Chapter 20: Chapter Twenty: Returning to Hub

The journey to Cobbletown was surprisingly uneventful. Qube had expected some wild animals or something to try and attack them, but instead the entire trip was the three of them running after the Chosen One, who spent the entire time forward rolling. When she asked why, he claimed that this way “felt faster”. 

 

Qube had serious doubts about the relative speed of running versus rolling around on the ground, but she didn’t feel up to debating it. Instead she was busy trying to ignore Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, and planning on how she would go about finding a powerful Mage to end her curse so she could tell people to shut up.

 

“My dear, I could watch you run all day and night.” Sewer Bard was telling Sexy Screamy Spider Lady as the spire of the castle came into view.

 

“Oh, don’t worry, I can definitely go all day and night.” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady responded in a breathy voice, her four legs pumping as she scuttled. A few of her children’s faces had started to sweat, but she seemed otherwise fine.

 

The pair of them had been going at it for hours. Somehow, they hadn’t repeated themselves yet. Qube would have been impressed, if she hadn’t just wanted them to be quiet for a single minute so she could brood over the whole Dryad Queen/choosing quests business.

 

The Chosen One abruptly stopped rolling and jumped to his feet as soon as they reached the entrance to Cobbletown.

 

“Oh hey, we’re here!” He said, as if they hadn’t spent the last several hours traveling to this destination.

 

He breezed past the town guards, who started trying to greet him, and immediately headed towards the inn. It was only when they passed Mr Igma’s shop that he paused briefly. He opened the shop door, and over his shoulder Qube saw Mr Igma glaring at him from behind his counter. Somehow, in the few days they were gone, Mr Igma had managed to fully restock his entire store.

 

...Wait a minute. Had Mr Igma even been able to see her last time they were there? Or had he thought that the Chosen One had telekinetic powers? Qube eyed the Chosen One suspiciously.

 

“Time to sell all this dungeon trash.” The Chosen One said cheerfully. Mr Igma’s frown deepened.

 

“Chosen One, could you perhaps ask Mr Igma if there are any powerful Mages here?” Qube politely requested before the Hero actually entered the store. Experience had taught her that once the Chosen One started shopping, it would take hours for them to move on.

 

“Sure,” the Chosen One said, and Qube gave a sigh of relief. “As soon as we finish shopping.”

 

Qube groaned.

 

It took over an hour for them to finish with Mr Igma’s shop, not least because of Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. It would have been a tight fit with four humanoids, but as soon as she squeezed her form into the shop, her limbs and abdomen sprang out from her body and knocked everything off the shelves, causing them to ping around the room like marbles, hitting Mr Igma in the face.

 

Mr Igma had then started yelling at the Chosen One about “throwing things about”, and threatening to blow up the entire shop, and only stopped when the Chosen One had ordered Qube to pick up everything and put it all in her bag. After that fiasco, the Chosen One hurriedly ushered them outside.

 

“Okay, anyone hurt?” He asked the group as they stood on the cobblestone street.

 

“‘Tis but a scratch, Noble Patron.” Sewer Bard said. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was sulking, her arms crossed under her thorax, her fangs clicking in displeasure.

 

“He dares yell at our glorious leader?” She said, her children’s faces scowling. “And accuse him of being so petty as to throw around his tacky items?” Qube felt herself warm to Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. Being brave enough to be cross at Mr Igma took a lot of guts! And that she would stand up to him on the Chosen One’s behalf spoke well of her loyalty to the side of Good.

 

“As if I would ever associate with someone so vulgar as to throw around some shopkeeper’s wares!” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady sniffed, which mostly consisted of tiny slits in her abdomen sucking in air in sync with the children’s noses moving. “He must have been jealous of my-our-Hero, for having such a beautiful companion.” She ran a claw down the side of her body.

 

“Beautiful companions.” Sewer Bard said, looking soulfully at where he thought Qube might be. “Do not forget our unseen but not unloved Healer, my Lady.”

 

“If she’s invisible, then he can’t be jealous of her.” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady pointed out. She wriggled her shoulder joints. “I am looking forward to meeting her though, you’ve quite whetted my appetite to have a little girl time with her.”

 

Qube was suddenly very glad to still be invisible, so she didn’t have to keep a pleasant expression on her face. It was only when the Chosen One started laughing that she remembered he could still see her.

 

“What does she say, Noble Patron?” Sewer Bard asked the Chosen One, slightly concerned.

 

“Don’t answer that!” Qube snapped at the Chosen One. “Also, didn’t Sexy Screamy Spider Lady see me in the Forbidden Forest Temple?” The Chosen One ignored her.

 

“I fear she has begged me not to relay her words to you.” He said solemnly to Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. “No doubt her maidenly virtue shrinks from it.” Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady looked to the Chosen One’s left, intrigued.

 

“What? No! That’s not what I meant!” Qube spluttered. “Why would you say it like that? Why did you put on such a weird voice when you said that?”

 

The Chosen One smirked at her, before raising his hands.

 

“Come, my companions!” He said, still in an overly dramatic voice, “Let us go speak to our royals in exile, and see what nonsense they have in store for us!”

 

“Hey, you still need to correct them! They still have the wrong idea about me! Also, the Exiled Prince and Princess are in hiding, I don’t think you should be announcing their presence in public. Chosen One? Chosen One!” Qube shouted after the Chosen One as he sauntered towards the inn.

 

The Chosen One threw open the inn door as Qube, Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady caught up to him.

 

---

 

The inn hadn’t changed a bit since they had last been there. The same patrons were sitting in the same places, the bartender was polishing the same glass, even the candles were exactly as they left them. Qube barely had time to process all this before the Chosen One barrelled up the stairs at full speed. She ran after him, not even pausing as she heard various tables, chairs and crockery being flung around the place as Sexy Screamy Spider Lady squeezed inside.

 

This time she wouldn’t allow herself to be overcome by the royal presence. This time she would remain by the Chosen One’s side. She would be strong!

The Chosen One flung open the door at the top of the stairs, ran into the room, and instantly jumped on top of the table.

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“Hey, got the first gem.” He said casually, as the plates he had kicked smashed into the walls.

 

Qube entered the room just in time to see the Exiled Prince and Princess staring at the Chosen One in total shock.

 

The siblings recovered their senses at the exact same time.

 

“Chosen One! Thank all that is right in the world that you have returned! I was so worried about you!” The Princess, wearing the exact same poofy sparkly dress as she had last time (how did she even manage to fit that under her cloak so well, Qube wondered), clasped her hands on her chest and breathed heavily.

 

“Huh. Looks like you’re not so useless after all.” The Prince said, jerking his neck to flick his hair off of his forehead in a move that looked remarkably painful.

 

“Fire Temple next, right? Where is that?” The Chosen One started absent-mindedly plucking the replaced candles out of the chandelier. 

 

Qube pointedly cleared her throat.

 

“Oh and we need a powerful Mage. To,” the Chosen One hesitated for a second, “remove a curse.”

 

“Oh! You were cursed by that wicked, unnatural Beast at the Forbidden Forest? How awful!” The Princess asked, her voice squeaking and her chest heaving like she was having a panic attack.

 

The Prince gripped the hilt of his sword. “It was probably that tyrant, Mother Gothel.” He looked at the Chosen One, his jaw set. “Did she curse you?” He seemed to recollect himself. “Huh, you must be pretty weak to succumb to her curse.” He did the strange head flick thing again. Qube was pretty sure he was going to strain his neck if he kept doing that.

 

“It is only right for the Dryad Queen to rule over her subjects! There must be law and order!” The Princess said, puffing out her cheeks. “For a Beast to strike out again his maker and ruler is chaos!”

 

“Chaos indeed, sister.” The Prince sneered. “And chaos is needed to fight back against those who would use their power to rule only by their own desires.”

 

The Chosen One, having cleared the table and the chandelier, was busy pulling out all the books in the bookshelves, opening them, flicking through them far too rapidly to have read them, and then closing them and putting them in his backpack.

 

From the open doorway, Qube could hear the Sewer Bard trying to get past Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and up the stairs. From the sounds of things, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady had gotten stuck in the stairway, and was now hitting on everyone who came within range.

 

This meant that Qube was the only person who noticed the strange pause between the Exiled Prince and Princess, and the rapid change in their facial expressions. Both of them suddenly looked at the Chosen One (who was ignoring them) with much friendlier expressions.

 

“Given you helped the Dryad Queen regain her heart, I believe you will now be allowed to purchase items at the royal gardens.” The Princess said to the Chosen One’s back.

 

“Given you helped the Beast return to his true form, I believe you will now be allowed to purchase items at the royal bestiary.” The Prince said, in the exact same tone of voice.

 

Qube stared at the royals in confusion. How did they know that? Was it some kind of psychic connection between royalty that they could tell when the Dryad Queen was back to her ‘normal’ self? Or was the Beast connected to the Prince in some way? Was there someone in the Forbidden Forest who had just sent them some kind of message? Qube had heard about powerful magical users being able to send long distance letters directly to each other, but never this kind of direct mental link. 

 

Also how did helping the Dryad Queen or the Beast have anything to do with the royal garden or bestiary? Weren’t these two in exile? How did they have the authority to order that? Why would they have waited until they helped some random people unconnected to them before letting them buy items from various places? They were fighting to save their entire kingdom! Also why would any shopkeeper have denied them before that? The Chosen One was literally the Golden Prophecy’s Chosen One, why would they turn him down? Why would they turn anyone down, their business was selling things!

 

“Take this token, and you will be able to access the royal gardens.” The Princess said, handing out a medallion.

 

“Take this token, and you will be able to access the royal bestiary.” The Prince said, handing out a medallion.

 

Qube frowned. Were they maybe twins? That might explain some of their strange behaviour. Instantly she stiffened. Not that she meant to call the rightful heirs to the throne strange! Or imply that they were weird in any way! Even if they were! Which they weren’t!

 

She stood frozen for a few more seconds then, when nothing happened, relaxed.

 

All right. So the royals didn’t have mind reading powers. So they must have had some other way of knowing what had occurred in the Forbidden Forest. No doubt she would be able to ask them about it once she had been freed of her invisibility curse.

 

Speaking of which…

 

The Chosen One grabbed the two medallions by waving his hands vaguely at them. “Fire Temple?” He said to them.

 

“It is located just north of here.” The Princess said. “I have marked it on your map. Please be careful, Chosen One!”

 

The Chosen One didn’t have a map. Nor had the Princess written anything. Qube eyed her suspiciously.

 

“All right, bye.” The Chosen One turned to leave the room.

 

“Chosen One!” Qube said, exasperated. “The Mage!”

 

The Chosen One grinned at her, mischief dancing in his eyes. “Why thank you, Companion, I had totally forgotten!” Qube glared at him, not believing this obvious lie for a second.

 

“So yeah, any powerful Mages around?” He asked the royals, as Qube waited with baited breath.

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