Chapter 165: Book Three Chapter Twenty Five: Companion Rename Option

Once they’d finished giving Squiggles her reward for capturing the Golden Slime, the Chosen One carefully wiped his hands on Sewer Bard’s outfit, and watched with fascination as the fabric absorbed the liquid and instantly restored itself. For his part, the Bard put up with this indignity with surprisingly good grace, not even bothering to put on his diplomatic mask but instead just shooting the Hero a puzzled look.

 

“I like how fast it dries,” the Chosen One explained, which did nothing to clear the Bard’s confusion.

 

“While, naturally, Lady Squiggles did a fantastic job in defeating the Golden Slime, capturing it when no other could even touch it, I do wonder how we are to return our bounty for our reward,” Sewer Bard said instead of continuing to engage with the Hero.

 

“Well, they would still pay us if we gave it back in a jar, right?” the Hero asked leadingly.

 

“Presumably, yes,” Sewer Bard said, frowning as he tried to think ahead of the Chosen One. The Hero pointed at the very pleased-looking sharktopus.

 

“So we just show them Squiggles. Not our fault they don’t know how to get the slime out of her,” he said triumphantly.

 

“Oh,” Sewer Bard said, his brow instantly clearing. “Of course, thank you, Noble Patron.”

 

“Please,” the Hero said, modestly waving away the Bard, “just call me Chosen One.”

 

“Ah yes,” Sewer Bard said, a strange, almost sickly smile appearing. “We were going to discuss the topic of names, were we not?” 

 

“Oh yeah…” the Hero suddenly looked uncomfortable. “I may have, uh, may have done a not-great thing with the naming, hey?”

 

“I have always been Sexy Screamy Spider Lady,” the Hunter said with a shrug.

 

“I, too, have no memory of being known under any name other than Definitely Bad Guy,” the Mage confirmed.

 

“About that…” the Chosen One said. “Apparently the Devs gave you guys names, but when I arrived … hmm. So do you guys know what adoption is?”

 

Qube blinked, before the information flooded into her. She nodded, then looked at the rest of the party to make sure that they were following. Each of them nodded along.

 

“And how it means that your adopted parents love you just as much— wait, this is going somewhere weird,” the Chosen One said. “Anyway, right, so, when you each joined my quest to save the world, I technically adopted you all, and it gave me a chance to change your names. I don’t know why, but it did. Probably some kind of traditional holdover. It’s stupid, but there it is.”

 

“But I’ve always been known as Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, ever since I was a child,” the giant arachnid said.

 

“And you don’t think it’s weird, that they were calling an elf kid sexy? Also, you weren’t a spider, then,” the Chosen One asked her. “And you—” he pointed at Definitely Bad Guy, “why would literally anyone trust you growing up if you were called Definitely Bad Guy? I don’t know how they did it, but they have to have made you guys forget you used to have different names, otherwise the whole adopting a new name thing wouldn’t work. Adoption.”

 

Qube was still trying to grapple with the idea that her name might not have always been her name. It certainly felt like her name. She’d known that the Golden Prophecy had been controlling her behaviour, trying to guide her into being the best possible Companion she could be, but the idea of it reaching into her very memories and just… changing them, was horrifying.

 

But then this wouldn’t be the first time it had done so, would it? It had erased the name of her childhood friend, Felix, and chained her mind so she couldn’t even conceive that the Chosen One might not be the boy she’d grown up with.

 

How many of her memories were truly her own, untouched by the guiding light of the Golden Prophecy?

 

“I remember that I had a different name,” Sewer Bard said quietly. He looked at the ground as he spoke.

 

“I’ve been thinking about that,” the Hero said, “I think it’s cuz we broke your initial quest with those thief guys, coulda glitched you a bit. That and the old lady getting healed so we could bring you into that Temple you weren’t supposed to ever be in.”

 

Sometimes Qube felt like she understood all the words the Chosen One had said, but the way he used them was gibberish.

 

“The point is,” the Chosen One said, barrelling past all that, “is that when I adopted you into this party and bound you to the main quest, it changed your names, and I just gave you all names that I thought were fitting. In hindsight, not my best moment, but there we are. You’ve all got names from your … birth parents? Devs? Original names? But you’ve got additional special names that I definitely don’t regret giving to any of you at all and aren’t going to be a bit of a problem with ascending.”

 

“The way you said that last part makes me think you’re not giving us the whole story,” Qube gently called her friend a liar. “Can you please clarify what you mean by ‘a bit of a problem with ascendin’g’”

 

“Well, you’re gonna be fine,” the Hero said to Qube, not taking the slightest umbrage at or, potentially, even noticing the fact that she’d just called him out on withholding information. “Might have some pronunciation issues, but none of the higher ups are gonna get what your name means.”

 

“My name means something?” Qube asked, startled.

 

“Yeah,” the Chosen One looked slightly sheepish. “It’s, uh, the name of a famous companion back in my world. And some old technology. And… a couple of other things. Also that’s the name you came with, so we don’t have a lot of alternatives there.” 

 

Qube felt a rush of relief at the news that her name was her name. Maybe, just maybe, some of her memories were hers and hers alone. But then she thought about the others, and her heart sank.

 

“The rest of you, however, aren’t going to get taken seriously in the real— uh, in the realm of the Devs.” The Chosen One changed what he was saying hurriedly and looked a little upset at himself.

 

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“But… it’s my name,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady frowned as she struggled to take in what the Hero was telling them. “You say people won’t take my name seriously, but that’s not my problem.”

 

“No, what I’m saying is, it’s not really your name,” the Chosen One clarified. “It’s just what I called you, and the, uh, Golden Prophecy changed your memories to match? Hang on, that’s actually really messed up.”

 

“Correct,” Sewer Bard said, with a slight bite to the word. “Especially given the connotations to each of our names.”

 

“What do you propose as a solution to this?” Definitely Bad Guy said with the expression of someone who is just realising that his name is Definitely Bad Guy.

 

The Chosen One scratched his head.

 

“Well,” he said slowly. “I guess, I adopted you all, and kinda-accidentally erased your identities a little, so it’s your call? What do you guys want to do?”

 

“I wish to know my original name,” Definitely Bad Guy said without hesitation. “I also wish to know how, exactly, the Golden Prophecy modified our memories.” The other two weren’t as fast in their replies.

 

“I, too, would care to know my original name, as long as it didn’t open me up to any threat,” Sewer Bard said cautiously. “Given you don’t know why our names were taken, it would be prudent to know the reasoning before learning our original names, no?”

 

“Uh, yeah,” the Chosen One said, somewhat shiftily. “I don’t think it’s cuz of any danger to you all, or anything. Just tradition.”

 

The Bard inclined his head, indicating that he’d heard the Hero, but was not in agreement.

 

“I would still prefer to have more information than an ‘I don’t think it’ll hurt you,’” he said, his voice briefly mimicking the Chosen One’s with surprising accuracy. “In all the old sagas the heroes are generally known by title, or role, so I must assume there is a purpose behind that. There is, after all, much power in a name.”

 

The Chosen One grimaced, but let it be.

 

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady shrugged all of her shoulders.

 

“Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me,” she said carelessly. “A name given to me by my parents, or the Devs, or you, they’re all just things I was called, not who I am. If you say it’ll cause problems in the Devs’ realm to be known by my current name, then change it.” Her thoughts seemed to turn inwards. “Or perhaps I can choose a name for myself,” she said quietly. “And if they have a problem with that, well, then they just have a problem with me, and that’s their issue to deal with.”

 

Sewer Bard looked at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady with a mixture of admiration and concern.

 

“My fair beauty,” he said, frowning slightly, “I would not so easily dismiss the opinions of the Devs out of hand. They are immensely powerful, and shouldn’t be treated lightly.”

 

“If they’re so powerful, why would they care about my name?” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady asked. “Either they’re so much more powerful than me that my name means nothing to them, or we’re close enough in strength that they let something as petty as my name bother them, in which case they’re not really that powerful.”

 

Sewer Bard ruefully shook his head.

 

“My dear, it’s obvious that your parents are true and just rulers,” he said. “But there exist people who wield tremendous power over others, but still concern themselves with things one would think far beneath them.”

 

“Of this, we are in agreement,” Definitely Bad Guy said with heavy meaning. Qube, remembering the pettiness of Dev Dan-the-man, nodded. The Hunter tossed back her hair, and gave them all a fang-filled smile.

 

“If they invite me to ascend to their realm, and help them with their problems, then turn around and have a problem with my name, then I have no interest in being accepted by them,” she said savagely. “If they choose to do something about it, then let them. I refuse to waste any more of my life trying to contort myself into something I’m not just to please others.”

 

This felt like blasphemy. Qube laced her fingers into her robe and shivered, looking at the giant arachnid that towered over the party, unsure of whether the fluttering in her chest was fear for what might happen to the Hunter who had just challenged the Devs, or excitement. The thought of Sexy Screamy Spider Lady going toe-to-claw with an Evil Dev like Dan made the fluttering sensation grow until Qube was practically vibrating with emotion.

 

The Hero had crossed his arms and was nodding his head supportively at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, Squiggles had caught on that something was happening and had climbed up onto the back of her abdomen and was waving some tentacles about, and Definitely Bad Guy was looking extremely unimpressed at the wisdom of attempting to call out the Devs, while Sewer Bard…

 

He was looking at the Hunter with an expression that it took Qube a few moments to place, so rarely had she seen it on his face.

 

He was looking at her with respect.

 

“While I have not your bravery to openly defy the Devs in such a manner, as well as being desirous of completing the half-finished memory of my former self, I must commend your courage, fiercest of maidens,” he said, bowing as low as Qube had ever seen him go. She was amazed his nose didn’t touch the ground. “I will support you in your defiance, in whatever small way a humble Bard can.”

 

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady (seriously, how had Qube never thought about how her name fit her too perfectly before) showed every inch of her Royal lineage as she graciously tilted her head at the Bard, for all the world like a Queen accepting the pledge of a Knight. It was all so beautiful that it wasn’t until the Chosen One started applauding and whistling that two thoughts occurred to Qube.

 

One: why did they think that having their own identities was defying the Devs?

 

And two: what had Sewer Bard meant by not having the bravery to openly defy the Devs?

 

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