Chapter 113: Chapter One Hundred and Ten: Fast Travel Lag

The idea of Sewer Bard and Definitely Bad Guy agreeing with each other was still something that Qube struggled to wrap her head around. Especially something so important as the Devs!

 

Maybe that was the key, though? They would argue about the little things, like Definitely Bad Guy’s experiments in his tower, or Sewer Bard’s singing ability, but when it came to the important things, like the beings who ruled over them and dictated whether they would live or die, they could put aside their smaller differences and work together.

 

After all, even though they argued a lot, in the end they were still on the same side. That was one of the perks of being on the side of Good: when push came to shove, they would always do what was right!

 

Which made Sewer Bard’s assertion that the Devs might not be fully trustworthy even more troubling.

 

Sewer Bard continued his speech: “It is not that I distrust the Devs,” he explained painstakingly, “it’s more that I would advise caution.” He looked down at Qube, his jogging rhythm never changing. “The stories are full of those who, either through greed or naivety, trusted those with power, and paid the price for it. I don’t think you would suffer due to greed, like some —” here he shot a meaningful look to the Mage, who was in too deep a meditation to notice, “—but you are… kind. Even to those who don’t deserve it.” He shot another look at Definitely Bad Guy.

 

There was nothing flirtatious in the Bard’s tone, but Qube still found herself faintly blushing. Even though she had worked hard her entire life to be kind, it was still a little embarrassing (and pleasing) to have someone point it out.

 

“I would be interested, though, to hear your reasoning, Definitely Bad Guy,” Sewer Bard said to the Mage in a louder voice. The Mage ignored him. Anger immediately flared in the Bard’s face, so quickly that it must have been simmering away just under the surface.

 

“Definitely Bad Guy,” Qube said, reaching out and touching the Mage’s shoulder. Just as when she’d first touched Sewer Bard while he was travel-meditating, Definitely Bad Guy seemed to awaken, as if from a deep sleep. Without breaking step, he looked around, blinking at the Healer and Bard.

 

“Yes?” he asked, still looking groggy.

 

“The Devs,” Sewer Bard said, and the Mage instantly became more attentive. “What is your reasoning for thinking their offer may be a ruse?”

 

Definitely Bad Guy looked from Sewer Bard, to Qube, then back again.

 

“The Devs fear her. And, from how they interacted with the Hunter, they want to build a personal relationship with her, too. Whereas the questions they asked us were not designed to build rapport.” The Mage’s eyes flared red. “They were questions one asks a potential soldier.”

 

“There is… sense, in what you say,” Sewer Bard said, looking like he was trying to eat a slice of lemon. “For my part, I found them very interested in finding out as much about us as they could, but giving away little of themselves.”

 

Qube felt extremely nervous about this conversation. She glanced at the Chosen One’s back, but he still seemed deep in his ‘make travel go fast’ state. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and Squiggles were also meditation-jogging, but they weren’t the ones Qube was worried about reporting this whole conversation to the very people they were talking about.

 

Not that she didn’t trust the Chosen One to protect her!

 

She just wished she knew what he wrote in those reports.

 

“I have a theory about why they are interested in the Hunter now,” Definitely Bad Guy said. Sewer Bard gestured for him to continue speaking. “They had minimal interest in the rest of us, until the Hunter rejected the curing of her curse.”

 

“That’s not true!” Qube interjected. “The Chosen One was asking us all kinds of questions, long before that!”

 

“He was, yes,” Definitely Bad Guy conceded. “But nothing like the targeted interest of the Devs after she refused to have her curse removed. Moreover,” Definitely Bad Guy smiled, and Qube realised with a jolt that he actually seemed to be enjoying himself, “they were unable to safely remove her curse. This is the second time they have been unable to remove a curse from a subject.”

 

Sewer Bard was fully focused on the Mage now, no trace of his normal distaste for the man evident.

 

“You think they’re related,” he stated, rather than asked.

 

“I didn’t ask them to remove my curse!” Qube exclaimed, only to be ignored.

 

“I suspect so,” the Mage replied, staring at the Bard.

 

“Just because they don’t fully control the whole world, doesn’t mean they’re trying to trick us!” Qube exclaimed. “They made us; if they were truly afraid of us and wanted us gone, they would just do it!”

 

Sewer Bard was silent for a while, thinking deeply. Definitely Bad Guy looked around, seeming to take in the scenery for the first time since leaving his meditation. Qube was considering kicking one, or maybe both, if they continued ignoring her.

 

“The Chosen One is afraid of the [Siren’s Song]”, Sewer Bard said abruptly. It was strange, hearing him call the Chosen One something other than ‘Noble Patron.” It felt oddly out of place.

 

“The mermaid’s spell…” Definitely Bad Guy said thoughtfully. “It is a form of control, partway between a curse and a blessing. The only limitation seems to be that it must be continuously applied in order to remain effective. If they are indeed incapable of removing certain curses, it would be one of the few things that could potentially threaten them.”

 

Qube felt fear clawing at her throat. She wanted to shout at them to stop: stop talking, stop thinking, stop analysing this because the way they were talking… It frightened her.

 

They were acting as if they meant to attack the Devs. As if the Devs were a threat.

 

“It’s the same as your [Heal] spell,” the Mage said to Qube. “It brings them joy, yes, for it cures them of whatever ails them, but it also exposes the subject to … something.”

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“That’s because of the curse,” she mumbled, starting to lag behind the group. She didn’t want to have this conversation with them. She wanted to change the topic. But all she could think of were stupid puns, interesting facts, and giggling. She didn’t know how to interrupt them. She didn’t know if she was supposed to. The Devs were Good. But Sewer Bard and Definitely Bad Guy were also Good.

 

What was she supposed to do when Good turned against Good?

 

“Both a blessing and a curse. [Heal]ing and other blessings are very much on the side of Good, while any kind of curse would be firmly on the side of Evil,” Definitely Bad Guy said. “It’s part of what makes you so fascinating. The inherent contradiction of someone in your position being a Healer.” Definitely Bad Guy suddenly went bright red. “Fascinating to the Devs!” he added hurriedly. “It also implies they cannot directly interfere with the work of the Evil Emperor, including his curses. They said it themselves. It is against the rules.”

 

“Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s curse was affected through our fair Healer [Heal]ing the magnificent Dryad Queen, passing on part of the Evil Emperor’s curse,” Sewer Bard said. ”Perhaps the beautiful Hunter’s place in the party fulfilling the Golden Prophecy means she’s imbued with more of the Dev’s power than her fellow Wood Elves. Could her connection to the Golden Prophecy make the impact of the Evil Emperor’s curse stronger, or more dangerous?” Sewer Bard asked nobody in particular, a thread of distress in his voice as he looked over at the Hunter.

 

“It would explain why the curse remained with her, and no other,” Definitely Bad Guy said.

 

“Thus why they sought to establish relationships with the two afflicted members of our party, while merely looking to employ those who were not cursed by him,” Sewer Bard continued, following his own line of reasoning. 

 

No. It hadn’t been because of any curse that the Devs paid attention to Qube. That had been part of it, but they’d said she was special. She was close to the Chosen One. She had done such a good job of being a Companion. The Devs had been scary, true. And strange. But they hadn’t seemed plotting or conniving. They’d wanted her to be happy. They’d wanted all of them to be happy.

 

“Which implies that curses are something beyond their influence,” Definitely Bad Guy said eagerly, happy to share his theories with someone. “They did not create the source of power that they used to shape the world, so they do not fully control it.”

 

“Of course,” Sewer Bard inhaled sharply as a thought struck him. “They aren’t the only Devs.”

 

They knew that! The Devs had said that! Why were they doing this?

 

“In every epic saga, there is the struggle between Good and Evil, where the gods cannot directly interfere with the power of the other side, and so must use champions to battle it out. We have the Golden Prophecy, and the Chosen One,” Sewer Bard, never slowing his jog, was practically shivering. “They have their own champion, the Evil Emperor. Their own lore.” 

 

“The Dark Prophecy,” Definitely Bad Guy said. Both mens’ eyes glowed as realisation struck.

 

“Which means that if our Devs are on the side of Good, there are Devs on the side of Evil. And if the Good Devs can’t influence curses from the champion of Evil, then the power he wields must be the power of the Evil Devs,” Sewer Bard said, almost whispering.

 

“And that is the only thing they cannot control,” Definitely Bad Guy said, in reverent tones. “That mixing of Good and Evil. That is what they truly fear.”

 

“That,” Sewer Bard said grimly, “is the only thing they truly respect.”

 

---

 

The two men fell silent after that. Qube, too, was quiet. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to say anything to either of them. She was still too busy trying to find all the (no doubt numerous) flaws in their logic.  

 

The Evil Devs behind the Dark Prophecy part made sense. She herself had speculated, and even tried to verify, the existence of her Evil counterpart to help the Evil Emperor stay on the path of darkness. The fact that there were Evil Devs fit in with that, although they would probably be very different from the Good Devs.

 

Qube tried to picture a sinister, Evil version of the Devs appearing before the Evil Emperor, getting stuck together, and then rolling around as a giant mush monster.

Would they give Evil laughs while they did it? Or would everyone be too self conscious about how undignified it was and just kind of pretend that it wasn’t happening until they left? Qube couldn’t imagine the Evil Emperor trying to help them, but the idea of him just continuing to sit on his (no doubt black and spiky) throne while a mush monster silently rolled around his court fairly boggled her mind.

 

Pulling herself away from attempting to construct a mental image of any of that madness, she moved on to the next logical pillar she wanted to dismantle: curses and blessings.

 

Healing of all types, and other blessings, were a good thing, which meant they were on the side of Good. It made sense, then, that it drew its power from the Good Dev’s part of the mana pool. Assuming that was how mana worked. Qube, while having a pretty good all-around understanding of how mana, spells, and magic generally worked, didn’t really know what the nitty-gritty was like. That was more for a specialist, like the Mage Advisor. And, if the resident Mage Advisor thought that curses were drawn from the Evil Dev’s power, well, she didn’t really have the ability to argue that.

 

Fine. So they’d made two extremely logical points. Qube turned and mentally attacked the third one.

 

If the sides of Good and Evil couldn’t directly counteract each other’s powers, then yes, they couldn’t remove curses, and yes, they would be interested in the cursed party members. But it didn’t follow that it was because they wanted to control them! They could be worried about corruption from the Evil influence, or if they were going to deviate from the Golden Prophecy, or any number of things! Who knew what having Evil Dev power inside a Good person could do?

 

Something about this tugged at her brain, but she refused to be distracted from her task. She was busy logicking!

 

If all the Devs had been worried about was wanting to control a cursed party member, then they would have contacted Qube as soon as she had been cursed! Instead, they had waited until she’d grown, become more special, really come into her own. Same with Sexy Screamy Spider Lady! She’d been cursed for ages! It wasn’t until she had really matured, and started to stand on all her many feet, that they had directly spoken to her!

 

In fact, while the curses might be a factor, it seemed far, far more likely to Qube that it was because she and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady had just grown into their own more, and embraced what made them special, while Definitely Bad Guy and Sewer Bard had yet to do so.

 

Now Qube just had to find a way to diplomatically tell the two men that they just weren’t special enough to attract the attention of the Devs, and that they shouldn’t blame the lack of curses for them not being close enough to the Chosen One to be important.

 

There had to be a polite way of saying that… right?

 

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