Chapter 123: Chapter One Hundred and Twenty: Bugs Bug

In the seconds before her hands covered her ears, Qube felt the power of [The Bard’s Ballad] start to unfurl.

 

It was warm, and soothing, like she was sinking into a soft bed after a long day’s work. As if her various aches and pains were being smoothed away, leaving her happy and healthy. But by far the strongest urge was to sing along, to pass on this song so that others could hear it, and feel the same. 

 

Then her ears were blocked, and the spell released its tentative grip on her.

 

Even though she couldn’t hear a single thing, she still felt like she could hear a song faintly in the distance. Not the ballad the Bard was playing, however. A slower, lower melody, just on the edge of hearing.

 

She saw the spell hit the first wave of beetles, the ones on fire. They stopped screaming and running around, and instead calmly stood there as the flames subsided. They blinked at Sewer Bard, and then started making strange clicking sounds. Their little eyes darted around, and their noise increased in frequency until they started scuttling around, rapid-fire clicking and rolling up into balls, some just shivering in their shells and others getting smacked into by their fellow beetles and ending up rolling around the room.

 

Qube watched Sewer Bard carefully, waiting for the signal that it was safe to hear again. After a while he stopped playing, but kept watching the beetles, his face completely neutral. Eventually he turned to the group, and gave them a thumbs up, in what Qube hoped was a sign that things were safe.

 

They really needed to figure out some kind of hand signal alphabet, just in case they were ever in a situation like this again. Especially if Sewer Bard was going to be using spells that could potentially affect them all.

 

Definitely Bad Guy, his robes flapping about him, strode up to Sewer Bard before Qube got a chance. She shook her head, trying to clear out the song she could still only just hear. There was a strange instrument in it, one she’d never heard before. It was like… reedy strings? No, some kind of wind instrument, maybe? She couldn’t place it at all, but it was an enticing, sinuous sound.

 

“A pity they seem incapable of speech,” the Mage said. Sewer Bard raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“My apologies,” he said, but Qube didn’t think he actually seemed that sorry. “I fear my natural instinct to protect all life overcame any thoughts of scientific value.”

 

“I should not have expected you to think of such a thing,” Definitely Bad Guy said graciously. “You have not my keen intellect.” Sewer Bard looked, if possible, even more neutral than before.

 

“Alas,” he said gently, before turning his attention back to the roaming beetles.

 

On the plus side, the insects didn’t appear hostile anymore. On the negative, they did appear somewhat distressed. At least, Qube assumed that all this running around and clicking was a symptom of bug distress. She didn’t exactly speak monster. Actually…

 

“Squiggles,” she asked her pet, “are you able to ask them how they’re feeling?” Surely Squiggles, who was technically a Temple-dweller, would have a better chance of communicating with these Temple-monsters than any of them?

 

Squiggles gave her a very offended look, and climbed up onto Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s back.

 

“Well, it was worth a try,” Qube said sadly. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady reached behind her and scratched under Squiggles’s ribbon. Squiggles happily drooled.

 

“My talented Bard,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, looking around at the mass of monsters, “whatever did you do to them?”

 

“It’s a spell the Mage Advisor and I have been working on,” Sewer Bard said, smiling at the Hunter affectionately. “We hope to be able to make what you would call a ‘catchy’ song, that will soothe the heart of any savage beast. Although,” he said suavely, stepping forward and taking one of Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s claws, “one smile from you would be enough to do that to everyone.”

 

The Hunter curled her claw shut, dragging the Bard slightly forward.

 

“My dear,” she said in a dangerous purr, “I have no interest in soothing hearts. I rather think I wish instead to eat them.” Sewer Bard shivered but, to Qube’s surprise, didn’t seem intimidated by this ghastly threat.

 

“My heart is, as always, yours to consume,” he replied earnestly. Qube didn’t think Sewer Bard was very good at biology. Except in magical cases, like the Dryad Queen, heart consumption tended to be somewhat fatal unless treated.

 

And he needn’t think she would go around [Heal]ing and regrowing his heart just because he kept offering it to various women!

 

While this strange conversation was happening, however, several more beetles burst through the ground. Before they could make their way to the group, though, they stopped, tilting their little heads as they listened to the chittering of their magic-touched brethren. 

 

“It is extremely difficult to tell whether or not the spell has worked as intended,” Definitely Bad Guy said, a hint of frustration in his voice.

 

“We’ll just have to try again,” Sewer Bard said, letting go of Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s claw and shrugging.

 

“Need I remind you that the opportunities for testing are severely limited?” Definitely Bad Guy snapped.

 

“You need not,” Sewer Bard calmly replied. “But I think we shall have more opportunities as we progress, especially if we eschew the violence so natural to our Noble Patron.”

 

“Wait a minute,” Qube said, the implication of some earlier statements suddenly hitting her. “You mean you just used an untested spell in a room filled with your allies? In a confined space? With no notice?”

 

Sewer Bard and Definitely Bad Guy swung around and looked at her like guilty children caught in the act.

 

“I assure you,” Definitely Bad Guy started to say, before Qube cut him off.

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“I think the fact you two have made a new spell is amazing!” she said enthusiastically. “But that was extremely dangerous! Please don’t put all of us in such danger again! That was very irresponsible, teehee!”

 

The two human males relaxed as they realised she wasn’t going to yell at them, only to immediately tense up again as Sexy Screamy Spider Lady stepped forward, her eight eyes practically glowing as the impact of Qube’s realisation hit her.

 

“That,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said in a low growl, “is putting it lightly.” She reached towards them and hooked two claws in each of the men’s outfits, the tips of said claws digging against their collar bones.

 

“My darling Healer raises a valid point, boys,” she continued in the same almost-growl. Out of the corner of her eye, Qube saw that some of the beetles were watching the party with interest. The Hunter pressed down, causing the two men to squirm. “You won’t be doing such a silly thing again, now will you, sweetlings?”

 

“Of course, my Hunter,” Sewer Bard said, wincing as she pressed harder. “I most humbly beg your pardon; in the heat of my realisation that these poor creatures may be like Lady Squiggles, I sought only to try and protect everyone as best I could.”

 

“It is the nature of research to —” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady dug down even harder into Definitely Bad Guy, who abruptly changed his tune. “Your point is well made, madame.”

 

“Good,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, releasing them. Her fangs were glistening with green venom as she stepped back.

 

“However, we will need to test it if we come across any additional enemies,” the Mage continued, more confident now he wasn’t being towered over by a giant arachnid. “We shall make sure to ask you to clear the room, and, unless there is an ambush, give more warning. Would that be acceptable?” he threw in the last part as Sexy Screamy Spider Lady frowned at him.

 

“Only because it means more little darlings will be safe,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, resuming scratching Squiggles with one of her claws.

 

“How did you come up with the spell?” Qube burst in. As pleased as she was that they were going down the path of non-aggression, she’d never been involved in the creation of an entirely new spell before! To be honest, she hadn’t known that new spells could be created. Thinking about it logically, of course there had to be new spells being made all the time, but for some reason she’d always thought of spells as fixed entities.

 

“It involved a combination of factors,” Definitely Bad Guy began, pleased to have an audience. 

 

“Shall we continue to the next room?” Sewer Bard asked, stepping aside and sweeping out an arm as he bowed to Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and Squiggles. “We should approach it with caution, so that I can warn you if I may need to cast.”

 

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady strutted past, not deigning to even look at him. Even Squiggles seemed annoyed with the Bard, only drooling at him a little from her perch.

 

“Lady Squiggles,” Sewer Bard said in a heartbroken voice as Squiggles went past. “Your displeasure wounds me, though I know I well deserve it. You, in particular, I endangered. If it hadn’t been for our Healer’s quick wits, I don’t know what would have happened. Please, forgive this humble Bard.” 

 

Squiggles whimpered, before launching herself at Sewer Bard and wrapping herself around his face, smothering him in a hug. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady stopped, and sighed as she looked at the team mascot encasing Sewer Bard in tentacles.

 

“The first step was analysing the various components that made up the [Siren’s Song] spell. The problem with that, of course, was the lack of longevity, and the fact that only those who heard the spell would be affected by it,” Definitely Bad Guy continued enthusing to Qube, ignoring the touching scene playing out behind him.

 

“Well if she can forgive you, I suppose I can too,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said begrudgingly to Sewer Bard.

 

“I shall strive to be worthy of your trust,” Sewer Bard said earnestly, bowing to her through a faceful of Squiggles.

 

“But, in a stroke of brilliance, I conceived of combining the infectious aspects of [Infected Fire] and weaving it into the vocal element of the [Siren’s Song] spell.” Definitely Bad Guy was unstoppable, barrelling over the others as he happily explained his process to Qube.

 

Qube was torn between her very genuine interest in spell-making, and her glee that the party was getting along and resolving disputes without needing her guidance. This left her free to work on bigger, better guidances! A tiny part of her did feel a small pang that they didn’t need her help resolving something, but she soothed said tiny part by telling it that they had learned this skill thanks to her expert guidance.

 

After all, she was a guiding light!

 

It also made sense that she could still hear some kind of song, if the spell was designed to be infectious. She would wait for a break in Definitely Bad Guy’s speech and then ask him about how long the side effects were supposed to last.

 

“I shall go first, to check if there are traps or monsters,” Sewer Bard announced, cutting off Definitely Bad Guy’s lecture. He hadn’t even needed prompting from Qube that it was his turn to lead a room!

 

Wait, was it his turn? This had been Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s room, right? So it was his turn. 

 

Qube hadn’t been sure, what, exactly, she’d been expecting when she’d demanded the Chosen One let the party be the ones to complete the Light Temple, but the vague hopes she’d harboured of it being an opportunity for them to grow certainly seemed to be coming to fruition. Already they seemed to be more confident, and self-assured.

 

Qube and the others walked past the still skittish beetles, which scurried out of their way as soon as they approached. Several of the insects were poking at the walls, clacking away with their pincers, while two of them seemed to be having a lively beetle-debate. Judging from the semi-circle of silently watching bugs surrounding the animated duo, it was clearly an interesting discussion. 

 

There was no actual door on the other side of the room, just an open doorway that they could walk through. Theoretically, the whole party could have chosen not to fight at all, and just run through the room of bugs and rush to the next part. They would have to think about things like that in the future. If they wanted to avoid violence, they would need to overcome their natural instincts and look for other solutions.

 

She just wished this song would go away.

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