Ah yes, being in a relationship was amazing. Going on dates, watching TV shows while snuggled together, leading an organized strike against an international villain organization’s base.
Well, that last one might not have been a typical pastime for couples, but hey, that’s what made this relationship even more special!
Unfortunately, having such a special relationship also had the side effects of the news constantly gushing about certain two villains going hero, teaming up with their former enemies, some new idiot in a fox costume appearing, yada yada yada, bad guys getting arrested and whatnot.
Speaking of which, it sure was odd to see Fractal not constantly trying to act all menacing and villainous in public. He probably felt really awkward after playing the villain game to appease his family for so long. But I was definitely glad for him finally being able to stick his middle finger to his oppressors from behind the protection of heroes.
That aside, remember the new idiot in a fox costume I’d mentioned? Yeah, somehow, I also found myself in the superhero school alongside the former villains, learning how to be a hero and… how to use my powers?
Yes, I had powers, the guy who could detect powers had said. What a ridiculous plot twist! I had literally zero chance of ever being able to figure that out on my own. Not because there had been no hints or clues along the way. No, it was because I was just exceedingly dumb and liked to ignore the obvious. My trademark, if I was allowed to say that.
But all of that was unimportant mumbo jumbo nobody gave a damn about. All I cared about right now was to be all lovey-dovey with my girlfriend, making people puke from sugar poisoning. That’s what Troy called it, at least.
“So, Aster…” Miranda asked as we made our way through the streets.
“Yeah?”
“You’ve gotten yourself into a pretty crazy arrangement, haven’t you?”
“Yeah…?”
“Damn, I wish I had powers. Even if they were dumb like yours,” Troy interjected.
“Shut up! You’re dumb!” I masterfully deflected.
“Anyway, you could have told us sooner, you know,” Miranda continued, ignoring Troy.
“Well… I did tell you. And then that happened.”
A wry smile appeared on her face. “Well… point. But it all ended well, didn’t it?” The wry smile transformed into a cheeky one.
“Only due to dumb luck,” I said deadpan.
“... By which you mean, your powers,” Troy very unhelpfully interjected.
“Still, I never thought I would have a part-time job working for heroes… or former villains,” Kelly admitted.
“Well, you tell me. I never thought I would actually be a hero… After being a minion of a supervillain for a while.”
Thinking about it, my situation was completely ridiculous. But hey, I could deal with ridiculous.
“Don’t worry,” Fern said as she put a hand on my shoulder. “You’ll get used to it.” She pecked me on my lips just as I turned to face her, making me squeak.
Aaah, not good! I was supposed to be the coolest strongest person among us! I couldn’t be blushing right now!
For some reason, that made Miranda in the back laugh like crazy, while Troy was off to the side looking like he was getting the sugar poisoning again.
“What are you laughing at?!” I turned to Miranda, ignoring Fern and Kelly having the most mischievous smiles humanly possible.
Ugh, at times like these, I regretted getting rid of the good old voice modulator. Sure, it had caused its share of misunderstandings, but at least people had given me some respect!
“You… heh, you know. It’s just hilarious. How long has it been? Three months? Barely that? Just three months ago you were adamantly denying being gay. And now look at you!” She grinned. “I was toootally right!”
That made me stop in my tracks.
…
Dammit! I was gay! She was right all along!
Ugh, maybe instead of practicing how to use my power I should practice to not be so god-freaking-damn dense!
…
And so, our party of five made it to the hero headquarters, with me -- who was supposedly undefeatable due to my power -- completely defeated by the virtue of simple teasing.
This was simultaneously the best and the worst power ever!