Chapter 68: Chapter Sixty Seven: Third Quest Hand In

Having decided to engage in capitalism, Qube now had to make sure that Mr. Igma didn’t sell the book to anyone else. She did this by the simple measure of hiding it behind the shelving. For a second she felt like Mr. Igma was watching the book fly through the air and tuck itself away, but fortunately he was occupied by the fact that the Chosen One was trying to find out who made the potions he sold, and how much for. 

 

Qube had never known that the Chosen One had such a keen interest in economics. Perhaps that was where his gold obsession came from? Her heart stung as she realised that this might be another part of him that the Evil Emperor had stolen her memory of.

The next time she faced the Evil Emperor, she was going to — going to… Qube’s mind stuttered to a stop as she tried to think of what she could do to threaten the most powerful Evil in the land. If he removed the curse on her, his troops could probably overwhelm and kill her within seconds. 

 

She would give him a piece of her mind, at least! Demand that he give her back her memories of the Chosen One!

 

Or at least his name.

 

Qube flinched away from that thought. It hurt. The idea of asking her oldest friend what his name was… she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She would remember his name, and call him by it, even if she had to go toe to toe with the world’s greatest Evil.

 

She was his childhood companion. It was what she was made to do!

 

Book firmly wedged behind the shelf, she straightened up and brushed herself off. With a start, she realised that Definitely Bad Guy was right next to her, idly playing with a tiny fireball. She looked to the shopkeeper, but Mr. Igma did not seem at all perturbed by the fact that there was an open flame right next to all his books.

 

“Chosen One, perhaps we should be handing in our quest?” she suggested subtly. The Chosen One, momentarily giving up his mission to pull apart the economics of Mr. Igma, followed her out of the shop.

 

Qube could scarcely contain her excitement as they collected the other party members and headed towards the inn where the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess lurked. They were followed by a swarm of children, who kept begging Sewer Bard to sing them some more songs. Qube had never seen so many children in one place before. Why, there were nearly half a dozen of them! Truly, Cobbletown was a bustling metropolis.

 

She practically ran into the inn, she was so excited. The half-orc bartender looked up as the Chosen One entered the room. Granted, everyone always looked up when the Chosen One got near them, but still. Few of them were as cool-looking as the bartender, who was still grimly wiping an empty glass. She gave the party a fang-filled smile that rivalled that of Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s.

 

The Tavern Bard was still crooning her husky song, the place still smelled of sick and smoke, and everyone looked like they hadn’t moved since the last time the group was there. It was dark, gross, and crowded. Qube skipped forward, beaming at the glory of the truly traditional inn.

 

Ignoring everyone, the Chosen One looked over his shoulder at the group.

 

“[Wait],” he ordered and started climbing the rickety stairs.

 

Qube, naturally, followed him. He didn’t even seem surprised, just flung open the dining room door and marched into the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess’s room without ceremony.

 

The Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess were, as always, stunning. The Exiled Prince, with his brooding good looks, and the Exiled Princess with enough bows and lace to stop a crossbow bolt. 

 

“Hey, quest done, feather for some reason, chaos good, order great, here you go,” the Hero said, attempting to throw the two feathers at the Royals. It didn’t work terribly well. For a second Qube thought that the feathers were going to embarrassingly float to the ground, but the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess reached out and the feathers snapped to their palms. Some kind of low-level spell, Qube assumed, to keep the world from having to witness the awkwardness of watching Royals bend over and actually pick something up.

 

They had the same meals on the table as the last time Qube had been there. Must be the most Royal meals available.

 

If she were to try and describe the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess to, say, Squiggles, who last she saw was enjoying trying to hold eight flagons at once, Qube would be unable to say much more than that they were majestic. If the vibrant sparkliness of the Exiled Princess’s dress didn’t defy description, then the sheer number of tassels on the Exiled Prince’s vaguely military-looking uniform surely would.

 

“Oh, thank goodness you are safe, Chosen One!” the Exiled Princess gasped breathily, her hands clasping and unclasping in front of her chest.

 

“Huh, looks like the Deep Ones couldn’t touch you,” the Exiled Prince scoffed, flicking his head erratically. “Guess they weren’t as cool as I thought.”

 

“Thank you for saving the mermaids!” the Exiled Princess’s eyes shone with unshed tears. “I’m so glad the rightful rulers were returned to their royal regality! You are so very clever!”

 

“I’m glad you chose the correct side. Even though they couldn’t defeat you, you still helped the Deep Ones? I like your style,” the Exiled Prince sneered in almost-approval at the same time as his sister.

 

Qube was surprised at how little she was intimidated by the Royals now. Perhaps it was a result of repeated exposure to the Royals having somewhat lessened their impact. Or maybe it was just that, compared to meeting a dev, the Royals were no longer quite as imposing.

 

Either way, she noticed for the first time how inappropriate it was for them to be addressing the Chosen One like he was a child. Even their refusal to allow him total access to everything seemed mildly insulting. It was like they were continuously testing him, demanding he re-prove himself. What did they even think would be different about him next time he cleared a temple? What more did he need to prove to them for them to trust him fully?

 

“Chosen One, can you please ask them why they don’t allow us access to everywhere at once?” Qube asked, looking around to see what the Chosen One was stealing. But, for once, the Chosen One wasn’t cramming anything not nailed down into either his or her backpacks.

 

No, instead he was sitting at the dining table. Eating the Royal dinners.

 

Qube closed her eyes.

 

The Chosen One glanced at her then shrugged.

 

“My invisible friend wants to know why you won’t let us access everywhere at once,” he mumbled at the pair through their food.

 

...Maybe the Royals were justified in their hesitation to trust him.

 

The Exiled Princess was the first to process what the Chosen One had said.

 

“Oh, Chosen One! Your friends downstairs want to explore the city?” she trilled, bouncing on her heels. “Would that we could get you in everywhere, but we are working hard to regain access to the places that were once our home.”

 

“Even with our secret allies, it’s dangerous to get these tokens that grant you access to Royal spaces,” the Exiled Prince said, leaning against a wall and giving the Chosen One a cool look. “We can’t risk that Evil Emperor getting wind that we’re in the city. We’re risking our lives to get you into these places, hey.”

 

Qube blushed with mortification, glad that the Royals were oblivious to her presence. She’d been busy thinking ill of them, and the entire time they’d been putting their lives on the line to help the Chosen One! She pressed her hands against her reddened cheeks. If they only knew the treasonous thoughts she’d been having!

 

Never again would she question the Royal possible twins, she vowed.

 

“Cool, can I have the next tokens then?” The Chosen One, unmoved by the idea of a real live Prince and Princess risking themselves for him, held out the hand not currently stuffing their dinner in his mouth.

 

The Exiled Royals snapped to attention.

 

“Given you helped the Deep Ones return to their home, I believe you will now be allowed to purchase items at the Royal Treasury,” the Prince said, all of the previous passion wiped from his voice.

 

“Given you helped the Mermaids return to their home, I believe you will now be allowed to purchase items at the Royal Observatory,” the Princess said, her bubbliness somewhat subdued.

 

Together they each held out a medallion.

 

“Take this token, and you will be able to access the Royal Treasury,” the Prince said as the Chosen One waved his hand near the token.

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“Take this token, and you will be able to access the Royal Observatory,” the Princess said at the same time, her token also disappearing near the Chosen One’s hand.

 

The Chosen One’s eyes were sparkling with glee.

 

“Treasury?” he said, pulling out the Exiled Prince’s medallion and looking at it with love. He gently stroked it, chortling to himself. “Finally,” he whispered to the token.

 

“The next Temple is impossible for someone like you without special equipment. You’ll find the Royal Wings in the Royal Treasury,” the Exiled Prince said. “This token will let you borrow the Royal Wings you need for the Air Temple. Don’t try and take anything else.”

 

The Chosen One glared at the Exiled Prince.

 

“‘Don’t take anything else.’ Yeah, right,” he scoffed.

 

“The next Temple will be difficult without special equipment. You should be able to find the Royal Wings in the Royal Observatory,” the Exiled Princess said. “This token will enable you to borrow the Royal Wings, to help you complete the Air Temple. Please don’t try and take anything else.”

 

“I’m totally gonna try and take other things,” the Chosen One told Qube.

 

Qube looked at the Exiled Royals. They were both so Regal than neither of them moved a muscle at the direct proclamation that they were going to be disobeyed.

 

“Chosen One, please! Don’t steal from Royalty!” Qube hissed. She sighed. She was really going to have to keep a close eye on the Chosen One when they went to the Royal Treasury. Then it hit her.

 

She was supposed to go out and earn money while the Chosen One and her fellow Companions checked out the two new areas.

 

Which meant that if she stuck to her original plan, she was going to have to leave the loot-loving Hero alone. In the Royal Treasury. With no guiding light.

 

Or she could give up her hope of purchasing that book and chase after the Chosen One to make sure that he didn’t commit any particularly egregious crimes.

 

Qube was so busy frantically trying to figure out what she was going to do that she almost missed the Exiled Princess’s next words.

 

“I’ve marked the location of the Air Temple on your map. Good luck, Hero!” the Exiled Princess exclaimed, hands on her chest. Once again, there was no sign of marking, or maps.

 

“Where is this map?” Qube asked the Chosen One as he stood up from the Royal’s dinners.

 

The Chosen One hesitated for a beat before answering; “It’s invisible.”

 

Qube digested this thought.

 

“Why?” she asked.

 

The Chosen One pulled a face at her question. “It’s a Chosen One thing?” he said uncertainly.

 

“Then why can the Exiled Princess see it?”

 

“Because she’s special.”

 

“Like how I’m special?”

 

“No, more like, this is the only way she’s special.” The Chosen One was rubbing at his forehead.

 

“But why is she special in this way?”

 

“Cuz it’s easier than a physical map.” He was fully covering his face now.

 

“How so?”

 

“Cuz then I can always see it.”

 

Qube frowned. “How does that work?”

 

“I dunno how to explain it,” the Chosen One said, exasperated.

 

“Well, why is it invisible?” Qube asked.

 

The Chosen One threw his hands up in the air. “The devs made it that way!”

 

Qube was forcibly reminded of how, when she was a small child, she was constantly told “It’s Prophecy magic” whenever she questioned things too much.

 

“But why —”

 

The Chosen One picked up a sweetroll from the table and thrust it at Qube.

 

“Here, eat this. It’s delicious.”

 

Qube accepted the sweetroll in confusion.

 

“Thank you, but why —”

 

The Chosen One pushed Qube’s hands up to her mouth, shoving the sweetroll into her face, spun her around, and started marching her out of the room.

 

“I am never having kids,” he announced, and pushed her out of the room.

 

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