When I felt myself arrive back in the real world, I was still tired. I hadn’t actually fully lost consciousness for any length of time since this had happened, and I decided right then and there that it was still sleep time. I placed my helmet on my bedside table and snuggled back into bed. Now that I was just laying here and savouring the feel of my bed, I realised how nice it felt, and how huge my bed felt. It was really nice and cozy, and very quickly I had dozed off again.
So it was to my surprise when I found myself standing on a cloud in the middle of a huge blue sky. Above me was a sporadic layer of cloud, and above that another. Below me was the same, thin and sporadic levels of cloud that somehow did not block the view of the bright azure sky, despite their seemly unending nature. High in the sky, several glowing gold orbs hung, and like small suns they radiated heat and light in a comforting manner.
“I see you have deigned to visit me at last small one,” said a kind voice from behind me.
I tried to scream and gasp at the same time but I kinda did both and it hurt. Sitting cross legged behind me was an utterly perfect woman, one who was also very large. If she’d been standing, I would have thought she was around 12 feet fall. She was still taller than me when she was sitting down!
“I seem to be making a habit out of giving you a fright don't I Sylanna?” she said with the promise of a laugh dancing between her words.
I calmed down from my fright and gave her a smile, “Yeah, oh my god everyone keeps startling me! I’m going to have a heart attack I swear!”
“Your body is much too sturdy for that to happen my dear. Now, I heard your prayers, and you had a lot of questions. Would you like to talk about some of them?” She asked.
“Uh, yeah. Uh,” I stammered, trying to collect my thoughts, “Why did you turn me into a girl? Into my adventurer body?”
“That’s a complex question, but also a simple one. I will keep my explanation within the realm of the simple. You are a female soul or near enough, at least when your body inhabits that of a humanoid,” she paused and shook herself, “sorry, I said I would keep it simple and yet I failed almost instantly. What I am trying to say, is that you soul and body did not match, and since a soul is all but impossible to change or manipulate, I altered your body instead. As for why you specifically look like you do now, I did not know what you would like to look like, and therefore I chose to copy the body you designed yourself.”
“Gosh, okay. That’s a lot to unpack. Thank you for explaining. You were right too, obviously,” I said looking up at her.
“Indeed I was.” she replied.
After she replied, she reached out and picked me up by the waist, her huge hands easily encircling my small body. Her action elicited a squeak of surprised protest from my lips, which she ignored. Very gently she sat me in her lap, still facing her. She was massive from this short distance. Using a thumb that was almost as thick as my wrist she began to rub up and down my back in a soothing manner.
“What are your other questions my little priestess?” she arched an eyebrow at me.
“Um. Oh cr- darn uh. What. What. Oh! Right, what happened to my sexuality? I was… kind of gay. Like I thought guys were cute and hot and stuff, but when you changed me suddenly I’m not anymore?” I stammered the question through my shock about being casually picked up like that.
“That is a question I do not know the full answer to. Your sexuality should not have changed due to the changes I made. However I can speculate. The interaction between all the parts that make up who we are is complicated. Some go their entire lives with a steady understanding of themselves, while others will find things like their sexuality changing or new parts becoming revealed. I am no expert on such matters, I am no goddess of love or desire after all. You will have to explore your missing desire for your friend as well as the new desire growing within you, under your own terms Sylanna. I am sorry,” she said with a sympathetic tone.
I have a big sigh at her answer, “Well, thanks anyway. Um I guess my next question is can you help me with my documentation problem?”
I went through an explanation of my problems regarding my lack of identity and my idea regarding the spell. All the while I melted in her arms under the gentle motion of her thumb. When I finished she gazed into the cloudscape in thought.
Finally she said, “I do not know much of your world. It works by strange rules that seem to resemble those of my own, but function differently at the same time. I can tell you that your idea to transfer a spell pattern on your body will work. I will make sure of it.”
“You’re sure?” I asked hopefully.
She smiled, “Absolutely certain.”
“Phew, okay that's good. Also, why do I still feel tired here?” I asked.
“Because technically you are not sleeping little one,” She said, gathering me up in her lap, “Now sleep, I’ll keep you company.”
Nestled in her arms warm and safe, I began to doze.
“Hmmmm,” I hummed, “wait what was that about a new desire?”
“That is for you to figure out Sylanna”
“You mean like I’m getting a crush on someone?”
“I said sleep child, don't make me force the matter, “ she said with a smile in her voice.
“No you sleep!” I mumbled at her.
Then I fell asleep.
When I woke, it was in my own bed. I had moment of confusion when the arm that reached for my phone to check the time was thin and delicate, instead of the old male arm my sleepy mind expected. When I remembered my new body, I felt a smile break free from my mouth and lift my whole face. It felt so good to be me, finally me. I lay in bed for about 15 minutes while I woke up a bit more, grinning like a madwoman the whole time. Eventually though I got antsy, and hopped out of bed. Syl hungry. Syl get food.
I wandered out and down the hall towards the kitchen where I found mum and dad cooking a late breakfast. They appeared to be making french toast, bacon and other assorted breakfast foods. It was their ritual on saturday mornings, as they didn’t get much time together during the weekdays with their busy work schedule. Dad saw me first.
“Morning Syl, how did you sleep?” he asked me.
“It was good. I feel great!” I said happily, and bounced over to watch them cook from a closer vantage.
“Syl dear, we’re out of maple syrup, can you run down to the store and grab some?” asked mum as she flipped another piece of frying food.
“Yeah sure, gimme a bit then.” I told them both before wandering back to my room.
Okay, what am I going to wear. Just going to the dairy, probably something casual. I picked my blue pleated skirt and a black tshirt with some symbol in white on the front. Oh and I put on underwear and a sports bra. My vans went on my feet and I headed back to the kitchen.
“Here use this,” she said handing me a twenty dollar bill, “And be careful sweetie.”
“Yeah mum, I will, but like, I can do magic so I’ll probably be fine.”
“Don’t let that stop you from being careful young lady,” she told me sternly.
“Yup yup, be right back!” I chirped, and with that I was off.
Outside it was quite windy. My hair immediately wound itself around my head and tried to strangle me. I also realised I’d forgotten to brush it. Back inside I went, bouncing in and towards my room.
“Mum please show me how to tie my hair up so it doesn’t kill me,” I said as I rushed past towards my room.
I grabbed my brush and tried to tug it through my hair, but it got caught and I squeaked at the pain.
“Be gentle with it!” Mum said as she came in through my bedroom door.
She took the brush from me and began to efficiently brush my hair, maintaining just the right amount of force to tame my wild hair at the same time as allowing it to remain unbroken and attached to my scalp. Then she took a scrunchie we’d bought and pulled my hair through it, once and then halfway the next time, then she wound it around and around into a hasty bun.
“There you go now, that should keep the wind from messing it up again,” she said, her hand sitting on my shoulder, “Off you go!”
Off I went, back out the door without death by hair this time. Other than the wind, it was a fairly pleasant day, the sky was a vibrant blue and a few lonely clouds made the mad dash from horizon to horizon. The store was about ten minutes walk away, so I turned and headed down the road. It was a nice walk. I saw a few joggers out taking advantage of the cooling wind, their strides matching the beat of the music I could not hear.
Almost to the store, I walked past the large grass field where school and club teams played rugby and football on the many delineated areas. I slowed a bit as I walked past, because one of the teams in a girls soccer match right next to me was from my school. I heard their parents yelling encouragement to their daughters and abuse at the ref, a poor girl of about 23 who appeared harried. It looked like the game was in it’s last moments. I hoped we won. I wasn’t a very sporty individual, but I did have school pride somewhere in me.
Making my way into the store I gazed around at the shelves trying to figure out where the syrup would be hiding. Aha. It was up there. Oh. Up there. It was on a shelf that I knew would be just out of reach. I stood underneath the offending coagulated sugar and pouted at it with force, as though it would fall into my arms by angry glare alone. As I stared at it, an arm reached right over the top of me and then brought the bottle down so I could pluck it from the helpful grasp of whoever it was.
“Thankyou!” I said automatically.
It was a guy from my school, in a grass stained rugby shirt. Specifically, it was Kegan. His blond hair was messy and caked in dirt and his blue eyes eyed me up and down. He was very conventionally attractive. I blinked at him a few times, felt my throat close up at how close he was, and took several steps back.
“No problem,” was all he said, but his eyes said more.
As fast as was politely possible, I exited the situation stage orchestra pit, bolting for the bored indian man behind the cash register. I placed the syrup down on the counter and he efficiently told me the price. I handed him the twenty note, got some change, and put it in my pocket. I had no pocket, I was wearing a skirt. The coins and ten dollar note scattered onto the floor. I groaned and picked them up.
“Can I have a bag? A small one?” I asked.
Cash register dude gave me a small plastic bag and I shoved the syrup and money into it. When I turned around, Kegan was standing behind me. I squeaked in fright and bolted for the door. He watched me leave with a bemused expression on his face before turning to pay for the drink he wanted.
When I made it outside, I was more than flustered over the whole episode. If I’d just held my cool like a normal fucking person I wouldn’t have made a fool of myself. I hurried to get some distance between myself and the scene of the crime, but I wasn’t out of the woods yet. As I walked past the sports fields, the girls were all slowly making their way with their parents to their cars. I tried to be polite and waited for groups to meander past me, and I did well until I heard someone speak.
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“Syl?”
Instant icy dread launched into my stomach like it had been fired from orbit at an appreciable fraction of the speed of light. My money was on around 0.2C. Turning around, I came face to face with a rather dishevelled girl with mousy brown hair and huge green eyes. She was also very pretty, in an ‘I don’t realise I’m pretty and don’t bother with my looks much’ kind of way. Her athletic body was squeezed into our high school’s sports uniform. I gulped.
“Holy shit it’s you. Like, even the ears. Your hair is up and you’ve got normal clothes but holy shit,” she exclaimed quietly.
Her voice was soft, like it didn’t get used much and still had the cling film on the surface. I opened my mouth, then closed it, then flushed a deep red.
“Oh uh. Sorry. Right, you’re super shy. It’s me, Karen. I didn’t know you lived around here? That’s crazy. I thought you would be from like at least aussie. Wait no that’s wrong you totally have a kiwi accent. I’m sorry, I-” all of a sudden she realised she was babbling and her yaw snapped shut, her face turning just as red as mine was.
We stood there staring at each other, her huge eyes dilated as they stared into mine.
I didn’t realise how lost I’d been in them until I heard a waspish voice snap, “Karen! What are you doing? Who is this? We need to get going, you have violin practice to go to!”
The woman who spoke was somewhere in her fifties, and her waspish voice was matched by a waspish figure. Her hair was dyed blond, her nails were immaculate, and her skin was beginning to get that leathery look that frequent tanners got at her age. She was also scowling down at me with thinly veiled contempt.
“Um, sorry. I have to… go. My parents… see you Karen,” I mumbled, taking a step back from the trophy witch in fear.
“Yeah, sorry. See you in game then,” she mumbled back.
We stared at each other a moment longer, until a big man with bigger muscles wrapped an arm around Karen and said, “Alright Pea. Time to go. Who’s your friend-”
Unfortunately for K-Dad the Buff, I had bolted.
****
When I got home I was a little bit puffed. My hair was wisping out of my bun as I plonked the bag on the kitchen bench where everything was ready. Mum and dad were cuddling on the couch in the sitting area.
“I think I almost died getting that syrup. I had to talk to people and everything! It was awful!” I sighed.
“Yes dear,” mum said as she walked by and began taking the plates to the table so we could eat.
Breakfast was great as usual, I ate my fill, which turned out to be not a whole lot and stared at my half eaten plate in mourning. It looked so yummy, but I was so full.
“Oh. I guess we didn't think about the new portion sizes you’d need now did we?” asked mum.
Dad ‘helped’ by snagging a piece of toast off my plate. I read it a heartfelt eulogy as it left me forever.
“Yeah I guess so,” I said looking glumly down at my plate.
Once we were done we took our plates to the kitchen. I helped clean all the dishes alongside my parents. While we washed the big pieces and threw the rest in the washing machine my parents told me of the plan they’d come up with.
“We think your best bet is for Sam to unenroll in your school, and then Syl to enroll as a separate person once your documents have changed. As far as the world is concerned you’ll be a new student. They don't really need to know, and you can tell only the people that do matter,” my dad told me.
My mum continued for him, “Really we’re lucky it happened when it did. A few months later and you may have completed some assignments for your first level of NCEA. Your teachers may have recognised the previous assignments.”
“Okay cool, that's smart. I’m travelling to a bigger city right now with some people, should be about four days til we get there. Hopefully there's a mage powerful enough to set the spell up for me there. I’ll also need to raise the money to buy it,” I told them.
“I’m not sure I like the idea of you missing several days of school Syl,” Dad said with a frown.
“Oh, no I meant ingame days dad. The time in the game runs three times faster. It really depends on how long all four of us in the group can stay logged on at the same time,” I Hastily explained.
Dad was not convinced. He had a frown on. “Don't drag your feet so you can get out of more school days okay sprite?”
“Yes daaaad I know.” I said with the signature teenaged eyeroll, “Plus if you really want me to go to school, I can try the glamour type spell I have.”
“Glamour type spell?” asked Mum and Dad in unison.
“Yeah um, let me try it now,” I said uncertainly.
I wasn’t ingame, so I couldn’t bring up the ability description to see how the spell was cast. I pictured myself as I had been previously and hastily changed the clothing in my minds eye to casual male wear. With a frown I willed the spell to work in the same manner as my other spells, and felt my body shift slightly. It also didn’t shift. I had the once again surreal experience I’d felt from my first few hours playing Pellan rise, where my body felt the same, but I was different. The dissonance was back. When I felt something shift between my legs I almost threw up. Hastily altering the spell so that I still had female genitals, I breathed a sigh of relief. Much better. They wouldn’t be able to see that through the clothing my old body was wearing anyway.
“Wow,” breathed Dad while Mum stood there with an open mouth.
“Why didn’t you do that in the first place?” asked Mum when she was able to use her jaw again.
“Uhhhh, because I’m dumb?” I asked.
“You are many things Sylanna, but dumb is not one of them,” Dad said, reaching tentatively out to ruffle my hair. It worked, but it was supremely strange.
“It feels like it used to,” he said in wonder.
“Really?” I asked, reaching up to confirm it myself, “Huh, it does!”
“How long can you keep that up?” asked Mum.
“The spell said like five to eight hours or something but… I don’t know I already feel pretty uncomfortable like this,” I said with a wince.
“Well why don’t you drop it for now and we can figure out if you feel up to going to school on monday?” Dad asked.
“That sounds fine,” I nodded, less than enthusiastically, and dropped the spell with a sigh.
Back in the safety of my room I was about to put my helmet on when I noticed my phone going off. It was the group chat with my friends. They were talking about Pellan and how everyone was doing. Dana and Greg were almost to the city, they had started closer and planned to get ingame soon to complete the journey. One particular exchange raised my eyebrows almost to the roof.
Greg: So how did your hot date go Jeremy? ;)
Jeremy: I don't know man. She's super anxious about people and I get this vibe that she knows I’m coming on to her and isn't interested.
Greg: Maybe she's really a dude? Haha you’re hitting on a guy!
Jeremy: No!!! She's definitely a girl. She acts super girly and moves super girly.
Dana: Yeah but Sam moves and acts super girly and he’s a guy.
Sam: UM.
Jeremy: Nah Syls definitely a girl. She moves like she knows her body, not like you see some people ingame who look a bit awkward cos they're used to moving something way different.
Jeremy: Besides, she's not keen anyway.
Greg: All good haha I was just teasing ya Jer.
I moved like a girl? Even when I was Sam? Fuck I was dense. How did I not realise this earlier?
Whenever they found out, I’m pretty sure Dana was going to start telling me she knew all along.
I got into my gaming clothing and hopped into bed to log in.
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