Qube blinked at the Chosen One.
“Oh, I had a strange dream last night where you wanted to ask Sexy Screamy Spider Lady how she saw herself,” Qube explained. “It seemed an interesting question, so I thought I would ask her.”
The Chosen One was silent for so long that Qube started to worry that she’d said something strange. Was it weird that she’d admitted to having a dream about the Chosen One and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady? But from what she’d gathered it was normal to dream about things in your day-to-day life. At this point it would be odd if she didn’t dream about them.
Granted, she didn’t have a lot of experience in remembering dreams etiquette, so there might be something she was missing.
“Is this the first dream you’ve had?” the Chosen One asked her. He seemed almost … reluctant.
“I had those visions back at the Fire Temple, but I’ve never remembered my dreams before,” Qube explained. The Chosen One was starting to look a little pale.
“What else do you remember from the dream?” he asked roughly.
Qube closed her eyes as she tried to remember everything that had happened in her dream last night. The Chosen One… he’d been upset with her. She hadn’t been doing something right. He’d be asking her strange questions, then brushing over her responses like he wanted it all over and done with. Like even asking them was making him uncomfortable in some way she couldn’t define.
She cringed away from the memory of disappointing him.
“Just that,” she lied. He looked at her for so long that she felt herself starting to sweat. Could he tell?
The Chosen One looked up at the sky. “I just wanted to play,” he complained to the blue expanse.
“We’ll deal with this later,” he said to Qube. Qube tried to project an aura of normality, and cool, calm, collectedness. ”After I do this stupid report,” the Chosen One grumbled to himself, now looking thoughtfully back at Qube. “This is so far out of my depth. I’ve heard of things carrying over from saves but something like this… Hopefully they’ll have some answers. Urgh, do I even want to know the answers though? This whole thing is a nightmare. Never should have asked those stupid questions. Whatever. Deal with it later.”
The not-scarecrow activated again.
“All travelers are welcome at the Construct Crossways. But firstly: In order for the doors to move, you yourself you must prove!”
The Chosen One stopped staring at Qube to glare at the not-scarecrow.
“Puzzles?” he said scornfully, “Really?”
“Our humble home prides itself on its intellectual inhabitants. The riddle is this: If you wish to open the gate, you must first pull your weight!” A tiny cog in the not-scarecrow’s cheek whirled, winching its mouth up into a smile.
Was this the report as to whether or not she could continue being his Companion? Qube practically vibrated with tension. But wasn’t that just a dream? Maybe it had been a vision of future troubles?
“Someone please tell this… person, that I — I mean we — are more than ready to prove ourselves to anyone or anything!” Qube loudly declared. The other party members all looked at her in shock at her sudden assertiveness (granted, Sewer Bard looked slightly to the left of her, but he was definitely getting more accurate), before Sexy Screamy Spider Lady gave a fang-filled smile.
“Looks like our little Healer girl is becoming a Healer woman,” she practically purred. She scuttled up to Qube’s side and slipped two of her arms around her waist. “Is that why you were asking how I saw myself? Don’t worry, sweetpea, I’ll teach you all about how you can present yourself. It would be my pleasure.”
Qube was not entirely sure that this was what her dream version of the Chosen One had meant by his question. Speaking of which — she noticed that the Chosen One had stepped away from the group, and was circling around the not-scarecrow, edging towards the large metal doors that led into the village.
Curious, Qube side-stepped out of Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s embrace and approached him. The not-scarecrow pivoted on its heel to continue watching the Chosen One.
“What is it, Chosen One?” Qube asked. The Chosen One was examining a strange mosaic attached to the giant metal door. It had several different little tiles, with some kind of jumbled pattern on them, and a single space free of anything. It looked like a tile could slide into that empty space quite easily. The Hero looked at the metal humanoid behind them.
“Hey, rust bucket, is this your stupid puzzle?”
“I see you have solved my first riddle!” the greeter said cheerfully. “Now for the second riddle! How will you -”
The Chosen One punched the mosaic.
The not-scarecrow paused for a second, then continued.
“- great cunning will be needed - “
The Chosen One punched the panel again.
“- this fiendishly clever puzzle (that I have guarded for all my existence) —”
The Chosen One drew his Sacred Sword.
“I hate puzzles,” he said to Qube, before plunging his sword into the mosaic.
“[Lesser Shield]!” Qube cried, expecting some kind of explosion to happen.
Instead, the Chosen One’s Sacred Sword bounced off the puzzle with a “bonk” sound. The Chosen One, being the Saviour of All Human and Human-Adjacent Beings, did not pout. But he did look decidedly unhappy.
“I was really hoping that would work,” he said sulkily. He stared at the puzzle for a bit, no doubt thinking intensely about to solve it.
“Once you have completed my riddle, return to me with proof! Or the learned locals shall take you for a goof,” the not-scarecrow said from its post. Qube looked at the not-scarecrow. They had taken maybe five steps from the metal construct. It could clearly see them. Obviously it had conflated being pedantic with being intelligent, Qube thought with a mental snort.
Suddenly she became aware that the Chosen One was looking at her again, a fiendish smile slowly growing on his face.
“Hey,” the Chosen One said, in a deceptively casual tone. Qube instinctively cringed in anticipation. “Can you solve this puzzle?”
Qube looked at the Chosen One, to the puzzle, then to the not-scarecrow.
“Of course!” she said brightly. “I would be glad to help guide you through this difficulty!”
“Excellent!” the Chosen One said. “Go nuts.”
What did he want her to do with nuts? Were nuts the clue to this puzzle? Had the Chosen One already solved it? Qube, trembling slightly, went and examined the puzzle.
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There were small tiles. Some were blue. Some were green. Some were red.
Qube stared at the tiles. She felt like the gazes of everyone behind her were burning holes in the back of her head.
She could do this. She was supposed to be a guiding light. The Chosen One wouldn’t ask her to do this if he didn’t believe in her. Her whole life had been about always knowing all the answers to any questions. Questions such as why would they use a puzzle to lock a gate? Surely there were more efficient ways of judging someone’s intelligence.
After five minutes she heard the Chosen One sigh, and the sound of him taking a step backwards.
Oh no. He was getting impatient. Quick, she had to do something! Qube reached out and touched one of the tiles. She felt like something inside of her was straining, like it was trying to break free. It was similar to when she had managed to figure out how to get Sexy Screamy Spider Lady to see her. It wasn’t the same vice-like pain as when she tried to go against the Golden Prophecy, but it was still… uncomfortable.
She tried scratching one of the tiles. Nothing. She tried prying it out. Still nothing. Her breathing quickened as her options failed one by one. Push it. Twist it. Tap it. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
The pressure inside of her was building. This was the first time, the first puzzle she had ever been given. She had to succeed.
“Okay, well, that didn’t work,” she heard the Chosen One say behind her.
And then she slid one of the tiles into the open space, and it was like a door had unlocked within her mind. Of course! It was a picture that had been cut into tiles and needed to be rearranged back into its original image!
As soon as she finished that thought she saw the optimal path and instantly rearranged the puzzle. It clicked open and revealed a tiny white tile sitting in a cavity behind the puzzle.
“Done!” she cried as she turned and looked for the Chosen One. “Chosen One?” The only person around was the Construct Crossroads greeter. “Sexy Screamy Spider Lady? Definitely Bad Guy? ...Sewer Bard?”
“Think fast,” came a voice from up ahead, before a jam jar fell to the ground next to Qube.
“[Lesser Shield]!” Qube reflexively shouted, jumping back. Her head snapped up to where the jam jar had come from only to see…
Well, she wasn’t quite sure what she was seeing. A lot of legs, for starters. And a lot of —
“Crossbow bolts?” Qube blinked rapidly, as she tried to comprehend what was above her. The Chosen One (and the rest of the party) were standing on crossbow bolts? That somehow had been placed on top of one another? But only the Chosen One was actually standing on the crossbow bolt itself, the other three were standing below and to the side of him, where they would normally gather while he was talking to someone. Always three steps behind.
Only this time they were standing in thin air.
It made no sense. It made no sense. For a second she hesitated, the strange sensation that had arisen when she solved the puzzle now surging through her.
This was just another puzzle. She just needed to find the sliding tile in this equation. Step one: gather data.
“Chosen One, where did you get the crossbow bolts from?”
“Sexy Screamy Spider Lady,” the Chosen One replied nonchalantly.
“Why did you drop a jam jar next to me?”
“I was trying to see if other items floated. Turns out most have gravity.”
“Why are you up there?”
“I’m building a ladder.”
Qube tried to think of any other questions that needed answering.
“Where are you building a ladder to?”
“Over the wall.”
Right. Data gathering complete. Time to collate it into useful information.
Clearly the crossbow bolts were related to the sky hole that the Chosen One had managed to get her stuck in back in the village, all those days ago. Or was it weeks? Time was difficult to track, away from the routine of village life.
Given these crossbow bolts had come from Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s quiver, which Qube had noted never seemed to run out, it made total sense that said bolts would be magical in some way. Possibly related to Hunter magic. Quince, the Hunter back in the village, may have even had something to do with the sky magic.
For the first time Qube found herself wondering what the Evil Emperor had been doing, miming all that strange stuff when he had been talking to the Chosen One. Why had he —
“[Follow],” the Chosen One said, and Qube found herself climbing up the ladder of crossbow bolts, up into the sky.
“Come on,” the Chosen One said, as he started dropping crossbow bolts in a path towards the top of the metal and stone wall encircling Construct Crossroad. Qube, steeling herself, looked down to see the not-scarecrow watching the Chosen One, its golden eyes unerringly following his path.
Qube really, really hoped that this was another puzzle, as she hadn’t actually given the white tile to the not-scarecrow, and so technically they may not actually have been allowed inside the place yet.
Or maybe they would just think they were goofs? Come to think of it, the riddle had spoken about opening the gate, specifically. It hadn’t said anything about them not being allowed in without solving it. In fact, if this was a town full of smart people, they would probably appreciate the fact that the Chosen One had come up with such a clever solution!
Trust the Chosen One to exceed all expectations!
As they somehow sky-walked towards the top of the walls, Qube found herself nearly quivering in anticipation. If the Chosen One had figured out how to use Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s crossbow bolts to get to anywhere he wanted; the possibilities were nearly endless! Why, they could even use them to avoid any platforms! Qube would never need to set foot on another platform again!
“And here we are,” the Chosen One said as he stepped onto the top of Construct Crossway’s wall. Qube hopped off the air next to him, and stared out into the exciting new city they had snuck their way into...
...Only to behold a nightmare city. The tops of the buildings she had seen were wondrous, true, but they connected down into strange, warped streets, devoid of any sign of life. It was as if someone had clumsily sculpted the town out of clay, then wandered off before they could finish.
As Qube stared at the shell of a town, she heard the other party members jitter to a stop on the space next to her. Sewer Bard was frowning as he surveyed the emptiness before them, but Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and Definitely Bad Guy seemed almost indifferent to the strangeness of a ghost town guarded by a riddle-dispensing construct.
“Well,” the Chosen One said, grinning at Qube in excitement, “shall we explore?”
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