Chapter 45: Chapter Forty Five: Mass Hand In

Glad that the Chosen One had been so ready to accept her guidance, Qube hardly minded all the shopping he still made them do. This shopping, in accordance with her wishes, was conducted the traditional way, with the Chosen One pulling items out of everyone’s backpacks and attempting to haggle with various shopkeepers. Quite why he felt the need to haggle so hard when they had enough gold coins to fund a large army, Qube wasn’t entirely sure, but she nevertheless applauded his prudence. Sewer Bard had sung several sagas about heroes who met sticky ends on “one last quest,” and money certainly seemed to be a motivating factor in many of the songs.

 

It wasn’t until they got to the tailor for some waterproof clothing that she remembered her misgivings the last time they’d been there.

 

“Welcome!” the tailor said, a truly excessive number of pins sticking out of their clothing. “I see you have cleared the Fire Temple. Excellent, excellent, may I interest you in some exclusive outfits for you and your compatriots? Specially designed, they’ll stop you from floating away and keep you from getting waterlogged. They’ll also give you the ability to breathe underwater for a short amount of time. Very powerful magic, not something I would dream of offering to just anyone, you understand?”

 

“Chosen One, that tailor has very large windows,” she said discreetly. “And their business practice makes no sense.” The Chosen One seemed unmoved by her logic. “Also, how do they know we have ‘cleared’ the Fire Temple? We haven’t told anyone!” Qube pondered for a second. “Although, I suppose people could see the changes to the volcano from quite a distance,” she conceded. “Fine, I withdraw that one. But still! Why would they have —”

 

“I’ll take five,” the Chosen One said to the tailor, who instantly handed him a single set of blue clothing.

 

“That’ll be five hundred gold,” the tailor chirruped.

 

“What?”

 

---

 

“You did the right thing, Chosen One,” Qube reassured the Hero as the party sat around a table inside Cobbletown’s only inn.

 

“Sure,” the Chosen One said glumly, staring into his mug of frothy juice. He sipped it and grimaced. “Man, that doesn’t taste right.” Having said so, he tipped the mug of juice upside down and carefully watched it spill all over the table.

 

“Chosen One!” Qube exclaimed as the party scrambled to get away from the mini tidal wave of juice.

 

“Nice,” the Chosen One said, poking at the sticky substance slowly dripping off the edge of the table. “They really aced their liquids.”

 

Qube buried her face into her hands.

 

“Chosen One, please don’t take your anger out on the inn,” she begged. The Chosen One sighed as the juice evaporated out of existence.

 

“Sure, sure,” he said, standing and stretching. “Okay, I’m gonna go hand in our mission to the Wonder Twins.” The whole party made to follow him. The Chosen One held up a hand. “You lot should probably stay down here.”

 

Qube, wide-eyed and mute, stared at the Chosen One as he climbed the stairs. Hesitantly, she stepped after him. Surely he just meant the others, and not her, right? She took another step, feeling confidence return to her. Yes, clearly, he meant Sexy Screamy Spider Lady shouldn’t follow, as she had issues with stairwells, Definitely Bad Guy couldn’t have his connection with the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess revealed, and Sewer Bard… well, Sewer Bard would just be more comfortable downstairs.

 

But she was a totally different matter!

 

Convinced by her own flawless logic, Qube happily trotted up the stairs after the Chosen One. The Chosen One, in the process of opening the dining room door, looked over his shoulder. As they made eye contact, he gave a big sigh.

 

“Sure, sure, sure,” he muttered. “What could possibly go wrong?”

 

“Chosen One, you seem tired. Perhaps you should try refreshing yourself with a short rest? I hear you can get a special bonus from sleeping in a bed!” Qube beamed. She couldn’t exactly remember where she had heard that, or what the special bonus was. Maybe the “ex pee” boost the Chosen One had mentioned in the Forbidden forest? But why would she tell him about something he already knew about?

 

Maybe she needed a short rest, too. See if she got any more dreams.

 

The Chosen One gave her an exhausted smile. “Yes ma’am,” he said. He frowned. “I have been getting really tired lately. Maybe I need to take a few days off. This is getting more and more draining.”

 

Qube nodded sympathetically. “Of course, Chosen One! You have a heavy burden, and it can’t be easy to have so much pressure on you.” She reached out and took his hand with both of hers. “If there’s any way I can help, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m here to support you, after all.”

 

The Chosen One looked down into her upturned face, an oddly arrested expression in his eyes.

 

Qube gave him her best Understanding Smile, as she had been trained to since childhood.

 

“Sure,” he said eventually. “I mean, yes.” He was silent for a few moments more. “I … thank you. You’re the perfect friend.”

 

Qube beamed in pleasure. The Chosen One squeezed her hands and then disentangled himself from her. Shaking himself lightly, he kicked open the dining room door with his usual vigor.

 

“Hey, yin and yang, think quick!” he said, flinging the hard-won one-of-a-kind/identical gems at the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess. The gems stopped in front of the Royal’s faces, and glowed.

 

“Huh, I guess you know the way of the future after all,” the Exiled Prince said, jerking his head. “The Lava Slime deserve to rule over themselves.” Qube eyed the Exiled Prince dubiously. That seemed a very strange thing for a Royal to say.

 

“I’m so glad you decided to help King Salamander and his people!” the Exiled Princess practically squeaked, her curly blond hair bouncing around wildly.

The Chosen One, as was tradition, ignored them and concentrated on taking everything not nailed down. Qube opened her mouth to tell him to stop stealing, but then closed it again. He wasn’t using her, so the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess could clearly see that he was taking them. And there was no way any royalty would ever hesitate to speak out against any injustice they saw. As if sensing her thoughts, the Chosen One glanced at her.

 

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“Gotta make that five hundred back somehow,” he shrugged.

 

“Given you helped restore the Salamander’s secret knowledge on how to become dragons, I believe you will now be able to access the Royal Library,” the Exiled Princess said, her tiny hands clasped firmly to her chest. Qube jerked like she’d been struck by lightning.

 

“Given you helped restore the Lava Slimes’ ability to feed themselves, I believe you will now be able to access the Royal Kitchen,” the Exiled Prince said, his large hands touching the medals on his chest. The Chosen One’s eyes flared with interest.

 

Once again, Qube found herself wondering how, exactly, these exiled Royals who were supposed to be slain on sight were able to freely give access to restricted areas. But also, why were the Royals waiting for them to finish various temples before giving the Chosen One permission? The pair knew he (and his companions) were the ones destined to save the world, why wouldn’t the two help said party by giving them as many resources as possible? Sure, the Chosen One was obviously going to succeed, but still. It would be more politically prudent to just give him free reign of the castle before the Evil Emperor figured out they were still in Cobbletown, but instead, the Royals were drip feeding them clearance.

 

“Take this token, and you will be able to access the Royal Library,” the Exiled Princess said, handing out a medallion.

 

“Take this token, and you will be able to access the Royal Kitchen,” the Exiled Prince said, handing out a medallion. 

 

Yeah, they were definitely twins of some kind. By birth or by magic, there was no way they could consistently pull that creepy — uh, charming! — synchronization off otherwise. (Qube was reasonably certain that the Royals couldn’t read her mind, but still. Never hurt to be safe.)

 

The Chosen One frantically waved his hand vaguely in the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess’s direction, the medallions disappearing. He hopped down off the table he had mounted at some point, shoving a bunch of candles into his pocket.

 

Qube and the Chosen One looked at each other, both practically vibrating in excitement.

 

“So,” the Chosen One said.

 

“So,” Qube said at the same time.

 

They looked at each other and laughed.

 

“Water Temple,” the Chosen One said over his shoulder. 

 

“It is located just north-west of here,” the Exiled Princess said. “I have marked it on your map. Please be careful, Chosen One!”

 

Qube was so excited about finally getting access to the Royal Library that she couldn’t even be bothered to mention that this was practically the exact same thing the Exiled Princess had said last time. And, once again, the Chosen One had no map and she had marked precisely nothing.

 

“Okay, so, first stop, we hit up the kitchens and I shove everything I can into my mouth. Sounds like a plan?” the Chosen One said, charging down the stairs.

 

“Of course, Chosen One!” Qube said cheerfully. “But, if I may, there is quite a lot I feel we could learn at the Royal Library and that may take quite a while. Given time is of the essence,” Qube actually wasn’t sure it was, given how many years the Evil Emperor had been ruling, but there presumably had been some reason the Golden Prophecy had activated? She mentally added that to her list of things to research.

 

The Chosen One looked at her, that familiar glint of mischief in his eyes. 

 

“Well, why don’t you go to the library and do that while I go to the kitchen?” the Chosen One grinned at her.

 

“Oh! Oh I would be… whatever you want, Chosen One! I would be more than happy to go around Cobbletown on my own without you by my side! That would be fine! In fact, I would love it! Not that I wouldn’t love you also coming with me. There’s — it’s not — I mean, I’m happy to go around on my own without you, but that doesn’t mean that I would prefer it. But you shouldn’t feel pressure to join me! I prefer whatever makes you happy!”

 

The Chosen One was just watching as Qube dug herself deeper and deeper into a social stress situation. He seemed to be trying very hard to not laugh at her.

 

“You wanna take Definitely Bad Guy and Sewer Bard with you?” he asked, controlling himself. “I wanna see how all the food items respond to Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s clipping.”

 

“If that’s what you want,” Qube said, sagging in relief like a puppet whose strings had been cut. “Then of course, I would love to do that.”

 

“Cool,” the Chosen One said, stepping out of the warm inn into the comparatively cooler town proper.

 

“Please don’t forget to wear warmer clothing if you get cold!” Qube called after him. He gave her a quizzical glance, before looking at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, who was currently trapped in one of the benches.

 

“You. [Follow].” The Chosen One ordered the Hunter.

 

And then the inn door swung shut behind him, leaving Qube with the two men.

 

Qube eyed the two of them. While it was rare that she would be left without the Chosen One, it was not unprecedented. She could handle this. Definitely Bad Guy liked books. A stray thought sparked in Qube’s mind.

 

Or, she could override what the Chosen One had said and send Definitely Bad Guy off to check on his Wizard Tower in peace. And maybe Sewer Bard would like to go check on his home in the sewers.

 

For the first time since leaving the village, Qube could choose to be totally and utterly alone.

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