Chapter 34: Scaling Curtain Walls

The chaos had settled down. Tak and the Clerics were grouped up in a circle in the middle of the temple, seated, and speaking in turns.

“H-hello, I-I’m Amelia.”

"“Hello, Sister Amelia.”"

“Care to speak of your experience, Sister Amelia?” Tak asked.

“Y-yes. I … I never thought such a thing could happen to me.”

Her fellow Clerics nodded their heads.

“… I was there, crawling on the floor, gasping for breath, when I saw two little knees in the corner of my eye.” Amelia calmed herself, playing with her fingers, hands clasped over her lap. “S-she knelt for me!” A goddess! Kneeling! “I … S-she’s just too good for this world!”

She broke down into sobs, being patted on the back by her sisters beside her.

***

While that was happening, Minimine ushered the others—Kalender, Page, and Jyn—to stand, and she led them to the bath’s door.

Kalender grew confused. “Huh? Wait, Minimine?”

“Mimi,” she replied. “Call me Mimi.”

Page’s heart fluttered. She accepted my nickname!

“A-alright,” Kalender said. “Why the bath, of all places?”

“Private.”

Kalender shrugged—failing to stop and consider that Minimine could have effortlessly created a separate space for them all to speak in. The child-goddess had her own plans.

They entered, leaving behind the voices of the Clerics still locked in the post-processing of recent events. The bath was still much the same as Minimine and Page had left it.

“Clothes,” Minimine said.

The other three raised an eyebrow.

“Wait—” “Goddess, respectfully—” “Nooooo!”

They took their time to explain that mixed baths weren’t normal—unless one were living a luxurious married life. This genuinely confused Minimine.

“But, Arelu said it’s normal…” She makes it sound so soothing, too.

“Who’s Arelu?” Kalender asked.

“Priestess. Ah, let me ask her where … … she said in Rem.”

“Ohh. I don’t think any of us here know about that place much…” Page said. “I’d love to visit someday, though.”

“Priestess Tak would know,” Jyn added. “It sounds as if mixed baths are common in Rem, however.”

Minimine pouted. “I wanted to try it…” Now she’s just tugging on Page’s and Kalender’s heartstrings. Kalender had to look away, or else Minimine’s pouty face might drag him down to surrender. Page, however … [+1 Excitement]

“Let’s do it!” Page said, pumping her fist in the air.

Jyn and Kalender looked at her like she’d lost her mind. "“You can’t be serious?”"

“Come on!” she begged. “It’s a thing from a foreign nation! And Mimi wants it!”

“Won’t you be … embarrassed?” Jyn asked.

“Pfsh, me? What, because Kal’s here? It’s Kal! It’ll be fine!”

At once, it was nice to be so highly evaluated, and she was definitely just saying that because it’s him she was talking about, but at the same time, his modern sensibilities were shouting “This doesn’t happen!”

He looked to Jyn, who still had a perplexed expression, with a twinge of—huh?

“Wait, are you actually curious about it?” Kalender asked.

“W-whatever do you mean?”

Page and Kalender stared at her. Minimine looking between her and the other two didn’t help.

“Slightly,” she let slip.

“Yay!—” “Not so fast, girl.” Kalender barred Page’s hurray with a backhand stop. “Can you tell me what the issue is?”

“I-I don’t know,” Jyn replied. Kalender’s face was nothing but concerned for her, and yet, why was she threatened by the thought that if he saw her skin, that he would suddenly transform into someone else? Could she actually tell him that?

And, well … she had a—uh—scientific curiosity about the body of a man. Although she admired Kalender, she had no such want to pollute how she truly looked at him—which was precisely why getting into a bath with him sounded like the perfect training grounds for simply getting used to being around men.

Six years of military service made her woefully unaccustomed to the opposite sex, she knew.

Just, really, how on Gaia could she bear to say “I want to look at your body” with a convincing amount of purity of intent? Impossible. She might as well scale Castle Violentum’s curtain wall and marry a prince.

Her turmoil wasn’t lost on Kalender. “If it bothers you that much, then we don’t have to, okay?” He looked back to Minimine who, despite some disappointment, nodded with understanding.

[+2 Respect] Huh, been a while. I should go out with Jyn more…

Page was the pouty one this time. “Hmph. You just wanted to see his body, right?”

Jyn took an audible step back, her body language betraying evidence to all that the truth’s been hit square in the bullseye. Everyone looked at her, and Kalender, most of all, had the most surprised look she’s ever seen. “I—um—i-it is not, uh—”

Kalender shook his head. He put a hand on her shoulder, instantly cutting off her stammering. “Even if you have to speak in paragraphs, I’ll listen to everything, okay?”

She believed him, and yet, why couldn’t she speak? The pause dragged on, quickly turning into silence.

“We’ll talk about it another time, then?” Kalender asked. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not weirded out.” I’m still pretty surprised, though.

“T-thank you,” Jyn said.

Seeing that Minimine’s initial attempt failed, she snapped her fingers, and the bath was replaced by a garden, with butterflies among the flowers, and a table surrounded with four seats. Of course, there was tea.

“You’re a fan of tea, huh?” Kalender asked as he took his seat. The others took their seats as well.

“Calm. Smells nice.”

Kalender had noticed that Minimine was seated directly opposite to him, while Jyn’s and Page’s seats were to the sides, as if relegated to being observers. He could’ve sworn he’d sat beside Minimine just a moment ago…

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked.

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“Kalender,” she said, her mouth unmoving. Using her physical mouth was always a … taxing experience each time. Truly, telepathy is convenient.

There were even mental echoes! [+1 Excitement]

“I now bestow upon you your mission as my Champion.”

Oh! She had been cut off before she could tell Kalender back then. I almost forgot about that. He straightened his back, his whole body now squarely facing Minimine. She continued.

“Deny the ###### God of his power.”

“… Wait, is that it?”

Minimine tilted her head.

“Isn’t there, like, an explanation? I mean, how do I do that?” Kalender asked. “The scale is a little bit big, no offense.”

“None taken?” Minimine was genuinely confused. Was he not already undertaking this task until now? She shook her head. There was a wider strategy—should she mention that as well? Might as well. It would be best to speak about it from the ground up.

“The ###### God draws life from lust,” she explained. “Each new mortal slaved to his Blessing prolongs his time in this world. Therefore, deprive him of these, and he will soon suffocate.”

“Can’t the other goddesses do something about it?” Kalender asked. “No offense to them, but like, aren’t all of you powerful? Can’t you gang up on him?”

“He is too powerful. We are forced to be in the defensive.”

How the heck is a harem god that powerful? “And he hasn’t stepped foot down here because…”

“The System resists.”

Kalender was surprised at that last bit. It sounded like it knew there was a problem—like an anti-virus of sorts? “Can you tell me more about that?”

“No. Only an overseer knows more.”

“‘Overseer’?”

“Another time. None are available, besides, and we are besides the point.”

Right. “Sorry.”

Minimine smiled. “Kalender, do you know why I chose you as my Champion?”

“Why?”

“Because nobody else would be able to execute this war-winning strategy.”

“Which is?”

“Kalender.” Minimine proudly stood up—on the chair, but yes, she stood up. She spread her arms as if being a goddess welcoming a child into her arms, and there actually was a gentle white halo behind her. “You shall bring all women on Gaia to your side.”

Kalender’s mind … blanked out. So did Jyn’s and Page’s. Did she just say he should just charm them all? Minimine was a goddess, true. Goddesses were wise, yes, but … really?

“I know what you might be thinking,” Minimine said. “‘What a rash strategy’ or ‘Truly, will that succeed?’” She smirked. "It absolutely will. At the least, let us compare this against the strategies of my peers.

“Oracier, the Goddess of Death, desired to divide the world with gridlines of concentrated death magic to contain the movements of any blessed by the ###### God.”

Good lord Jesus, that’s not good.

“Apoi, the Goddess of War, in concert with Anina, the Goddess of Shadow, desired to replicate Lyrica’s success in isolating affected individuals—” Oh, that sounds alright— “and forcibly subjugating polities which refuse to do so.”

J-e-s-u-s.

“We have voted such drastic measures out. Among moderate measures, there are also those petitioning Civilas to simply rat out one’s cursed status in their Occupation, which she refuses unless the person’s actual occupational alignment wills it.”

“Y-y’all have it rough, huh?” Kalender couldn’t help but say.

“It is, indeed, difficult. It does not help that votes only help to manage the ones who actually listen to others. Most are wise to listen, but others … may be stubborn, or as with the Goddess of Fertility, wise enough to act swiftly, yet in a limited way. She had rendered all those touched by the ‘curse’ infertile. In that way, the problem will not be a runaway one—”

Minimine stopped and faced Kalender. He was in shock.

“I-I can’t have kids?”

Oh no. “I-I will ask Terilie to make an exception!” she said with her mouth. She had the most desperate expression anyone had ever seen so far. “Worry not!”

“O-okay.” Kalender sighed. “It’s not like I’m planning on it soon… Still, wow, that was a shock.”

“I’m sorry I’m sorry—”

She stopped saying anything as soon as she felt something on her head. She looked up, and Kalender was there. Pat pat. “It’s okay. Let’s sit down?”

They settled down again—though, Jyn and Page were surprised at Kalender’s desire for children. It was something to keep in mind for later.

“As I ought to mention,” Minimine continued, speaking with telepathy this time, evidently quieter, “few of these measures could thwart the ###### God in a substantial manner. Meanwhile, if you were to capture all of his potential sources of power before him, or dare you might, steal back those who have already been long lost, it would deal him a severe blow.”

Kalender scratched his head. “But … all women? Just … how?” He’d probably die before he could tour the whole world. Well, if she was telling him to go on a sightseeing tour for the rest of his life and befriend all the locals, that wouldn’t be too bad. Probably.

… She’d just resurrect him or something if that happened, wouldn’t she? It’s not like he had a choice, but he at least wanted a moment to read the fine print and let it all sink in before holding his breath and diving into it.

“Unfortunately, I do not know all. I am only half of the strategy,” Minimine said. “My only role was to find a candidate and set them upon Gaia.” She smiled. “May I say, I am proud of whom I’ve found.”

“Aw shucks.” Kalender chuckled.

“The other role,” Minimine continued, “who will arm you with the appropriate weapons to fulfill this task, was also the one originally to bestow upon you the Blessing necessary to do so—”

Hm? More than one god can give the same Blessing, is it?

“But now that you already have it, you need only be armed with knowledge and power all the same. The strategy calls for you to head to Harmony.”

Oh? “Huh, what a coincidence. We’re actually really going there. It was the Inquisition’s suggestion, I think? Yeah.”

“Oh? The humans of the Inquisition have the right idea. My Blessing will allow you to level rapidly with the monsters spawned by the elves there. Of course, the holder of the second role will also be waiting there to arm you with further knowledge. You are to meet with one whose Occupation is the Last Priest of the Harem God.”

…

Wait.

Wait.

Kalender shot up from his seat. “The Harem God?! Then who’s the censored one!”