Chapter 19: 19

He is looking for her!

Zhao Xitai coughed repeatedly and his face turned red.

His servant hurriedly took out a medicine bottle, removed the cork and brought it to him.

After Zhao Xitai took a few deep breaths from the medicine bottle, he stopped coughing and recovered.

There was a hint of shame in his eyes, and he said in a low voice, “I’m really useless. As soon as we meet, I let you see a joke…”

He hurriedly explained again, “I’m not usually like this! I didn’t expect to meet you here. I remembered some things from childhood, and I was excited. I carelessly stopped breathing.”

Mu Fulan smiled.

“Shizi (heir) is going to see wangfei, right?”

“I just came out from wangfei’s place. You should quickly go!”

She deliberately raised her voice. After speaking, she nodded to Zhao Xitai, called her maid, and continued to move forward. 

Zhao Xitai’s eyes fell on her. As she slowly turned to leave, he suddenly caught up to her and stopped her again.

“Princess!”

Mu Fulan turned her head.

She seemed to overlap with his childhood memories, but has turned into a stunning beauty that he could hardly recognize at first glance. On his face, a faint blush appeared as if he had just coughed and had not receded.

“When I saw you this morning, I wanted to explain something to you. When you left Shangjing, it was not that I deliberately did not go to see you off. I knew you were leaving, and I wanted to see you off, but…”

It was just that at that time, his mother forbade him to see off his former palace playmate, the little girl whose eyes curved like crescent moons when she smiled.

Because of his poor health, his mother kept a very strict eye on him. Don’t do this, don’t move that. Since he was a child, he had no companion. Everyone respected him, but no one played with him. When they saw him passing by, they had to avoid him, or they would be implicated if he fell ill.

Only she did not avoid him and plays with him.

He likes to spend time with her, no matter what she does. Whether she was quietly studying or swinging in the imperial garden, he could secretly watch her for a long time, without getting bored.

Zhao Xitai paused.

“…It happened that I fell ill again. When I got better, you had already left.”

“You don’t blame me, do you?” He asked carefully.

The matters of childhood were so long ago, so small that they were not worth mentioning at all. If he had not brought it up, she would have no memory of it.

She could not resent the son of Qi wang who had been caught up in a cruel power struggle and lost his life like herself. If he were to ask for medical help, she would bring him to Yaoweng. But she really did not intend to talk to him about these meaningless old things.

“I have forgotten the little things from many years ago, so there is no need to worry about it.” She said lightly.

Zhao Xitai stared at her.

“Princess, how have you been all these years? A few years ago, I heard that your father promised you to that bandit named Xie…”

A slight cough suddenly came from nearby.

“Is this Zhao Shizi? Just now, I happened to meet Xie Jiedu and heard some noise coming from here. I was afraid it would disturb the Empress Dowager, so I came over to take a look. It turned out that shizi was here. I heard that you arrived a few days ago, what a coincidence to meet here today!”

“Cao Jin has seen shizi!” 

With a smile on his face, Eunuch Cao came over, bowed to Zhao Xitai, then turned to Mu Fulan and called her respectfully “Princess”.

Mu Fulan pretended to have just seen him and glanced behind Eunuch Cao.

Xie Changgeng did not come over and just stood there.

When Zhao Xitai heard that Xie Changgeng was also there, he was startled. He raised his eyes to look, his face could not help but show his slight embarrassment.

But soon, his expression turned to contempt and he stared at Xie Changgeng coldly.

Xie Changgeng walked over and stopped outside the doorway.

His eyes fell on Zhao Xitai who was on the opposite side.

“What is Zhao Shizi doing here? I know that Qi wangfei asked the Empress Dowager to allow shizi to accompany her into the temple today. But if I remember correctly, you are only limited to the Buddhist hall. Shizi is not a child, you should know that the back temple courtyard is not a place where you can stay for long. If there is no urgent matter, it is better to go quickly.”

His expression and was calm, but there was a faint murderous tone of command.

Zhao Xitai’s face became a little ugly, and he said, “I’m here to see my mother, are you stopping me?”

Xie Changgeng smiled.

“I don’t dare. Since shizi is going to see wangfei, I will ask someone to escort you. The Empress Dowager is resting near here. If shizi accidentally intrudes and disturbs her, it will be my dereliction of my duty.”

He turned to Cao Jin.

“I will trouble Eunuch Cao to lead shizi to Qi wangfei.”

Cao Jin responded and came up with a smile.

“Zhao shizi, please follow me.”

Zhao Xitai’s pale face quickly showed a blush of anger and indignation.

He paused for a moment, gritted his teeth, turned towards Mu Fulan and said softly, “Princess, I’ll go to my mother’s place first.” After speaking, he turned his head, stared at Xie Changgeng angrily, and walked away at a brisk pace.

His two servants hurriedly followed. Cao Jin also went.

The people left leaving only Mu Fulan and Xie Changgeng, one standing inside the door and the other standing outside the door.

The atmosphere suddenly became somewhat strange. Xie Changgeng’s eyes were a little gloomy, and he said to the perplexed maid standing beside him, “Send the princess to rest.” 

He then glanced at Mu Fulan, and said coldly, “This is your home, don’t walk around if you have nothing to do!”

Mu Fulan watched him leave with his servant. He probably should not know that she had been watching him and Cao Jin’s actions and slowly breathed a sigh of relief.

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…

After the noon break, Empress Liu finished reciting the second half of the sutra. Around shen shi (3-5pm), the rituals were finally finished for the day. After a short rest, she was ready to leave for the city.

The evening bell rang in Huguo Temple. From the mountain gate to the foot of the mountain, the monks were led by the abbot to send Empress Liu down the mountain.

After a long day of work, everyone was tired, and the women in the procession were eager to go down the mountain and get on the carriage to return to the city. No one made a sound. There was only the slight rustling sound of the rich and precious clothes with movement.

From the foot of the mountain to the mountain gate, there are one hundred and eight steps built to symbolise the one hundred and eight gates of enlightenment in the mortal world. Each step is to cross one gate to free oneself from worldly concerns.

Mu Fulan followed the crowd and followed the stone steps outside the mountain gate, descending step by step to the foot of the mountain. 

The steward came to pick her up and Mu Fulan walked to the carriage that she rode in. She was about to get on, when suddenly, deep in her heart, she felt another mysterious feeling similar to when she first arrived this morning.

There seemed to be some mysterious force that was attracting her back.

She turned her head and looked at the mountain gate behind her.

As the sun was setting, the forest darkened. Iin the distance, the mountain gate at the end of the one hundred and eight mountain steps looked like a layer of red gold.

A flock of mountain birds returning to their nests at sunset were alarmed by the sound of the evening bell. They were fluttering their wings and circling back and forth above the main ridge of the mountain gate.

The moment she turned back, Mu Fulan’s gaze froze.

In the light of the setting sun, she saw a small figure behind the wide open door.

It was a boy of about two or three years old quietly standing in a corner behind the threshold as if attracted by the movement outside the mountain gate.

The moment that little figure came into view, Mu Fulan’s heart burst open as if it had been hit hard by something.

She had seemed to see her Xi’er! Xi’er, who accompanied her everyday in the cold old house in Xie County!

She must have been mistaken!

She tried to open her eyes wider  to se more clearly.

However, a monk came out and took the boy’s hand and led him inside.

The child was taken inside, but as if he sensed something, he turned around. He turned his head and glanced in Mu Fulan’s direction.

Soon, the small figure disappeared behind the mountain gate, out of sight.

Mu Fulan’s pupils were dilated to the extreme, and she couldn’t move, even her breathing stopped.

She had a feeling.

At the foot of the mountain, there were so many people but the boy who resembled Xi’er, before he left, looked back, looking for her.

He is looking for her!

At this moment, she forgot everything around her, turned around abruptly and ran back under the amazed and puzzled gazes of the people around her. She walked up the mountain steps, following the direction of the mountain gate.

Empress Liu had already gotten into the palace carriage, Under the escort of the imperial army and the eunuchs, the palace carriage took the lead and slowly left.

Xie Changgeng took the reins from his servant. He was about to mount his horse when he glanced back behind him to see her leave the crowd behind and ascend the mountain steps alone at a brisk pace. In a blink of an eye, she was up a dozen steps, her figure in a hurry, as if something urgent was waiting for her up there.

He looked at the mountain gate and except for some monks who were still performing rituals, there was nothing unusual.

He frowned, immediately dismounted, ran after her, climbed the steps with great strides, stretched out his hand and grabbed her wrist.

“Everyone’s gone, what are you doing up here again?”

He lowered his voice and asked her at a volume that only he and she could hear.

Mu Fulan’s breath was disordered and she was gasping for breath. She turned her head and met the two stern eyes that the man behind her cast towards her, full of displeasure, and suddenly came to her senses.

She tried her best to suppress her heart pounding in her chest and closed her eyes, When she had calmed her mind, she slowly opened her eyes.

“…I seem to have lost a hairpin. I think it fell where I rested at noon. I was in a hurry and wanted to go back to find…”

Xie Changgeng’s eyes swept across her black hair, and slowly loosened his grip on her wrist and said, “I’ll have someone go back and find it for you.”

“Thank you.”

Mu Fulan said in a low voice without looking at him. She lowered her eyes, turned around, and went down the steps, boarded the carriage, lowered the curtain and sat down.

Xie Changgeng came back this night, and through the curtain, he said to Mu Fulan who was already on the bed, “I asked someone to search all the places you’ve been, and they said they couldn’t find the hairpin.”

“You better think about it carefully, it’s not lost, it’s in someone elses hands.”

His tone sounded restrained and flat, but the unkind meaning came out.

“When I came back this evening, I realised that I had misremembered. I didn’t wear it when I went out this morning, and the hairpin was in the jewellery box. I’m sorry to bother you.” A response came from the bed in a low voice.

Xie Changgeng paused.

The bed curtain was hanging low and she was inside, but she never showed her face.

He frowned, turned and left with a cold face.

Mu Fulan dared not let him see her.

She was afraid that her eyes or expressions would reveal her chaotic mood at the moment.

In her mind, the little figure she saw in front of the mountain gate in the evening appeared over and over again.

She told herself that it was just an illusion.

It was because she missed Xi’er so much that she regarded other children as her Xi’er, and when the child looked back, she insisted that he was looking for her.

But deep down in her heart, another thought was like fire, which made her toss and turn, wishing the night would pass sooner.

She wants to go to Huguo Temple again to find the child she had seen this evening outside the mountain gate.

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