Chapter 22: Chapter 21: James’ turn

I followed after Jools, leaving Jo to watch over our table. Soon enough we enter his room, and he closes the door after us before sitting down on the bed and speaking.

“So, I’ve been thinking about all that has happened over the last couple of days. And if I’m being honest, I’m kinda jealous. You got here with your main character which has reached the end game with its ‘bottomless wealth’ as you called it. I got here with my side character, which hasn’t. I mean, my main character isn’t female either, so I wouldn’t be stuck being a gender I don’t feel like. 

Jools was built and optimized specifically for PvP. He lacks a lot of stuff when it comes to living life in general. Zena was always kinda a generalist, with at the very least something for every situation. This has become very clear over the last few days, as you have had one solution after another for the problems that occur. The ONLY advantage I’ve had over you is being able to start a fire, and that was something James brought along, and which you promptly rectified with your ‘bottomless wealth’. I kinda wish I had gotten here with Gerard instead, since he had gotten to the super late game like Zena, and was likewise a sort of generalist, though he was still a stamina build. Which brings me to the next point.

Reality nerfed my beloved stamina builds!”

He said the last sentence with some significant frustration, though before I could respond, he continued.

“Mana builds seem to have only gotten more useful, with the all important inventory becoming practically mana exclusive.”

He then sighed deeply. I think he just needs someone to listen to him, so I’ll do so. After his sigh, he continued.

“I mean, I also have the double memory thing, which I sort of ignored until you lent me that whole mirror setup. It helped me sort my thoughts, so thanks for that, but it also showed me just how different hands we have been dealt in this whole ordeal. I didn’t find anything physical that carried over from James, though I never put much thought into the appearance of Jools, he was always meant to be a PvP powerhouse, not eye-candy. Jools’ body is pretty similar to James’, so I probably had an easier time adjusting to that aspect than you, though I didn’t find anything physical that ties me back to my life as James, like your butterfly. My eyes are blue like James’, but I don’t actually know if Jools had blue eyes or not.” At this point I decide to interject. I know the color of Jools’ eyes, since I looked at the replays of the tournament.

“Jools had brown eyes.” 

“Wait, really?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know how to feel about that. I always liked my blue eyes, but it’s not something I have thought about. I guess that means that the physical mixing is a thing for me as well.

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On the mental front, I just assumed that James and Jools had a similar personality, though when we fought the abomination, I learned that that's not true. It awoke something in me, a lust for battle. James never fought anyone and honestly, I don’t like that feeling. It felt great at the moment, but it leaves such a bad aftertaste once I think about it for a while. I don’t want to be the fighting monster that Jools was.”

As he continues speaking, he sounds increasingly sad. He doesn’t want to be the fighting machine that Jools was. When I reflected back then, I came to the conclusion that I’m neither the original Zena, nor George, so I decide to share my conclusion with him. I walk over and pull him into a hug to silence his increasingly sad mumbling. I don’t have the strength to force him into a hug, but he gladly reciprocates it. By the time we separate, my shoulder is wet and he is weakly smiling. Using this opportunity, I say “You don’t have to be Jools. Neither do you need to be James. You don’t owe anyone to behave a certain way. You are strong enough to not fight. You already showed that with the wolf. I’m pretty sure Jools would have smashed it to pieces for the infinitesimal amount of experience that it would yield.”

As I finish my sentence, he simply pulls me into another hug. This one lasts longer than the last, and my shoulder gets even wetter. After he releases me from the honestly quite comfortable hug, we simply smile at each other. 

“Thank you.” he mutters, before letting himself fall backwards onto the bed. I for my part simply sit myself down next to him in silence as he contemplates the solution I gave him. 

After a few minutes, I start speaking. “I never asked what I should call you, and just used your in-game name, even though it was literally the first thing you did to me. Do you want me to keep calling you Jools, or should I use James, or even something else entirely?”

“I’m not entirely sure, But I think I prefer James.” he answers in a low voice.

“Then, how are you feeling James?”

“I don’t know for sure, but better I guess. I still need some time to think about it. I ate some food earlier, so I’ll probably go to sleep early. I’m emotionally drained and need to recharge for a while. Thank you for the hug, by the way, there have been far too few of them in either of my previous lives.”

“No problem, I also happen to like hugs, but it is as I said earlier, we are in this together. If you need help, you need only ask. I’ll help you to the best of my abilities, though I can’t do everything. The ability known as ‘bottomless wealth’ can do a lot though.” Having lots of coins is just a natural result of a lot of grinding, but referring to it as an ability had us chuckling.

Afterwards we just sat there enjoying each other's company for a while. I took him snoring lightly as my cue to leave.

When I returned to the common area, I found it empty. Our discussion took longer than I thought, so I just ate some fruits and went to bed.