Chapter 56: My Worth

I kneel there motionless.

Even though my life was saved by Lord Michael… Even though he gave me a key to be stronger… can I really do it?

For one, this is the very thing that I once rejected. This is the accursed item that caused this entire debacle in the first place. It’s a Demon’s cross, and it, or rather, its comrade’s temptation was what took Peter and Lady Beatrice from me.

And now, it’s right here in my hand. Given by Lord Michael too. Questions keep flooding my mind without any signs of stopping. Why did he have this Demon’s cross, if the Angels were the ones fighting against them? Why did he give it to me? Did he expect me to betray him and join Peter’s side, or did he want me to exploit this power for the Angels? Why would the Angels need a Demon’s power in the first place?

I don’t understand. I can’t understand. What is right, and what is wrong? But even if I knew all of it… even if I could distinguish the right and the wrong… even if I could settle my heart on one side… what good would I do?

I witness as Lord Michael perfectly defends himself from Lord Gabriel’s attacks, even if the reason why two Archangels would fight each other is beyond me. However, what’s agonizing about the exchange sequence isn’t the fact that we’re turning on one another, but rather the fact that Lord Michael did all of it with my broken rapier.

The same rapier that I, with its full blade, couldn’t even keep up with Peter – the childhood friend whom I always beat in the past. The one that broke the blade in half with only a strike from his sheathed sword. And now, I’m seeing Lord Michael swing that broken blade with such precision and lethality that I could never have imagined.

And to add insult to injury, once the others come to Peter’s aid, I can’t even keep up with them. From the knight’s test, I knew that they were powerful combatants. But never before did I imagine they were in fact the same people tempted by this devilish power… No, that’s not it. It was surprising to see them with their crosses, but that’s not why I’m so mad right now.

I’m mad because they, like Peter, have also crossed a level I can never hope to achieve.

Spears thrown with absolute precision. Winds that howl the sound of death. Thunderbolts raining from heaven itself to condemn their foe. And in the center of it all, Peter, conjuring a pillar of light so bright, so massive that it can level buildings, let alone a few insignificant people.

Even if I trained my whole life, I couldn’t replicate that. Even if I trained my whole life, I couldn’t stop that by any means. But that’s not all. It seems like fate keeps toying with my miserable life.

Eliza. The sheltered princess that’s only a fraction of what her older sister could have been. The girl whom I was forced to take care of, whom I’ve always harbored a feeling of disdain for. You were never supposed to be where you are right now. You were never supposed to replace her. You were never supposed to be good enough.

And yet, here you are. With powers unknown even to me. In just a span of minutes, you’re now able to stand on even ground with the people whom I could only wish to be on the same playing field.

Tell me. How could you do it? How couldn’t I do the same? What do I have to do to be able to stand on the same stage as you all?

I can’t accept this. I won’t accept this. I want to do so much more. I always believed that if it was me, I could do it. I could bring forth the change this nation needed. But now what? How could I ever hope to achieve it without strength?

It’s not fair. It’s not fair! I’m the only one that cares about this land! I’m the only one that cares about the people in this place! And yet… I’m now the only one without the power to change anything.

Is this supposed to be it? After all that hard work, this is what I’ll end up with? Just a lowly pawn, forever to be used? Just a weakling, forever to look up to the world where I wanted to be in?

No. I will push further. I must push further. Crosses choosing their owners? I don’t believe it! I alone choose my own future! If I have to sell my soul to the Demon inside of this cross, then so be it! I can’t stay in the same spot anymore! I have to move forward, and I won’t take no for an answer!

No matter the foe, I won’t back down! No matter the obstacle, I will persevere!

I let out a battle cry amidst the field of magical powers clashing in full force. I may have nothing but my fists and my conviction, but I believe that I’ll be able to do something!

You are reading story Peters’ Crosses at novel35.com

I charge at Peter – the one in the most vulnerable position on the field. But what meets me at the end is a sharp pain that runs through my chest, a splatter of crimson before my eyes, and the feeling of my legs giving out to me.

Why? Why didn’t it work? Why didn’t I do anything? Why was I cut in half in such a humiliating matter? Is this some kind of twisted joke that God decided to pull on me?

Why? Why? Why? Why? What did I do wrong, O’ Lord? What did I do to deserve this outcome? Why do you keep toying with me like this? Even in my death, I can’t have a decent last moment?

I don’t want that… I don’t want it to end here…

“Oh brother, you really are pathetic, huh?”

An unfamiliar voice sounds in my head. A mature woman’s voice, sweet as nectar, soothing as a spring breeze. I soon find myself floating in a pitch-black void, standing opposite of me is a figure shrouded in a dark cloak.

“I can’t believe it. You’re actually just Kay, but worse,” the voice sounds from beneath the hood, while her hands – what soft, silky, pearl-like skin she has – rub what’s supposed to be her temples in pain. “Do you even think for a second that what your action would cause?”

“I… I just want to do something…”

“And what are those actions for? What do you hope to achieve with it?”

“To… protect what’s dear to me.”

“And what is that?”

“It is… my home. This place right here.”

The hooded figure stands still for a while. After a moment of pondering, she shakes her head in disappointment. “Wrong answer. Oh so wrong answer.”

“I…”

“But…” raising her hand to interrupt me, she continues. “As I said, you’re just like Kay, but worse. So, I believe there’s at least some potential in you. I’ll give you one chance; use my powers in this battle, and if you manage to convince me, I’ll officially recognize you as my new vessel and partner.”

“And if I don’t?”

“You die. After all, you were already dead the moment Balam’s boy cut you in half. Consider my saving you right now a temporary gift. So, do we have a deal?”

“… I have nothing else to lose. Deal, Demon.”

“Belial, Demon of Love and Death, at your service.”   

You can find story with these keywords: Peters’ Crosses, Read Peters’ Crosses, Peters’ Crosses novel, Peters’ Crosses book, Peters’ Crosses story, Peters’ Crosses full, Peters’ Crosses Latest Chapter