses here in the UK, but it must be my Japanese blood that tells me to be cautious so that I don’t bother other people.

“I’m sorry, Nelina-san. I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Oh, what’s up? A favor from none other than Yoshi? What a rarity. You know, Nelina is excited to meet you again, so she might listen to whatever request you have. However, it can’t be anything that people can see, because Nelina still belongs to everyone…”

“I fought with Boo-san.”

Nelina went silent. After a brief moment, I could hear a loud sigh coming from all the way from Japan.

“Now listen up. If you stood in front of me right now, I would have slapped you for that. Do you know how I feel? I’m just gonna hang up, bye-bye.”

“Wait, please, that’s not it.”

“That’s exactly it, right? I was worried so much, can’t even help you, and yet now I feel like blowing up that stray cat myself. I’ll make sure to send her a letter bomb straight from Nelina to hell. Don’t joke with me, damn it.”

“Nelina-san, did you ever feel like not singing any more?”

Another long silence followed.

“Hm. I see how it is.”

More silence.

“…I do.”

“Why was that?”

“It happened before we met. I thought I would be able to get whatever I wanted. But, nobody listened to me. It made me wonder why I was even singing. And, I couldn’t speak for a while.”

She spoke with an indifferent tone but imagining how that must have felt sent shivers down my spine. And at the same time, it surprised me. Minding the smaller things, Nelian is tough. She does not choose the methods necessary to accomplish her goal. So hearing that she couldn’t sing was such a shocking revelation to me.

“So, what happened?”

“Now, let’s do a Nelina Quiz. What did the clever and adorable Nelina-chan do after that?! You have five seconds!”

“Um, you consulted someone?”

“Boohoo, wrong! The correct answer is: She went to eat yakiniku, punched the sandbag at the gym a few times, went to take a bath, and then slept!”

“And that resolved everything…?”

“Nope. But it allowed me to think more clearly. And then I started thinking about what my goal is and writing down why my singing is necessary. And then, I realized that I didn’t have time to be depressed. In fact, it allowed me to get better. It took me twelve hours to recover. Which is pretty long, I guess.”

I had no words to return to that. She has a talent. However, this talent went far beyond being a good singer or having sense. It’s the conviction to make whatever she wishes come true. You could call it her determination. In the end, singing is just a means to get what she wants. So then, what about me? Or, what about Boudicia? What’s our goal, and what methods do we have available?

“And? Did that help?”

She said, not sounding serious at all. As I thought, she saw right through it all. I smiled and shook my head, despite knowing she couldn’t see it.

“Not at all. Your case is just too special, Nelina-san.”

“Whaaaat? I jumped over my shame to tell you an embarrassing story of mine and this is how you thank me?”

“I don’t think it’s that embarrassing of a story if you overcome it that quickly. It’s more like a heroic tale.”

Nobody would be able to copy her. Neither I nor Boudicia. But…

“It helped me realize. Only Boo-san can find the answer to her question.”

The bus hopped up a moment as it drove over a bump.

“I should have never considered myself important enough to try and find an answer for her.”

“…Listen.”

“What?”

Nelina spoke with a tone more serious than before.

“Leaving aside her answer…You also have to find your own answer, too, Yoshi. You know that?”

“Of course…or so I think, at least.”

Compared to Nelina, I’m not as quick on the uptake. I only understood what she meant by listening to her following words.

“You’re coming back home, right?”

I couldn’t answer. Until a moment ago, it felt like I had nothing else to do in Bristol. And surely, I would have gone back to Japan despite having regrets. But now, I wasn’t sure anymore. Even so, I had to make up my mind. If not, I won’t be able to move on. The same goes for Boudicia, too. And Nelina managed to read through me even with that silence.

“Give that stray cat my regards.”

I knew she smiled even if I couldn’t tell.

*

Arriving in London at the Victoria Coach Station, it was raining outside. Usually, London is known for its bad and rainy weather, but coming to the UK, I realized that it actually wasn’t so bad. The city of smoke was born from the amount of smog in the town, but comparing this to Tokyo, then it definitely rained less. That being said, the stuffy atmosphere in London definitely had a melancholic feeling. I walked inside Victoria station, remembering when I had first arrived in the UK. One year ago, I took the plane from Narita Airport to Heathrow Airport, then stayed in London for a night. Finally, I used the Great Western Railway to Bristol. I didn’t stay in London long, but I could look around for a bit.

I still remember feeling two distinct impressions about London. First, it is an old city. Most of the buildings were built of brick or stone, and at almost every corner, you would find historical locations like a palace, a museum, a theater, and other sights. And this elevated it to one of the few cities with worldwide historical value. Granted, Bristol had similar historical buildings, but it couldn’t compare to London.

And at the same time, London was a new city. Many buildings were made of glass and steel, architecturally updated to modern times, as you could see new-type bikes and cars driving around. The same could be said about the clothes the people passing me wore. And with this many people living here, you’d see a wide arrangement of restaurants, with billboards of foreign languages as far as you could see.

These two impressions created the mosaic that was London the city. And my initial impression has not changed compared to now. However, back then, it really felt like I had set foot in a completely foreign country. Sure, I still feel like I’m far away from my home. However, the home in my mind was Bristol. Stepping out of Victoria station, I used my oyster card to take the underground railroad. I passed through the ticket gate made with blunt steel, stepping onto the cart colored in red, blue, and white. At Green Park, I changed to the Jubilee Line, continued to Stratford and Westminster, and finally got off at Waterloo station.

Banksy Tunnel supposedly was close to Waterloo Station. I carefully observed my surroundings and then made my way there. The scenery hasn’t changed since the last time I was here, but one place caught my attention. It was a small parking area where a few cars had parked. There, I could see graffiti. The building of the wall deeper inside the parking lot was buried with graffiti like birds had come to get fed. Seeing that, I was sure of it. After a bit more walking, I found the tunnel. However, it wasn’t anything much like a tunnel, and more like a passage beneath an elevated street. What really stood out the most was the inside, filled to the brim with graffiti. I tried to remain calm as I snuck alongside the tunnel entrance, hearing a voice from the inside.

“Hey there, Boo-chan. It’s been a while.”

It was Sugar.

“You came to meet me, right?”

“You’re alone today, huh?”

And the other voice I heard…undoubtedly belonged to Boudicia. I kept hiding and tried to calm my heart which was close to jumping out from my chest. I felt relief that I finally managed to find her, while also terror that she was facing Sugar of all people.

“Hm? You mean Liquorice-chan? Ah, are you jealous? No worries. She’s probably looking for me in Bristol right about now. I came here without telling her, after all.”

“Sugar…Why did you call me here? Not to mention…to this place.”

He called for her. That means she didn’t leave Bristol out of her own desire.

“Well, I’m surprised you came. If I had the crew with me, you’d be locked up and I could take my time asking you how it felt to die.”

“I came because I wanted to talk to you.”

“Huh, I wonder about that.” Sugar’s laughter filled the tunnel, even reaching my ears.

He probably didn’t expect I’d be listening to this. That being said, I wasn’t particularly angry at him. It’s because the tone of his voice sounded different from usual…And that definitely wasn’t because of the tunnel’s echo, I bet.

“Well, let’s just get to writing. This is the Banksy Tunnel, the greatest legal wall here in London. Nobody will get angry at us. And it’ll be just us two, right?”

Boudicia didn’t respond. Instead, I heard the rattling of the spray can be shaken, followed by spraying sounds, as they continued their conversation.

“Let me get straight to it. Let’s live together in London, Boo-chan.”

“No thanks.”

“Hm…I figured you’d say that. But, if you agree, I’ll make the gang pull out of Bristol.”

“…What?”

“Why are you so surprised? I want us to write as we’ve done before.”

“And I’ve always been meaning to ask just what happened to you. Why did you team up with a gang? What are you thinking, even? I have no idea anymore…”

The sound of spray temporarily stopped.

“You know…I want to write a masterpiece. Not just a full work that needs all my work. Instead, it has to be something truly moving.” Sugar’s cold voice filled the tunnel. “I thought I could do that. Until…you came.”

“…Me?”

“That’s right. You improved at incredible speed. You could pull off everything and all immediately.”

“That’s not true. I just copied you…”

“You weren’t copying me. You made my style your own in the blink of an eye. I knew immediately you just passed me by. That’s why I went to London…so that I wouldn’t lose.”

“I didn’t know that! And Aeon didn’t say a damn thing!”

“He said to not get you involved in my problems. And, that everything comes to naught. In the face of the passage of time, victory or defeat is such a minor thing to get hung up on. But if that’s the case, then what even is the point of graffiti? I wanted to win. Against you…and myself. That’s how graffiti was born, right?”

I remembered Boudicia’s right hand. Unable to write properly, unable to win against anybody, she wanted to leave Bristol behind. In a way, it was similar to what Sugar did. And how did Aeon feel seeing both his students clash with a wall like that?

“Coming to London was the right choice. I wrote graffiti each and every single day. I met a lot of people, too. Writing, being overwritten, the same on repeat. And since I didn’t have a place to stay, I just slept on the street. London was me, and I was London. Even if it wasn’t always easy.”

I stood up, lowered my body, and quietly entered the tunnel. I hid next to a large pillar, sitting down again. Thanks to that, I could finally see them in the distance. They stood facing a wall, spraying their graffiti. Boudicia used her left hand, whereas Sugar relied on both of his. Seeing that, I returned back behind the shadow of the pillar. I knew that listening in on their conversation wasn’t an admirable act, but I could not miss out on this conversation. I wanted to know what kind of person Sugar is. He wasn’t just the enemy of Bristol any longer. He may be evil, but he holds artistic values like an artist. And by learning about him, I might learn more about Boudicia.

“But, someone decided to take me in.”

Sugar’s voice was as cheerful as always. However, that rotten tone lingering deep within that was nowhere to be found.

“She really liked the type of graffiti I created. She was the type of person to sell art at the gallery. She told me to write on a canvas. Said I shouldn’t be living on the street. That I’m an artist who can convey their feelings to other people.”

An artist who only knew the streets and a gallery worker who found him. What heartwarming scenery.

You are reading story Overwrite at novel35.com

“She let me inside her home, and one single room was like my atelier. Said I could draw as much as I want, and I was really happy. I thought I could finally draw the masterpiece I always wanted.”

There, Sugar’s spray stopped.

“But…I can’t draw anything.”

Following that, so did Boudicia’s.

“I slept under the roof. With her and on a fluffy bed. She fed me delicious food every day. She gave me all the material I needed. But when I sat facing the white canvas, I couldn’t draw anything. I couldn’t do anything, no matter how many days passed.”

“…And what happened then?”

“One day, she was attacked.”

FWUSH, a gust of wind blew through the tunnel. The air inside the tunnel was suddenly reeking of something grotesque. And it felt like I was glued to the ground, unable to move.

“It was done by someone who couldn’t stand my guts. Probably because I acted like an artist. This kind of jealousy is what kills people. The streets of London work like that.”

“But…”

“I can still remember it now. Drenched in blood, lying on the ground like a used dust cloth…was her carcass.”

The backstreets of London only exist to give place for trash bins and graffiti. In a place where no help arrives. Being hit, stabbed, kicked, bleeding blood…and finally losing all light. Only because she helped a single writer. And just the thought of that was utterly revolting.

“I saw all that. I wrote about it.”

And yet, Sugar continued to speak with his usual tone.

“Right on the wall next to her dead body. It’s like my body was possessed. I never wrote something like that. It’s my own masterpiece that I can’t overwrite.”

Before I realized it, I covered my mouth with my hands. My body was shaking. Is something like that even possible? Can a human being really do that? Witnessing the death of someone you cherish…and writing graffiti next to their carcass? What if…it was Boudicia? Could I play the guitar while looking at her lifeless body? No, of course not.How could I?

“Starting with that, I finally found the message I had to convey…the soul that I lacked. I wanted to write more. And that’s when I met Liquorice-chan and teamed up with her gang. They allow me to write as much as I want. And I make their turf grow. Everyone’s happy.”

“Did you ever find out who did it?”

“Nope. I had nothing but enemies here, after all. That’s why I just gathered all the writers I could think of and beat them up. Surely, one of them must have been the person who did it, but at some point…I stopped caring about her anyway.”

I doubted my ears. However, Sugar continued, still devoid of emotion.

“It’s a piece of work, you see. If I had gotten to live with her there for the rest of my life, I would have been happy. But then, I was hungry, so I wrote. She stopped me from writing graffiti.” Sugar spoke with the warmth of the rising sun. “But, now it’s different. I have to teach everyone. People can only become artists if they find themselves at death’s doorstep. Only then can they create something truly beautiful. That is the truth I must tell the world.”

“But even without that…I can write!”

“Really? Can you really say that while writing such empty graffiti?”

I faintly pushed my head out of the shadows. From this angle, I couldn’t see what Sugar wrote. However, Boudicia’s graffiti…was empty, after all.

“I understand how you feel. You don’t want to write anymore, right? It must be hard for you. It’s because you have no message. No reason to write any longer.”

“That’s not true! I…just…”

I watched her from the shadows. Sugar approached Boudicia and took her hand. She tried to pull it back, but he wouldn’t let go.

“Hey, Boo-chan. I was really sad when I heard you couldn’t write anymore…and I was really happy when I heard you returned. That’s why I snuck out from London to take a look at yours…But, I was disappointed. Honestly, I don’t care about this whole turf nonsense. I just want you to write a true masterpiece. But, you’re too fulfilled for that. That’s why I came to look for whoever is getting in your way.”

“Wait, are you…”

“At first, I thought it was Aeon-sensei. But, that wasn’t it. Then I thought it was that crew, so I went to hunt that Captain and sunk her ship. Though that other guy protecting her was an unfortunate oversight. I even left the spray can there just for you, yet you still wouldn’t write.”

“…!”

“You know, don’t you? That one day, everything will end. You will. Graffiti will. Bristol will. London will. Love will. Everything will. People can’t live righteously if they don’t look death in the eye. Everything is headed toward an end. Even this very moment. And the moment you understand that, you can write a masterpiece. And if you don’t understand that, then I’m in trouble here,” Sugar spoke with an eerie but gentle tone. “Now, tell me. Who is the person who made you whole?”

Silence filled the tunnel. It felt like time came to a halt. The person who made her whole…Could that possibly…refer to me? Would it be arrogant to assume that? Because…no matter how happy that would make me, it would only bring her pain. Because of her, I could play the guitar again. Because she’s here, I haven’t returned to Japan. But if she enjoyed the time we spent together as much as I did…then maybe I should have set her free much sooner. The reason she can’t write is that I’ve been staying by her side this whole time. How…irresponsible I was.

“Sugar, I get what you’re trying to tell me.” Boudicia accepted this. “When I was by myself, I wrote my best works. It felt like I could do everything I wanted. And yet, right now, I’m always feeling puffy, up in the air, like my feet are off the ground.”

Her voice was quivering, but even so…I could clearly pick up what she tried to say.

“…But even so, the reason I could draw again like this…is because Yoshi was with me.”

I remembered what she was like when she wanted to quit graffiti. How she despaired, being unable to write what she did before. I’ve watched her this whole year…by her side, too.

“He told me to only write for my sake. That it was fine if I didn’t accomplish anything. That’s why I could write again. I became free. And before I realized…I couldn’t write if he wasn’t with me.”

Like I took a step forward for her sake when I couldn’t play the guitar again…She could make progress because I was with her. And if that was really true…

“But…He’s gonna go back to Japan. Because he has people waiting for him there. The reason I can’t write isn’t that he’s with me…It’s because he’ll leave me soon. And that makes me feel sad…and it hurts so much…that I just don’t know what to do!”

It felt like my whole world was turned upside down. It’s not because I’m with her…But because I’ll be gone soon. I didn’t even think about that. I always thought that…it would have been better if I wasn’t around. Be it the band, this city…and even Boudicia. I assumed that I was the one asking others. But I just ran away, simply accepting that…Like I’ve done all this time. And if so, then I can’t let things end here. If it’s not too late…then I want to inherit it all. These limited days we have, her feelings…and the responsibility that comes with it.

“…So she says. You’re listening, right?”

I wasn’t too surprised. I had a feeling this was the case. Because it felt like Sugar was talking to me at some point, and not Boudicia.

“Huh? Yoshi? Why are you here?!”

When I revealed myself, Boudicia’s eyes shot wide open.

“That’s my line, Boo-san.”

“Did you…hear all of that?”

“I’m sorry.” I apologized and admitted it.

“But…I didn’t…think you were listening…”

Unlike Boudicia, Sugar wasn’t surprised in the slightest.

“Finally decided to show yourself, huh?”

“Since when have you known?”

“From the very start. You have to be sensitive to a person’s presence, or you can’t write in London. I’m a bit disappointed that you’d actually eavesdrop like that. However…” Sugar gazed at me. “…Yeah. I can see it now. It’s you. You’re the reason. If I mess you up here, then Boo-chan will return to who she truly is. And it will open the path to her true masterpiece.”

And then, he laughed. It was almost like the corners of his mouth could reach up to his ears. And while he smiled, he took out a white object, directing it at me.

“Huh? What’s that? Some toy?”

“Not quite, Boo-san.” I answered the bewildered voice I could hear behind me.

“I’m surprised you know. Most people who see this just freak out. In fact, this is a pistol.” Sugar twirled the white object around his finger. “In this country, it’s practically impossible to obtain a gun. However, making one yourself is a simple task. And with a 3D printer, you can even make the bullets.”

“Simple…No way that thing’s gonna do anything…right?” Boudicia looked at the gun, and then at me.

“Shall we try?”

Sugar moved quickly. He directed the muzzle upward, pulling the trigger. BANG, a shrill sound followed, as the light above us broke.

“Careful!”

I quickly turned my back and protected Boudicia. Immediately after, I felt something graze my shoulder, as blood came gushing out. My skin was ripped open in a vertical line. The bullet must have bounced off from the light and shot down at us.

“Are you okay, Boo-san?!” I looked at Boudicia.

“I’m fine, but…”

Seeing that she was fine, I sighed in relief. Sugar kept on laughing, as he stuffed his hand into his pocket, took out another bullet, and packed it into his gun.

“This time, I’ll shoot you directly. Scared, eh?”

Sugar’s gaze and the muzzle of the gun now were directed at me. And yet, I was feeling oddly refreshed, not pulling back.

“Not really, to be honest.”

“Playing tough now?”

“Sugar-san, I was scared of you. But, that’s not the case anymore. Because I understand you.”

I took one step forward. I could tell his eyebrows twitched.

“You won’t kill me.”

So far, I thought of Sugar as a storm or tumult. A walking disaster that swept up everything in its path. But, I was wrong. Standing in front of me right now, pointing the pistol at me, was a single artist who valued beauty over everything else.

“Heh, I wonder.”

“Hey, Yoshi! Stop it!”

Boudicia tried to step in front of me, but I stopped her with my hand. I can’t let her get hurt, no matter what.

“You want to make Boo-san write another masterpiece. Right? Then…you should understand the risk of shooting me right here.”

“Maybe she’ll write it right here, right now, next to your dead body?”

“Would you like to try and see if she truly creates what you want?”

Silence filled the air between us. Sugar moved his head left and right, pretending to think about it, and then said—

“All right, let’s test it.”

Together with these words, he pulled the trigger. Something cracked.

“Yoshi!”

I heard Boudicia’s scream, as I closed my eyes. I wonder what it feels like to die. Is it cold? Warm? Is it bright? Or maybe dark? Will it feel like your body is floating? Or will you just fall asleep and never wake up? Whatever it was, I was ready to accept it. Because I felt her warmth on my back. And if I die protecting his warmth…Then that’s fine. However, when I heard Sugar’s voice, I opened my eyes. I could feel pain on my forehead, and I was probably bleeding—But, that was it. The pistol in Sugar’s hand broke apart and its pieces fell to the ground like snow.

In the end, a 3D-printed pistol can’t compare to the real deal. I can’t hope to compare to the regular guns sold on the market. In fact, it could barely shoot a second time.

“Hmm…Lucky you. Or, maybe this is destiny. Like every story eventually needs a worthy ending, don’t you think?” Sugar threw the gun away and smiled.

Even now, he was smiling. And innocently, too, like a child who kept the strawberry of a shortcake for last.

“I’m an artist…so, the only way you can stop me is with art. And if you so wish to let it come to that…then show me your art,” Sugar said and walked away.

“That sounds just fine. We won’t lose.”

*

“I really thought I was going to die.”

“I thought you were dead!”

From Westminster Bridge, we looked down the River Thames. The scenery from the Thames side was truly what you would expect from London. In the distance to the north, we could see the Ferris Wheel, and the London Eye, and to the west was the familiar Big Ben, towering high. Further from that was the Westminster Palace, sitting between the communal and royal hospital. Gazing at this scenery, it really made me think that this is how a big city is supposed to be. Old and new mixed together, creating towers of history in the same place. Compared to Japan, which basically ended up as a blank slate, this was unthinkable. And even so, there will come a day when it will all be overwritten, just like graffiti. The scenery was so bewitching, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Then again, it was probably also because the tension finally left my body.

“This ain’t funny! If the gun hadn’t broken then and there, you would be dead now!”

“Well, I was sure he wouldn’t shoot me.”

“He sure as hell did!”

“No, the first shot already created cracks within the pistol. And I’m sure that Sugar-san knew that.”

Hearing my explanation, Boudicia looked at me in disbelief.

“In Japanese, we have an onomatopoeia for when people have their mouths open in shock, called anguri. And that couldn’t be more fitting for you right now.”

When she heard that, she quickly closed her mouth and sighed like she was groaning.

“Bloody hell. Leave me alone with your anguri. I’m angry, y’know?” She moved her gaze toward the river, as she took out her trusted vape from her pocket.

I could pick up from the breeze that it was her favorite vanilla smell.

“Why are you even here in the first place?”

“That’s my line. You suddenly vanished without a trace, so I was worried.”

“…My bad. I just thought that I had to handle Sugar myself…”

“And I’m angry about that, bloody hell.” I shrugged.

The sun began to set, as the light illuminated her eyes.

“So, you know…What I said before, I…”

She played with the zipper from her hoodie, trying to find the right words—when my smartphone rang and interrupted her.

“God! Who is it now?!”

“Wait, that’s…”

I looked at the name on the screen and immediately picked up.

“Hiya, been a while, right?”

At first, I couldn’t believe the voice I had just heard. It was a familiar voice that I hadn’t heard in a long time. It was deep but pleasant, and I could never forget who it belonged to.

“George…san…”

“What?”

Hearing that name, Boudicia’s eyes opened wide. And I don’t blame her. He’s been radio silent since that incident in the art museum.

“Hey, Yoshi. Gimme that, there’s a mountain of things I wanna tell that bastard.”

“Ah, wah!”

She tried to pull the phone out of my hands, almost dropping it into the river. Thankfully, I caught it before it was too late. Glaring at Boudicia, I put the phone on speaker.

“What were you doing all this time?!”

As you’d expect, Boudicia was furious at George. Leaving aside her tone, I actually felt the same way, so I didn’t interrupt.

“Would you really ask that? It’s because I had work to do, Roasted Beef-chan. Remember what my work is?”

George exchanged a few words with Boudicia like they always have.

“Hah, I never once saw you actually doing your work properly!”

“Doesn’t mean I never did it. And I’m well aware of your work, as well as the situation in Bristol.”

He stated that he was doing the handy work of the city council, but his main agenda was art and culture-related. Thinking about it, it would be weird for him to be in the dark about exactly what was going on. In fact, it was weird that he didn’t act at all until now.

“George-san…What should we do?”

I asked before I could really think about it. Knowing George, he must have some kind of way out of this.

“Hey now, Yoshi-kun. Since when have you gotten so weak?” He said and laughed.

The faint vibration of my smartphone created from this quickly melted into the air.

“I’m being serious here.”

“I know, and that’s why I worked hard, too. I just needed some time.”

“…Are you plotting something again?”

“Hey now, that’s not a nice thing to say about someone else. I actually managed to set up a legal wall in Bristol.”

“A legal wall…” I returned those words.

Just like the Banksy Tunnel, a legal wall was a location that allowed anybody to freely write graffiti without worrying about the ramifications. As graffiti was generally regarded as a crime, it was the one space that let people run wild. However, Bristol still feared the invasion happening right now. Granted, more citizens have opted to support the writers of Bristol, but many still saw graffiti as a whole as the root of all problems. So, setting up a legal wall like this couldn’t have happened during a better time.

“The location is at the Caroline Circus. All the posters and advertisements got cleaned off completely, so people can now write on it. And it’s easy to see, too. It’ll be open in two weeks. I know it’s not immediately, but this is as quick as I could push it, sorry.”

That surprised me. The Caroline Circus was located near the shopping mall in the center of Bristol. The place was always full of people, couples, and families everywhere, so it should be the location furthest removed from graffiti, at least legally. However, George must have seen through my doubt.

“The shopping mall is the window for the public, after all. And if the owner agrees, we can do everything. And I’m sure you must have an idea what could have brought this about.”

“An idea…”

I don’t know anybody in power at the shopping mall, so I was drawing a blank…No, if the place allowed for a legal wall to be instituted, then…Maybe I knew something, after all.

“Could it have been…”

“That’s right. The owner of the shopping mall decided to write ‘We are Bristol’ on the wall.”

We are Bristol—That’s the catchphrase I decided to use. It was to unite all of Bristol’s graffiti to fight against London. But to think that it could even reach such heights.

“I was always pressing the city council for a legal wall, see. But your actions were of the best timing, truly. Thanks to that, I could finally agree with them. Of course, the other side is made of businessmen, so they see this as an attraction. And to get those people on board, one wall was an easy price to pay.”

Truth be told, the city council and Lara were always at each other’s necks. Normally, the council would not allow graffiti to be accepted like this, but with all its complicated relationships coming together, they took one step for more to be born after, and the timing couldn’t have been better. Surely, George’s influence must have been massive in this, too.

“They’d like to turn it into a new tourist spot while they’re at it. I think they’re dreaming too big for their own sake, but…Well, good luck.”

It truly was fortunate, but it didn’t leave us with an easy way out, still.

“But, Sugar and the others won’t stay silent with just this, right?” I asked.

The one to answer that question was Boudicia.

“Heh, that works just fine. Your thoughts are always crazy.”

“Exactly. Finally feeling the fire again, Roasted Beef-chan?”

“I’d rather grill you on the fire instead.”

I felt an odd sense of relief at hearing their conversation, as I thought about the meaning.

“Surely, the creation of this legal wall will make big news. That’s why Sugar won’t be able to ignore it, either. Especially since it’s practically in the center of Bristol. We have to put our graffiti on there as quickly as possible, right?”

“Yeah. They won’t let this chance go to waste. No matter how many people they have to gather for that.”

“In other words, if he writes graffiti that can’t be beaten by the writers of Bristol…”

“Game over, yes. But at the same time, if you can beat London there, it’ll turn into a strong backwind against the invasion.”

In the street graffiti fights, there was no judge. And since Sugar said all that, he will definitely go out with everything he’s got. That is why we have to beat him there. And the only one who can do that…is here.

“Yoshi-kun, you know what you have to do, right?”

“Yes.”

George knows. He knows what’s going on in the town, as well as probably that Boudicia lost her way. And, he figured that I’m the only one who can do something about this.

“Hey, what’s this about? You’re not forcing Yoshi to do anything dangerous, are you?!”

“Well, that’s how it is. I’ll leave the rest in your hands, Yoshi-kun. Talk to you later.” George ignored Boudicia and ended the call.

“Hey, you parsley bastard! The next time we meet, I will serve you together with some fish and chips!” Boudicia roared into the phone, but I could tell she was energetic deep down.

And of course, her rage didn’t reach Bristol, to begin with. But, he was right. It was time for Boudicia…No, for us to give an answer. Why do we write graffiti? What do we tell the citizens of Bristol?

“Boo-san, I’m sure you’re aware, but we will end up clashing with Sugar. Can you win?”

“…What do you think?”

I couldn’t immediately answer her. I told her that she has no soul. And that hurt her. Just like it hurt me before. Maybe she just wanted me to say that it’s fine to quit. That she can stop writing if she doesn’t want to any longer. But now, I know…it’s not that she doesn’t want to, she is simply lost. And in order to move forward, she has to see the truth, no matter how much it hurts her.

“Honestly, I think it’s impossible as of right now.”

That’s why I didn’t even try to beat around the bush. I have to tell her what I think.

“Just as I said before, I think your graffiti right now has no soul. Meanwhile, Sugar packs a strong and beautiful message. And, is there something you want to convey with your work, Boo-san?”

Boudicia remained silent. She just had her gaze directed at the ground, her lips not moving at all. I could feel my chest tightening up in pain. Meanwhile, I spent my whole time not making up my mind. She has her own life, and I thought I shouldn’t infringe upon that. I just watched over her as she was lost. But, I’m done with that. I’ll accept it all, and give it to her. The answer I found myself.

“…Before coming here, I always thought about what to tell you once I’d met you.”

The London breeze tickled the sweat on my palm. I could tell I was tensing up, as I swallowed my breath.

“In the end, I’m an outsider. I’m not a graffiti writer, I’m not a citizen of Bristol. I can’t give you the answer you need.”

“Well, I know that all too well…” Boudicia showed a complicated face.

“Instead, I’d like to bestow a snippet of knowledge onto you.”

“…Where did that come from?”

“In Japan, we have customs that don’t quite exist in Britain.

“Customs?”

“Yes. When it comes to two people going out, before they even go on dates, they begin by telling the other person of their feelings. This is what you call a kokuhaku, a confession.”

“The heck? But if you don’t actually spend time with that person, you won’t know how you feel, right? And feelings constantly change. Are you gonna get married on the spot or something?”

“I agree. It really is weird.”

“Sure is weird, yeah.”

I looked at her smile.

“So with that in mind, there’s something I’d like to tell you.”

“What is it now?” She gave me a dubious look.

I should have told her sooner. But, as always…I lack behind when it comes to telling others of my feelings.

“I’m in love with you.”

…There, I said it. Now, there was no pulling back any longer. Some things in this world are better left vague. Because it gives us relief and peace of mind. However, I…and Boudicia, too…We have to move forward. That’s how it’s supposed to go.

“Wha…W-Wait. Where did that come from…?!”

She looked at me like she had opened up a jack-in-the-box, freezing up completely. However, I could see her eyes slowly watering up, as she fidgeted and played with her fingers. Seeing her like that, I began feeling guilty. She must already have a lot on her mind, and yet I forced her to carry more baggage. Of course, I don’t know if I did the right thing. But…I just felt like I had to tell her right now.

“People always change. They won’t ever stay the same…or remain in the same place. It’s the same for you and me. In truth, the fact that we met could be regarded as a miracle. Even now, we’re in London, talking like this. It’s truly not understandable.”

“Not understandable…What’s that phrasing…”

“But that is exactly why…No matter where we are, or what we do…whoever you may be with, you are Boo-san. And I’m fine with that. I’m sorry for my selfish confession, but…I don’t think I would be able to go back home to Japan without telling you.”

Soon enough, we’ll be separated again. But, so what? Even if it may end, that doesn’t mean there was never anything, to begin with. Through the time we spent together, I grew attached to her. That’s all it is…and that’s all it has to be.

“I like you, Boo-san.”

In a few seconds, Boudicia showed me a wide range of expressions. However, her cheeks couldn’t hide the fact that they began to turn red. She looked like she wanted to say something, only to close her mouth again, shutting it tightly. She then looked away, turned her head toward the sky, and groaned. Finally, as she looked up at me, she continued.

“So…Going with your Japanese style…What am I supposed to do now?”

“You have two possible answers. Yes or No.”

Only I could tell her about my feelings. And at the same time, only she knows how she feels. Of course, her answer won’t change how I feel.

“I get it.”

She showed a complicated expression, as she must have felt how serious I was.

“But, I can’t give you an answer yet.”

I tried as hard as I could in order to smile.

“Even if nothing changes, I can accept that. In fact, I don’t need your answer, either. I just wanted to tell you.”

I just pushed my feelings onto her. It’s natural that she doesn’t have an answer yet, and I don’t expect one, either. But even so, it felt like a burden was taken off me.

“Then, let’s go home. Taking the bus home might be better, too. And checking now…”

“Yoshi.”

“Yes?”

“I’m not going.”

“Huh?”

At first, I didn’t understand what she was talking about.

“I’m not going home to Bristol.”

“Why?! Is it because of what I…”

“No. Not at all. But…I can’t tell you yet. If I did, it would lose all meaning.”

I looked into her eyes, and she returned that gaze. Her eyes were burning with determination.

“You’ll come to the legal wall, right?”

Boudicia didn’t answer. She just stepped onto the bridge hanging above River Thames with force, lacking all hesitation.

“I understand…Well, I actually don’t, but…”

I didn’t respond to her silence, but to her appearance right now.

“I believe in you, Boo-san.”

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