Chapter 1859: 1859 21

After the bombing in Shinjuku, Harumi Miyamoto was to meet with a psychotherapist for a psychiatric evaluation.

"From now on, psychiatric tests will be performed by means of the latest hypnotherapy and medication to determine your mental state, motivation for the crime, ability to be responsible, etc."

"Yes."

"This appraisal assumes that, independently of your intentions, what you normally never say and reveal, as well as what you will say. Please understand that. Of course, conversations here are subject to privacy protection and will never be known outside the courtroom with an appraiser."

"Can't you understand and say no?

"Of course that's possible. It's only up to you to decide. But if we don't use this appraisal method, we'll weaken the proof of your mental state."

"Okay. So please."

Here the doctor dosed the Spring Man by injection, letting him rock a five-circle ball in front of the Spring Man for a while, sounding odd throughout the room. The Spring Man continues to follow the Five Yen Ball with his eyes, as directed.

Soon the doctor quit waving the five-circle ball and put a pale purple light on the Spring Man's eyes up close, flashing slowly and regularly at regular intervals.

Harumi feels stranger and stranger.

"Then talk to me. Why did you commit indiscriminate murder in a building in Shinjuku? What is the motive for that?

"It's for my best friend."

"How does your best friend relate to you?

"He... Akihiro Akihiro is my childhood friend. I was more open to Akihiro than my family. [M] Akihiro was with me all the way to college. He was my partner. I was one person at a time. It was a fateful community. Until the middle of my life...... Not until just five years ago..."

Here Spring Man is silenced.

"Please continue"

"I had a dream of being a racer. I had a dream. [M] Akihiro also had dreams. I dream of becoming a game designer. But Autumn Hiro got a job at the gaming company, and it seemed like he was struggling very hard there."

"Didn't you have a hard time?

"I had my own difficulty, but I think it still rose to the top smoothly. I was lucky. I was blessed with luck in the name of talent. But... Autumn Hiroshi's struggle means he really doesn't hit the wall and move on, or he got his foot caught by something..."

Haruman showed his bitter face in front of the doctor, like he had never shown on TV or in a magazine or online, silenced again, and then opened his mouth more than a dozen seconds later.

"At one point, it was when I went out for a drink with Akihiro. He was exhausted. And then you look at me. [M] Show me your teeth and expose your anger... you're going to hit me. Akihiro never showed me that attitude before. [M] And... that wasn't all it took."

So far as I had spoken, Spring Man, with his eyes moistened, covered his eyes with his right hand.

"Akihiro, who was sick, cursed at me. hysterically...... while wearing half a veso. At first I was shocked, but gradually I calmed down. It didn't work out the way I wanted it to, and I thought it was so hard, and I guess there must be some attraction and jealousy towards me running up successfully... I feel sorry for Akihiro... But I said so." It's about living in a world of strength, the fate of those who live in challenge, so there's nothing you can do about all this. "'It's not like anyone can do anything, it's a challenge because not everyone can accomplish it'. You know that even in Akihiro. That's what he said again from my mouth, and he seems to have regained his composure."

"The words you say, best friend and at the same time successful, may have weighed on you. Because even in the same language, it sounds different to the mind because of the difference between those who speak."

"Yes. And Akihiro spoke. I work in a window seat in an office in a skyscraper in Shinjuku, but when I look out the window, all I see is a group of ants going out. A man's society is nothing like an ant. I need to be just one of the ants myself. I thought I was the star, but he said I wasn't. And he also said he was an ant that would be killed by a group of ants."

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"There seem to be many abstract representations, but didn't you tell us the detailed reasons for his distress?

"Yes. He didn't tell me anything about the direct cause. But in general, I could imagine."

Harumi grips his fist hard and bites his lips.

"It's not going well in the workplace and I guess it's isolated... The next day, he slammed himself with a knife, slashing his own throat, slashing him at work. It's obvious from this way of dying. Whether you commit suicide or choose to die like this, it must be the end of a lot of suffering, and obviously it's coming from a congestion in the workplace, I believe."

"You carried out the bombing..."

"Yes, it was the building where Autumn Hiroshi worked and planted a bomb in his workplace. I'm glad I killed them all."

"Was that meant to be revenge?

"Yes, that's why I did what I believed was right."

"Did you think it was worth doing, even if you ruined your life or abandoned all the glory you grabbed?

"I didn't even have to put it on the balance. I had something much more valuable than my life, more than my glory. I wanted to clear up Akihiro's carelessness."

Shizuku shines from Harumi's eyes.

"Did you think so much about your friend..."

"I didn't tell him until the end, but I liked Akihiro. I saw it not just as a friend, but as a paedophile..."

Here again Spring Man is silent and stopped talking as he is, so the doctor asks the last question.

"Since the bombing of the Shinjuku skyscraper, it appears that you were planning another indiscriminate murder elsewhere after making a statement about the crime, and that has something to do with your friend's revenge?

"That's... you can say there is, or there isn't. The second time...... I end up with an attempt, but mine is out stronger. No, certainly for the second time, it also included the nuance of Akihiro's revenge. Akihiro was murdered by this society because of the way I took it. But more than that... I've noticed the pleasure of murder. Much funnier than a race or something. It was the best stimulus. The great cause in the name of revenge is a strong sense of fulfillment in the first time, isn't it? So since the second time, it's me."

Eventually the hypnosis unravels, Harumi learns that he has revealed everything and hits the doctor with questions.

"Doctor. Uh... what is your teacher's current decision? Am I normal? Is it an anomaly? On this occasion now, I want to know what the teacher thinks. I told you what I didn't tell anyone, so that's about all I want to hear. I want to know."

"Okay. I find Miyamoto in an unusual condition. We conclude that we were in a state of confusion and that we were unable to make normal thoughts or decisions, nor were we able to be responsible."

"I'm not... I'd like to hear your personal thoughts. Can you make sense of my thoughts? Can't you?

"I can't."

"Can't you empathize with my motives for murder?

"Yes, I can't do that either"

To Spring Man's inquiry, the doctor quietly, but clearly, denied it.

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