Chapter 2: Chapter 1: an identity crisis

It’s weird. I remember my life as George, and I know I was playing a game, but whenever I think of one of the memorable moments from the game it’s always from this perspective. I remember how I moved the mana, but not what buttons I pressed. Even when I fought Jools, who is one of the top PvP players, in one of the few in person tournaments I joined. I remember both Jared thanking George for the fun match and the character Jools thanking Zena for the match. Of course I returned the gesture in both memories since it was a fun match. We are both agility players afterall, leading to the most entertaining matchup adding to the fact that Zena is decidedly off-meta. The scary thing is that I KNOW PvP matches go until one player dies. At least that is what Georges memories say, Zenas memories say that the match only went until she could no longer fight. I remember both the announcer introducing George as the savior of Arcadium and the people in the arena cheering for both the princess of Zendor and the whirlwind Jools. 

Yeah, the public found out that I helped out the developers, even though neither I nor the developers told them. Sometime after my character became canon, someone put it all together and the reputation of George and Zena solidified in the eyes of the community. I even got thanks from some of the other long time players. 

But I need to figure out the current situation, I can’t just stare at the beautiful scenery and reminisce about the past. Should I cling to the past and assert myself as George, or should I look forward and continue as Zena. Can I do either?

I can feel the massive amount of mana surging within my small body, eager to do whatever I tell it to. I am almost certain that was never the case with George. George had a large body, at the very least. Not fat, but slightly overweight and almost 2 meters tall. I think I am shorter than that, but hard to tell in this new environment as there are no known references.

“You’ve been standing there staring for the last half hour. Are you ok?”

I reflexively use ‘mana thruster’ to move me away from the voice and turn me around. Well, I call it mana thruster, but it is actually an equivalent spell that is a few tier higher up. ‘Mana thruster’ actually applies an accuracy debug on the user which funnily applies to subsequent uses of ‘mana thruster’ causing the user to fly all over the place. A funny memory for George, but Zena remembers all the scratches accrued trying to control it. At least until she got the fall damage reduction tattoo. All it does is slow you down before you hit something, which is superbly useful when moving around at high speed. Jools has foregone the tattoo since as a melee character he likes to ram into people.

“You are staring, are you really there?”

I finally leave my mind and look at the person who just spoke. It’s David. Zena desperately wants to kneel in front of him, but George is adamant that David is a friend.

“David” I manage to squeak out. The voice sounding unique, clearly female, but darker than ‘Female #3’ that Zena was using in the game.

“Yes?” he answers nonchalantly. I can’t help but stare in confusion and before I fall back into deep thoughts he continues “what’s going on in that head of yours?”

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“Who am I?” I can't help ask, hoping he holds the answer. But he only answers with “who do you want to be?”

Becoming agitated at the fact that only questions came out of his mouth and replying a little louder than the soft spoken George would have done, but not as loud as Zena probably would have done “Am I George or am I Zena?!” He seems unperturbed at my increasing volume and answers calmly “both?”. His answer makes sense, but the fact that he phrased it as a question only increases my agitation and I scream out “I WAS BOTH, BUT NOW I AM ONE!!!”

“Ah. I see your problem.” he calmly says. The fact that it was not a question and that he seems to have come to an understanding takes the wind out of my sails and I simply stare at him for answers.

“Calm down and I will help you through this Identity crisis of yours.” He continues as he walks over to one of the larger rocks and sits down on one side and pats the other with his right hand. I take a deep breath and follow him onto the rock. We sit there quietly looking at the waterfall and just as my thoughts start again, he continues. 

“You still are both, but I think you should pull out one of your mirrors from your inventory.”

Not thinking too hard about his suggestion, I take out the first mirror from the inventory ‘Angles reflection’, a full length floor mirror complete with detailed wings and spelling mistakes in the engraving. At least the hovering enchantment functions whilst I feed it mana. Just before I comment on the spelling mistake, I see the reflection of Zena and can’t help but say “I’m Zena” quietly. “Yes” he answers just as quietly before continuing “You are in the body of Zena, yes, but you are also George. You have always been both, and I suspect you are just panicking over the sudden change in situation.”

Thinking more clearly now that I am calm, I think back to the battle with Jools. Both sides of the memory are clear now, the final clash ‘Q3E’ as the final desperate sequence of buttons before Jools dealt the final blow. It was supposed to be a short range teleport behind him, mana bullet to his back and thruster away from him and I remember gathering the mana for the teleport before he crashed into me and everything went black.

Shaking my head and looking at the mirror again I see Zena. My green messy hair going just below my shoulders, the black swirly tattoo below my left eye that uses mana to increase my perception, strongly contrasting my pale skin. My black teardrop shaped ear-rings glowing dimly green thanks to the small amount of mana I feed to the mirror. They are magic amplifying catalysts, focusing only on increasing the power of my spells, at the cost of efficiency. My yellowish green eyes staring as intently back at me as I am staring at them. My silken capelet matching my hair and eyes gently covering my tight fitting black sweater. My dress matches the color and the swirling pattern of the capelet and is split on both sides of the skirt so as to not hinder my high speed movement and finally the black tights to complete the look and to ensure that nothing shows when moving.

Finally it clicks in my mind, my body may have changed from George to Zena overnight, but I am still me. I smile at my reflection.