Pretty State Preceptor Saves the Planet

Chapter 4: 4


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Ch4 - A multiple-choice question

Xie Huaian was trying to remember what the forecast said when a few maids arrived with lacquer trays to ask him to choose his hair ornaments and robes. The former Xie shijun faced every trip to the imperial gardens like a difficult battle, styling himself exquisitely down to the last hair while appearing like he didn’t use any effort at all. With the holy son coming to their gates, the maids were all playing it safe.

Xie Huaian glanced at Hong Yao and found that he changed his face in front of the crowd. That bloody, murderous pervert had changed into a pervert deep in love. He sat lopsided in a new chair brought by a subordinate, one hand cupping his cheek while gazing at Xie Huaian with eyes as warm as a spring breeze. When the same eyes swept across the people around him they turned gloomy, as if anyone who combed and broke a hair on the shijun’s head would be chopped up. 

“….” said Xie Huaian.

So scary. Better to avoid him.

 

 

Xie Huaian picked out a solid-colored ribbon from the beaded hairpins and precious ornaments and tied his hair up in a sharp ponytail before any of the maids could help. “Enough, you can all withdraw.”

This was nothing like “Xie shijun” and the maids all paled as they fell to their knees. Hong Yao and Xie Huaian exchanged looks, each of them seeing “Act, just continue to act,” in each other’s eyes. 

“His Majesty likes this style,” Xie Huaian ducked his head somewhat shyly, “so I don’t need such rouge and incense in the future, for a more natural look.”

 

“We servants will remember,” the maids relaxed, their voices sounding somewhat teary. 

Those who served improperly would be replaced, and there was no good end for abandoned servants in the palace—the Heavenly Master often held sacrifices, which always needed living corpses.

 

“174…which chosen ones will be picked today?” the Holy Son Miao Thirteen sipped a mouthful of tea before rising elegantly to move to the rear courtyard of Orchid Pool Palace with his attendants. 

He swayed as he walked, his waist a slender willow branch and his face sickly pale. The eunuchs and maids surrounded him on all sides and held an umbrella over his head even though the sunlight was no longer scorching. Unfortunately the emperor was present, or else he could bring out the holy drums and play celestial music to make a much bigger splash. Miao Thirteen had regrets, but bolstered his spirits soon enough. This time he was here for no other reason than a phrase mentioned by the Heavenly Master a few days ago in the Holy Nectar Temple: “The shijun of Orchid Pool Palace requested a xiqin. When there’s time, I’d like to hear it too.”

This whore…he has the same aura as me and even copied my way of dressing. Now he wants to gain benefits from Holy Nectar Temple. He wanted the other to remember that the Great Jing Emperor’s male consort and the Heavenly Saint Church’s holy son were as different as mud and clouds. He shouldn’t think of aiming for something he couldn’t reach.

 

In the water pavilion, Xie shijun and the emperor stood and sat, respectively. Xie shijun was dressed in light, thin, gauzy clothes, his hair casually tied up. Even the temperament of his face had changed greatly, looking airy like an immortal, graceful and elegant. The emperor was different, his figure hidden in the shadows as a pair of turquoise eyes glowed coldly. Miao Thirteen had rarely seen the monarch, but his heart jumped at the gloomy vision of Hong Yao.  

According to custom, the holy sons represented the Heavenly Master. Neither were required to pay respects to the emperor, but the latter had to yield to show them respect. Yet as Hong Yao grew older, the people of Holy Nectar Temple met with him more often and this rule was reduced to mere scrap paper. 

Although the emperor of Eternal Peace Palace didn’t manage court affairs, he was no soft persimmon to be kneaded as one wished. As the number one believer of the Heavenly Saint Church, he had great freedom in the palace and could transfer money to repair the buildings, search for treasures to please his beauty, and even build up his own private guard. Unless it was necessary, no one wanted to challenge him. 

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“Xie shijun, why didn’t you come to greet me? The sun is too hot for this holy son to stay long,” Miao Thirteen forced himself to ignore Hong Yao’s presence and sat down on the back of a kneeling eunuch. Raising his chin, he instructed another small eunuch, “Go deliver the message. If His Majesty questions you, use your wits to answer.”

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He hated getting mixed up in these troublesome affairs. One emperor was enough, but a holy son seeking trouble just doubled the complications. 

Across the pool, Holy Son Miao Thirteen set up his act. Wearing a compassionate smile, he sat on the back of his eunuch while various maids served him, fanning the air and wiping away the thin sweat at his temples. 

“Since His Majesty is present, let’s keep the rituals simple today,” he told the young eunuch politely after hearing Xie Huaian’s words. “Tell him that the festival is starting, so all of Orchid Pool Palace should kneel in this courtyard facing southwest until three quarters past Yin hour. The emperor can personally come to the Heavenly Gate to observe the sacrifice as the Heavenly Master has already reserved His Majesty a good seat.” 

The young eunuch’s feet remain rooted in place after hearing the words. Beads of sweat appeared on his face.

“What, afraid to say this in front of His Majesty?” Miao Thirteen was gentle, but contempt and impatience underlaid his tone. “The rules of sacrifice are decreed by the Temple. Even the emperor must yield three points of face.”

 

“Yes.” The eunuch lowered his head and ran back to the water pavilion before respectfully reporting everything.

Kneel? Xie Huaian caught the key point and looked at Hong Yao seemingly in shock. By now the emperor had dropped his act of doting on his beloved consort. He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed as his turquoise eyes stared back at Xie Huaian. A smile curved upon his lips, but he didn’t say a word.  

Xie Huaian cocked his head before he understood. Hong Yao’s silence was meant to be a multiple-choice question. He had two options: align with the Heavenly Master behind the holy son, or seek aid from the emperor. If he obeyed the holy son’s words now, the young emperor could judge him worthless tonight and make sure he never saw the sun tomorrow. 

Too simple. Either option is trouble, so I’d rather play dead.

The crows on the walls chittered while the servants of Orchid Pool Palace shied away. The maids who fanned the holy son subtly slowed their movements. Under everyone’s watchful eyes, Xie Huaian gripped the edge of the couch while squeezing his thin gauze sleeve, covering his mouth and lips.

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“Cough cough…” Xie Huaian gave a low cough several times before he spoke, head bowed. His beautifully defined shoulders and neck trembled like a white bird overwhelmed by heat and fatigue. Xie Huaian thought he’d act stiffly, but he moved very naturally as if he had performed onstage in a previous life. He wasn’t afraid of the crowd’s scrutiny, but actually felt a sense of excitement. A pity that there weren’t many people to see his performance today, nor was his “repertoire” on any stage. 

“The sacrifice is important, so I will naturally fulfill the Temple’s wishes…but, cough cough, just a few days ago I had a bout of sickness…” Xie Huaian’s words grew weak as he pressed a hand to his forehead. His hands shook as his eyes closed slightly.

Holy Son Miao Thirteen saw this and immediately ordered, “Summon the imperial doctors to stand by.” His smile took on a tinge of concern and care as he thought, Heh, pretending to faint. I brought along three divine doctors who only serve Holy Nectar Temple on a regular day. They can revive him even if he loses consciousness, and then I’ll convict him of deception on the spot.

There was no need for additional punishment after that besides having Xie Huaian kneel a bit longer. The season was hot and humid, so this would be enough to take half of Xie shijun’s life if it didn’t kill him.

Want to climb on the Heavenly Master? You can do it after you die. 

Right after that, the corners of his lips froze. 

Xie shijun fainted as soon as he spoke, falling lightly towards the ground until the emperor took long strides forward to catch him in time. The imperial physicians brought their medical kits to surround them while the soft couch was newly arranged for the emperor to carry Xie shijun over and lay him down.

They first tried with needles on his acupoints, then medicinal oils to stimulate him…the three doctors then commanded the medical novices to use hands and examine the patient physically, but Xie shijun still didn’t wake up even when the doctors had snapped a few hairs in their beards from constant stroking. 

Miao Thirteen couldn’t sit still and gestured to a eunuch to help him to his feet. Then he heard the emperor scolding out loud in the pavilion. 

“Have you all earned your salary for nothing? Scram!”

The emperor was like a beast wild with rage who was desperate to hide away his frail lover in his territory. He kicked away the people blocking the couch, and the man who had never touched anyone’s hand picked up Xie shijun in his arms and departed like the wind without a second look. The whole time, all the eunuchs trembled while the gold-masked soldiers were dead silent. No one stopped him.

Miao Thirteen took a deep breath before adopting a worried look, intending to follow them. But a veiled female official blocked the moon gate with a warning glance.

“Kong Qing…” Miao Thirteen smiled stiffly as he said her name through gritted teeth. He had no guts to provoke this woman, a lunatic who was once crazy enough to murder someone on Holy Nectar Temple grounds.  

In the inner rooms of Orchid Pool Palace, Hong Yao dismissed everyone and placed his consort on the vermillion lacquer carved bed. Xie Huaian’s snow-white wrists hung down helplessly, his eyes squeezed shut and his entire person senseless.

 

“Shijun?” The anger in Hong Yao’s eyes was no longer visible. He sat quietly at the edge of the bed, looking at Xie Huaian’s heaving chest. Pulling off his gloves, his thin, calloused fingertips pressed against the man’s wrist. The sensation of the skin was fine and smooth, its pulse weak and irregular.

Hong Yao’s gaze darkened. It had been so long since he had direct contact with another person that his skin seemed to burn up.  

Xie Huaian had no worries that someone would wake him up. He was currently watching the weather forecast and wouldn’t regain consciousness until it was finished. Every night, the System broadcasted scheduled weather reports. He could also request a replay of the report at any time. Once the broadcast started playing, he would fall into a dream-like space and lose control of his body, appearing to pass out in front of outsiders. 

“Next please listen to the weather forecast of the following cities. Zhaoge will be sunny to cloudy…” After the forecast finished, the System dialogue box popped up: “The broadcast has concluded. Would you like to replay?”

Xie Huaian put a big check over the Yes. “Good Tem Tem, play it again.”

“Dear, there are no limits to replays, but System functions using your essence as the medium of operation. Excessive use will cause adverse reactions, do you still want to replay?” 

“Play it, it’s trivial. I’m doing a countdown; it’s almost time for tonight’s weather report too, so just keep replaying until that comes out.”

The System replayed itself several times before moving on to the newest weather forecast while Xie Huaian focused on its words. 

The Heavenly Master was holding sacrifices tonight because of the solar eclipse. Xie Huaian remembered that the solar eclipse was also known as “Heavenly Dog eating the sun” and was considered a bad omen in ancient times. Perhaps foreknowledge of the event could let him gain something from Hong Yao’s side…

“Shijun, wake up.” 

Hong Yao’s voice suddenly sounded in the space as Xie Huaian stared at the weather forecast. He felt like he was a feather drifting down towards the mud, sinking back into his heavy body. 

Dizziness, palpitations, shortness of breath, and other symptoms of illness competed against a warm current seeping in from his wrist to spread throughout his limbs. The weather forecast was still ringing in his ears as he heard Hong Yao calling by his ear.

Xie Huaian’s will to work instantly dissipated.

Ah, so tired. He had just heard that the 14th Year of Shuntian in Great Jing was due to have a once-in-a-century solar eclipse in mid-summer. The forecast continued with only sound and no images while Xie Huaian was beset with dizziness. He knew for sure that the eclipse would happen within a month, that it would be the longest one in history, but that its exact date was still under calculation by the System. He intended to drift off to sleep after that, but the voice in his head and by his side were still ringing out annoyingly. 

The System said, “Dear, the broadcast has ended. System encountered external interference and cannot maintain the images. I wish you ample rest so you can complete the mission smoothly. May you be happy everyday!”

Hong Yao said, “Your Excellency, if you keep sleeping, Zhen will send you off to see the real Xie shijun.”

Translator’s Note: An interesting thing to take note of is how Hong Yao refers to Xie Huaian as the story progresses. He’s already turned more respectful, going from shijun and “beloved consort” to “Your Excellency.” As to what triggered that…well, you’ll just have to reread for yourself and make a guess. :3 

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