Chapter 145: Book Three Chapter Five: Wiz_Snow_Effect

Qube had expected some kind of reaction from Definitely Bad Guy. It wasn’t every day that someone told you that you were going to seize your destiny! After all, he was the only one in the group who hadn’t yet been explicitly told what their destiny was, so he should be excited!

 

Although, now she thought about it, Squiggles also hadn’t been told what her destiny was. Did team mascots get destinies? What would hers even be? Would she be destined to eat something really interesting? That was something she did all the time. Had Squiggles already manifested her destiny?

 

But instead the Mage simply looked at the old man, and waited.

 

“When the traitor staged his coup, and took our brightest young minds,” — here the Head Mage nodded at Definitely Bad Guy, who just looked even more sour. Maybe he didn’t like being tactlessly reminded of the time he’d been kidnapped by an Evil megalomaniac? — “we decided to come together and create a Grand Working, a spell that could penetrate the foul magic he surrounded himself with. Unfortunately, great minds often come with great egos, and so we fell into infighting.”

 

The Chosen One, still flicking through the various piles of books, looked up at this, but then continued his scanning.

 

“Each Mage has a component of the spell that they have been working on, but none will leave their Wizard’s Towers to gather the information so we can complete the Grand Working. Go to each tower, and find out what is needed to move forward.”

 

The Head Mage slowly drifted away from Definitely Bad Guy and Sewer Bard, ending up next to the Chosen One.

 

“Being protective of their magics, they may try to test you. Do not insult them. There are none so petty as a peeved Wizard.”

 

Qube was now officially worried. This was an almost impossible mission for the Chosen One! Sewer Bard would have to do most of the talking. The Chosen One frowned at the Head Mage, and looked back at the two men the Mage was ignoring.

 

“Hey,” he said, using a book to push the Head Mage backwards. “Stop talking at me. Talk to them.”

 

Sewer Bard sighed, and walked over to the Chosen One’s side.

 

“I fear your faith in others has misled you to the nature of politics,” the Bard said, standing directly in front of the allegedly most powerful Mage at the Wizards’ Academy. “No leader will truly address another while you’re present, Noble Patron. You are simply too important for them to do so. Is that not the case, venerable elder?” he asked the Head Mage.

 

The Head Mage looked at Sewer Bard. His giant bushy eyebrows, moustache, and beard hid his expression, but he hesitated for several seconds before speaking.

 

“The pride of Wizards, and the forces they are working with, are such that it would be ill advised for others to join you in this endeavour,” he said slowly. “Only you, apprentice, and the Chosen One, should continue from this point onwards. Your companions may stay here, with me, and rest by the fire.”

 

Qube hadn’t actually noticed a fire, but there one was, merrily crackling away in the corner, surrounded by loose scrolls and several open potion bottles.

 

“I do not intend to cast aspersions on your companions,” the Head Mage added, still looking primarily at the Chosen One, but glancing frequently at Sewer Bard, “but it would simply not be wise.”

 

It seemed like Definitely Bad Guy had gotten his somewhat pompous method of speaking from the Head Mage, who must have been his mentor when he’d been at the academy. Even Qube found herself getting somewhat annoyed with how the Mage was talking. Frankly, she was astonished at the Chosen One’s patience — normally he would have tried to skip over all the talking and steal everything not nailed down.

 

Speaking of which, she noticed that the pile of ancient tomes he’d scattered all over the floor was looking distinctly smaller than it used to. Every time the Mage glanced away from him, the Hero would stuff another book into his backpack.

 

“Chosen One,” Qube hissed, despite knowing the owner of said books couldn’t hear her, “stop stealing his books!”

 

“Don’t you want to read them?” the Chosen One asked her temptingly. Qube puffed out her cheeks. That was so unfair! How dare he taunt her with potential knowledge? He knew how much she liked knowing things!

 

She fought against the power of his brilliant lure.

 

“What’s in the books?” she asked. Maybe they were full of uninteresting things! Not that it would make a difference! Stealing was stealing, and that was just wrong!

 

“I dunno,” he replied, flipping through another one and pocketing it.

 

Qube inhaled sharply. Unknown knowledge! It had the potential to be anything, or nothing! She stared at the pile of books hungrily.

 

No! She had to be strong! Stealing was wrong! She had to guide the Chosen One on his path to Goodness; she couldn’t just give in because she wanted something! Even with her newly-flexible understanding of Good vs. Evil, she couldn’t justify robbing someone just because she wanted their books!

 

Unless…

 

She cast her mind back to the Royal Library, with its plethora of books. There had been tomes upon tomes of knowledge, some useful, others not. But there’d been something else there too…

 

“Sewer Bard,” she started, great cunning in her voice, “can you please inform the Head Mage that we’ll be borrowing some of his books? For the sake of the quest, of course.”

 

She nearly chortled at her own clever thinking. Not only was she simply stating what was already happening, but now, once she’d read the books, she’d make the Chosen One give them back, and so it wasn’t actually stealing, just assertive borrowing.

 

“Uh,” Sewer Bard blinked a few times, before turning to the Head Mage. “Venerable Mage, we will be ‘borrowing’ some of your tomes for our quest, if that is agreeable to you.”

 

“Of course, of course!” the Head Mage said, stroking his beard. “Borrow whatever you need, but you won’t be able to leave this area with anything from here. There are magical wards to protect against anything other than knowledge leaving this space.”

 

“Aw, seriously?” The Chosen One shoved his hand into his backpack and pulled out a bunch of books, dropping them unceremoniously onto the floor.

 

“Chosen One!” Qube exclaimed, hurriedly gathering the books back up and putting them into her own backpack. “You can’t go throwing people’s things about just because they won’t let you steal them!”

 

“It’s no fun if he lets me take them,” the Chosen One said with an expression dangerously close to a pout. With a mercurial change of mood, he smiled at Qube. “Good thinking on the borrowing part, though. You’re really learning, aren’t you?”

 

“I’ll be able to learn even more when I’ve read through these books,” Qube said, patting her backpack as she carefully placed more volumes into it.

 

“If you wish, we can read through it together while we await the Chosen One and Definitely Bad Guy’s return,” Sewer Bard said, kneeling down to help her gather up more books.

 

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“What?” Qube stared at the Bard incredulously. “What are you talking about?”

 

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady attempted to fit herself into an armchair next to the fireplace.

 

“They’re going to go get the spell, dear,” she said, carefully inserting two of her legs into the gap between the cushion and the arms of the chair. “You heard the nice old man; it would be too dangerous for us to go.”

 

It took all of Qube’s considerable self-control not to scoff at the idea that she wouldn’t be accompanying the Chosen One into a potentially lethal situation, directly against the advice of an expert.

 

“Of course I’ll be going with him,” she said, trying not to sound condescending. “I’m his guiding light. I have to go with him. Plus, I’m invisible! So it’s not like I’ll be upsetting the pride of anyone, or getting in the way of any danger. Besides, what if he needs a Healer?”

 

“They have healing potions, my love,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, looking mildly concerned as the cushion beneath her started to shake. “They’ll be fine. Don’t worry about the boys, and come sit with Squiggles and me by the fire.”

 

Squiggles, who had somehow acquired some suspicious green stains around her mouth, had slorped over to the Hunter’s many feet, and flung herself directly onto her back, her tentacles sticking straight up in the air and her white belly just begging to be rubbed.

 

It was an idyllic scene by the fireplace, the giant arachnid with her slightly-sleepy looking childrens’ faces screaming, the armchair starting to vibrate beneath her, and the sharktopus rolling around on the ground in front of her, tentacles writhing in contentment.

 

The allure of learning and seeing new things was too strong, however. Qube just smiled at her friends, and took her rightful place by the Chosen One’s side. The Chosen One said nothing, his face almost deliberately expressionless as he looked down at her.

 

After a beat, he grinned.

 

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady asked him, exasperated. “The Head Mage said it was extremely dangerous. She doesn’t have the protection you and Definitely Bad Guy have.”

 

“You want me to influence her so she does what I want, rather than what she wants? For her own good?” the Chosen One asked the Hunter, raising an eyebrow. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady opened her mouth, then closed it. She raised a claw, as if to speak, then lowered it.

 

“I see,” she said. “I… yes, you’re right.”

 

There was silence.

 

The Chosen One nodded and turned to Definitely Bad Guy.

 

“Right, you ready for whatever we’re supposed to do?” he asked. 

 

“Go to each tower, and find out what is needed to move forward,” the Head Mage said.

 

“You already said that,” the Chosen One said. “I was asking him.”

 

“But you —”

 

The Chosen One cut off the Head Mage in a way no one else would have dared.

 

“Cuz if I can’t take anything from here then this place is kinda pointless.”

 

“I am ready to depart whenever you are,” Definitely Bad Guy said calmly as the Head Mage looked like he couldn’t decide whether or not he should be offended that his Wizard’s Tower, a centre of learning, had just been called pointless. Eventually he settled on just looking confused.

The Chosen One shot a look at Qube, who tried her best to look like a strong Healer who wouldn’t accidentally get killed by a bunch of powerful Wizards who couldn’t see her. It must have worked, since the Chosen One just laughed.

 

“All right, let’s go!” the Chosen One said then turned and walked out the Wizard’s Tower.

 

---

 

The cold was biting, but not unbearable. Honestly, Qube thought that even without their frost-resistant clothing they would have been fine. She’d tried to wear the outfit, but still hadn’t quite figured out how to change clothes.

 

Her natural suspicion towards the tailor’s strange selling practices continued to grow. Was it just a scam, to try and milk them for more money? Didn’t they know how important the Chosen One’s mission was? Honestly, the more Qube saw of the world, the more she thought that people just didn’t understand the seriousness of what they were trying to accomplish.

 

“Hey! Hey, look!” the Chosen One said. Only, because his tongue was sticking out, it came off more like “‘ey! ‘ey, ‘ooch!”

 

Qube looked around to see the hope of the people lying down in the middle of a pile of snow, sticking his tongue out in the air and trying to catch snowflakes.

 

“Ey khan aste et,” he said incomprehensibly. 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Could you repeat it?” Qube instinctively replied.

 

He caught a snowflake on his tongue and ate it.  “I said I can taste it!” he exclaimed. “It’s so cold! Not just on my tongue but my whole mouth! This is so amazing!”

 

“Yes, eating cold things will make your mouth cold,” Qube said cautiously. She cast her mind back to her childhood to see if they’d ever experienced snow before, only to catch herself short. She was remembering Felix, not the Chosen One. Who knew how the Hero had grown up.

 

“Shall we continue on our quest to save the world?” she asked the Hero.

 

“Only if you try this! You too, Sparky!” the Chosen One said, still flat on his back.

 

Which is how, on their quest to save the kingdom, Qube and Definitely Bad Guy ended up lying in the snow, catching snowflakes on their tongues.

 

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