Chapter 84: Chapter 84

Soon, the door to the other pavilion opened as a girl walked out. 

“Hello Zhao Xieren, let’s eat outside the sect today. I was thinking of something fancy like Tiger’s Den. I have to talk to you about some stuff as well,” Qian Yu said.

“Huh?” Zhao Xieren didn’t expect them to randomly go eat. 

“Don’t worry it’s my treat this time,” Qian Yu laughed. 

“No, it’s not that, let me get changed real quick,” Zhao Xieren said as she was about to head back inside.

Qian Yu grabbed her hand, “No, it’s ok, the sect robes are fine.”

“You’re fine as you are now,” Qian Yu warmly gave her a look in the eyes. 

With Qian Yu holding her hand and staring at her, she complied, “O-ok then.”

“Ahem, anyways we need to hurry since we don’t have a reservation! Sorry about that hehe,” Qian Yu laughed and turned around pulling Zhao Xieren along.

“Huh? No reservation?!” Zhao Xieren yelled. 

A few hours later, the two finally managed to get a spot in Tiger’s Den as they sat at a table on the second floor.

‘Hmm, she doesn’t look that mad at least,’ Qian Yu sighed inwardly. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Zhao Xieren asked.

Qian Yu gave her a smile, “Sorry that I made you wait so long. You seem a little unhappy.”

“It’s fine,” Zhao Xieren, however, had a slightly worried look. 

“Were you bothered that we had to wait 2 hours or rather, is it something else?” Qian Yu asked. 

“W-Why are you asking such a question?” Zhao Xieren felt uncomfortable by Qian Yu’s question and his intentions.

“Sigh, I’m sorry, but I promise you I don’t have bad intentions,” Qian Yu steeled himself. 

Zhao Xieren was silent as she thought. 

“Something else,” Zhao Xieren sighed and answered after a long while. 

“Perhaps, how other people saw us waiting without a reservation at a high end restaurant? Maybe, even your family? What would they think?” Qian Yu asked. Earlier, they had received scornful gazes while waiting outside the restaurant.

Zhao Xieren bit her lip and didn’t say anything as she looked down. “Yes,” Zhao Xieren finally muttered.

Qian Yu stopped for a few minutes, preparing himself and also giving time for Zhao Xieren to think. Continuing he asked, “Zhao Xieren, do you know what it means to be an adult?”

It was a simple question that Qian Yu had thought of. However, it sparked flames of emotions within Zhao Xieren that Qian Yu couldn’t have ever imagined. Her memories from childhood played in her mind.

“Brother! You’re so cool! How did you do that!” The 10 year old Zhao Xieren yelled out. 

Ever since she could remember, she had always seen her brother, Zhao Yong, as her idol. 

“Xie’er, why don’t you be like Yong’er. When he was your age, he was helping out in the family already!” Her father reprimanded her one day. 

Born with a silver spoon in her mouth, she wasn’t always a hard worker. Still, even if there was only a one year age gap between the two, they were always compared to each other, cultivation or not.

“Zhao Xieren! Your brother was already at the 6th stage of body refinement when he was 13. You’re the same age now but you’re only at the 2nd stage of body refinement!” One of her aunts had scolded her. 

Over the years, she could never compare to the accomplishments of her brother. 

“Uncle! Why can’t I go on the family hunt with brother and cousin! Last year and even the year before you said I could go but why can’t I go!” A 14 year old Zhao Xieren screamed at her uncle. 

Personally, she was fine with it...

“The hunt is for adults. Zhao Xieren, just go back and play or whatever. We’ll be back in a few days,” her uncle yelled back.

However, as she slowly became overshadowed by her brother, she was thrown aside, treated as a child. 

“Fine! Fine! Fine! Fine! Just wait until next year uncle! I’ll show you I can be an adult too,” Zhao Xieren threw a tantrum. From then on, Zhao Xieren worked her hardest, attempting to change their minds. Whatever her family wanted from her, she would do her best.

“Aunt! I did it! Are you proud of me?” Zhao Xieren was ecstatic. When they were happy with her performance, she was happy.

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“Grandpa… I’m sorry, I-I won’t mess up next time,” Zhao Xieren cried. When they weren’t happy with her performance, she was sad. 

The years passed as she continued like that. 

Unknowingly, she had blinded herself, becoming even more childlike.

“I don’t,” Zhao Xieren wiped her eyes as she came back from her memories.

On the other hand, Qian Yu, oblivious to what she was feeling, took a deep breath.

“Being an adult means you are capable of being independent. You don’t need to depend on others,” Qian Yu started. “I have never depended on anyone,” it was a short, but powerful statement that had come from a Martial Emperor of the 1st era, some 300,000 years ago. He was titled the “Loneliest Wolf” and had pretty much always been an “adult”, in the context of taking care of himself since he was 5 years old. 

“It also means you are someone who can make decisions for yourself, and not be swayed by what other people think,” Qian Yu emphasized. “The egos of mankind are cruel. Yet what is more cruel is losing your self-respect to save their egos,” this quote had come from a scholar some tens of thousands ago. Born as an “accident” by his parents who were slaves at the time, he had always been looked down upon. However, he ignored them and when he was freed 20 years later, he started teaching himself and eventually became one of the greatest scholars.

“There were a lot of things that happened during my trip that I didn’t tell you. Some of them are my most happy memories. Some of them were also the most painful and worst memories I have had since the death of my grandpa,” Qian Yu continued.

“Yet, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned during all of that was that no one is perfect. I’m nowhere near perfect. I’ve done many things correctly. But I also make my own fair share of mistakes. And you, and everyone else in this world, is like me. In the end, no one is perfect,” Qian Yu closed his eyes for a few seconds as he reminiscenced.

“As your friend, it hurts to see you down and dejected most of the time. I may not know everything that is bothering you but I know that you worry too much about the expectations of others. You are yourself and like I’ve said before, you’re fine as you are now.” Qian Yu finished.

A long silence pervaded the room.

A while later, Zhao Xieren lifted her head as a small smile could be seen, “An adult… I’ll try doing that… but you’ll be taking responsibility if I get kicked out right?” 

“You better not anger your family on purpose. Anyways, let’s finish the food,” Qian Yu smiled and joked as he saw that she had gotten his message across, despite its direct manner.

“Thank you, though… for giving me courage I guess,” Zhao Xieren said.

“I’ll always be there to support you,” Qian Yu said as he started eating again. 

“Hehe, you’ll see,” Zhao Xieren laughed as she started eating again.

Qian Yu glanced at her. Seeing her eyes, they were a little different. More clear, brighter, and energetic, yet Qian Yu also felt a hint of a rebellious spirit in them. 

The food was cold by now, but it tasted better than ever.

Finishing their meal, they left the restaurant. Zhao Xieren had abnormally taken the lead walking in front of Qian Yu. Following her, Qian Yu stayed silent as the two randomly walked around. 

After two hours, they had finally returned to their mountain. The full moon was hanging high in the dark sky.

“Qian Yu…” Zhao Xieren had turned around. 

Her feet were twiddling and her voice was shaky, “Do you like me?” 

“What!?” Qian Yu didn’t think she would ask him something like this. 

Yet he regained his composure immediately. It wasn’t a hard answer, “I do. You have attracted me since the day I first met you and have a special spot in my heart, a first crush I would guess.”

However, he couldn’t take advantage of her like this, “But… I’m not one that is satisfied with one woman.” 

Zhao Xieren didn’t seem surprised however. “Yes, I know. Sister Bai as well, right?” Zhao Xieren laughed instead. 

“Huh? No, I wasn’t referring to her,” Qian Yu waved his hands in the air.

“Really? You guys were always a lot closer... so I was kind of jealous to be honest,” Zhao Xieren scratched her head.

“I don’t know. Our relationship is not simple and I don’t know what she thinks about me,” Qian Yu shrugged.

“Anyways, I-” Zhao Xieren shook her head as she grew ripe as a tomato. “I like you too but…”

Her smile disappeared as her face was replaced with a sorry look, “Every time I think of being with you, I still feel guilty.”

She then turned around, quickly heading towards her room. “I’m sorry but I will just need some time. If you still feel the same by the time I get over that...” Zhao Xieren’s voice grew quiet and disappeared as she scurried into her residence.

In her departure, Qian Yu silently walked back to his own pavilion and immediately flopped onto the bed.

‘How did she grow so bold?’ Qian Yu was flabbergasted at Zhao Xieren’s actions. 

A few hours later, Qian Yu finally managed to fall asleep.

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