Chapter 185: 185 Preface

Those who cannot accept the world hate the world. Those who are unacceptable to the world also hate the world.

The world is made by man. The colors of the world are dyed by people. Whoever does not stain the dyed colour shall be followed. Hate therefore. We must meet. Otherwise I won't be able to live. But that's another hard life. I hate you for it.

Shizuno Rei hates the world. I hate people who live peacefully in everyday society. I hate peace itself.

But at the same time, I am afraid. I feel a draw. I feel guilty. I realize, but refuse, that I, with my bloody past, am incompatible with my peaceful routine and a terrible destroyer for them.

A human opponent out of his peaceful routine can forgive his mind. He who smells blood sees himself as one of his kind. I can also feel kind to the people who are being followed from the world.

Tired can't help but neglect his past. The past, which continues to hate everything and to sin, is heavy on tired souls.

If you give up your immortal life and die - if you travel to the underworld and return to the boundaries of rebirth, you will not even take the option of dying, whether you will be free from the consciousness of sin or not. I keep going with Karma on my back.

Because tiredness hasn't grasped it yet, living hundreds of years. I haven't got a convincing answer. Living all this time, I can't get to the truth I seek.

Seeing the world itself as a threat and an enemy to tiredness, tiredness has continued to scatter disaster throughout the world. Tired regrets it. Fulfilling the reunion of thinkers and sorrows after reincarnation does not escape the bitterness of the sins they themselves have borne.

While in the world, he felt an invisible wall between himself and the world, as if he did not exist in the world, and turned his back on the world of light.

Nevertheless, tiredness is not supposed to stay the same. In a more decent way, I hope to return to a part of the world. That's my biggest hope of tiredness right now. Above all, I want to be free from the sins I bear.

The easiest way to do this is to destroy all the hundreds of years that you've been accumulating after your life. Talk about just having to die and be reborn. But I am tired of it, and I remain obsessed with my memory and strength, with myself.

There are those who once said unto themselves that eternal life and other ugliness. That's right in a way. But...

(At least I want to get an answer, convince myself, then... satisfy myself and then pass away. Enough is enough, since you honestly seem to be)

I want to get answers before I die. That's the tiresome and sincere wish of today. But I am too confused with the answers I desire, and I have no idea how much more time and pain it will take to get there.

"Tired, aren't you leaving tonight?

Junko speaks out in the living room of the Snow Oka Institute, tired of sitting on the couch and not trying to move from front of the TV.

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Look up at the clock. It's usually time to go to Tasmania Devil and play the piano. Rehabilitation for social reintegration, tired of becoming afraid of the world, but at least trying to be on the table in the world of the night alone.

Fears in tiredness arise, one from guilt and the other from alienation.

Residents of the back streets are those who are out of the everyday society of the street, and sinners of some kind, so they have a sense of compatriots. I can feel at ease.

"I'll get out. It's snowing... I'm here..."

The fact that it's snowing is a true story. Tired himself didn't confirm it.

Tired liked snow. The sight of deep snow just covering the city and the wild mountains in white can go on for hundreds of years. The snow is exceptional, especially at night. Above all, there are many good memories of snow.

He takes off his clothes and changes to clothes, leaving the Yukooka Institute. Without going to Tasmania Devil immediately as it is, it is often time to leave Kandoville and take a walk around the city at night for a while.

Even when returning home from Tasmania Devil, you will not return to a straight line. I want to indulge in the outside world only at a time of relief for my tiredness.

The city was stained with snow scenery. Traces of snowfall can be seen next to the driveway. Dirty mountains of snow mixed with mud and exhaust gas. Hard to say it has a flair, but I was used to seeing this sight as well.

(I'd also like to see the snow in the mountains. I haven't seen it in decades...)

It reminds me of a time when I once lived in the mountains. In times when there were loved ones beside you.

I can't go back to the past, but the past I burned in my memory will never fade. After centuries of walking through time, tiredness has continued to see a shift in the history of people's worlds. I have memories in each era.

(Junko said he wanted to live until mankind popped up in space and moved to another planet or fought aliens, but I can't afford to hope for the future)

Junko's positive attitude has not changed for a long time. My negative attitude, too.

(I have no choice but to live now. Even in this kind of rehab)

Tired of spilling a laugh of self-derision. While I was walking I noticed the snow had stopped and closed my umbrella.

That's the modern story.

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