Chapter 39: Volume 2 – Chapter 8

Bryan sat before the burnt corpse of Sally. As he watched flakes of black slowly flutter from her body to the ground, he wondered if he sat here long enough, perhaps he could crumble into the dirt as well. 

A moment ago, Peter had left the caravan and gone towards the forest. Bryan wasn’t sure why. Probably to go fuck his primal, or something.

What a bastard. Lecturing him about working hard. Some stupid tale of not giving up.

Peter hadn’t lost his primals. He wasn’t…

Alone.

No, Bryan wasn’t alone. In fact, he was worse than alone. He would still have to keep walking along with the caravan. With Fira.

Murderer. Was he supposed to accept the fact that his primal was killed by her, and move on?

She could have held back. Tried to knock her out, or something. But instead, she obliterated her. Her whole body was black. There wasn’t a single inch of her tan skin visible anymore. Is that how Fira liked them?

The crunch of dirt, something was walking towards him. Let it be a feral.

“Bryan, we must put the dead to rest. I’ve already prepared the others, we’re going to burn the dead.”

“You’re too late, then. Fira beat you to it. Ahahahaha. AHAHAHAA!” Bryan began to cackle loudly at his own joke.

Lore looked at the boy with a sorrowful expression. He reached toward Sally.

“DON’T TOUCH HER!” Bryan screamed, tears in his eyes.

Lore’s eyes were half closed, his expression tired. Bryan recoiled for a moment, then looked down, ashamed, before nodding his head.

“Here, I’ll help carry her,” Lore said. He grabbed Sally’s shoulders while Bryan picked up her feet. With care, the two slowly stood up and began to hobble toward the others.

Sally’s body rocked side to side as they moved. Bryan recalled her hair bouncing around when she excitedly jumped around after having defeated her first feral. Now she doesn't have any hair.

Bryan heard a crack. Suddenly, Sally’s body split in half, with him now holding her lower body upside down. He looked up and saw Lore barely managed to keep her upper half from falling. She was now looking straight at him.

“You did this.”

“Nooo!” Bryan howled.

“Focus on my voice,” Lore said. “Close your eyes if you have to, just follow the sound.” Bryan closed his eyes as tight as he could. “Everything’s going to be alright. Just keep moving this way.” 

Bryan’s eyelids hurt from how tightly he clenched them. He could feel his hands grow sweaty, slight lubricant against the dry rough ankles that he was holding.

“Here, place her here.”

Bryan opened his eyes to see Lore had assembled all the dead primals, ferals as well as Sina and Sally, within the overturned wagon the ferals had been hiding beneath. 

On one side he piled up the ferals, on the other he set aside dedicated space to Sina, and now Sally. Lore had placed the upper half of Sally inside, and pushed it to leave room for her legs.

Bryan gently placed her burnt remains and did his best to connect the two halves, trying to make her appear whole again. Even though she wasn’t.

He stepped backward and Lore placed his hand on his shoulder with a firm grip. “Fira, if you could.”

She nodded. “Fire wall.” A line of fire erupted from beneath and on top of the makeshift pyre. The wagon was soon lit, the flames rapidly advancing and feasting on the remains of the primals. Bryan’s body trembled in anger, but Lore squeezed harder.

He looked at Lore, and Lore gave a solemn nod.

Lore cleared his throat. “We are gathered here today, to send off these departed, into the hands of the gods which brought them here. I ask that their spirits are set free, to find rest in eternity. That they know happiness, and find a world free of violence to call their home.”

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The tied-up Goblin made a sniffing sound, and everyone briefly glared at her besides Fira. She shrunk back and began to tremble, doing her best to hold back her tears and remain silent. 

“I’d like those present to say a few words, for the dead should never depart to the sound of silence.” Lore paused again. “Sina, I will never forget our time together, no matter how short it may have been. Your smile whenever we traveled together, was the lantern I needed when traversing these dark roads. May you, hkk, may you find…” Lore covered his eyes for a brief moment. “May you find peace, my beloved,” and Lore began to weep.

Rena stepped near him and hugged him tightly, and they hung together for a while. Finally, Rena spoke. “Little knight, though your legs were half mine, your spirit was twice as much. No matter how many races you lost, you were always confident for the next,” she said, mustering all her strength to remain composed. She smiled bitterly. “May we one day meet again, and race toward our resting place together.”

Bryan watched as the flames flickered atop Sally’s body. What did any of it matter? How would fire free something burnt? What would words do for someone who could not hear? Bryan felt Lore’s hand rest upon his shoulder.

He was expecting him to say something, but what could he say? As he watched the fire, he became angrier and angrier by the moment. His body began to tremble, his face grew red hot.

“You did this!” Bryan screamed. “Murderer!” he shouted at the fire. Fira took a step back. Bryan collapsed onto his knees and punched the ground. “Damn it!” He howled as he repeatedly pounded the earth, tears spraying from his eyes. “Damn it all!”

“Tell her, Bryan.”

“There’s nothing left to say! I was a horrible tamer and now she’s dead!”

“Yes, there is. Tell her how you’ll miss her.”

“How I’ll… miss her?” Bryan asked aloud, puzzled.

“Yes.”

“I, I…,” Bryan froze, the words stuck in his throat. “I’ll miss… how you always protected me. I’ll miss… I’ll miss… Damnit!” Bryan hit his own leg. “That’s not all! The way you used to take a big bite out of every kind of food you ate, was adorable! Sometimes you would use a nagging tone with me, whenever I did something wrong! It didn’t bother me at all! I kinda liked it! But now, I’ll never hear it again. So that just means I’ll have to never forget it! I hope wherever you are, you’re treated better. Ahhh!” Bryan broke down and began sobbing uncontrollably. Neither Lore nor the others thought it fit to disturb him.

Instead, they all watched as the flames slowly fed off the primals. By the time Bryan had stopped crying, all the primals were nothing more than a pile of black ash. At that point, Lore finally spoke. 

“My family has a tradition, it started with my grandfather. When he was young, he was a tamer, like many young men these days. Along with his friend who he had grown up with, the two traveled across the kingdom, fighting ferals, entering tournaments, the two were adventurous.”

Bryan sniffled as he looked up toward Lore.

“Then one fateful day, my grandfather lost one of his beloved. He would refuse to leave her side, none of his other primals could stir him. His friend, who had already retired and became a glassblower with the help of his primals, heard of the news. He talked and begged, but my grandfather would not even answer his best friend’s pleading.”

Lore walked toward the remains of the primals.

“And so the friend came up with an idea. Even though he knew my grandfather might hate him for it, he couldn’t bear watching him lose himself in such a way.” Lore pulled out an empty glass bauble with a thin necklace attached to it and uncorked it. “A vessel made of glass. He had his primals help create it, the same ones who later reduced my grandfather’s beloved to ashes while he watched in horror. My grandfather was furious, and even tried to have his primals attack his friend for the act.”

Lore walked toward the heap of ash once known as Sally, and dipped his hand inside, scooping some of her up. “While my grandfather raged and screamed, the friend picked up some of the ashes, and placed them inside the bauble.” Lore placed a finger against the opening of the bauble, and tilted his hand so that the ash would fall along it inside. He then placed a small cork at the top and presented it to Bryan. “And he offered it to my grandfather. He told him, ‘Now, you will no longer be rooted to the ground to stay by her side. Now, she will follow you, wherever you go.’”

Bryan took the Bauble. Lore made a gesture of wrapping the necklace portion around his neck, and Bryan did so. The weight of her ashes. Somehow, she felt even heavier now than when she was alive. Lore then presented an empty bauble to Bryan, and Bryan began to move toward Sina. He gently took some of her remains and poured them into the glass vessel. Finally, he placed the cork, sealing her remains inside, and held it out toward Lore. Lore graciously accepted it and put on the necklace. Three baubles now hung at the center of his chest. Bryan felt depressed when he saw them bumping into each other with each step Lore took.

“In time, my grandfather came to forgive that man. The deaths which once held him down, I will not say that the burden ever grew lighter. There were times when I remembered the man speaking to the air. I believe he thought he was talking to his primals, in his mind still alive before him. And perhaps he was. When his time came, he asked that the ashes be spread into the dirt heaped atop him, so that whether there was a heaven or only the dirt, he knew he’d be with them all the same.”

“But… to carry something like that, all your life, isn’t that heavy?” Bryan asked.

Lore smiled. “It won’t cause much neck pain if that’s what you’re worried about.” Lore’s expression dimmed. “Perhaps you’re right, but better to walk burdened than to stand empty-handed. Though I will say, in some ways, my grandfather was a fortunate man. He passed at a time when men could still seemingly grow old, and be buried with their loved ones. I pray that one day I can do the same.”

“Thank you… Lore. I, I feel better. I am still sad, but I know I need to push forward. Peter did an awful job of showing me this, but you, you made it make sense. Thank you.”

Lore gave a complicated smile. “Go easy on Peter, for I think he carries a burden far greater than most. I have met a few men like him in my travels. Those who have grown so fearful of death, that they protect all those around them in a desperate attempt to conquer it.”

“Is that… wrong, to care for others?”

“Not at all. But such extreme tendencies lead to self-destructive nature. Whereas most tamers may hope to be buried with their beloved primals, I fear Peter may find himself one day carried by them instead.”

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