Chapter 4: CH 04 – Breakfast Time (Part 3)

Knock. Knock.

I opened my eyes and stared at the painted mural on my ceiling.

I guess this is the bedroom of my fourth life.

Damn it. Why wasn't it the demonic poison shard? Did the System change the weapon, like it changes the decor each time?

I reached under my pillow and inspected my own dagger. It had a slightly different design, but it didn't look or feel too different. It wasn't a knife or a sword. It was still a throwing dagger. 

So why did Kaiden's weapon change?

"Young master Luca? It's time to get up." Denise's voice sounded.

My eyebrows furrowed.

I had told Denise in my third life to find an antidote. What if Kaiden overheard that she was looking for it and changed tactics? 

"I'm up. You can enter," I said.

Denise walked in, carrying a tray of tea and a washbasin. The usual.

The tea this time was dark red. I grimaced. Against the crisp white teacup, the tea reminded me of Micah's white teeth covered in blood.

Why did he have to die yet again? And was every morning going to start with tea triggering a lousy memory?

"...your father and mother would really like you to come down for breakfast," Denise spoke to me.

I missed half of what she said, but I was sure it was the exact same words as from my second life.

I pulled myself out of bed and splashed my face with water.

"I'll come down right away," I said.

"Oh! They will be thrilled! You never come down." Denise smiled.

"Please hurry, Denise. And dress me in something simple for today."

"Ah. Of course." She nodded.

While Denise was busy putting on layers of clothing over me, I brainstormed what went wrong.

Even in my original life, Micah was killed by a demonic poison shard. The only explanation was that Kaiden had overheard Denise searching for the antidote, and thus he changed tactics.

Denise moved me over to the vanity table. She began styling my hair and putting the finishing touches on my outfit.

I inspected myself in the mirror. I had told her to dress me in something simple to save time, but it was still an extravagant look with gold and pearl detailing throughout my hair. Then again, I did have an interest in fashion at this age. By my 19-year-old standards, this was probably considered very simple.

My reflection frowned.

How do I save Micah? Getting an antidote only changed the type of death.

A cough sounded outside my door. It was probably that curly-haired guard.

With so many guards everywhere, how did no one manage to protect Micah in time? Should I just mention this to one of the guards? That's their job, right?

"Young master, is anything the matter? You usually always sleep in and never come down for breakfast. And I've never seen you look so serious."

Denise met my eyes in the mirror.

"Denise, Micah's life is in danger," I said.

Her eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Kaiden will try to assassinate Micah over breakfast," I told her.

I studied her reaction. 

Her eyes remained widened at first. Then her brows furrowed, and her head tilted. 

"Kaiden has served Micah for fifteen years as his attendant. He is an exemplary servant. How could you even suggest such a thing? That's a bad joke, even for you," she said.

Right? It doesn't make sense for such a great and loyal servant to suddenly attack Micah. Obviously this was her reaction.

My reputation at this point in my life probably didn't help. My parents loved me dearly, but I wasn't a good son. Even the lessons schedule that Denise began listing off, I originally constantly played hooky. I didn't take anything seriously and lazed away every day. It was pretty sweet, truth be told.

Then Micah died. And I was unexpectedly thrust into the role as the new heir of the Frey Merchant Guild. No wonder the household fell to ruin with the death of my parents.

But that doesn't mean I won't save Micah somehow this time around. I can't do nothing.

"What is your name again?" I asked the curly-haired young guard on the way down the stairs to breakfast. Denise was busy tidying my room while the guard followed me downstairs.

It had been seven years for me, and I had only a faint memory of him. Besides, it wasn't like I knew everyone that worked at the mansion well.

"Henry." The guard replied with a bright voice. It matched his appearance. He really did remind me of my old dog.

Getting dressed took less time than the previous times, so I was pacing well without running to the dining room.

"Henry, I have an odd request for you."

"What is it?"

"Please stand against the wall behind me in the dining room. And please hold this."

I handed him the dagger from under my pillow.

"Why would I–" He looked puzzled.

"I want you to do nothing else but monitor Kaiden's movement. When you see him move his left hand into his pocket, I want you to throw this dagger at him. Kill him," I ordered.

He looked at the dagger but didn't take it. 

"I know it's an unusual request. But I am very serious. Micah's life is in danger. I will take full responsibility." I put on my most reassuring smile.

A look of comprehension crossed his face.

"I understand," he said.

He grasped the dagger and put it in his pocket.

"Good." I smiled.

I finally felt some relief.

It was best to leave the work to the professionals. That's what they were being paid to do, after all. So they might as well do their job properly.

We entered the dining room.

"Luca! This is a pleasant surprise!" Mother's voice rang.

"Good morning." I smiled at the red-haired twins with their cheeks stuffed with food and sat down.

Henry moved to stand near the wall behind me.

Father raised an eyebrow at this but didn't say anything; Henry and the other guards typically stood outside the dining room.

"You always sleep in late and miss breakfast with us," Father noted. "Although today you're not the last one."

"Ah, there he is. Micah!" Mother's voice exclaimed just as it had in my second life.

I twisted my head towards the now familiar footsteps. My brother entered, with Kaiden walking behind him. It was like the sun had entered, followed by its shadow.

I felt adrenaline rushing through my body. It was the moment of truth.

"Luca, I can't believe you made it down for once! And before me too." Micah smiled brilliantly and sat beside me. 

I smiled back, trying to act naturally.

"I think I'll come down for breakfast from now on," I told him.

"I'm glad!" Micah said.

I looked over towards Kaiden behind Micah. His left hand moved.

My head swung towards Henry expectantly. And I saw his mouth drop open, and his eyes widen.

Mother's shriek filled the room. Then the twins cried out.

Henry's sword sliced Kaiden's head off before the man could get away. It fell and rolled across the floor with a bloodied thud.

But that didn't change that Micah was stabbed. Henry didn't throw the dagger that I gave him.

Why?

Micah was slumped in his chair. The demonic poison shard evaporated into his body in a puff of black smoke.

I was reliving this nightmare once again, just in a different flavor. My hands and whole body shook.

Why? Why is this happening all over again?

"Hey…at least you came down for breakfast for once, eh?"

Micah joked, looking at me. It was the same stupid joke.

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"It's usually more…peaceful."

Black blood oozed out of his eyes and neck.

Damn it. Why?!

"Why didn't you save him!" I roared.

I bolted at Henry, grabbing him by his collar.

"I—I'm sorry. I didn't think—" Henry's face was white. 

"I told you what was going to happen! I told you!"

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…I—I didn't believe that…that…" Henry muttered uselessly.

What a joke. He didn't believe me. Not even a little bit. I gave him an order, and he didn't save Micah.

"Give my dagger back!" I said.

He pulled it out, and I snatched it out of his hand.

Here we go again.

I moved it towards my neck, but I didn't manage to reset. Someone grabbed me from behind.

"Luca! What are you trying to do?!" Father's voice sounded behind me.

His strong right hand grasped the dagger out of my hold. The weapon clattered across the floor.

The twins were crying behind me.

"I've lost Micah today. I'm not losing you too." His voice broke.

I looked over towards the chair in which Micah was slumped in. Mother was grasping his lifeless body in her arms. Her face was contorted in a desperate wail. 

***

I grit my teeth. My arms were folded. 

A cough sounded from the corner of my room. I looked at the guard reflected in my vanity mirror. She usually stayed by my mother's side but was placed in my room for protection. Guards were typically placed outside the bedrooms, but my privacy was a secondary concern right now. The protection, in this case, included not just harm from the outside but also from myself.

Two hours had passed since Micah's death. I wasn't allowed out of my room and was watched intently should I try to kill myself again. 

Tsk.

I wasn't trying to commit suicide. Well, I was, but I wasn't going to die. Well... I was... But I wasn't going to really die. 

There was no use trying to explain my actions to anyone. I'd just sound crazy.

I clasped my hands together and rested my mouth over them.

"System?"

I whispered.

[ Yes, Player Luca? ]

"Can you force a reset for me to restart my life?"

I realized I should have thought to ask this initially before attempting to slash my neck. It wasn't a pleasant experience the first time. And I didn't know if I could manage to go through with it again now that I had calmed down a bit.

[ Normally, yes, but you lack many of the standard privileges. You only have access to 40% of what regular active Players do. ]

"So to reset…"

[ You have to die. ]

I groaned and rubbed my eyes in my palms. I had hoped for a better answer. My hands began shaking and my teeth chattered.

Crazy. This is absolutely crazy. I have to kill myself to go back in time and save Micah.

My eyes swept my room, reflected in the mirror, searching for something sharp and pointy. I needed something instantaneous so the guard couldn't save me. And something that wouldn't hurt too much. My head had cooled enough that the thought of pain didn't sound appealing.

My eyes stopped at my window.

It was the third floor. Was that high enough? Probably not.

"Young master Luca, if you're planning on jumping out of the window, I recommend you do not," the guard spoke.

Is she a mind reader? I looked at the guard reflected in the mirror. 

"I wasn't."

"That's certainly a relief to hear," she said. "If you jump out, you probably won't die, but you might end up paralyzed for the rest of your life. I'm sure neither you nor your parents would want that."

I shuddered at that thought.

Crazy. If I don't kill myself properly, I might end up stuck as a vegetable for years before I'd finally be able to reset the clock.

I tapped my fingers on the vanity table and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My bloodshot golden eyes stared back at me.

I could break it and try to slice my neck.

My eyes glanced at the guard reflected behind me.

No. She'd make it in time and save me before then. And then my parents might lock me up with even more watchful eyes. 

"I know you and Micah were close, but you have your whole life ahead of you. You can't allow your grief to pull you down." The guard spoke gently to me. Like I was a fragile child.

"If you just end it here, you'll never know what could have been." She continued speaking. "You'll never know what potential you could have achieved. Remember, your life matters. You only get one chance."

My fingers stopped tapping against the vanity table.

"You're right," I said.

Why didn't I realize it sooner? I didn't need to die right away to go back in time. That would be a waste.

"You… agree?" She asked.

The guard appeared to be gauging my reaction. She didn't seem to fully trust my words.

"Yes. You're right." I nodded. "If I end it here right now, I'll never understand why Micah was murdered. Why or how. If it happens again, I won't be able to stop it. I won't learn anything."

I still had no idea how I'd save him once I regressed in time. Going back now would be reckless.

"Yes…I suppose that's a good way to look at it. You can learn from this unfortunate incident," she nodded.

I stood up and walked over to the guard.

"What was your name again?" I asked.

Newfound energy overcame me.

"It's Nirre."

Nirre was in her late thirties and had a competent and fit appearance. Freckles covered her tan face, and her blue eyes looked kind. Yet sharp.

I could see why Mother had trusted Nirre with her life.

Then again…

I winced, remembering the future. Mother had still died then, though. I shook the thoughts away.

One life saved at a time.

"Nirre, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I will find out how Micah's death could have been prevented."

"Well… I'm glad you seem to have found a purpose." So she spoke, but Nirre had a pitying look in her eyes. 

"I need to make the most of this life. Let's go out. I want to go walk around the estate," I said.

It's been so long that I had forgotten a lot about my old home. And back then, I didn't pay attention to the correct details. Details mattered now.

"That's the spirit. You need to treasure and make the most of your life." Nirre nodded enthusiastically. "And a walk is good for the mind. Staying cooped up in your room is no good. I told your parents as much."

We stepped out into the hallway and were greeted by double the usual number of guards.

I laughed.

What's the use of so many guards if they couldn't even protect Micah?

But it was going to be different next time. I was going to find a way to save Micah. And then the rest of my household. And then the kingdom.

"I just need to take one step at a time." I bit my lips. I wasn't even sure where to start my investigation.

"That's right, young master Luca. There's no rush." Nirre patted my shoulder.

I frowned. She really was treating me like a fragile little child.

"Just take it one step at a time. Grieving is a process," she added.

I sensed she misunderstood me, but I ignored it. It didn't matter. I was going to save Micah.

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