Chapter 111: Chapter One Hundred and Eight: Future Personnel Assessment

While Qube was trying to figure out if this meant that Bianca was the Dev equivalent of Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s mother (and had somehow avoided the surprisingly common motherhood-induced death), Alex was still facing off against Definitely Bad Guy and Sewer Bard.

 

“What do both of you want?” Alex asked the two men. Sewer Bard started to answer, before Alex raised a hand, cutting him off. “Not necessarily right now. After you’ve finished the quest, or whatever it is you want to do. What, fundamentally, do you want?”

 

Sewer Bard closed his mouth, but Definitely Bad Guy had no such hesitation.

 

“I want knowledge,” the Mage said. “You and your compatriots speak of a world I know nothing about, and powers beyond any I have ever experienced. The one who came before you even spoke of the creators of mana, of the ability to will existence itself into being. That knowledge is what I seek, beyond anything else.”

 

Alex covered his mouth thoughtfully.

 

“Knowledge for knowledge’s sake?” he asked. “Or for a particular reason? Is there some reason you want to know things?”

 

Definitely Bad Guy didn’t flinch under the examination of the most powerful being in their world. Instead he returned the look, deadly serious.

 

“Everything I am is dedicated towards learning more,” he said. Alex lifted an eyebrow.

 

“Everything?” he asked, with a meaningful undertone. The Mage went slightly pink, but didn’t look away.

 

“Everything of me with worth,” he replied.

 

“Noted,” Alex said, accepting this without further remark. “What are you willing to do for this knowledge?” he asked.

 

Several expressions chased themselves across the Mage’s face.

 

“Whatever is required of me,” he replied eventually. Alex nodded, giving nothing away.

 

“What about if it endangered those dear to you?”

 

This time there was no hesitation in the Mage’s response.

 

“I am loyal,” he said, conviction so strong you could build an empire on it. Alex gave a short, sharp breath out through his nose but, rather than saying anything more, turned to Sewer Bard.

 

“And what about you?” he asked the Bard. “What do you want?”

 

Sewer Bard bowed to the Alex Dev. “Before I answer, kind creator, if I may have one or two points explained to me?”

 

Alex gave a small, disappointed sigh, but continued smiling.

 

“Sure,” he said, “what do you need explained?”

 

“What have this humble Bard and Mage done to draw such attention from the Devs themselves?” For an instant Sewer Bard’s eyes flickered over to Qube, before returning to the Dev. “Neither have done anything of particular import.”

 

Qube swelled in indignation as Alex rubbed his chin. How could Sewer Bard downplay his achievements like that? And the work of Definitely Bad Guy as well! Why, both had been essential in defeating the Temples, as well as helping with everything else!

 

“There have been… moments,” Alex said, “where you have all shown the potential to be more than what you currently are.”

 

“Like our fair Healer’s specialness?” Sewer Bard asked.

 

There was only a split second’s pause before Alex replied; “Yes, exactly. Each of you are showing signs of being capable of advancing beyond your current limits. Part of my job here today is to assess what your current limits are, and whether or not you would be suitable for ...” the Dev paused, clearly being careful with his words, “ascension.”

 

---

 

Meanwhile, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was also asking questions.

 

“If I’m your baby, then why are Ruler Wefton and Head Guard —”

 

“Metaphorical baby,” Bianca said, ruthlessly cutting off whatever the Hunter had been about to ask. “Not literal baby. That would be super, super gross for so many reasons.”

 

“Naturally,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, as if she regularly dealt with the makers of their world talking about how gross it was to have made them. 

 

“But I made you, so I feel responsible for you. Kinda like how the last dev,” Bianca shot a look over at Alex, who was still engrossed in conversation with the others. The dev still lowered her voice. “The last dev felt responsible for the Qube, and the Golden Prophecy and that whole mess. I also kinda-sorta-didn’t do some things to stop your spider self combining with your wood elf self, which is why we’re having so many issues now. Turns out form and identity are way more linked than they should be. You’re not the only one we’ve run into this problem with, but you’re definitely the main one I actually feel bad about.”

 

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady tilted her head, running a tongue over her fangs as she digested what the Dev had just said. “My dear, I’m so sorry if this is a crude question, but who are you?”

 

“I’m Bianca, a dev,” Bianca said, looking disappointed. “I guess you’re not as smart as we thought.”

 

“It is not wise to underestimate me just because of my good looks, or because I’m a giant spider,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady chastised the almighty being. “My dear Healer over there called you Ruth, and recognised you and your companion. Obviously, since my sweet innocent is too trusting to ask the question, I must.” The Hunter’s voice hardened. “Whose bodies are you in, and are they aware that you are controlling them?”

 

Bianca was taken aback. “Oh, yeah, these forms.”

 

“Yes,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, in the same serious tone. “My dear Hero obviously agreed to let you use his body, but he already has a relationship with you. Did these two also agree?”

Bianca tilted back her head, looking up at the venomous arachnid towering over her, the eternally screaming children’s faces stitched into her sides straining for release.

 

“No,” she replied. “But I’m not using their actual bodies. More like a copy.” The Dev chewed on her bottom lip. “Like you said, the Chosen One —” she broke off, chewing harder as she thought. “The Chosen One’s body was designed for us to enter. Same with the other two. These were the two who didn’t get picked, but they still had to be ready in case they were chosen.”

 

“By the Golden Prophecy?” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady relaxed slightly at the Dev’s answer.

 

“Yeah. You could say that.” The Dev continued studying the Hunter, a glimmer entering her eyes. “You really care about this, don’t you?”

 

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady flicked her hair over her shoulder joints.

 

“Of course! It’s the duty of anyone on the side of Good to make sure that people aren’t having their bodies taken over against their will,” she said nonchalantly. 

 

The Dev gave a non-commital grunt in response, her gaze once again flickering over to Alex.

 

“You got a real thing about being in control,” she said eventually, looking back at the Hunter. “I remember that from the reports. Honestly, you probably got that from me. That’s cool, I can respect that. Alex won’t like it, but I get it.”

 

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady popped her abdomen out to the side.

 

“Your respect is all I have ever desired,” she said dangerously. “After all, if we don’t have the respect of our darling Devs, what have we got?”

 

---

 

“What do you mean by ascension?” Qube could no longer contain herself. Despite internally promising that she wouldn’t interfere with this important Dev-subject bonding, she blurted out the question before either of her party members could respond.

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Alex, however, didn’t look at all put out by her rudeness.

 

“You’re aware that the Devs come from a different plane of existence, yes?” he half-stated, half-asked. “That was the explanation that made sense to you, right?”

 

“Of course!” Qube chirruped.

 

“Right. Well, when we made this ga-uh, place, we used materials given to us by… I don’t remember what the equivalent was here. The King and Queen? People in charge of keeping everything safe.”

 

“That would be Royalty, yes,” Qube said, eyes wide with wonder. Of course! From the very instant she realised there was a hierarchy in play between the Devs, she should have known there would be a ruler! And, naturally, it had to be Royalty!

 

“Royals, yeah, wow, you really light up around that word,” Alex said, slightly disconcerted. “Good to know. The irony… Anyway, so these Royals gave us the — mana I think was the example we used? — to make new worlds. But we weren’t the only ones given this power. Other Devs were also given the ability to make new worlds. I think.” Alex broke off, frowning to himself. “I never actually confirmed that. I assume they must have. Yeah,” he nodded, “yeah, of course they did.”

 

Qube patiently waited for her creator to get to the point.

 

“But when we discovered that there was someone ‘special’ in this world,” Qube blushed as all three men looked at her, “the Royals,” another hesitation before using that word, clearly he respected the Dev Royals so much he struggled to even speak their title! “Decided that it would be worth seeing what other uses you could be put to. When the reports came back that there might be other emergent, uh, ‘specials’, we were asked to widen our assessment.”

 

Alex paused before continuing, considering each word before he spoke.

 

“We believe that the best course of action is to allow you to continue developing with the Chosen One. Your commitment to completing your mission is admirable, and not a trait we wish to discourage. The stronger your relationship is, the happier we will be. However, it was thought best if the others were consulted.”

 

“Why would our fair Healer and Noble Patron’s relationship cause you happiness?” Sewer Bard cut into the conversation. Definitely Bad Guy threw the Bard a look that Qube almost didn’t recognise on the sour Mage’s face. Was that … gratitude?

 

“Because that will keep her safe,” the Dev replied grimly.

 

“From what?” Definitely Bad Guy asked, flames appearing at his fingertips. 

 

“Long story. One I straight up don’t know how to explain in a way that’ll make sense to everyone here. Look, this isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about,” Alex said, frustrated. “Bard, I’ve answered your questions; can you answer mine?”

 

“Of course, my most profuse of apologies,” Sewer Bard said, once again bowing to the Dev. “You ask what I want? Why, what any man of worth desires. I wish to help save the kingdom, and use my skills for the greater Good.” 

 

Qube wondered if this meant that Sewer Bard thought Definitely Bad Guy was a man of worth. After all, he wanted to save the kingdom for the side of Good. This also meant that Qube was a woman of worth, which felt like a nice title. Much nicer than continuously being called ‘fair Healer’ by the Bard. She might ask him to switch, once they’d finished talking to these all powerful beings.

 

“After saving the kingdom,” the Dev said patiently.

 

“Well, it is a bit selfish of me, but I have hope that the epic saga I write of these adventures will be included in the annals of the great Bardic songs,” Sewer Bard said, with becoming modesty.

 

A smile quirked on Alex’s lips.

 

“Perfect,” he said. “And what would you be willing to do, to become famous?”

 

“I would be willing to perform anywhere, anytime,” Sewer Bard replied.

 

“Would you be willing to sing about other things, not just your adventures here? Things designed to help inspire people on their own adventures?”

 

“Of course,” Sewer Bard said, pulling his lute off his back and strumming it. “I know many songs, for a wide variety of occasions. Songs that will inspire courage, fear, happiness. I have made many a fair maiden weep with but the sound of my voice.”

 

Qube didn’t think that was something he should be bragging about, but the Dev seemed pleased.

 

“I take it you have need of a Bard such as myself?” Sewer Bard asked eagerly. Alex shrugged.

 

“Depends. Not my call to make. But people always need … inspiration.”

 

“It would be an honour to finally have an audience,” Sewer Bard said. “I’m afraid I have another question though, if I may.” The Dev signalled for him to continue. The Bard’s face was perfectly smooth as he resumed talking.

 

“Occasionally, I have found myself in pain when I attempt to do or think certain things, or I am unable to fully control my body. Seeing you and the beautiful Bianca over there, as well as your taking over of our Noble Patron, I cannot help but wonder if this loss of control and pain is something you are aware of?”

 

Alex stared at the Bard in total silence, as Sewer Bard calmly waited for a reply, his fingers pressed flat against the strings of his lute.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Bianca, perhaps drawn over by hearing her name, drifted back to the group, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady in tow. “That’s the rules.”

 

“I thought it was the Golden Prophecy,” Qube admitted. After all, that was what made sure they remained Good, wasn’t it? Bianca shrugged.

 

“You can call it that. Think of it like built-in limitations, to stop everyone from getting out of control and hurting yourselves or wrecking everything,” the Dev said.

 

“So that we can better fulfil the Golden Prophecy,” Qube nodded. That was probably what the Dark Prophecy was using to control the Evil Emperor and his hypothetical companion.

 

“I am not named in the Golden Prophecy,” Sewer Bard said, at his most diplomatic. “So you must forgive my confusion on the matter.”

 

“What Bianca was trying to say,” Alex cut in, abandoning his stupor to glare at his fellow Dev, “is that these are rules to the world itself. Like gravity.”

 

“But these are rules in the world you created, yes?” Sewer Bard asked smoothly, his fingers slowly curling around the lute strings.

 

“We did the best with what we had,” Alex said, sounding almost defensive. “This is all new to us, too. Half the time, the stuff we’re dealing with doesn’t make any sense at all.”

 

“But when we ascend, will we be moving beyond these limits?” Definitely Bad Guy asked. “Is this ability to, as your compatriot stated last time, ‘become more like the Chosen One’, not what attracted your attention to us in the first place?”

 

Alex started rubbing at his temples, suddenly looking ten years older.

 

“That’s not something I can answer,” he said. “I’m gonna need to take this to the… Royals… and ask them. They know the rules and limits better than us. Possibly. I’m less sure about that every single day.” The Alex Dev had devolved into muttering at Bianca, who shrugged again. This was clearly a long standing argument. He sighed, and looked back at the group. “Anyway, Qube said she wanted to continue with the quest, I take it the rest of you feel the same?”

 

Definitely Bad Guy nodded silently, and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady threw an arm around Qube’s waist, pulling her in close.

 

“Of course we want to help our dear little Healer save the world,” she purred, her fur rubbing against Qube. “There’s nothing sweeter than a girl’s happiness.” Bianca gave Sexy Screamy Spider Lady a sideways look at that, but said nothing.

 

“As long as I can hold out hope of one day being able to perform in front of a worthy audience, I am content,” Sewer Bard said, slinging his lute behind him, and giving his most elaborate bow to the two Devs. “That is all I could ever desire.”

 

“Thanks,” Alex said, waving off the Bard’s effusive comments. “Good to know. Now, if there’s no further questions, we’ll head off.”

 

It was, all in all, a very successful meeting with the powers that be. One that any Childhood Companion would be proud to be a part of. There was only one small, teeny tiny problem. A problem that was only obvious to Qube because she’d spent the last weeks (months?) with this party.

 

Sewer Bard had been lying.

 

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