Chapter 31: Chapter Thirty One: Volcano Reward Dispense

The Chosen One drove his Sacred Sword into the fell beast’s head. By now, Qube was no longer surprised that this metal sword actually injured a creature made of rock and flame. Yes, theoretically, it should have had about as much impact as punching a boulder, but this was magic, and so didn’t need to make any sense. The creature jumped into the air, uncurling from its ball of destruction and lying on its back, exposing its belly. In the middle there, was a strangely red looking patch, like magma had concentrated there. It reminded Qube of the big red spot on the Boss’s butt in the Forest Temple. Maybe a sign of being a boss? Had they been killing more employees?

 

The Chosen One, who had leapt free of the maybe-boss, immediately jumped onto its stomach and drove his sword into the glowing spot. The beast screamed, boiling air scalding the group. It bucked, dislodging the Chosen One, before curling back up into a ball and continuing its rampage through the room and walls.

 

And that, oddly enough, was that. Once Qube had the trick of it, and could locate the beast, it was easy enough to move everyone out of the trail. Sure, first they had to fish Definitely Bad Guy out of the magma, and Qube had to burn another spell on fixing him, but his Fireproof clothing appeared to have stopped him from taking any real damage. Even on the parts not covered, like his face and hands.

 

Once they got the chance, Qube was really going to have to investigate how this Fireproof clothing worked. Perhaps it gave off some kind of Fireproof shield, like her [Lesser Shield] spell, rather than a direct application of some kind of anti-fire gel that protected only the clothes?

 

But back to their fight to the death. Having gotten the rhythm down, Qube found the killing of this terrifying creature, wrought of pure magic and hate, almost… tedious. She’d swing the metal box, it would squeal, they’d all move out of the way, the reptile would burst from the wall, Chosen One would jump on it and attack, then stab its stomach. It didn’t even really appear to be making much difference — sure, the beast screamed, but it didn’t slow down or even change how it moved.

 

In fact, Qube was starting to wonder if they were having any impact at all when the beast suddenly keeled over and died. After lying on the ground for a second, it dissolved into the same three pedestals that had been inside the giant spider boss.

 

Qube stared at the pedestals.

 

Same as with the Forbidden Forest’s giant spider, the three pedestals had different symbols on them. The potion vial, the carrot and the sword. The only difference was that, rather than rich-looking wood, the pedestals were made of blackened rock, with veins of red running through them. 

 

The death pedestals were themed. The… the innards of these sentient creatures matched the room around them. Why did pedestals appear? Qube had long since resigned herself to the fact that coins and items were hidden within all living creatures, released only upon their deaths, but the fact that these clearly very powerful pedestals were inside not just one, but two giant creatures, raised multiple questions. 

 

For example: the inscribing of spells or abilities took a terrifying amount of mana. Who had inscribed these? Was it the same person who had filled the massive treasure chests? Qube understood the need for special containers for magical items, but why were there items needed to help kill the bosses? Were they left there by disgruntled former employees? Or ones who didn’t have the strength to leave, but wanted someone to kill their boss?

 

Or perhaps it was by the same people who created the too-simple-to-be-a-genuine block and too-complicated-to-be-a-natural-pathway?

 

Actually, now Qube thought about it, several of those rooms had required radically changing said rooms in order to progress. Did this mean that every group who wanted to visit the Lava Slimes had to set fire to the well? Who was refilling the flammable liquid? Was that left over from when dragons had lived in the volcano? Was it the volcano itself—

 

Qube felt like a torch had suddenly lit within her mind.

 

Of course. Everyone knew that if you exposed something to enough magic, it would eventually begin to absorb the properties of it. You could force the mana into it, such as when you enchanted something, or inscribe it upon the item, but even throwing around a lot of magic in a confined space could lead to said space becoming very strange indeed. And both the volcano and the giant tree had been home to several large-scale works of magic. The giant tree in the Forbidden Forest had been cursed, and surrounded by cursed beings, and the volcano had been the home to dragons, who were inherently magical...

 

It was entirely possible that the Temples themselves were using mana.

 

Qube almost staggered from the implications of this thought. Did this mean that the Temples were sentient, in much the same way that things like Sacred Swords were known to only allow the worthy to wield them? Was this what the strange rooms had been about? Tests, to make sure that only the worthy would reach the heart of the Temples?

 

How did a Temple judge the worthiness of a person? Why did a Temple judge the worthiness of a person? The Forbidden Forest had held a portal to that wolf beast creature, but perhaps it was the pedestals themselves that the Temples were protecting? Or, perhaps, once they touched the pedestals, another portal would open up and take them to the True Fire/First Breath?

 

There was nothing Qube wanted to do more than sit down and figure out what this meant. If she could crack the code on this, why, she could write a whole book on it and put it in Cobbletown’s library! And back in the village, too! Her books could join Alderman’s works! Maybe she could write a book on each Temple! She wasn’t sure she had it in her to fill a whole three pages of a thick tome, but it could be her life’s work!

 

It could be what she did after they saved the world. Something she, and only she, would be known for.

 

---

 

“Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, you touch the carrot one,” the Chosen One said, standing in front of the sword pedestal. He turned and looked at Definitely Bad Guy and Qube. He seemed to weigh them both up.

 

“You,” he said, pointing at Definitely Bad Guy, “you’re a bit underpowered. And your fire stuff will be useless at the Water Temple. Let’s see if this makes you actually helpful.”

 

Definitely Bad Guy, the most powerful mage in the land (supposedly), advisor to the Evil Emperor (even though he was secretly working for the side of Good), and noted scholar, glared at the Saviour of All Human and Human Adjacent beings.

 

“I command the greatest forces known,” he sneered, “including innumerable curses. As everyone knows, water is particularly vulnerable to curses.”

 

The Chosen One rolled his eyes.

 

“Whatever with this sub-elemental [stuff],” he said, his voice distorting weirdly on the last word. “The point is, fire no good against water, water temple next, you take spell, hopefully learn zap zap.”

 

The party looked at the Chosen One, each mildly concerned that their Great Hope had taken one too many blows to the head in the battle. The Chosen One rubbed his face, suddenly looking tired.

 

“This took way longer than I thought it would,” he said, “and I still have reports to do.” He glanced at Qube, then quickly looked back at the rest of the group.

 

Who was he reporting to? Qube wondered. Was it the Golden Prophecy itself? Did it require updates on the situations? She would have to ask him about it tomorrow.

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“Here, I still have a [Lesser Heal],” she said, her silvery mana washing over him, designed to soothe any remaining aches and alleviate any exhaustion. He gave her a crooked smile.

 

“Thanks, but that won’t help. I’ll take a break once we reach a Save Point.” The Chosen One gestured for Definitely Bad Guy and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady to stand in front of their assigned pedestals.

 

Qube felt a frisson of fear at the mention of a Save Point. Hopefully it had just been some strange magic, put out by that beast of rock and flame. 

 

“Okay, on the count of three, put your hands on the pedestals,” the Chosen One said. Qube opened her mouth. “Which means when I say the word three, you touch it,” the Chosen One hurriedly added. Qube closed her mouth.

 

“One, two, three!” the Chosen One said, and there were three flashes of light as The Chosen One, Definitely Bad Guy, and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady were infused with magical power.

 

---

 

The mana swirling around the Chosen One was the normal magical gold, and Qube wasn’t surprised to see that Definitely Bad Guy’s mana was a brilliant red, but the earthy brown colour that enveloped Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was unexpected. Come to think of it, she had never seen Sexy Screamy Spider Lady use any mana — Hunter abilities were less pure mana manipulation and more… connection to the self and the world around them.

 

It was also the exact same shade as her spider-fuzz and her regular outfit, impressing Qube with Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s level of colour coordination. Given Qube hadn’t quite figured out how to change clothes yet, she was mildly envious of the Wood Elf’s skills.

 

The Chosen One rolled his shoulders as the golden glow around him subsided. Qube internally cringed as he looked around the group. Surely he wasn’t going to—

 

“I got [Shield Bash],” the Chosen One boldly announced to the entire room. “What did you two get?”

 

The children’s faces stitched onto Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s body blanched, their various eyes darting around as she shifted on her four legs.

 

“That’s a very personal question to ask a lady,” she said huskily. “I didn’t know you were ready for such intimate details.” She batted all eight of her eyes at him. “But I’m more than happy to take our relationship to the next level. You might even say I’m very excited to do so.” 

 

The Chosen One closed his eyes. At first Qube thought he was just blinking slowly, before she noticed his fingers were twitching slightly.

 

“We discussed this,” he said with a sigh of resignation. “There needs to be some kind of harassment filter we can add.” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady pouted, popping her abdomen to the side and raising a claw to her fang-filled mouth.

 

“Sorry~ Chosen One,” she sing-songed, “I got [Double Shot]. It’ll let me shoot two arrows at once.” 

 

It was impossible to tell, what with her face being that of a giant spider that sometimes drooled venom, but Qube got the distinct impression that Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was somehow finding a way to blush. Not that she blamed her; being pressured to make such a statement in front of everyone would be enough to make anyone shy! Qube was almost glad that she hadn’t had to step up to the pedestal and receive another spell — almost no spell would be worth the embarrassment of having to—

 

“I got [Curse Person],” Definitely Bad Guy announced casually. “I can curse anyone with various non-lethal ailments. Just to generally punish and make them miserable.”

 

Qube’s hold on the metal box tightened until it creaked in protest.

 

“You got… the ability to curse people?” she asked in a very calm, even tone. “That was what… was inscribed on the pedestal?”

 

Definitely Bad Guy, being one of the most intelligent people in the world, picked up on the fact that Qube was mildly upset.

 

“Do not worry,” he reassured her. “I would never use it on you. I will only use it to protect you. It also appears to have increased my pool of mana.” The metal box started to buckle in her grip. The Chosen One reached over and gently pulled the magical artifact out of his Childhood Companion’s hands before she destroyed it.

 

“That’s… great!” Qube said brightly, “I’m so happy that you got the ability to curse people! Because I am a Healer! And I would never harm others.”

 

She stared at Definitely Bad Guy for far too long.

 

“But maybe you should teach me,” she said eventually. “Just so I can know when someone is casting it.”

 

“I do not think you would need—”

 

Qube’s Cheerful Companion Smile increased. Definitely Bad Guy winced.

 

“Don’t worry,” she said, her eyes glistening. “It will be fun. Yes. And educational. So I can be a better Companion. Yes. That is why I want to know. Teehee.”

 

And, by the oddly non-directional light of the lava, her smile grew.

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